Blind Date Harry Potter Style!
by BeachBum754
Summary: Basically, a take off on Blind Date, with all characters Harry Potter! It should be funny... Malfoy, Sirius Black, and everyones favorite Sevvie Snape, not to mention just about everyone else...
1. Default Chapter

Blind Date- Harry Potter Style!  
By  
BeachBum754  
  
"Harry, come on wake up, we're going to miss it!" Ron whined, banging Harry with his pillow for the third time.  
  
Harry rolled over and looked at the time. "Ron, its 6:00am, what could we possibly miss at 6:00?"  
  
"Dumbledore said he was making a special announcement! I bet it's going to be for some sort of dance! Come on, Harry, let's go!" Ron said, already pulling on his shoes.  
  
"A dance?" Seamus Finnegan asked excitedly, sitting up in his four-poster, "Bloody hell! Let's go, Harry, move it!"  
  
Harry finally got up. He had to admit, he was excited about the prospect of a dance. He didn't have a clue who would want to go with him, but still, the school could use a little excitement. "Are you sure, Ron?" Neville asked, not as excited as the rest of them at the prospect of the dance.  
  
"Well what else would it be?" Ron asked. Then, catching the look on Neville's face, he added, "Don't worry Neville, someone will ask you."  
  
Dean Thomas was excited as well. "Maybe Lavender will go with you, Seamus!" he said as he struggled with a sock.  
  
When they were all ready, the five Gryffindors walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast and the announcement. 


	2. The Announcement

Walking into the Great Hall, Fred and George Weasley ran up to them. "You'll never believe it! The school. is doing." Fred said before he noticed Professor McGonagall standing behind Harry.  
  
"Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley. I'm not sure how you found out about what the school is doing, but I must ask that you not give away the surprise to the other students," Professor McGonagall asked, with a look that would certainly make them think twice before spilling the beans.  
  
Disappointed, the seven of the sat down, joining Hermione and Ginny at the Gryffindor table. Neither of them knew anything of the announcement, but both were hoping very much it was a dance. The last time they had had a dance, Hermione had been the envy of the school, and she was looking forward to an opportunity to do it again, this time with a partner other than the surly Viktor Krum.  
  
Across the hall, Fred and George noticed Draco Malfoy sitting at the Slytherin table with Crabbe and Goyle. Judging by the look of anger on his face, he was as clueless as Harry, Ron, Seamus, Dean, and Neville as to what it would be. The pale faced blonde had had yet not to know what was going on in the school.  
  
"This is so unfair," Malfoy complained to his 'bodyguards', "Father always tells me what will be going on in this school. Maybe Dumbledore didn't even tell him! When I find out what this surprise announcement is, I'm owling Father straightaway. Maybe he can convince the governors to sack him for not sharing the information with them. Nobody keeps anything from a Malfoy without a damn good reason! Right Crabbe?"  
  
Crabbe and Goyle nodded, looking about as intelligent as the suits of armor around the school. On second thought, Draco decided that the suits of armor were probably smarter, since they occasionally made up stupid songs and had stupid contests. The day Crabbe and Goyle won a contest would be the day he went out with that Mudblood Granger.  
  
Over at the Ravenclaw table, Cho Chang was talking to Padma Patil about the announcement as well. Ever since Dumbledore had announced that there would be an announcement, it was all anyone who was anyone had been talking about. "So you think it's a dance then?" Cho asked, eyes shining.  
  
Padma nodded. "For sure, Cho, what else would it be? I can't wait! I hope this time I get a date other than that Weasley. He's so boring! But his oldest brother Bill is so hot! Why couldn't Ron be more like him? Even Fred and George aren't awful, and Percy would be hot if he wasn't so stiff," she said, giggling.  
  
Cho laughed. "You're lucky! At least you could have a date! I don't even know if anyone will ask me!" she said, frowning. Padma rolled her eyes. "You're kidding me! You're the most popular girl in school! You're a seeker, and a Prefect, and everyone loves you!" Cho grinned. Maybe Padma was right. She certainly hoped the announcement was a dance.  
  
The Gryffindors were having a similar conversation. Mostly it was Hermione reassuring Ginny that Dumbledore was going to allow the younger girl's year to go to the dance. "Oh this is going to be so much fun, Hermione!" Ginny squealed, sneaking a peek at Harry, who didn't notice. Her brother Percy did, though. "Ginny, you don't even know whether or not there's going to be a dance yet," Percy said in a long suffering tone, "You can stop sneaking glances at the boys." Hermione and Ginny rolled their eyes. Both though perfect Percy was way to stiff. He needed to loosen up. If there was a dance, they decided they would set him up with a girl who would maybe loosen him up a little bit.  
  
Everyone was so deep in conversation and in eating breakfast that they didn't even notice when Professor Dumbledore banged his spoon against his glass in an attempt to get their attention. "Professor Snape, would you kindly get everyone's attention? You seem to have a gift of getting people to pay attention," Professor Dumbledore asked, eyes twinkling.  
  
Professor Snape sighed. It was true, he did have a gift. Of course, in his opinion, he was gifted in everything. Except for getting Dumbledore to tell him about the surprise announcement. He hadn't even told the teachers about what was happening. Of course, he had probably told Minerva, the 'Deputy Headmistress'. She was such a Headmaster's pet. But still, the sooner he got everyone's attention, the sooner he could find out the announcement himself. So he stood up at the table.  
  
"QUIET!!!!!!!" he shouted, making his most severe expression. The entire student body fell silent, looking up at the greasy-haired professor. "Professor Dumbledore has an announcement to make, and if you could all try to remain silent for just one minute, you might find out what it is!" Snape snapped, sitting back down. As he sat down, Professor Dumbledore stood up, and the students relaxed a little.  
  
"Thank you Professor Snape. And on to the announcement. Students, you have all heard many interesting rumours about my little announcement. I heard a particularly interesting one myself that I would be adding an addition to the castle that would contain a Snogging Room and indoor Jacuzzi available to everyone in 3rd year and up," he said, pausing. Everyone cheered at this prospect, especially Malfoy, who was banging his goblet on the table with a sickening expression of 'I'm better than you' on his face.  
  
After the cheering died down, he continued, "Sorry to disappoint everyone, but that is not true. Besides, that would take away the fun of teachers finding students in compromising situations in the classrooms. Anyway, I've been informed by two representative students, who wish to remain nameless for fear of being killed for keeping it a secret, that this surprise is going to be almost as good. Hosted by students, and being played by student and some professors alike, I am pleased to announce that Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry will be taking part in-" 


	3. Fred & George's Great Idea

"A takeoff on Blind Date, Hogwarts style! For those of you who don't know, this is a muggle matchmaking game, which should prove to be very entertaining, and a great activity to take everyone's mind off the pressure of final exams, which we will actually be having this year! And for my own entertainment, whoever you get set up with on Blind Date will then be your date for Hogwarts new tradition, the annual Spring Ball! And for the idea of this fabulous game," Dumbledore continued, eyes twinkling, "you should all give a big hand to resident pranksters Fred and George Weasley!"  
  
The entire Great Hall went up in an uproar. Everyone was clapping and cheering, and Fred and George were taking elaborate bows and laughing hysterically. "You knew about this- you came up with this- and you didn't even tell your own brother?" Ron asked, feigning shock. Fred and George shook their heads. "Disappointed, little brother?" George asked, messing up Ron's hair. Ron shook his head enthusiastically, "No WAY!" Hermione walked up to the two of them, beaming with excitement. "Fred, George, you guys are amazing! This is going to be so cool! Do you know when it starts?" she asked, and Ginny nodded her head excitedly behind her. "Starts tonight, Gryffindor common room! Be there- that is, if your name is on the list!" Fred said, grinning broadly at her slightly nervous look.  
  
"What do you mean, if your name is on the list?" Angelina Johnson asked, walking over and pulling Fred's imitation of his brother Bill's ponytail, "How does your name get on the list?" Fred and George smirked self- satisfactorily. "Well, Dumbledore insisted on using a magical selector to make it impartial, but we managed to get a few of our own choices in there," George said with an air of mystery. Everyone around the two groaned. "Who's there? Come on, tell us!" Harry asked curiously. As you could tell from the crowd around Fred and George, no one was taking the suspense very well. Everyone was dying to know.  
  
Percy included, apparently, because he pushed through the crowd to where his brothers were standing. "Fred, George," he said, trying not to look excited, "What exactly do you know about this 'Blind Date' that the rest of the students don't? As a Prefect, and your brother, I deserve to know everything you do." George laughed, seeing the look of unhidden excitement on Percy's face. "Come off it, Perce, you know you just can't wait to know what's happening, and whether or not you've been chosen, either by us or the impartial hat that will be the impartial selector," he said, guessing the truth. Percy gave him a glare, and walked away, much to the laughter of Ron, Harry, Dean, Seamus, and Hermione, who were all happy to see Fred and George top perfect Prefect Percy.  
  
At the Slytherin table, Draco Malfoy was trying to decide whether to be incredibly happy or very annoyed. He opted for happy, and tried to ignore the fact that the Weasley twins, who in his opinion had about as much brains as they did gold, had come up with the idea. "This is going to be fabulous," Malfoy bragged to Crabbe and Goyle, "the girls will be all over me hoping that I'll be their blind date." At that moment, coincidentally, thin, blond, Pansy Parkinson with her 'pug' nose walked over, putting her arm around Draco. "You know that's true, Draco honey," she said, smiling at her crush, "I sure hope we get matched up!" Draco smirked at Crabbe and Goyle, as if proving his point.  
  
Even though he found the Slytherin girl very annoying and altogether too talkative, he thought she was very pretty, and when she wasn't gabbing a mile a minute, she had a fine personality too. His father certainly approved of Pansy. She was almost exactly the type of girl Lucius hoped his son would end up with. Not that he liked her because his father told him too, Draco was always sure to clear up. He didn't like to be thought of as the type who did everything daddy said. He was a Malfoy, it was just in their lines to choose the right girls and pick the right fights. He was sure whatever this Blind Date matchmaker game was would recognize his bloodline and put him with someone suitable and perfect for him, like Pansy.  
  
Cho Chang at the Ravenclaw table was now thinking something along the same lines. Cedric Diggory's death had left her feeling less good about herself than she usually felt. But Padma, he best friend, along with her slew of admirers and the fact that she now realized that she was one of the most popular girls in school certainly boosted her confidence. "I wonder who I'll get matched with!" she squealed to Padma, looking confident and excited. Padma shrugged, thinking maybe she liked being Cho's best friend better when she wasn't totally confident and back to being her popular guy- crazy self.  
  
Back at the Gryffindor table, Fred and George were still keeping it secret who would be participating and who would get to play the role of the screaming fans. Draco Malfoy swaggered over to them, walking with purpose. "I just wanted to let you know," he said after making his way through the crowd, "that if I am not participating in this game, you will be hearing personally from my father. And I should warn you, he is very evil, and has a very cool snake cane that he would be glad to use on your heads." Fred laughed, and rolled his eyes at him. "Malfoy, get a life. You can wait to find out just like everyone else," he said, gesturing to the group of people who were just as much in suspense as Malfoy was.  
  
At the staff table, Professor Snape was arguing with Professor Dumbledore. "Headmaster, have you lost your mind?" he asked with a glare, "We are talking about teenage wizards here! Do you remember the last time you tried to do a muggle game show, when I was in school? Sirius Black wound up snogging every girl in school, James Potter's already swollen head became twice its size when he got set up with Lily, Peter Pettigrew got helped along on the road to becoming the bitter rat that he is, and Lucius Malfoy wound up marrying Narcissa!"  
  
Professor Dumbledore laughed merrily, thinking back to the time when Sevvie had been at school with Lucius, Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus Lupin. That had been one of his favorite groups to teach. They were right up there with the group he had at Hogwarts right now.  
  
"As a matter of fact, Severus, I do! Would you be so kind as to go up to the Owlery and send invitations to Sirius Black (A/N: his name has been cleared for all official purposes) and Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy to come join us in round one of our game show this evening? We wouldn't want you to be one of the only adults playing now, would we?" Dumbledore said, enjoying his joke.  
  
He was a very creative thinker, and one of his favorite pastimes was to try to set Severus up with other people. He also liked driving the 36 year old professor crazy. This new plan did both, as well as proving very amusing to the students. He had to remember to thank Fred and George Weasley again for this particular idea.  
  
Snape, after much protest, agreed to go send the messages, and once he was gone Dumbledore banged his spoon to his goblet again, this time getting everyone's attention. "One more thing before I send you on your way to class," he said, grinning, "I'd like to thank Fred and George Weasley once again for this particular idea. And as I know you are all incredibly curious about the list of people participating, I will tell you this much. You will be notified as to whether you are participating in the game at 1:30pm. Those participating will magically receive a pink stuffed heart at precisely 1:30pm, wherever in the school you may be and whatever you may be doing. I know that the creators of this wonderful idea wished for me to send you something more, shall I say, protective, but the other teachers and I decided it would be- less than appropriate. So without further ado, off to class!" 


	4. Pink Stuffed Hearts

"Off to class? OFF TO CLASS? How can they expect us to concentrate knowing that we could be meeting our perfect match in less than 24 hours?" Hermione said, panicking as she tried to comb her fingers through her bushy brown hair.  
  
Ron and Harry laughed as they made the familiar walk to Transfiguration. "Hermione, I think you're taking this too seriously. It's just a stupid game show, after all. This is all so that Fred and George can wind up with the girls they want and so that they and Dumbledore can have a laugh. It's not like it determines who you'll be spending the rest of your life with!" Ron said before they walked into class. "But it could!" Hermione said earnestly, "My parents were matched up on a game show!"  
  
Shaking their heads, the boys took a seat in the back of McGonagall's class, leaving Hermione to sit up front with Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown. "This is so, exciting, Mione!" Parvati said happily, blushing, "I hope I get paired up with Harry. The way his hair is so messy all the time is such a turn-on!"  
  
Lavender looked just as excited. "Yeah, Mione, don't you think Parvati and Harry would make the cutest couple? And maybe I'll get matched with Seamus! Of course, then we'd have to hope Dean was matched up too, because Seamus is so loyal he would probably feel bad leaving his best friend," she said, talking so fast it was hard to understand.  
  
"Do you ever think about anything but guys?" Hermione asked in frustration. Both Lavender and Parvati shook their heads, looking very proud. 'Some people can be so shallow,' Hermione thought. What else could she have expected, though? If the school was going to be setting people up on a blind date matchmaking show, and then having them go with their 'perfect match' to the dance, how could anyone be anything but shallow. Hermione shrugged, going with the flow. "I wonder who I'll end up with!" she said to Parvati and Lavender, "I hope it's someone totally hot though."  
  
"Enough, class," Professor McGonagall frowned, walking into the room, "The Weasley twins seem to be trying to corrupt the entire school to think and act like they do, and all I can say is that I hope they don't succeed. Now I have an important lesson to teach today, so let's get to work and talk about what's happening after class after class."  
  
Because the whole class had had experience in how strict McGonagall could be, even taking points away from her own house, they obliged. But they were very happy to get out of class and talk in the halls about Blind Date. Hermione even walked on to lunch with Parvati and Lavender, so engrossed in their conversation about how the show was actually incredibly accurate and predicted who you really were a perfect match for very truthfully that she forgot to walk with Harry and Ron.  
  
"I'm worried, Ron," Harry said a little anxiously, "Hermione is taking this whole thing really seriously. What if she ends up with Neville or something! Think how upset she'll be!" Ron rolled his eyes. "You worry too much Harry," he said calmly, "It's going to be fine! It's so obvious. Hermione will just end up with one of us! We're best friends already; one of us must be the perfect match for her!" Harry nodded, slightly reassured. Ron was right- Who better to be Hermione's perfect match than one of her two best friends. He hoped.  
  
In the Great Hall, Harry and Ron sat down next to Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia. "Hey Harry, enjoying the suspense?" George asked, grinning. Harry shrugged and nodded. What could he say? He was. "Know who you want to end up with, Ronniekins?" Angelina asked, laughing. Ron blushed. "Well, um, I," he stammered, at a loss for words. Alicia took over from there. "Ronnie, who's the lucky girl? Come on, you can tell us!" she said in her most persuasive tone.  
  
Ron grimaced. He hated when his brothers [girl] friends treated him like a two-year old. Bill had always had girls over over the summer, and they had completely ignored him. Charlie's girls had always tried to bribe him to help them lure animals to the house, even though he always wound up with a burn or a bite. With Percy, girls like Penelope Clearwater acted like he was dumber than Crabbe and Goyle. And now Fred and George's girl friends acted like he was still in grade school. He was only 2 years younger than them! Well he would show them. Blind Date would show that he was the perfect match for an older girl, and they wouldn't treat him like a kindergartener anymore. Until then, at least he was thankful that they talked to him and knew his name.  
  
"I'm not telling," Ron said, sounding very mature indeed as he finished his lunch quickly and went off to the Gryffindor common room. Harry laughed along with Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia. "So then who do you want to go with, Harry?" Fred and Angelina said at almost the exact same time. Harry suddenly turned red. "Oh, I don't know," he said, and hurried off to join Ron in the common room, where they could complain about how little secrecy there was about who liked which girl.  
  
Too soon it was time to go to their next class, Potions. It was their bad luck that 1:30 fell right in the middle of class with their least favorite Professor in the school. That day, everyone wound up coming to Potions early. It was a good excuse to be able to sit down and talk about the event that was going to happen that night.  
  
Draco was especially excited. He couldn't wait to see what girl was going to get matched up with him. He hoped it was Pansy. He had decided over lunch that she wasn't too talkative after all. Besides, when she talked too much, all he had to do was snog her, and she would shut up. And she had promised him that she had a stash of Butterbeer hidden in the Slytherin common room to help them celebrate when they got paired together.  
  
Just then, Pansy walked up to him, putting her arm around his waist. Unfortunately for them, Snape chose this moment to walk into class. "Miss Parkinson, Mr. Malfoy, if you could please keep your hands off each other while in my classroom it would be much appreciated. I hope for everyone's sake that no one in this class goes on that ridiculous show. 10 Points from Gryffindor for you, Miss Granger. Don't talk while I'm talking. Oh, and Draco, I thought I'd let you know that Mommy and Daddy Dearest will be participating in tonight's show at Dumbledore's request. So you better hope you don't get picked, anyway. I wouldn't want to be showing my face at that show with your parents," Snape said, sneering unpleasantly, "Now, without further ado, the lesson for today."  
  
Everyone groaned at the fact that they still had to have Potions. However, all the Gryffindors' spirits were lifted by the fact that Malfoy looked sick at the thought of his- interesting- parents on Hogwarts: Blind Date. But before Professor Snape could even start the lesson, Lee Jordan's voice magically boomed throughout the school.  
  
"Students and professors of Hogwarts School, this is Lee Jordan! I'm talking here on behalf of my best friends, Gred and Forge- sorry, I mean Fred and George Weasley, and our own Professor Dumbledore! As you may know for those of you who wear a watch, the time we have all been waiting for is approaching! That's right; currently the clocks of Hogwarts read 1:28! All teachers are requested to please stop lessons so that the students can take this opportunity to make a whole lot of noise and jump up and down! Everyone should be on the lookout! If you should receive a pink stuffed heart, then you have been selected! If not, then you can come watch and be a screaming fan! The fun starts directly after dinner tonight, so get prepared! And without further ado, at 1:29, the countdown begins! 60 59 58 57 56---11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2-"  
  
The entire Potions class (the entire school, for that matter) held their breath as Lee Jordan counted down the final numbers. Finally, he said one, and everyone screamed, even though no hearts had appeared yet. Then the air filled with pink fluff that looked like cotton candy. Swirling around it took the shape of- you guessed it- pink stuffed hearts! "AHH! I got one!" Pansy shrieked, "And so did you Draco!"  
  
Draco grinned self-satisfiedly. "Of course I did, Pansy. I'm a Malfoy," he said calmly. But even he couldn't retain himself, and the two hugged. "Yes! I got one!" Hermione squealed, along with Lavender and Parvati, who had gotten them too. Harry and Ron looked down only to find pink stuffed hearts in their arms as well. "We made it!" Ron yelled. All around, people were exclaiming that they had made it, and whining that they hadn't. Suddenly, an audible groan was heard. The whole class turned to the front of the room, where Professor Snape was sitting with a look of horror on his face and a pink stuffed heart in his hand.  
  
After class, everyone rushed to right outside the Great Hall, where there was a list posted of all the people who would be on the show. Everyone wanted to see if their friends and their crushes had gotten chosen. The final list looked like this:  
  
Blind Date- Hogwarts Style! Alicia Spinnet Angelina Johnson Aurora Sinistra Cho Chang Dean Thomas Draco Malfoy Fred Weasley George Weasley Ginny Weasley Harry Potter Hermione Granger Katie Bell Lavender Brown Lucius Malfoy Narcissa Malfoy Oliver Wood Pansy Parkinson Padma Patil Parvati Patil Penelope Clearwater Percy Weasley Remus Lupin Ron Weasley Seamus Finnegan Severus Snape Sirius Black  
  
"You guys are lucky," Neville said to Harry and Ron, "Now you not only get to be in the cool show, you don't even have to worry about finding dates to the dance!" Harry and Ron thought for a second. It was true! They were now home free; they could have a blast on the show and come out with a date to the dance.  
  
After checking the list, Hermione came over to them. "Harry, Ron, we made it! Aren't you happy?" she asked, hugging them both at once, "But can you believe some of the people they have on here? Snape? Please, who would be the perfect match for him?" 


	5. Rush to the Rooms

Disclaimer: I don't really know if I'm supposed to put a disclaimer, but just in case here it is: I do not (unfortunately) own anything to do with Harry Potter; it all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I'd love to borrow Draco Malfoy and Professor Snape sometime, though! PLEEZ?  
  
(A/N: Professor Sinistra is supposed to be on the list of people in Chapter 4 too)  
  
Soon after the list was posted, there was a mad rush to get to the dormitories. Considering the show was going to be starting right after dinner, everyone had to be in the clothes they were going to be wearing at Blind Date at dinner. This didn't mean that much for the people who were just going to be watching, which was most people, but for the 26 who had gotten chosen to participate, most of them would really care what they wore to it.  
  
"Oh god, Hermione, what are we going to wear?!" Parvati exclaimed after checking the list. "Calm down, Parvati, we'll find something!" she answered, although (unusually for her) she was blushing and wringing her hands. "We'd better get started; we don't have too long until dinner!" Lavender said, and the three Gryffindor girls ran up the stairs to their room. Ginny ran up after them, looking incredibly nervous. Angelina, Alicia, and Katie were having a similar conversation nearby, and soon they too disappeared up to their room, followed by a very anxious looking Penelope Clearwater.  
  
Cho and Padma went up to the Ravenclaw dorms in a hurry, and Pansy Parkinson (after giving Draco a good snog) practically flew to her room in the Slytherin area. The boys were a little less nervous about what to wear, but even so, they left for their rooms just a little bit after all the girls disappeared.  
  
"Are you nervous, Harry?" Colin Creevey asked, trying to keep up with Harry, Ron, Seamus, and Dean as they made their way up the Gryffindor staircase, "Because there's a lot at stake here I mean. I mean, you're so famous, what if the girls are fighting over you? Or what if the guys are fighting over you? Or what if no one wants you at all? Not that that could happen of course, but-"  
  
"Shut up, Colin," Harry asked, pushing the camera kid aside. Colin (for once) took a hint and left. Once in their dorm, the four boys (who had gotten chosen) started searching through their trunks for suitable clothes. "I have nothing to wear!" Ron whined, holding up his regular Hogwarts robes and his awful maroon dress robes, "I'm going to be the laughingstock of the entire school! And Padma Patil will never like me!" Seamus rolled his eyes. "Calm down, Weasley," he said, laughing, "First of all, you don't even like Padma Patil. Second, you can borrow some of Dean and Harry's muggle clothes, like me!"  
  
"Hey, who said you could borrow our clothes?" Dean asked, emerging from under his bed with a pair of jeans. But he and Harry were perfectly happy to lend some of their clothes to Ron and Seamus. Once they were all dressed, and they had attempted to make their hair look presentable (somehow Harry never quite grasped that concept), they went down to dinner, meeting a somewhat glum Neville at the Gryffindor table. They were actually some of the first people to arrive for dinner. Most everyone else was still changing.  
  
Fred, George, Lee Jordan, Oliver Wood, and Percy were getting ready up in their dorm. Lee Jordan wasn't a contestant, but Fred and George had informed him that he, along with a person who will remain anonymous until the show, would be hosting. Fred, George, Oliver, and Lee were having no problem getting ready. They had muggle clothes to wear that they had seen in magazines that were supposed to be super cool for guys. Fred and George had access to these magazines only because Mr. Weasley was so obsessed with muggles that he wanted his sons to have a proper education in them, even if they didn't take Muggle Studies. They had found them pretty interesting, so they had lent to Lee, who was of course their best friend. The only thing Fred was having trouble with was convincing his mini-ponytail à la Bill to cooperate. But after some help from George and Lee, he was all set. "I can't do this. I just can't do this! I don't even have any clothes to wear, and I don't know how to make my hair look right, and Penny is going to be there, and she won't even like me!" Percy whined, almost crying from stress.  
  
"Calm down, Percy," George said, "We'll help you get ready." Percy looked miffed. "I don't need any help," he said, his pride unable to let him have his brothers and their friend pity him. "We know, Perce," Fred said, with a wink at George, Oliver, and Lee, "but we'll help you anyway. Hey, why not use our extra getting-ready time for the good of others?" George and Lee nodded, and Percy reluctantly agreed to let them help him.  
  
About 15 minutes later, a shocked-looking Percy emerged from the bathroom. "I look. good!" he said, examining the outfit Lee, Oliver, Fred, and George had transfigured. He was wearing baggy light blue jeans, a white tank top, and a blue button down shirt unbuttoned over it. He had hiking boot style shoes on, and Fred had gelled his hair to be slightly spiked, looking like he had just rolled out of bed and his hair fell just right. "You look great, Perce. Now can we please go down to dinner? I'm starving," Lee announced, checking his dreadlocks one last time in the mirror. The other four boys agreed, and they went down to join Harry, Ron, Seamus, Dean, and Neville at the Gryffindor table.  
  
In the girls' side of the Gryffindor dormitories, Hermione, Parvati, Lavender, and Ginny weren't having a much easier time. Ginny was having the worst of it. She was not only the youngest contestant; she also didn't know how to act around guys. And then there was the fact that she had no idea about muggle fashions, which were the only acceptable thing to wear to a cool event like this, and she didn't really know how to use much makeup. "Don't worry, Ginny, we'll fix you up!" Hermione said. She, Lavender, and Parvati looked excited to do it. "But we better come up with our own outfits first," Parvati said, starting to dig through her trunk.  
  
Not too much later, they emerged from the bathroom looking perfect. Hermione was wearing fairly tight whisker-wash flare jeans that her cousin in Paris had sent her, along with a baggy red sweatshirt that said "Just Like Magic" on it, and sneakers. She had decided to dress up rather unlike herself, but she was still dressed pretty conservatively. Lavender had gone a little more daring, wearing the same sort of jeans, but with a black tube top and flip-flops. Parvati, who was the biggest flirt of them all, and boy crazy, had gone with what Hermione (and Ginny) thought must be the shortest skirt in existence with a tight white tank top and platform sandals. They were all (especially Parvati) wearing a fair amount of makeup.  
  
"How am I ever going to look that good?" Ginny whined sadly. "Let's get to work, girls," Lavender laughed, and they went right at it. 15 minutes later, Ginny couldn't believe herself. "You guys are amazing! Thank you so much!" she said, looking at herself. She was wearing tight khaki capris, backless sneakers, and a low-cut sheer blue t-shirt with a black tank top under it. "No problem," Hermione said, looking very proud of herself. After they all went and double checked their hair and makeup, the four of them walked down to dinner. On the stairs they met up with Angelina, Alicia, Katie, and Penelope Clearwater.  
  
"Hey Mione, hey everyone!" Angelina smiled, "Great outfits!" The four smiled, glad that someone had appreciated their efforts. "You guys look great too," Ginny said nicely and truthfully. "Thanks," Katie said, "doesn't Penny look fabulous? She was so freaked out because Percy Weasley was going to be there, and just couldn't find and outfit, but we helped her out a bit, and now she looked great!" Hermione nodded. "Percy will be impressed," she said, laughing at the look of embarrassment and the blushing of Penny whenever anyone said Percy's name. Changing the subject, Penny suggested they go down to dinner, and so they joined everyone else at the Gryffindor table.  
  
As soon as Hermione sat down, Ron couldn't stop staring at her. It took Harry five tries to get his attention. "Ron, what are you staring at?" he asked, because he had been facing the other way and not seen Hermione in her cool outfit with her straightened hair. "H-H-Hermione," he said, breathing unsteadily. Harry looked. "Whoa," he said, "Dean, Seamus, Fred, George, Oliver, Lee, check out Hermione!" All five of them turned to look.  
  
"She looks good," Seamus admitted, "but look at Lavender in that tube top!" Lavender heard him (they were only a few seats away), and blushed. Fred and George were gaping at Angelina and Alicia (in that order), and Oliver was staring at Katie. They couldn't notice anyone else. Lee looked down that way too. "Nice," he said, "but check out Parvati!" Lee was immediately unable to take his eyes off her. "Damn I wish I was playing this game!" he said. Parvati, noticing he was staring at her, licked her lips and flipped her hair back.  
  
"Oh well, more for me," Ron said to Harry. "Hey what about-" Harry started to say. Then he caught a glimpse of Cho walking into the great hall with Padma (Start slow motion with 'she's beautiful' music). Harry looked at Cho, admiring her short skirt, which showed off her legs nicely, and her tight sweatshirt, which Harry couldn't help staring at. He let out a little moan, looking at her. Ron broke his eyes away from Hermione to look at Harry. "What the bloody hell was that?" he asked, shaking his head. He followed Harry's eyes to wear Cho was standing. "Good luck, Harry," he said, noticing that many of the other people in the Great Hall were staring at her also, "you're going to need it."  
  
Over at the Slytherin table, no one was being quite so subtle. Draco was getting many admiring compliments from the Slytherin girls about his black jeans and white tank top, which showed off his muscles and made him look incredibly sexy (A/N: I want Draco Malfoy! He is so hot! Tom Felton! I wouldn't turn down ol' Sevvie, either, but that's beside the point- Draco is HOT!). He was really enjoying himself. He usually got lots of attention, but at this point he felt like he was a movie star. Then Pansy Parkinson walked in, wearing a red rocker miniskirt and a black tank top that would have been a vest except it held together with a row of safety pins going all the way down the front of the skirt. She was also wearing knee-high black boots.  
  
Draco couldn't take his eyes off her; he had never seen any girl look so sexy. Most people probably would have said she looked $l*tty, but Draco thought she looked hot, and he probably wouldn't have cared even if he had thought that she looked $l*tty. "Hey Draco," she said, running a finger down his bare arm, "Like my outfit?"  
  
"Wow," he said, practically drooling, "you look very hot. I think there's only one way I would like that outfit better!" (A/N: Yes, people with their minds in the gutter, we all know what Draco is hinting at, okay? D@mn, Pansy is lucky) Pansy smiled, blinking her big blue eyes. "Well, I guess we can wait and see what happens on the show," she said, wetting her lips, "I sure hope I get paired with you. we would have a lot of fun at the dance." Draco was practically wetting his pants. His dad was right to tell him to stick with her. She was totally hot, and funny, and she could ask a guy out or show that she liked him without making him do all the work.  
  
Unfortunately for Draco, the moment Pansy wrapped her arms around his neck, Professor Snape walked by. "Mr. Malfoy, Miss Parkinson, if you could please keep your hands off each other until an appropriate time, I'm sure everyone else would greatly appreciate it. 5 points from Slytherin for each of you," he said silkily. Pansy removed her arms from Draco's neck, and he stood there pouting. Professor Snape hardly ever took points off of his own house; he must be in a really foul mood.  
  
And on top of that, if Draco couldn't kiss Pansy in the Great Hall, where could he kiss her? It would be difficult to on Blind Date (A/N: It's not really going to be aired in the muggle world as a show, but I guess it will be videoed for students to see at Professor Dumbledore's discretion. So don't mind me if I refer to it as a show) tonight, considering Professor Dumbledore had gone and invited his father. What kind of an idiot would invite his dad, Lucius Malfoy of all people, and his mom, to participate in a show like Blind Date? He sincerely hoped that this didn't mean that his parents would be attending the dance. Both of them were all right on their own, but when they were together, they were incredibly annoying. And he also sincerely hoped that no one would think it was funny to spike the punch like at the last dance they had had. His parents together at a dance when they were pissed (drunk) would not be a pretty picture. And they would ruin all the fun he could have with Pansy. How easy would it be to sneak off to the Slytherin dormitories with Mr. Malfoy's eagle eye on him all the time?  
  
During dinner, every table was abuzz with talking about the show. Neville had perked up a little bit at the prospect of standing next to Susan Bones in the crowd, so even he was excited. But everyone in the show was nervous too, although some showed it more than others. As dinner was ending, Sirius Black and Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy came into the Great Hall and sat down next to Professor Lupin, Professor Snape, and Professor Sinistra. They were the six adults that would be participating. Dumbledore started laughing at the thought of it.  
  
After a minute, he banged his spoon on his goblet. It took the students awhile, but finally they had all directed their attention to Dumbledore. "Students and teachers, welcome to a night that will surely go down in Hogwarts history. Hogwarts version of Blind Date will in fact be taking place tonight in the Gryffindor Common Room," he began, "It will be taking place there not because of house bias, but because it is the biggest common room. Don't panic if you think everyone won't fit, because your other teachers and I have made sure that you will. The dance that will be taking place in response to this evening will be held the night after tomorrow. I must ask that if you are participating in the show that you spend at least half of your evening with the person you get matched with. It is up to you if you want to do this in a group or alone. If you aren't participating, feel free to find yourself a date. Once again, I must thank Fred and George Weasley for their creative genius. And without further ado, if all the students, professors, guests, and Lee Jordan that are participating in the show will please follow Professor McGonagall. The rest of you may come with me to the common room if you should so desire. Let the fun begin!" 


	6. PreShow Jitters

A/N: Hey everyone! Wuzzup? I hope you like my story so far, thanx a bunch to the people who reviewed! PLEEZ review me! This is my first fic after all. In response to a review I did get, this is probably Harry and everyone's 5th year at Hogwarts (it has to be since Cedric is dead, you're right). I know that if this is the case Percy and Oliver shouldn't be there; I don't even know if Fred and George and Lee and the Gryffindor chasers should be. But I chose to ignore this fact and let Hogwarts go on a few extra years. Dumb I know, but how could I leave them out?!  
  
Harry, Ron, Hermione, and everyone else who was going to be participating got up to follow Professor McGonagall, with Fred and George in the lead. In front next to Professor McGonagall was Professor Snape, who did not look very happy and was complaining with such faces and hand motions that the students were afraid he was going to curse them before they got a chance to find their "soulmates."  
  
Draco Malfoy in the back of the group was looking around for his mother and father, but not seeing them anywhere. "Maybe they went and splinched themselves, and won't be able to come tonight!" Pansy said. She didn't look too disappointed. Draco grinned at the thought. "I hope so Pansy," he said, smiling for once, "I wouldn't want them to see the look on my face when I get paired with you."  
  
Up at the front, Hermione was looking exceedingly nervous. "Oh no, oh no, what am I going to do! I'm so nervous! What if I don't even like my soulmate? What if I get paired up with someone awful?" she asked, looking unusually pale, even under all her makeup. Ron nervously gave her a hug (A/N: All together: AWW!). "Its okay, Hermione," he said comfortingly, "I'm sure you'll love them." Harry had to laugh at the look on his face. He looked like he was wishing extremely hard about something, and he had a pretty good idea of what it was. Ron had always liked Hermione; everyone knew it.  
  
Harry himself had liked her for quite a while. He, of course, also liked Cho Chang, but she never gave him any sign of returning his affection. And then there was Ginny, who really seemed to like him, judging by the way she was walking nervously with Parvati and Lavender, and stealing what she probably thought were secret glances at him. Unfortunately for her, he didn't really like her that. Besides, if he ever did, all the Weasleys would probably beat him up if he ever tried anything. Not that the reaction would be any less for Hermione, at least in Ron's case. But whatever.  
  
Once they arrived at the [secret] back entrance to the Gryffindor common room, everyone gathered nervously around Professor McGonagall, who seemed to be the only one who knew the password to this back entrance. Once she let them in, all the participants were expecting to see the huge crowd of students whom they had last seen following Professor Dumbledore eagerly to the common room. But instead, they saw what seemed to be an extremely comfortable lounge, complete with midnight blue poufs around polished mahogany tables. There was a fire roaring in the fireplace, and big red curtains went all the way across on wall, held in place by gilded ropes.  
  
"Whoa," the group gasped collectively. "Wipe those shocked looked off your faces! Come on everyone, we go a school of magic, for crying out loud! Professor Dumbledore and I simply added in an extra room for the purposes of show!" Professor McGonagall snapped rather unlike herself. Most likely she was disappointed that she hadn't been picked to participate.  
  
"Okay, well I'm going to leave you here alone now," she said more calmly, "Professor Snape and Professor Sinistra and Professor Lupin are here right now though, so don't get too excited. And Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy and Sirius Black should be arriving any moment also. This is certainly not a free-for- all. When you hear your name called, you will come out on stage through the door next to the curtain. Under no circumstance should you pull the curtain. For the adults, and let me emphasize adults, there is champagne in the mini refrigerators you will find against the back wall. Student, you can help yourselves to Butterbeer. And no, Fred and George, just because you helped organize this does not give you a right to enjoy the champagne. Goodnight then!" At that, she walked out the door, leaving everyone sitting and standing uncomfortably and nervously around the room.  
  
For a second there was complete silence, with only the sound of Hermione biting her nails. Finally, Fred spoke up, "Come on guys, it's just a little game. Don't freak out! Hermione, stop biting your nails. Parvati, that smile is freaking me out. Pansy, I really wish you would stop looking at Draco like that. Professor Snape, giving Lupin the evil glare isn't going to solve your problems. Percy, you look like you're about to pass out, and frankly, you do too Penelope. Ron and Ginny, I didn't know it was possible for you guys to blush so much. Draco, you look like either you want to kill Pansy, or you want to do some very 'interesting' things with her."  
  
No one spoke, but everyone looked over to Fred in awe that he could be so calm. "Now what do you say we help ourselves to some champagne and loosen up a little?" George said calmly, gesturing to the fridges. Professor Snape's head snapped up. "Not a chance. None of you students will be having any champagne tonight. This is a game show, not a free-for-all, and only we adults will be enjoying the champagne. So if you'll excuse me, I think I'll help myself," he said, smirking as he took a bottle of champagne out of the fridge.  
  
Draco stood up and walked over to Professor Snape expectantly. "I'll take some champagne, Professor," he said self-satisfiedly, holding out a fluted glass that he had picked up from the counter by the fridges. Professor Snape looked at him seriously. "No, Mr. Malfoy, you won't," he said, "What would Daddy dearest say if he found out that little Draco had been drinking?"  
  
"He would say," Mr. Malfoy (Lucius) said, walking into the room with Narcissa (his wife, obviously), and Sirius Black walking a safe distance behind, "That Draco would be in serious trouble. That is, on any normal day. But tonight I am going to try to pretend that I don't know him, because I am here to enjoy myself, not baby-sit a whiny brat. So Severus, it is entirely up to you whether or not Draco drinks any champagne."  
  
Draco frowned at his father, but quickly realized that this was actually a good thing, because now he could do whatever he wanted without Mr. Malfoy yelling at him. "So I'll have some now," he said, once again holding out his glass. Professor Snape poured some into his own glass, looked pointedly at Draco, and placed the cork back in the bottle. Draco curled his lip and walked back to his pouf next to Pansy.  
  
Once Professor Snape was done dealing with Draco, he turned his attention to Sirius Black. "Black," he snarled, looking daggers at him. If Severus Snape had given the same look to Neville, Neville might have started crying. But Sirius Black just took it in stride. "Sevvie! Long time no see! How's life? How's Lucius? How's the champagne?" he asked, laughing. Since his name had been cleared, his personality was virtually the same as the Maurauder he had been years ago.  
  
At this comment, Lucius gave him a glare that rivaled Snape's, Draco frowned at the mention of champagne, and Professor Snape looked at him with a loathing that was very similar to the way he loathed Harry. "Oh come on, Sev, loosen up! It's only Blind Date! The worst thing that could happen would be that you'd end up going to the dance with Hermione! Or Lucius, but I suppose that wouldn't be a problem, would it?" Sirius grinned, causing Snape to squeeze his champagne glass so hard almost everyone in the room thought it was going to break.  
  
Hermione, however, didn't laugh. She was taking the whole thing very seriously, and getting paired with Professor Snape would be her worst nightmare. Snape didn't seem to look happy either, but that wasn't just because he didn't want to be paired with his most annoying student. "Let's get a few things straight, Black," Snape snapped, running a hand trough his greasy hair, "Number one, my name is not Sevvie or Sev. I don't do the nickname thing. Number two, I don't know why it is that you seem to enjoy talking about me and Lucius, but it is completely ridiculous. I don't like him, he doesn't like me, and he is married. Number three, the day I go to a dance with Hermione Granger will be the day I ask Harry Potter for his autograph. So if you could do all of us a favor and shut up, I would really appreciate it."  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes and sat down with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. After greeting Harry, he turned his attention to Hermione. "You look terrified, Mione! What's the matter?" he asked, giving her a hug. Hermione's lip was quivering. "This could be the night I find out who my soulmate is! And- and- what is I don't even like him?" she asked, biting her nails some more. Harry and Ron looked from her to Sirius, waiting for one of them to say something else. "Don't worry, Mione," he said, smiling, "If you don't like the person you get paired with, then it messed up. If you do, great! But it's not going to determine who you spend the rest of your life with unless you let it. Besides, you'll probably end up with Harry or Ron! Relax and have fun, okay?"  
  
Hermione nodded, and looked from Harry to Ron slightly happier. In good spirits, Sirius went off to get a glass of champagne and sit next to Lupin. As best friends, they had a lot of catching up to do. Hermione perked up a little more as Parvati and Lavender walked over. "Hey Mione," Lavender said, holding back laughter, "You'll never guess what Parvati just said!" Parvati blushed, but didn't look too fazed. "What?" Hermione asked curiously, looking at Parvati. "I said," she whispered, laughing, "that Sirius Black looks totally hot!" Hermione smiled (finally), much to Harry and Ron's relief.  
  
"I heard that!" Professor Snape said, rolling his eyes, "And that is totally inappropriate!" Sirius nodded and rolled his eyes. "Totally," he said imitating Professor Snape. But to the amusement of Hermione, Lavender, and Parvati, he winked at them. Harry and Ron sighed. "I will never understand girls," Ron said, shaking his head. "I will never understand how girls understand guys," Harry said in agreement. "I will never understand how girls understand how guys don't understand girls," Ron said, looking around the room. "I will never understand how girls understand how guys don't understand how girls don't understand guys," Harry said seriously, "What the heck did I just say?"  
  
At that moment, Fred and George Weasley walked over to them. "You know what I don't understand?" George asked Harry and Ron. They both shook their heads. "I don't understand," Fred said laughingly, "how guys are willing to waste their time trying to understand girls when they know it is pointless and they should be spending their time wondering who they'll be paired with!"  
  
Ron and Harry were about to try to respond when Lee Jordan's magically magnified voice echoed throughout the room. "And without further ado, let's call out our first group!" he said, sounding excited, "Would Hermione Granger, Angelina Johnson, Ginny Weasley, Pansy Parkinson, Parvati Patil, and Penelope Clearwater please report to the stage?" 


	7. The CoHost

A/N: The pairings will be posted after the show is over. Thanks to everyone who reviewed for reviewing! I'm sorry if this show isn't exactly like blind date, but that would take way too long to write every person like that. So it's a questiony, answery, thoughbubbley kind of thing. And if the set up of the show in the next chappie when it's asking the questions is annoying to you, I'm sorry because I can be a lazy bum at times. Oh yeah, and this chapter is only short because otherwise it would be too long. Don't worry the next chapter will be better.  
  
Hermione stopped biting her nails and stood up. She, Parvati, and Ginny walked together to the door. Angelina walked right behind them, with Penelope following behind her. Pansy gave Draco a good-bye kiss, got up, and followed the other girls out the door. The six walked out onstage to the loud cheering of the huge crowd of people. Hermione, Ginny, and Penelope looked very nervous. Angelina looked confident and happy. Parvati looked very confident, and was throwing kisses to the crowd. And Pansy was looking smug and happy.  
  
"Welcome to Hogwarts edition of Blind Date!" Lee said, grinning at the girls, "Now if you would all take your seats in the red chairs to my left, we can get on with it!" They did as they were told, and Lee Jordan continued, "Of course, I can't start asking questions of you girls until I bring out my co-host! So I'd like you all to take a stab at who you think it is. I'm sure you're just as curious as our audience is, so don't draw things out. To help you in your guess, let me tell you that my co-host is NOT someone participating in the show. Now each of you will take a guess in alphabetical order by hair color! Only kidding, we're going to go in order of the way you're sitting in your semi circle: Penelope, Angelina, Parvati, Hermione, Ginny, and Pansy. Go ahead!"  
  
Penelope guessed Professor Snape. She was so nervous that she couldn't think straight. If she had been able to, she would have realized that Professor Snape was appearing on the show, so it couldn't be him. Angelina guessed Hagrid, which was totally logical. Parvati guessed Bill Weasley because he's hot. Hermione guessed Neville, which would be interesting considering he might forget who the contestants were. Ginny guessed Harry, because she, like Penelope, was a nervous wreck and couldn't think straight. Pansy suggested Draco, saying "he was so hot that he deserved to be both host and contestant."  
  
"Great!" Lee Jordan said, "And surprisingly, one of you is right! Let's bring out my cool, older co-host--- BILL WEASLEY!!!!!!" At those words, Bill, with his ponytail and fang earring, walked onstage and stood next to Lee. The crowd was screaming, and both Parvati and Pansy were practically drooling. "Hey everyone," Bill Weasley said, waving to the crowd, "What's up! I'm so glad to be here. But that's not the point. We have six gorgeous girls sitting up here waiting for their moment of truth. And they have a long wait, quite frankly. So let's get this show on the road!"  
  
Lee spoke up then, "But before we do, let me just remind you that although this show may seem like it makes no sense, I can assure that it does! And also, it may seem shallow, and well, it is a little shallow, but it seems in the past to have been fairly accurate, so forget about that! And now, what would this lovely group of girls be without a group of guys? We have to question two groups at once because of time, but don't worry. You won't necessarily be paired with someone from the group your group goes with. So would Draco Malfoy, Oliver Wood, Sirius Black, Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, and Ron Weasley please report to the stage? "  
  
The six nervous girls looked as Draco, Oliver, Sirius, Lucius, Snape, and Ron walked onto the stage and sat in a semi circle in the blue chairs next to the girls' red chairs. Pansy waved to Draco and batted her eyelashes as Draco waved back. Mr. Malfoy rolled his eyes. Ron was looking at Hermione and trying very hard not to faint. His skin had already gone two shades paler than it should be. Sirius Black and 'Sevvie' Snape were glaring at each other, and Parvati was looking at Sirius. Just about everyone else was looking very nervous.  
  
"Alright, well I see that everyone's a little nervous," Bill said, taking in everyone's tense faces, "Not to worry- that's nothing a good spell can't fix!" With a flick of his wand, instant relief flashed over everyone's faces. "I really needed that," Ron whispered to Oliver, who nodded. Penelope was whispering something along the same lines to Angelina, and Hermione had stopped biting her nails again and was talking to Parvati and a much happier-looking Ginny.  
  
"Okay contestants, I'm sorry, but I have to put another little spell on you," Bill said, "I'll take it off in one second." He waved his wand and instantly all 12 people sitting in the chairs looked like they had fallen asleep. "Now audience," Lee spoke up, addressing the screaming crowd, "the reason Bill put that spell on them is so that we could tell you this very important piece of information. Professor Dumbledore has given us permission to do a thoughtbubble spell. When we ask everyone their questions, they will answer. If the answer they give is not what they are thinking, then a thought bubble with what they are thinking will pop up above their heads for the audience, as well as the other contestants, to read. No one will be able to see their own thought bubble, or stop their real thoughts from appearing in it. (A/N: thoughtbubble writing will be italicized) So with that said- Ennervate!"  
  
The contestants woke up, oblivious to what had just happened. "Are we going to get started?" Parvati asked, looking at Bill and blushing. Bill nodded. "Let's go!" he said, nodding to Lee to ask the first question. 


	8. The First Group

A/N- If you forgot from the chapter before, Bill put that thoughtbubble spell on them, and for your amusement their thoughts will be conveniently italicized. Also, in case you didn't know, Bill and Lee can see what is in everyone's thought bubbles, and the thought bubbles only show up when it is something interesting.  
  
Lee- Audience, are you ready?  
  
Audience (Hagrid, Neville, Colin and Dennis, etc.)- YEAH!!!!!!  
  
Lee- Okay then! Should I ask the first question, Bill?  
  
Bill- I thought I told you to do that already.  
  
Lee- Right then. Let's go to the ladies first, okay Bill?  
  
Bill- Yes that's FINE, Lee! Stop asking me questions like I'm your idol! Just ask the girls a question!  
  
Audience- YEAH!!!!!!  
  
Lee- Okay, fine. This is for you: Penelope, Angelina, Parvati, Hermione, Ginny, and Pansy. The first question. This will take you one step closer to finding your perfect match- and your date to the dance! So what do you all think the question is going to be?  
  
Bill- Lee, shut up! This is not a Quidditch match, and we are not trying to make everyone suffer. Stop stalling for time and ask the first question.  
  
Lee- FINE! Girls, the first question. What is the most outrageous thing you have ever done?  
  
Snape- Oh that's an easy one! You should ask them something harder! Damn I hope I don't get a question like that.  
  
Bill- Thanks for your advice Professor Snape. But you will be getting plenty of questions like that. Now let's start with Penelope. What is the most outrageous thing you've ever done?  
  
Penelope- Well, that would have to be the time when I got caught kissing Percy Weasley in a classroom.  
  
Ron- EW! You kissed my brother? Percy? That prat kissed someone?  
  
Penelope- Actually yes, and he was- umm- never mind. He was a very good kisser. Mmm.  
  
Bill- Well I'm sure my brother would be honored to hear you think that.  
  
Draco- Perfect Weasel would be honored to hear a tree say he was a good kisser.  
  
Lee- That's enough, all. Let's go to contestant number two! Angelina Johnson, Chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team! She went with Fred to the Yule Ball during the Triwizard Tournament, has been on the team for forever, and is a spectacular flyer! She's also not half-bad looking!  
  
Angelina blushed, and Parvati to her left laughed at her. Had Fred been in this round, he would have been blushing too. Draco Malfoy, Oliver Wood, Sirius Black, Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, and Ron Weasley  
  
Bill- Once again, Lee, you've got a mouth bigger than Percy's head. Go ahead, Angelina. What have you done?  
  
Angelina- Okay. Well, in the very beginning of this year, we had our first Quidditch game. And afterwards, the team had a huge party to celebrate. It went way late into the night, and then afterwards Oliver said it would be cool if we went out flying.  
  
Oliver- Did not!  
  
Angelina- Did too, Oliver! Whatever. Well Harry didn't want to go, so Alicia, Katie, Fred, George, Oliver, and I went out flying in the pitch black at 12:30 midnight. We had to have flown for almost two hours. It was great. But then we went to go back in, and the door to the Great Hall was locked. We were all too tired to think straight. If we could have we would have realized that we're wizards and could have just used magic, but we were being really stupid. Anyway, we decided to sleep outside. So the most outrageous thing I've ever done was sleeping out by the entrance to the Forbidden Forest on top of one of Hagrid's giant blankets that we "borrowed" from his hut and that the entire Quidditch team besides Harry shared.  
  
Oliver- Angelina, that did not happen!  
  
Angelina- Yes it did and you know it! Why don't you just admit it!  
  
Oliver- I will not! Like I would admit to sharing a blanket with the entire Quidditch team? I can't believe she would tell about that!  
  
Lee- Thank you Oliver, but nobody cares. Wow Angelina, I'm surprised!  
  
Angelina- Well, everyone is surprised at one point or another. Lee doesn't know the half of it. Like that I was sleeping right next to one of his best friends. Fred Weasley is so hot. I just love that ponytail!  
  
Bill- Angelina! You slept next to my little brother?!  
  
Angelina- How- how- how did you know?  
  
Lee- It was the-  
  
Bill- Thank you Lee! It was the fact that I'm a good guesser, Angelina.  
  
Ron- EW! You slept next to my brother? Fred? Wow, I'm shocked! Well, only at you, not Fred, but-  
  
Angelina- Ronnie, now is not the time to talk about my relationship with Fred and your opinion of it.  
  
Ron- Don't call me Ronnie!  
  
Bill- Right then everyone, let's move on to our next contestant. Lee- Parvati Patil, we all know you've done some outrageous things! Let's hear the most outrageous of them!  
  
Draco- Is this show censored?  
  
Parvati- Draco, who gave you the right to comment?  
  
Sirius- Good question! Who did?  
  
Lee- Yeah Malfoy, no one asked you!  
  
Bill- Okay everyone, back off. We all think Draco is scum, but he has just as much of a right as everyone else does to comment. So Parvati, if you could please tell everyone your outrageous moment?  
  
Hermione looked over at Parvati, holding back laughter. Pansy glared at them both, afraid that they would upstage her. Oliver was also looking at Parvati and trying not to laugh. The girl had a slight reputation. Professor Snape was staring at her, eyes narrowed.  
  
Snape- Mr. Malfoy is right, Miss Patil. This is a censored show, or should at least be treated as such.  
  
Parvati- Draco, Professor, I think maybe you guys are just afraid of what I'm going to tell everyone!  
  
Sirius- You know, she could be right, Sevvie. You didn't have to say that-  
  
Draco- WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!?  
  
Parvati- Don't hyperventilate, honey. I was just kidding.  
  
Bill- And thank God for that. Alright, though, we all need to hear your embarrassing moment.  
  
Audience- YEAH!!!!!!  
  
Lee- This should be interesting!  
  
Parvati- Yes, it should be. The most outrageous thing I've ever done was have like an hour long snog session in the teachers' room wardrobe.  
  
Snape- Students are not allowed in there! 50 points from Gryff-  
  
Bill- Hold it Professor, Dumbledore said that no points can be taken for admitting to something on this show. And WOW Parvati. Who was you lucky snog partner?  
  
Parvati- No one special! It was just Lee Jordan. Who knew he was such a good snogger!  
  
Sirius- Damn, Lee Jordan is lucky!  
  
Lee- Yes Sirius, I know I'm lucky. Parvati- Lee, you're not supposed to spill the secrets of the contestants!  
  
Lee- I didn't, you did!  
  
Parvati- How could I have done that?  
  
Bill- There is no way. We are all just good guessers, okay?  
  
Lee- Yeah, very good guessers. But we're better at other things.  
  
Parvati- I don't think anyone said that the hosts could seduce the contestants.  
  
Lee- Hey, I make the rules, I break the rules.  
  
Angelina- That was a lame line, Jordan. How desperate are you?  
  
Bill- Angelina is right, Lee. You can't try to get dates on this show, because you're the host. Sorry.  
  
Lee- That's not fair! Why did my best friends make it so that now I have to work doubly hard to get a date to the Spring Ball?  
  
Angelina- Probably so you wouldn't be able to steal their girlfriends!  
  
Lee- Me? Steal? Never!  
  
Bill- Okay Lee, that's enough. We are the hosts because we have the power, and since I'm older, I have more power. And therefore I say that you better shut up before I put a silencing charm on you and then let everyone read your thoughts.  
  
Lee- Yes, sir! Okay fine. Oh, would you look at that! Our next contestant is Hermione Granger! This should be a contrast to Parvati! I'm surprised you guys are even friends; you couldn't be any more different! But just the same, let's hear your most outrageous thing!  
  
Hermione- What is that supposed to mean?  
  
Lee- Nothing, nothing Mione. Don't freak, I was just stating a fact of life.  
  
Draco- You left out that crucial bit about maybe she doesn't do anything outrageous because her hair makes it very difficult to get through doors and things.  
  
Hermione- Shut up, Malfoy. I actually do have an outrageous moment.  
  
Draco- Prove that to me and everyone else, Granger. Tell us what it is.  
  
Hermione- No. I won't.  
  
Bill- Listen Hermione, we respect your privacy and all, but how are we supposed to find your perfect match if we can't even hear your outrageous moment?  
  
Parvati- Bill's right, Mione. You should just suck it up and say it. It can't be any more embarrassing than mine. Ron- Yeah, go on, Hermione! Say it! We all are dying to know!  
  
Hermione- Yeah Ron, I'm sure you are dying to know.  
  
Draco- Weasley is only dying to know because that way he knows what he ought to do to win you over.  
  
Ron- Do not!  
  
Draco- Do too!  
  
Snape- Am I the only one on this show with a brain? No one cares about Weasley and Malfoy arguing over Miss Granger. We all just want to know the answers to the questions!  
  
Malfoy- Professor! I would never fight with Weasley over Granger!  
  
Hermione- Good, because you would lose!  
  
Ron- Yeah Malfoy, you would lose! Hey he would lose! Does that mean Hermione likes me? WHOA!  
  
Bill- Slow down little brother. She still hasn't shared her outrageous moment.  
  
Hermione- Right. And I really do want to find my perfect match, so I guess I'll just suck it up.  
  
Parvati- Good for you, Mione.  
  
Hermione- Yeah. Well I guess my most outrageous thing ever was daydreaming about making out with-  
  
Draco- Dreaming about? What, are you too scared to actually act on it?  
  
Ron- Shut up Malfoy. Bugger him, Hermione, who?  
  
Snape- Who cares? It was a stupid daydream! How outrageous can it get?  
  
Sirius- You know Sev, you should lighten up a little. I've had very outrageous daydreams.  
  
Snape- I don't want to know. Don't tell me.  
  
Sirius- I wouldn't dream of it.  
  
Bill- Fantastic. I can't wait to ask the guys their questions. Now let Hermione finish. Go ahead, Mione.  
  
Hermione- I was making out with Draco Malfoy, and then Professor Snape came in and gave me a detention and I started making out with him. The scary part was that I said daydream and not nightmare.  
  
Draco- ME! MAKE OUT WITH A MUDBLOOD? Please, a Malfoy would never do such a thing. Lucius- Damn right, son. We have- higher standards.  
  
Pansy- I know all about that, sir.  
  
Draco- Sshh.  
  
Lucius- Don't worry, Draco, Pansy is a perfectly suitable girlfriend for you.  
  
Pansy- Thank you sir.  
  
Snape- THAT IS AN OUTRAGE! A STUDENT SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO HAVE SUCH DREAMS!  
  
Sirius- Sevvie, you should be flattered that Hermione thinks of you as more than an insignificant speck.  
  
Snape- I'd rather like to flatten your head.  
  
Ron- SHUT UP, PROFESSOR! Hermione, tell me please that you didn't enjoy the dream.  
  
Hermione- No, Ron, of course I didn't. Well, okay, so maybe Draco was sort of sexy in my dream, and ditto to Professor Snape, but it was just a dream.  
  
Ron- HERMIONE! EW!  
  
Hermione- Honestly Ron, I'd rather have had it been you.  
  
Ron- Really?  
  
Bill- Ron, stop being easy. Thank you Mione, let's move on.  
  
Lee- Yeah Bill, let's move on to little Ginny Weasley! What is your most outrageous moment, honey?  
  
Ron- Easy Lee, she doesn't have one. The most outrageous thing she's ever done is get butter on her elbow.  
  
Lee- Really Ginny, you've never done anything outrageous?  
  
Ron- Really.  
  
Ginny- Actually, I have.  
  
Hermione- What? What did you do?  
  
Ron- I'd like to know that myself!  
  
Bill- Me too, I'm really curious.  
  
Draco- Spit it out, Weasley. Ginny- I- um- I played-  
  
Draco- Let me guess. You played Barbies with Mudblood Granger?  
  
Ginny- No, actually I played strip poker with Harry and Oliver and Katie.  
  
Ron- WHAT?  
  
Ginny- You heard me!  
  
Ron- WHAT?  
  
Ginny- I. played. strip poker. with Harry. and Oliver and Katie.  
  
Lee- WOW! Ginny Weasley is all grown up! Now tell me, Ginny, are you a good poker player?  
  
Ron- You better say yes!  
  
Ginny- Actually I'm awful. I'd never played before.  
  
Ron- WHAT?  
  
Ginny- Get over it, Ron. I am a big girl, and I had a great time. I think.  
  
Lee- What do you mean "you think"?"  
  
Draco- I think I know what she means.  
  
Ron & Hermione- SHUT UP!  
  
Lee- Go on, Draco.  
  
Draco- Ginny, was that the night of the Christmas Party?  
  
Oliver- Yes it was, why?  
  
Draco- Did you guys by any chance sneak into the kitchens to get something to eat?  
  
Ginny- Probably.  
  
Oliver- Yeah, I think we did.  
  
Draco- Well, Pansy and I spiked all the drinks down there when we were really bored that night.  
  
Ron- DAMN YOU MALFOY! YOU GOT MY LITTLE SISTER DRUNK!?  
  
Ginny- It was no big deal, Ron. Harry was definitely more drunk than me.  
  
Ron- YOU GOT MY SISTER AND MY BEST FRIEND DRUNK!?  
  
Hermione- Wow.  
  
Parvati- High five, Ginny!  
  
Snape- This show stinks.  
  
Sirius- Lighten up, Sev. This is tons of fun!  
  
Bill- I'm disgusted Malfoy. You are a moron. But all the same, it's time for our final girl. Pansy Parkinson.  
  
Lee- So Pansy. I'm almost afraid to ask from that look on Draco's face.  
  
Lucius- What do you mean by that, Jordan. I'm sure there is nothing to be afraid of.  
  
Lee- Great. Well then, Pansy, what is your most outrageous moment?  
  
Pansy- Are you sure I'm not allowed to lie?  
  
Bill- You can lie, but everyone else will know the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so it's hardly worth it.  
  
Draco- Damn.  
  
Pansy- Okay, fine. My most outrageous moment is when- when-  
  
Sirius- Remember, like Draco and Sevvie said- this is a censored show!  
  
Pansy- Then I guess I shouldn't say it. (laughs)  
  
Lee- No, this show isn't really censored. You might as well just say it before we see you think it.  
  
Pansy- Alright then. My most outrageous moment is when Draco and I had a sleepover in the Astronomy Tower on New Year's Eve.  
  
Draco- Damn.  
  
Lucius- WHAT?  
  
Ron- See, that is such a fun word to say.  
  
Lucius- What is she talking about, Draco?  
  
Draco- Sorry?  
  
Lucius- You are a complete idiot, and very bad.  
  
Pansy- Actually sir, he's very good.  
  
Draco- Thanks.  
  
Hermione- Ew! That is so gross!  
  
Draco- Get over it.  
  
Pansy- She'll have a hard time.  
  
Lucius- Damn.  
  
Snape- Your son is extremely stupid, Lucius.  
  
Sirius- Well Sevvie, we'll see who is stupider in the next round.  
  
Bill- That's right! We'll be right back after these commercial messages! 


	9. Interesting Ideal Dates

A/N- Hey all! Sorry about the whole italics thing, apparently they don't show up. This time the thoughts will be underlined and with [brackets] around them. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully this chappie will take me less time to write, last time I was trying to fit it in with studying for like 5 tests including an impossible algebra quiz, and having 15 page IMs with my crush. Anywayz, I'm back to writing now, and I'm still open to suggestions on who should go with who! Keep reading! Oh yeah, and please excuse my Lucius and Sevvie jokes. I will try to stop but it's just funny.  
  
Bill- Lee, I said COMMERCIAL MESSAGES! What do those words mean to you? Move it, go, you're in charge of the commercials!  
  
Lee- Okay, Bill! Hello audience, how are you enjoying Blind Date?  
  
Audience- YEAH!!!!!!!  
  
Lee- Good! Now are there any pretty girls in the audience who would be interested in going on a date with me to the dance?  
  
Audience- YEAH!!!!!!!  
  
Lee- Great! Come see me at the Gryffy table in the Great Hall tomorrow at breakfast! I'll be-  
  
Bill- Lee, are you being paid to advertise yourself?  
  
Lee- Actually I'm not being paid at all.  
  
Bill- Sucks for you! I am!  
  
Lee- Well-  
  
Bill- Unless you want to be fired, stop advertising and start the game back again!  
  
Lee- Yes sir. Okay audience! We are back to the show! This time we will be asking the guys of the first group some questions! Draco Malfoy, Oliver Wood, Sirius Black, Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, and Ron Weasley, it is your turn! And as for my girls, you will be sitting in your chairs having a good laugh at the boys!  
  
Bill- Thank you Lee. Now boys, are you ready for your question?  
  
Ron- No thank you, Bill.  
  
Bill- Great! Get excited, because we have a great question for you!  
  
Lee- Is it great, Bill?  
  
Bill- Are you undermining my authority?  
  
Lee- No!  
  
Bill- Good. Well actually, I can't wait to hear the answers to this question. This should be fun!  
  
Lee- Should it, Bill?  
  
Bill- Lee, has anyone ever told you what an annoying prat you are?  
  
Lee- Has anyone ever told you that I get to stay at your house with Gred and Forge for part of the summer?  
  
Sirius- Shut down!  
  
Bill- Thanks, Sirius. And without further ado, let's have the question! Take it, Lee Jordan!  
  
Lee- Are you sure YOU don't want to announce it?  
  
Bill- LEE!  
  
Lee- Alright, alright. Boys, your question is- Describe your ideal date, and give the initials of the person you would most like it to be with.  
  
Hermione- WHAT? That is so unfair; our question was so much harder.  
  
Draco- That's what you get for being a know-it-all mudblood.  
  
Hermione glared at him, and he glared back. Sirius was grinning at all the tension. He was really having a blast, and getting on Sevvie's nerves was an added plus. Parvati thought this was totally unfair also. She had told about snogging Lee Jordan in the teacher's wardrobe. The boys deserved something harder so that they could all have a good laugh. "Oh come on, Bill," Parvati said, touching her tongue to her lip, "Please can't you just add something to it that would make it just a little harder?"  
  
Bill sighed. He was a sucker for girls like Parvati. The only problem was that he really didn't have another question for this group. As he was thanking god for his nice, baggy, dark blue jeans, he told this to Parvati. Parvati shrugged. "Well okay," she said, "but you owe me." Bill cracked a smile. Hosting this game show wasn't so bad.  
  
Bill- Well there you have it. I believe we are going to go in a cool random order this time. Lucius Malfoy, Oliver Wood, Draco Malfoy, Sirius Black, Severus Snape, and then Ron Weasley, my little brother!  
  
Ron- Why am I last, Bill?  
  
Draco- Because you're a loser.  
  
Bill- No Ron, it's because I felt like making you last. Okay? Now stop whining. Lucius Malfoy, you're up! What is your ideal date, and then give the initials!  
  
Lucius- This is so undignified.  
  
Draco- Scared, father?  
  
Lucius- Of course not.  
  
Sirius- Then go!  
  
Lucius- Alright then. My ideal date would be to go to an expensive restaurant and order an expensive meal. Then we would Apparate back to my house, where we would enjoy expensive champagne and make sport of some muggles.  
  
Lee- Is that everything, sir, before you give us the initials?  
  
Lucius- Yes. [Actually, I left out that we would spend an outrageous night together, and I would buy a particularly expensive new bed for the occasion]  
  
Draco- FATHER!  
  
Sirius- Too much information, buddy. Besides, I always thought of Sevvie as a low budget kind of guy.  
  
Snape- I'd really rather like to knock you out.  
  
Lee- Oh lighten up, Professor. Now Mr. Malfoy, what are the initials of the person you would most like this date to be with? And please try to use the initials of a girl?  
  
Sirius- Right Lucius, because if I hear you say S.S. I would certainly die laughing.  
  
Snape- Right, because I would wring your neck.  
  
Lucius- The initials are N.M. Are you happy? [I was very tempted to say P.P. My son has quite good taste]  
  
Draco- FATHER!  
  
Pansy- Ew.  
  
Lucius- Yes, well I did say N.M. first. Now that is enough. If I am not mistaken, it is Mr. Wood's turn.  
  
Bill- You are correct, Mr. Malfoy. Oliver! Ideal date and initials, please.  
  
Oliver- Right then, Bill. My ideal date would be to fly on the same broom with my date all over the place, and then have a lunch in Hogsmeade at The Three Broomsticks, and then ride again back to Hogwarts where we would snog for awhile.  
  
Lee- Aw, how romantic!  
  
Draco- What do you mean by 'ride', Oliver?  
  
Oliver- You have a sick mind, Malfoy.  
  
Lee- You really do. But Oliver, you aren't done. Can I please have some initials?  
  
Oliver- Sure, why not? That would be K.B.  
  
Angelina- Oh, who could that be, Oliver? You want to go for a ride with one of our very own Chasers? I think that you guys would make the cutest couple! Can I tell her? Please?  
  
Oliver- Not a chance, Ang.  
  
Lee- That's great, Oliver. Rather boring, but great. Good luck to you, and without further ado, our next contestant, Slytherin's own Draco Malfoy!  
  
Draco- Oh joy.  
  
Lucius- Scared?  
  
Draco- You wish.  
  
Bill- Good, because we are all dying to know what your ideal date would be, and the initials!  
  
Sirius- Now don't disappoint Daddy; make sure you give us the truth!  
  
Pansy- Like Draco would do anything but?  
  
Snape- Shut up, you should speak before we hear what he has to say.  
  
Pansy- Shut up, you're next Professor.  
  
Lee- If you would both shut up, Draco is going to answer the question.  
  
Draco- Okay then. My ideal date would be to go Hogsmeade and stay in the Three Broomsticks all afternoon drinking champagne. Then we could go back to the Slytherin common room and- well, that's it!  
  
Bill- Wait, no it isn't!  
  
Draco- Liar! [So I left out the part where we have a snog fest and then sleep over in the common room. Big bloody deal. I mean that as in big deal. Not bloody deal. I mean bloody in the sense of bloody hell, not bloody blood. Right then, I'm done]  
  
Lee- That was just hilarious. Completely hilarious. I'm dying of laughter.  
  
Bill- You really are!  
  
Lee- Right, well as I try not to choke to death, Draco, could you please give us the initials.  
  
Sirius- And don't slip up and say something you wouldn't like us to know!  
  
Draco- What goes on in your head, Black?  
  
Snape- I don't want to know.  
  
Sirius- Then I won't tell you.  
  
Bill- Stop buying time, Draco. Draco- Fine. The initials are P.P.  
  
Hermione- As in Pansy Parkinson or as in Parvati Patil?  
  
Parvati- Ew!  
  
Draco- Don't flatter yourself.  
  
Hermione- Who did you mean?  
  
Draco- I believe all I had to give was initials.  
  
Pansy- What do you mean by that, Draco?  
  
Draco- I mean that I enjoy getting on Hermione's nerves. We all know who I meant.  
  
Hermione- You're infuriating!  
  
Draco- Thank you.  
  
Sirius- I remember when I was your age the girl I loved annoying was the girl I had a huge crush on.  
  
Lucius- You liked every girl in school, Sirius.  
  
Sirius- Better than liking every guy.  
  
Lucius- WILL YOU SHUT UP!?  
  
Sirius- Nope, I'm making a point. Are you getting my drift, Draco?  
  
Draco- No.  
  
Sirius- Let me rephrase. Usually, the person who you constantly annoy is the one you actually like.  
  
Draco- EW! Are you accusing me of liking Granger?  
  
Sirius- Who's accusing?  
  
Hermione- Sirius, please. That is the most disgusting thought ever.  
  
Lucius- Yes it is. Stop filling my son's head with nonsense like that. Oh, and Sirius- you're constantly annoying Severus, you know.  
  
Snape- That is sincerely disgusting.  
  
Sirius- That would sincerely disgust me, except for that I don't care because I already know that I like someone and it is a girl, and it isn't Severus.  
  
Snape- That's good to know.  
  
Lee- Yes it is, because who would like Professor Snape?  
  
Snape- I am certain I could name a few people who might.  
  
Draco- Please don't, Professor. I just ate.  
  
Bill- Okay everyone, that's enough. Sirius Black, you are up! What is your ideal date, and then give us those initials!  
  
Sirius- Cool!  
  
Snape- Can I be excused?  
  
Sirius- Don't be such a baby, Sev.  
  
Lee- Stop fighting and start talking, Sirius.  
  
Sirius- I'm on it. Okay. Well first my date and I would fly to Hogsmeade. There, we would go to Honeydukes and pig out for a while. Then we could go to Zonko's and get all this cool joke stuff and play pranks on everyone. After that, we would go to the Three Broomsticks for a drink. Finally, we would go to a party where I could show her off to everyone, and before the night was over we would have snogged for at least an hour or two.  
  
Angelina- Wow, that sounds like something Fred or George would say! Are you sure you're almost 30? (A/N: Yes, he is almost 30. I don't know how old he really is, but I say he's 30, even though he's probably older. Okay? Okay.0  
  
Parvati- That sounds amazing! I want to go on that date with someone!  
  
Lee- I'd be willing, Parvati!  
  
Parvati- Thanks Lee, but we're just friends now, remember?  
  
Lee- Dang.  
  
Bill- Stop trying to get dates, Lee! I told you that that wasn't allowed! Now Sirius, can I please have the initials of the person that you would like to go on that date with?  
  
Sirius- P.P., Bill.  
  
Pansy- Ew! You want to date ME?  
  
Sirius- No you moron, don't you know that there is more than one P.P. in this show?  
  
Parvati- Oh!  
  
Lee- Keep your skirt on, Parvati. We're not done yet, and we still don't know very much. We have two contestants left in round one, and we're going to go to- Sevvie Snape!  
  
Sirius- This is going to be good.  
  
Hermione- I can't wait to have this to laugh about.  
  
Ron- Yeah, this would make great blackmail!  
  
Snape- Shut up and let me get on with it so that I can go backstage and drink champagne.  
  
Ron- Yes sir.  
  
Snape- Thank you. My ideal date would be to go to a dance and have a great time. Then we could sleep up in the Astronomy tower. And the person I was with would have to have a personality of her own and be able to shoot back insults at me. The end.  
  
Ron- You didn't say the initials Professor.  
  
Snape- Damn right I didn't. It's none of your damn business.  
  
Bill- Sorry, but it is. Say it or we will find out what you're thinking.  
  
Snape- Fine. Fine, but please don't kill me. N.M.  
  
Lucius- THAT IS MY WIFE! HANDS OFF, SNAPE!  
  
Sirius- Just look at that chemistry.  
  
Snape- Shut up. I have no plans to act on it. [Please, like I would ever date Narcissa Malfoy? I only said her because I couldn't say anyone else. A.S. and make an ass of myself? Or H.G. and get myself arrested? Ew, Hermione Granger? Where did that ever come from? I'm so through drinking champagne.]  
  
Ron- Professor, how many glasses of champagne did you have?  
  
Snape- Quite a few, Weasley, don't worry. You don't have competition.  
  
Lee- Wow, that was interesting. Well, we are down to our last contestant in round one. So here he is, last but not least, Ron Weasley!  
  
Ron- Yup, here I am, so can I go now?  
  
Bill- Not a chance, Ron.  
  
Angelina- Oh come on, Ronnie, don't be scared.  
  
Ron- My name is NOT Ronnie.  
  
Angelina- Okay Ronnie.  
  
Lee- Ron, what is your ideal date, and then the initials.  
  
Ron- My ideal date is to go and stay in a resort in the Bahamas. I would really like to go swimming at one of those world famous beaches.  
  
Draco- Leave it to Weasel to have his date in a muggle town.  
  
Sirius- At least he'll be conscious while on his date.  
  
Draco- At least he'll be on a date with someone his own age!  
  
Sirius- At least he won't have competition from his father!  
  
Draco- At least he won't have to pretend to be a teenager!  
  
Sirius- At least he won't have to pretend to be teenager!  
  
Bill- That's enough. Ron, if we could just have the initials please?  
  
Ron- H.G.  
  
Angelina- Oh Ronnie, that is so sweet !  
  
Draco- Right, Weasley wants to go to a muggle town with a mudblood. Well isn't he high class?  
  
Hermione- Bug off, Malfoy!  
  
Draco- Make me, mudblood!  
  
Bill- That's enough! I swear, you guys would knock each other unconscious if we weren't here to stop you. Go backstage and relax, please! 


	10. Nothing New

A/N- Well, the underline didn't show up, but I think the brackets worked well enough. So we'll stick with them. Now here's a short li'l chapter, and I promise the next one will be longer. Pleez review me?  
  
The twelve contestants trooped backstage, some looking happier than others. Ron was grinning like he had just won the lottery, and Hermione was looking very pink. Parvati Patil looked extremely satisfied, and Sirius Black couldn't have been happier. This was exactly his thing. Oliver and Angelina were both smiling in an embarrassed sort of way.  
  
Draco, of course, was looking a combination of murderous and pleased. The effect was quite interesting. Lucius had a similar expression on his face, only without the pleased half. He was glaring an evil glare at all the other contestants who had just gone. Professor Snape looked humiliated and angry, but he just didn't look as evil as the Malfoy family could. It could be that perhaps greasy black hair isn't as sinister looking as clean blond hair.  
  
All the other people waiting in the room were looking at them excitedly as they opened the door. "How was it?" Fred asked happily as he took a swig of Butterbeer. Angelina smiled at him. "It was great!" she said. Oliver laughed. "Well of course she thinks it was great, she didn't have to be humiliated out of her wits!" Professor Snape snapped, sitting back in a pouf with a glass of champagne. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Lighten up, Sevvie!" he said before turning to Fred, "he's just mad because he practically had to say that he liked Hermione. It was either that or Professor Sinistra or Mrs. Malfoy."  
  
"Shut up, Black," Snape said angrily, rolling his eyes. Sirius decided to appease him, and turned to talk to Professor Lupin. Katie Bell and Alicia were talking apprehensively to Angelina. "I'm so nervous," Katie said, managing a weak grin, "What if they ask me who I like?" At this, Oliver looked over at them, and Katie turned two shades of red. "Don't worry, Katie," Angelina said, "When I was just out there, Oliver practically admitted that he liked you."  
  
Percy was sitting with Penelope and Oliver just a table away. "How was it?" he asked nervously, already blushing. Penelope turned even darker thank Katie had, and Oliver had to answer. "It wasn't bad, Perce, don't worry," he laughed. He knew that although he hadn't thought it was bad, Percy would totally freak out. Percy was like that. Perfect Prefect Percy.  
  
While everyone was looking around at each other nervously, embarrassedly, or murderously, Draco had given up trying to decide whether to look happy or sad and was sneaking towards the refrigerator with the champagne in it. "Get me some too, Draco!" the ever-subtle Pansy called across the room. Draco gave her as evil a glare as he could manage against his girlfriend.  
  
Lucius looked over at Draco, who was still attempting to get some. "Professor Snape, you can go ahead and handle this," Lucius said, in the middle of a conversation with his wife, "I don't really think that my job as guest contestant extends to handling my son."  
  
Professor Snape's lip curled unpleasantly. Before anything else could happen, Lee's magically magnified voice echoed once again throughout the room. "Would our second and final group of girls please report to the stage? That would be Cho Chang, Alicia Spinnett, Katie Bell, Lavender Brown, Narcissa Malfoy, Padma Patil, and Aurora Sinistra!" 


	11. The Second Group

A/N- This is another one of those long chappies with the weird dialogue. You gotta love 'em. I know I do! Hope you like it. I'm doing my best with these not quite so major characters who I insist on including. Oh, and for all intensive purposes these people miraculously all already have a thoughtbubble spell on them, although it will not be used much. And please don't criticize my questions, I'm doing my best.  
  
Bill- Welcome, girls! Are you excited?  
  
Cho- Hell yeah!  
  
Lee- Good! Because we are going to ask you a great question! Yes, it is great, eh Bill?  
  
Bill- Are you mocking me?  
  
Lee- Of course not!  
  
Bill- That's what I thought. Now ladies, before you get your question, let's bring out the remaining dudes!  
  
Narcissa- Get on with it already, my nail is chipped!  
  
Lee- What a shame.  
  
Bill- Right. So girls, let me introduce you to your fellow contestants- George and Fred Weasley, Harry Potter, Professor Remus Lupin, Seamus Finnegan, Dean Thomas, and Percy Weasley!  
  
Lee- Bill, have you noticed that there are about six thousand Weasleys on this show?  
  
Bill- There are six, Lee.  
  
Lee- Why are there so many of you?  
  
Bill- I don't know, Lee, why?  
  
Lee- Because your parents-  
  
Bill- Thank you, Lee.  
  
Lee- No, really though! Is the number of kids you have genetically inherited?  
  
Bill- What the heck are you talking about?  
  
Lee- Say if Percy married Penelope. Would they be more likely to have lots of kids because your parents did? And would this be because he inherited the gene for twins or triplets or whatever, or because he inherited a gene that would make him really enjoy- you know-  
  
Percy- Shut up, Lee.  
  
Bill- Yes Lee, please do. Lee- Alright, fine. I will. Now girls, you will be going first. This is the way it works. I ask the question, you answer it, and the other contestants feel free to comment. So do we, of course.  
  
Percy- Oh great. Just great. Fred, George, if I don't die of humiliation, you will certainly lose house points for this.  
  
Fred- Loosen up, Percival. It's just a bit of fun!  
  
George- Yeah, we have absolutely nothing to do with you making a fool of yourself.  
  
Bill- Okay, break it up. You don't even have to go yet, Percy. The girls go first.  
  
Lavender- Cool! Let's go!  
  
Bill- Alright, you heard her Lee, ask the first question!  
  
Lee- Why me?  
  
Bill- Because I said so.  
  
Lee- I hate the fact that you have more power than me.  
  
Bill- Funny how I just love it.  
  
Lee- Alright girls. Your question is- If you were stranded on a desert island and could only bring one thing or person, what or who would you bring and why? Don't say your wand, because on this desert island no magic is able to be used. This is your order: Padma Patil, Cho Chang, Alicia Spinnett, Katie Bell, Narcissa Malfoy, Lavender Brown, and Aurora Sinistra.  
  
Bill- Padma, you get to go first. Who or what and why?  
  
Padma- If I was stranded on a desert island, I would bring your co-host Lee, because he is hot and funny and could definitely take my mind off being stranded. [Not just because of his sense of humor, either]  
  
Lee- Sweet! Want to go with me to the part of the dance that you don't have to go with the person you match up with on this show?  
  
Padma- I'll think about it. [What's there to think about? Yes yes yes!]  
  
Bill- Looks like you finally managed to get a date without going crazy advertising, Lee. But what are you going to do for the first half of the ball?  
  
Lee- Stop trying to burst my bubble, Bill.  
  
Bill- Fine, but don't blame me when you're dancing by yourself.  
  
Fred- He won't, he'll blame his B.O.!  
  
Lee- You're such a good friend, Fred. Fred- I know!  
  
Bill- Enough flirting, you two. It is time for our next contestant, Cho Chang!  
  
Cho- Cool, I guess. I'm the most popular girl in school after all, what do I have to lose?  
  
Harry- A lot.  
  
Cho- You're so right, Harry. But I'm sure I can handle it.  
  
Harry- You're right, I'm sure you can too.  
  
George- Aw, Harry, you're so comforting.  
  
Harry- Thanks, George.  
  
Lee- We're waiting, Cho.  
  
Cho- I think I would bring Harry and Colin Creevey. Harry because he could comfort me if I was sad, and Colin because he's downright weird but so admiring and would make me feel like even though I looked the pits I still looked beautiful. Even if his camera was pointing mostly at the person next to me.  
  
Harry- Would you really bring me, Cho?  
  
Cho- Of course!  
  
Harry- Wow.  
  
Katie- Harry, look at your face! You look like Percy after he found out that Penelope told the whole world that they got caught kissing, only happier!  
  
Percy- Be quiet.  
  
Katie- Sorry Perce, didn't mean to embarrass you.  
  
Percy- Right.  
  
Lee- Right! Moving on to our next contestant, let's call to the stands Alicia Spinnett. Chaser for Quidditch, this Gryffindor sweetheart is best friends with Angelina Johnson and Katie Bell. She rides a Comet Two-Sixty, which isn't quite in the same league as a Firebolt, but a nice broom all the same. With a speed not many brooms can top, the Firebolt-  
  
Bill- Thank you, Lee, but I have to say that you are not allowed to advertise for Firebolts any more than you can advertise yourself. Alicia, if you would answer?  
  
Alicia- Sure. I would bring with me on a deserted island only one thing. One person, actually. And that would be your very own brother, George Weasley.  
  
George- This rocks! Hey Alicia, want to go to the dance?  
  
Alicia- I would say yes, but we don't really have a choice as to who we go with. Bill- Alicia is right, George. But she isn't done answering her question. Why would you take George, Alicia?  
  
Alicia- Can I skip that part?  
  
George- Could this day get any better?  
  
Alicia- Chances are good.  
  
Lee- I hate to ask, but you have to tell us why. Or we will find out another way.  
  
Alicia- Fine! Because he is really funny, really hot, really nice, really strong, really cool, and a really good snogger. Oh yeah, and actually I would also bring a broomstick so we could go flying.  
  
George- I love my life!  
  
Fred- Shut up, George.  
  
Lee- Don't be jealous, Fred. Last round Angelina admitted that she slept right next to you all night after a Quidditch game.  
  
Fred- I feel much better now!  
  
Alicia- That was so much fun, wasn't it?  
  
George- It really was.  
  
Percy- I don't want to know. Don't tell me.  
  
Bill- I seem to be having déjà vu. I'm sure I've heard someone say that before, Percy. Who was that again? Oh yeah, it was Professor Snape!  
  
Lee- Hey, you're right, Bill!  
  
Bill- Duh.  
  
Lee- Be that way. Next up is the beautiful and talented Katie Bell! I bet I know what she'll say. Is it just me, or is this getting to be predictable? I would really like to learn something new. Do you have anything interesting to say, Katie?  
  
Katie- Well, I actually have two answers. But I'd really prefer to only tell you one.  
  
Lee- Nope, that is not an option. The whole purpose of this show is to entertain us hosts, and the audience. So spill!  
  
Katie- Why not. Just don't tell Oliver. The first person I would take would be Oliver, of course, just so that I could have someone who I really, really like there, and we could laugh and kiss all day. The other person is-  
  
Alicia- Spit it out, Katie, we're dying here!  
  
Katie- Professor- Professor Snape. But only because he'd be fun to argue with!  
  
Lee- Come on, Katie; tell us you have some secret love interest in Professor Snape!  
  
Katie- Sorry, but I can honestly say no.  
  
Fred- Well, that's a snore. Oliver will be psyched, though.  
  
Katie- Oh, don't tell him! I'd be so embarrassed!  
  
George- But- but-  
  
Alicia- Come on, guys, she really doesn't want you to.  
  
George- Only for you, Alicia.  
  
Bill- That was so cute. Well, our next contestant is Narcissa Malfoy, the mother of our very own Draco! At the still young age of 30, she should be a very interesting contestant.  
  
Lee- How old is Draco?  
  
Harry- I guess he's fifteen, because he's in my grade, and I'm fifteen.  
  
Lee- Interesting. Very interesting.  
  
Narcissa- What is so interesting?  
  
Lupin- If Lee is anything like Sirius and James and I were like when we were his age, he's figuring out how old you were when Draco was born.  
  
Lee- Damn! You were only fifteen!  
  
Narcissa- Wow, you can do math. That is just so impressive.  
  
Lupin- Hey, wasn't that right around when we did that little game show thing? And the year of the New Year's Party?  
  
Narcissa- I certainly don't remember. Now Lee, what was my question?  
  
Bill- Your question was- If you were stranded on a desert island, who/what would you bring and why?  
  
Narcissa- Okay. I would bring Sevvie Snape, because I've always loved annoying the crap out of him. Or maybe Sirius Black, for the same reason.  
  
Lee- That's interesting. You didn't even pick your own husband.  
  
Narcissa- Are you supposed to be critiquing our answers?  
  
Lee- I do what I want. Narcissa- Good for you. Don't critique.  
  
Lee- I'm sorry. I just think it's interesting that you are married to your husband and yet you chose someone else to bring with you on a deserted island. Why did you marry him in the first place?  
  
Narcissa- Who are you, Rita Skeeter? There is no story here, so you are going to have to get you drama fix elsewhere.  
  
Seamus- This is really interesting, Lee. But I think Lavender is next, so stop interviewing Mrs. Malfoy and get a move on.  
  
Bill- Seamus is right, Lee. You can question Mrs. Malfoy after the show. Lavender Brown, you're up. What/who would you bring to the deserted island and why?  
  
Lavender- Well I would bring all my makeup and clothes in one big suitcase, because then that would count as one thing. And if I can pick two like the other people did, I would definitely pick Seamus.  
  
Seamus- Thanks Lavender.  
  
Fred- Seamus, you're whipped! She picked her makeup first!  
  
Seamus- Right. Why was that, Lavender?  
  
Lavender- So that I could look good for you, honey.  
  
Seamus- Cool.  
  
Fred- *cough* whipped *cough*  
  
Lee- But Lavender, you still didn't tell us why you picked Seamus.  
  
Lavender- Alright then, I picked him because he's so much fun.  
  
Seamus- Thanks.  
  
Bill- Right, well we are down to our last contestant for the girls. Professor Aurora Sinistra, it is your turn.  
  
Aurora- Alright then.  
  
Lee- You have been awfully quiet, Professor. Are you enjoying your time on the show?  
  
Aurora- Depending on who I get paired with, I'm sure I'll be enjoying the Spring Ball more.  
  
Bill- Great. Well, if you were stranded on a desert island, who/what would you bring and why?  
  
Narcissa- This should be interesting.  
  
Aurora- Shut up, Cissa. Unlike you, I have class. If I was married I would pick my husband. I would not pick some random guy who I'd like to have an affair with.  
  
Narcissa- That's good, because no one would ever want to have an affair with you.  
  
Lee- Please ignore Ms. Draco's Mommy. Go ahead and answer the question.  
  
Aurora- All right, I think I would pick Sevvie Snape.  
  
Lee- Interesting. Very interesting. Why?  
  
Aurora- Because I think he'd make things interesting, and I would have fun bugging him.  
  
Narcissa- You copycat!  
  
Lupin- That was pathetic, Cissa.  
  
Narcissa- No one asked for your comments, Lupin.  
  
Lupin- No one asked for yours either!  
  
Bill- Okay everyone, that's enough. We'll be right back with our boys after the break! 


	12. Some Weasley Drama

A/N- After this, there will be a li'l bit of suspense and then- the pairings we've all been waiting for! I'm still open to suggestions, review me!!!!! Oh, and any threats to ground Ginny are not legitimate to be acted upon.  
  
Bill- Lee, after the break means you tell the audience some decent commercials.  
  
Lee- But the audience doesn't care about commercials!  
  
Bill- Well I do, so go!  
  
Lee- Audience, are you having fun?  
  
Audience- YEAH!!!!!!  
  
Lee- Have you ever noticed that all you ever say is yeah?  
  
Audience- YEAH!!!!!!  
  
Lee- Firebolts rule!  
  
Audience- YEAH!!!!!!  
  
Lee- Any of you ladies want to go on a date with my co-host Bill?  
  
Audience- YEAH!!!!!!  
  
Bill- Okay, that is enough commercial messages. You are a crappy co-host, Lee.  
  
Lee- Thank you for your support.  
  
Bill- You are so welcome!  
  
Lee- Now let me introduce to you our final contestants, who will be answering in this order! Let's welcome Dean Thomas, Harry Potter, Fred Weasley, Remus Lupin, George Weasley, Percy Weasley, and Seamus Finnegan!  
  
Percy- This is so unfair.  
  
Fred- But so much fun!  
  
George- I'm having a great time, and I haven't even found out the question yet!  
  
Lee- Wow, there are three Weasleys in this round, there were two in the round before, and one of you is the host! It's crazy! How many of you are there?!  
  
Percy- There are seven of us. Why?  
  
Lee- It's just amazing how many of you there are. I really am curious about the whole genetic inheritance thing.  
  
Bill- Okay Lee, whatever! Just ask the question, why don't you? Lee- I am running out of ideas for questions. Why don't you ask a question?  
  
Bill- No. The audience would prefer it if you ask the questions. Right, audience?  
  
Audience- YEAH!!!!!!  
  
Lee- Well this stinks.  
  
Bill- Stop stalling for time and ask the question.  
  
Lee- Okay, fine. Your question is: What date that you've been on stands out the most in your head and what happened on that date?  
  
Bill- Good one, Lee.  
  
Lee- Is it good, Bill?  
  
Bill- Stop trying to be like me, I'm way too cool.  
  
Lee- You've got a deal. Dean Thomas, you're up first! What date stands out most in your head and why?  
  
Dean- You know, the girls had a much easier question than this. All they had to say was what they would bring on a deserted island with them.  
  
Lee- Would you like to answer both, Dean?  
  
Dean- No, that's okay. I guess my most memorable date would be when I went out with Ginny Weasley in the beginning of the year. We played Truth or Dare with Seamus and Lavender. I had to kiss her for seven minutes straight, no air. It was great. [The fact that Ginny was wearing hardly anything didn't exactly make it bad either]  
  
Percy- WHAT? Ginny?  
  
Fred- Our little Ginny? Truth or Dare and seven minute kisses? I'm so proud!  
  
George- We'll have to congratulate her after we ground her for the rest of her life.  
  
Bill- Why does every conflict have a Weasley involved?  
  
Lee- Because your parents-  
  
Bill- Thank you Lee. Next, we go to Harry Potter. How about it, Harry? What crazy date story do you have to share with us?  
  
Harry- I hate you Fred and George.  
  
Fred- We love you too, Harry.  
  
George- Don't worry, Harry, the worst you can do is end up tarnishing your rep! It's nothing a game of Quidditch against Slytherin wouldn't heal.  
  
Harry- I guess you're right. My most memorable date was with Ginny when we played strip poker with Oliver and Katie. I don't remember too much of it, but I know we were all horrible poker players.  
  
Percy- WHAT? Ginny?  
  
Fred- So now she plays strip poker? This is amazing!  
  
George- She's taking after us! I'm touched. I'll tell her so when she gets to leave her room.  
  
Bill- See, it's another conflict with a Weasley! Why?  
  
Lee- Because there are so many of you.  
  
Cho- Harry! Why wasn't one of our dates the most memorable?  
  
Harry- You want me to tell the whole world about our dates?  
  
Cho- Good point.  
  
Percy- Once again, I don't want to know, so please don't tell me.  
  
Fred- You know, if you don't get out more, and if you stopped washing your hair, I bet you would make a great potions master.  
  
Percy- This is so degrading.  
  
George- I know! Isn't it fun?  
  
Lee- I'm certainly enjoying myself! Fred Weasley, it's your turn!  
  
Fred- Cool! Refresh me on what the question was, Lee?  
  
Bill- Fred, you know perfectly well that you have to tell us your most memorable date and what happened on it.  
  
Fred- Thanks, Bill! You're a pal.  
  
Bill- Stop buying time and answer the question.  
  
Fred- Alright, sure. The date that I most remember was with Parvati Patil.  
  
Alicia- What about Angelina!?  
  
Fred- It's not what our favorite date was; it's what our most memorable date was.  
  
Alicia- And why was it memorable?  
  
Fred- Because we snogged and snogged and snogged. And then we snogged some more, and then we sat on the couch in the Gryffindor common room. Alicia- That's not being very faithful to Angelina, Fred.  
  
Fred- I wasn't dating Angelina then.  
  
Padma- I can't believe my sister.  
  
Lee- I can!  
  
Bill- Well, that's great. Another Weasley drama. Professor Lupin, you are up!  
  
Lupin- I should be nervous, but when you're friends with people like Sirius, you get used to embarrassing scenarios.  
  
Lee- Good, so tell us your most memorable date and what happened.  
  
Lupin- My most memorable date was with Professor McGonagall. I don't like her or anything, it was just hilarious because someone had given her a truth potion and so she kept spilling all sorts of secrets.  
  
Percy- Someone ought to give Ginny a truth potion. Who knows what we would find out?  
  
Bill- Stop dragging Ginny into this, this was the one answer so far this round that didn't involve a Weasley.  
  
George- Right, because the next answer will be answered by none other than me, so it will definitely involve a Weasley.  
  
Lee- That's right! George Weasley, tell us what you know!  
  
George- I would have to say the date that stands out the most in my mind is August 2nd. I just like the weather then.  
  
Bill- That was so not funny.  
  
George- Sorry, I couldn't resist. No, probably my most memorable date would be the time when Fred and Angelina and Alicia and I went to Hogsmeade this one time and we went to the Three Broomsticks and it was just hilarious because Fred and Angelina got so pissed (pissed=drunk in English) that they just fell asleep at the table and me and Alicia dissed them and we went up to the Shrieking Shack and had a snog.  
  
Fred- That was a good time, George.  
  
Alicia- It sure was! And I was laughing at Angelina about it for days.  
  
Percy- Am I the only sane person in this family?  
  
Bill- No Percy, it's just that you don't know how to have fun.  
  
Percy- I resent that.  
  
Bill- Then at the dance, I dare you to enjoy yourself.  
  
Percy- I will.  
  
Bill- Good. Now tell us your most memorable date and what happened.  
  
Percy- I don't wanna!  
  
Narcissa- I think what it is is that he doesn't have one.  
  
Lupin- You shouldn't be the one to talk, Cissa. There's a happy medium between not having a memorable date and learning way too much about Lucius at the age of fifteen.  
  
Percy- And besides, I do have one.  
  
Narcissa- Then say it and get Lupin off my back!  
  
Lupin- Better than Lucius on your back.  
  
Narcissa- What is your problem?  
  
Bill- Okay, break it up. Just say your piece, Perce.  
  
Percy- Fine, my most memorable date was when Penny and I got caught when we were kissing in a classroom.  
  
Lee- Wow, you sure lead an exciting life.  
  
Narcissa- How memorable.  
  
Bill- Okay, you know what, Percy is suffering enough, let's lay off him.  
  
Narcissa- Fine.  
  
Lee- Great! Time for our final contestant! Seamus Finnegan! What is your most unforgettable date?  
  
Seamus- How come I'm last?  
  
Lavender- They always save the best for last.  
  
Seamus- Oh. Cool.  
  
Fred- *cough* whipped *cough*  
  
Seamus- Right. Well my most memorable date was when I went and spent a week this past summer at Lavender's house.  
  
Lavender- That was so much fun! We rode broomsticks for hours, and went on that picnic, and-  
  
Seamus- Right, it was great.  
  
Narcissa- And you all criticize me.  
  
Bill- Yeah, well, be quiet.  
  
Fred- Hey, wasn't that the last contestant?  
  
Lee- Yes it was! Thank you for participating! Please go backstage for further instructions, and I will see you all tomorrow morning at breakfast! Gryffindor table, Great Hall-  
  
Bill- Thank you Lee.  
  
Lee- Goodnight, Hogwarts!  
  
Audience- YEAH!!!!!!! 


	13. An Impartial Sock

A/N- Wahoo! The show was a success! Totally top of the charts! At least I hope so. Anyways, I have absolutely nothing to say, except to beg you to review me and give me suggestions which I may or may not use because I already sort of know who is going with whom! I can't wait to find out everything!  
  
The fourteen people in group two walked backstage, where the people from the first group eagerly begged to hear what happened. Fred and George were happily giving everyone a play-by-play. A couple seconds later, Bill and Lee walked backstage too, but they didn't stay. They just walked through the doors and back to their dormitories.  
  
"This is so scary, Harry," Hermione said, looking both happy and nervous, "I can't wait until we find out who we're paired with!" Ron and Harry looked at each other and laughed. "Hermione, you have been saying that ever since you found out that you were going to be on the show. You only have to wait until tomorrow night to find out! And then the dance is the night after tomorrow!" Ron said, rolling his eyes. Hermione nodded, slightly reassured.  
  
As she was leaning back in her chair in an attempt to relax, Sirius came over. "Hey Harry, Hermione, Ron," he said, grinning as he sat down in a pouf next to the three of them, "Are you excited? I can't wait, personally. I haven't been to a Hogwarts Ball in way too long. I just have to cross my fingers that I don't get paired with someone like Narcissa Malfoy. I might die of horror, or if not I might get killed by Lucius."  
  
"Sirius, you are so lucky," Hermione smiled, looking into his dancing blue eyes, "you couldn't care less which person you get paired with. And don't worry, there's not a chance that you and Mrs. Malfoy are compatible." Professor Lupin heard that and walked over. "Sirius, you actually think there's a chance that you'll get paired with Cissa?" he asked skeptically, "Please, she's the last person you'd get paired with." Sirius laughed. "No, that would have to be Sevvie," he said before being overtaken by laughter.  
  
Ginny, meanwhile, was complaining to Oliver and Katie. "This is just bad," she said, but she didn't look too disappointed, "now Percy keeps giving me this 'I'm disappointed in you' look." Katie smiled sympathetically. "Percy would be giving you that same look if you hadn't admitted anything at all," she said, and chances were good that she was right. Percy was probably just annoyed that now everyone thought that he like Penny Clearwater.  
  
"Penny, you do realize that now the whole school probably thinks we're going out," he said nervously, pacing back and forth. Penny laughed, pulling Percy down next to her on a pouf. "Perce, we ARE going out. Stop worrying," she said, shaking her head at her boyfriend's paranoia.  
  
A few poufs away, Snape was talking angrily to Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. "That was completely humiliating. And as if that wasn't bad enough, now Dumbledore is expecting me to attend the dance with my 'perfect match'. This is some stupid set-up to fix me up with someone while really getting on my nerves," he said, shoving a piece of greasy black hair away from his face.  
  
Narcissa sniggered, thinking that Sevvie was absolutely right. That was exactly the sort of thing Professor Dumbledore would do. He really seemed to enjoy getting on Severus' nerves, and he would never miss a chance to fix people up. "Stop complaining, Snape," Lucius snapped, putting his arm around his wife, "at least you're not married. You have nothing to lose. Cissa and I could get paired up with totally different people!"  
  
"This is so exciting, Fred!" Angelina grinned, pulling Fred's ponytail, "I can't wait to find out who we're paired with!" Fred nodded, but he looked a little bit nervous. "What is it, you two?" Alicia asked Fred and George, "How can you be nervous? You're half in charge of this show! You don't have to worry about who you get matched with!"  
  
Fred and George looked at each other guiltily. "Well you see," George said in a way unlike his own, "we just talked to Dumbledore." Fred nodded, and continued for his brother. "He insists," Fred said, "that none of us be involved in the choosing of the pairs. He wants an impartial selector so that it is fair for everyone who is participating, and not just something we made up to fix ourselves and our friends up with people."  
  
The grin fell slightly from Angelina's face. "But we don't have too much to worry about, do we?" she asked optimistically, "I mean, what's the 'impartial selector'?" George laughed in spite of himself. "It's a sock," he said, dead serious.  
  
Before another word could be said, Professor Dumbledore walked into the room, and everyone fell silent. He stood there a second, looking excited. "So," he smiled, eyes twinkling, "did you enjoy yourselves?"  
  
"That was bloody embarrassing!" Draco shouted from a corner where he and Pansy were 'sitting', "Why the hell did you invite my bloody parents?" Everyone laughed. Mostly everyone in the room loved seeing Draco embarrassed.  
  
"Too bad," Professor Dumbledore said, laughing, "I really enjoyed myself. Now as you know, the dance is the night after tomorrow. You will find out who you are paired with sometime tomorrow. Further announcements as to when will be made then. Enjoy yourselves! And now, off to your dorms so that you can get a good night's sleep before lessons tomorrow! But before you leave do you have any questions?"  
  
Sirius Black raised his hand jokingly. "I have a question, Albus," he said, glancing around at Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy as he asked, "Where are the Malfoys and I going to sleep?"  
  
Professor Dumbledore smiled, as if he was expecting that question. "You haven't changed from when you were at school, Sirius," he said, eyes dancing under his 'half-moon spectacles', "you will be staying with Professor Lupin. Lucius, you will be sharing Professor Snape's room. And Narcissa, you can room with Professor Sinistra. Now off to bed! See you all tomorrow at breakfast!"  
  
At these words, everyone got up and left the room, talking amongst themselves. Fred and George stuck around to talk to Professor Dumbledore. "Professor," Fred asked, grinning winningly, "can I ask a question?" The headmaster grinned good-naturedly. "You just did," he laughed, "however, you may ask another one."  
  
"Why does the selector of partners have to be impartial?" he asked, with George nodding behind him, "we would be totally fair if we got to choose." Professor Dumbledore shook his head. He had expected as much from his two most mischievous students since Sirius Black was at school. "Sorry," he said, "but I want this game show to be as accurate as possible. I know you two wouldn't mean to be, but you might not really know who would be perfect for whom. But I assure you, the impartial sock will be completely impartial. You needn't worry."  
  
Fred and George could tell the matter was closed as they walked out of the room. "Great," George said as while they were walking up the stairs, "The fate of our love life is in the hands of a sock." 


	14. Suspense

A/N- Who doesn't love socks? Oh, and I'm a little obsessed with Fred's ponytail. Sorry I keep mentioning it. Ditto to Professor Dumbledore's 'twinkling eyes'.  
  
The next morning, there was a mad rush to get to the Great Hall. Everyone was hoping that there would be an announcement as to who would be going to the dance with whom.  
  
"You guys are so lucky," Neville said as he walked down the stairs with Harry, Ron, Seamus, and Dean, "You don't have to worry about asking anyone to the dance." The other four boys shook their heads. "We're not as lucky as you think, Neville," Ron admitted, "What if we get paired with someone totally awful?"  
  
Everyone was thinking along the same lines as they sat down at the different house tables. Fred and George were looking especially worried. They had figured the whole time that they would have this whole thing in the bag, but now they had found out that they wouldn't even get to choose who they would end up with.  
  
"Fred, stop worrying," Angelina said, playfully tugging his ponytail, "Everything will be fine. Socks are fine! You're fine! So just relax. I'm sure you'll wind up with someone great." Fred couldn't help but grin. "You're right," he said, smiling, "Socks are our friends, right?"  
  
George, Oliver, Alicia, and Katie came and sat down next to them while they were talking. "What are you talking about? Why are socks our friends all of a sudden?" Oliver asked, completely confused. "Don't ask, Oliver," George said knowingly. Oliver shrugged. He figured, knowing Fred and George, that he didn't want to know anyway.  
  
"That was so bloody embarrassing!" Draco said to Pansy at the Slytherin table, "Why the hell would Dumbledore go and invite my parents?" Pansy laughed, running her hand down Draco's arm. "He probably just loves seeing you all riled up," she said, rolling her eyes sympathetically, "Don't give him OR your parents the satisfaction. Just enjoy yourself when you're at the ball with me, and you can be the one having the last laugh." Draco couldn't help smiling, thinking of how much fun he would have with Pansy at the ball. "Yeah, that will be perfect. I can't wait," he said.  
  
Up at the staff table, Lucius Malfoy and Professor Snape were arguing vehemently with Sirius Black and Lupin. "No Sirius, I absolutely refuse," Snape snapped, shaking his head at how immature Black could be. "Oh come on, Sevvie, it would be so much fun to have a game of Truth or Dare at the dance!" Sirius smiled, having the time of his life.  
  
"No," Lucius sneered, "Severus and I will not take part in such a teenage game." Sirius imitated his sneer, and cracked himself up. "Why, are you scared?" he asked, knowing the way to get his way was to make it hurt their pride. Snape and Lucius knew he knew what he was doing, which made them all the more reluctant to agree. "Of course not," Snape said, defending himself.  
  
"Then prove it," Lupin said, pushing, "when we start it up, get involved. Or everyone will find out what really happened at that New Years Party." Sevvie and Lucius frowned, knowing they were stuck. "Fine," Lucius agreed, "we will."  
  
"I wonder who I'll be paired with," Cho said thoughtfully at the Ravenclaw table, "I hope it's not someone ugly." Padma rolled her eyes. Cho could be so shallow. But then again, she could be sort of flaky too. "Me too," Padma said, sighing and going with the flow.  
  
Back with the Gryffindors, Percy was complaining up a storm. "That was so embarrassing! I can't believe I let myself be humiliated like that!" he said, whining to Penelope. Penny grinned. She had felt exactly the same way until she had gotten on the show and realized that it made no difference what she said because everyone already knew about that whole deal with her kissing Percy in the classroom. If you've told Ginny, you've told Ron, and if you've told Ron, you've told everyone.  
  
Suddenly, up at the staff table, Professor Dumbledore stood up. Everyone immediately fell silent. "I'm getting better at getting your attention," he said, noting that he didn't have to ask Professor Snape to scream at the students anymore, "Now, how many of you want to know who you are going to be paired with?"  
  
There was a huge uproar as everyone started screaming and stomping their feet and banging on the table. Draco Malfoy was looking extremely self- satisfied as he banged his goblet on the Slytherin table. "Well tell us already!" yelled Fred and George at the top of their lungs.  
  
Professor Dumbledore chuckled, and everyone got quiet again so that he could talk. "Thanks for your opinions, Mr. and Mr. Weasley," he said calmly, "Now I know that you know more than everyone else because you helped organize this lovely idea. But I think I should make this announcement before I allow anyone to find out their perfect match."  
  
The whole Great Hall got even more tensely excited. "Okay," said Professor Dumbledore, "I'm sure you have all been wondering who will be doing the matching. I have heard rumors that it would be I, or Fred and George Weasley- In fact, I even heard someone say they thought it might be Professor Snape! And I'm proud to announce that you are all wrong."  
  
Most of the student body seemed shocked by this. If it wasn't going to be one of them, they didn't know who it would be! Fred and George and their friends knew, of course, but they were the only ones. "So let me announce," the headmaster continued, smiling, "that your perfect match from the show will be concluded by none other than a very special, very impartial sock!"  
  
No one spoke for a minute, but then laughter filled the Great Hall. Even Fred and George found it funny now that everyone else did. Ron grinned at Hermione and Harry. "This is great!" he said, which seemed strange coming from Ron about a sock, "I have connections!"  
  
"Ron, what the heck are you talking about?" Hermione asked, completely confused. Harry had a similar expression of bewilderment on his face. "Well you see," Ron said smartly, "My best friend is Harry. Harry is friends with Dobby (the house-elf). Dobby has an obsession with socks. So I'm connected to socks through three degrees of separation!" Harry and Hermione looked at him strangely. They couldn't deny that he was right, but he was really weirdly right.  
  
About a minute later, everyone stopped talking about the impartial sock and looked up at Dumbledore expectantly realizing that he hadn't told them their perfect matches. The professor realized that they realized this, and stood back up at his place at the staff table.  
  
"I'm assuming you all just noticed that I didn't tell you your perfect match yet," he said, eyes twinkling. The whole student body started yelling at him. "Calm down," he said, "you will be finding out today! Lee Jordan will be making an announcement later on as to when you should all come down to the Great Hall. Once you are down there, the impartial sock will say a few words, and then it will announce the pairings! Now off to class!"  
  
Complaining about not yet knowing, everyone started walking out of the Great Hall. Up at the staff table, Sirius Black turned to Professor Dumbledore excitedly. "What should Lucius and Cissa and I do?" he asked, grinning a mile wide. "We can stay in our rooms and await the torture of a smelly sock," suggested Lucius, cocking an eyebrow at the headmaster.  
  
Professor Dumbledore shook his head, eyes getting that familiar twinkle again. "I wouldn't want to put you through all that!" he said, laughing at the look on Lucius' face, "You may all attend classes today!" Sirius looked super excited. "Great!" he said, and stood there waiting for further instructions.  
  
"Sirius, you can attend classes with Harry and Ron. Lucius, Cissa, just go to all the classes that Draco has," Professor Dumbledore said happily. Lucius gave the headmaster an evil glare to rival all evil glares. "Do you have any idea what I would like to do to you right now?" he asked, sneering at him.  
  
"I do! You'd like to hug him and thank him for this wonderful opportunity," Sirius said, knowing that he was pushing his luck with Lucius. "Thank you Sirius," Dumbledore smiled, "but you should all get to class now. You wouldn't want to be late!"  
  
"I always was," Sirius said, smiling (3 guesses as to why he was late). "I remember that well," Professor Dumbledore said, "I particularly recall you getting accidentally locked in the staff wardrobe and not being able to get out until I went to hang up my coat. But you better get to class, all of you, so you won't be TOO much of a distraction! Bye!"  
  
"Imagine Sirius Black being a distraction," Lucius said, smirking as the three visitors walked out of the Great Hall. "Hmm," said Sirius, laughing, "I think I've always been somewhat distracting to the ladies."  
  
"No, that was probably the smell of your gym socks," Lucius said spitefully. Narcissa nodded, arching an eyebrow. "Don't be so blonde, Lucius," Sirius said, cracking up, "We don't take gym. And besides that, you don't want to go around dissing socks. After all, who knows how impartial this impartial sock really is!" 


	15. Potions Class

A/N- Just this last chappie and then you will know everything! I promise!  
  
A FEW HOURS LATER, BUT NO ONE SEEMS TO REALIZE ANY TIME HAS PASSED. MIRACULOUSLY, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THE OTHER STUDENTS WILL HAVE SEEN THE THREE VISITORS IN CLASS. AS SUCH, WE FIND HARRY, RON, HERMIONE, DRACO, SIRIUS, SEVVIE, LUCIUS, NARCISSA, and ANY OTHER STUDENTS NORMALLY IN POTIONS ARE ON THEIR WAY TO POTIONS CLASS. WHAT A COINCIDENCE.  
  
"Why do we have to go to Potions today? Today of all days! I can't concentrate! I could be finding my perfect match in a matter of hours!" Hermione said, wringing her hands and she walked with Harry and Ron to Potions. Ron and Harry laughed. This had to be the fifth time they were having this conversation.  
  
"Hermione, are you going to continue bugging us about this until we actually find out who we've been paired with?" Ron asked, although it was a bit hypocritical considering that his face matched his hair whenever anybody mentioned the pairings. "I'm just so nervous!" she said, sitting down tensely at a seat at their usual table in the Potions dungeon, "This could determine your whole future!"  
  
"Still worrying about your soulmate, Granger?" Draco drawled, sitting down at a table near enough to taunt the three Gryffindors from afar. "What's it to you, Malfoy?" Hermione asked, standing up for herself. Ron would have tried to do it for her, but he remembered only too well the last time he had tried to stick up for Hermione.  
  
"Draco was just interested to hear what the people who don't have it made feel like. See, unlike you, he doesn't have to worry about his perfect match," Pansy said, smiling and wetting her lips as she sat down next to Draco. Hermione shot her a glare, and Harry and Ron looked at her in disgust.  
  
Before any of them could comment, Professor Snape strode into the room angrily. "Everyone sit down, let's get started," he snapped, walking to the front of the room. The class immediately quieted down. As much as they didn't like Snape, they knew better than to do anything to get on his nerves when he stormed into class like that.  
  
As he began to teach, he calmed down a little bit, and didn't look quite as aggravated as he had at the beginning. But that was before Lucius, Narcissa, and Sirius walked in. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?" Snape asked, looking daggers at Sirius.  
  
Sirius grinned. "I am here to annoy you, bother you, and attend your class while I wait for the pairings to be announced," he said, laughing with eyes glinting mischievously. "And Lucius and Narcissa are also here to attend class. Where should we sit?"  
  
Snape gestured towards a table in the back, and they sat down. Without another glance towards them, he continued the lesson. "Who knows the properties of Ananacaque?" he asked shirtily, sounding as if it was the last thing he wanted to know.  
  
Naturally, Hermione's hand shot into the air. Unsurprisingly, hers was the only one. "How about you, Mr. Malfoy?" Snape asked with distaste. "What?" asked Draco and Lucius at the same time. Professor Snape sighed. "Would you all pay attention?!" he snapped, pushing his hair out of his eye, "This is the time to take notes, not pass them! Accio parchments!"  
  
Quite a few pieces of parchment flew into his hand. Parvati noted unhappily that hers was one of them. And she certainly wasn't the only one looking a little worried that Professor Snape would read them aloud. Pansy and Draco looked horrified, Ron looked sick, and Hermione couldn't stop wringing her hands.  
  
"Hmm. Should I read these notes out loud?" Sevvie asked, smirking, "let me weigh the consequences. If I don't, then I'll be bored. If I do, that would be a little mean to the people whose notes I have." He paused, allowing everyone with their fingers crossed to take the breath that they had been holding. "Hmm. See, here's the thing. I really want to read them out loud, but I don't feel like wasting my time. So I'll just give you all a little summary of them," he said, smirking.  
  
"Well," he began, "it seems that Harry and Ron want hot dates to the dance. Neville wishes that he could be as lucky as Seamus. Parvati thinks Sirius has got a nice ass, and Lavender feels that Seamus' is better. Draco wishes his parents weren't here so he and Pansy could shag or something to that effect. Pansy agrees with Draco, but says that she doesn't give a damn whether or not Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy are around. Hermione is desperately nervous to find out her perfect match, and hopes that Draco gets paired with someone awful for him. Sirius wants to have some fun at the dance, and thinks that the whole idea of Blind Date is fantastic."  
  
"Hey! I also wrote that I thought that you and Lucius would make a cute couple!" Sirius said, faking indignation. Before Snape could even make a comeback, Lee Jordan's magically magnified voice could be heard throughout the school.  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and Professor Snape! It is now the moment you have all been waiting for! In a matter of minutes, you will all find out who your soulmate is!" he said, sounding thoroughly excited, "The impartial sock is good and smelly, and ready to announce the pairs! Would everyone please report to the Great Hall for the matchmaking experience of a lifetime?" 


	16. Return of the Sock

A/N- Yes! Finally! We will now find out everything! YAY! We love you, impartial sock!  
  
Lee Jordan had barely finished his sentence when everyone started running for the Great Hall. Even the people who hadn't been in the show were starting to get into the spirit of things.  
  
The twenty-six people who had actually participated went and sat down on the couches that had been set up in front of the staff table around the Sorting Hat's stool. Where the Sorting Hat usually sat was a sock.  
  
"This is so cool," Fred said, sitting down on a couch with George, Angelina, Alicia, Katie and Oliver. "I know," George agreed, "We are so bloody brilliant, Fred." It was unanimous at their couch that they were.  
  
"I am so nervous!" Hermione exclaimed again, now biting her nails. Parvati swatted Hermione's hand away from her mouth. "That is an awful habit, Mione! Besides, there's nothing to be nervous about! Whoever you get paired with, you get paired with, and you're going to get paired with someone perfect for you, so stop worrying!" she said, and Lavender nodded in agreement.  
  
Over at the couch where Harry, Ron, Dean, Seamus, and Ginny were sitting, everyone was telling pretty much the same thing to Ron. He was so nervous and embarrassed, but he looked so funny with his face matching his hair that even Ginny was having a hard time keeping a straight face. "Calm down, Ron!" Seamus said, laughing, "What are you worrying about? It's just a date!"  
  
Draco and Pansy, however, had no nervousness. They were sharing a couch with an unlucky Percy, Cho, Padma, and Penelope, who were all sitting on one side of the couch as Draco and Pansy played tonsil hockey on the other. "Those two are really starting to bug me," Penny said, rolling her eyes.  
  
Sirius, Lupin, Lucius, Narcissa, Sevvie, and Professor Sinistra (Aurora) were all sitting together on one couch. "This is so exciting! I can't wait!" Sirius said, grinning. Professor Lupin nodded happily, and even Aurora Sinistra looked excited. Lucius, Cissa, and Snape, however, were not smiling.  
  
"Welcome everyone to the matchmaking ceremony of the century!" Lee said from the front of the room, "I'll give the stage over to Professor Dumbledore now, as he would like to say a few words."  
  
Everyone fell silent once again as Professor Dumbledore stood up. "Welcome, welcome," he said happily, smiling around the room with twinkling eyes, "I see that you are all excited. Draco and Pansy, could you please hold off on the snogging? Thank you. Okay, well let me just explain to you the rules. You must attend at least half the dance with the partner the sock chooses for you. To make sure of this, you will be magically held within a five foot distance of your partner starting tomorrow morning! And now, without further ado, the impartial matchmaking sock will begin!"  
  
The impartial sock, to everyone's surprise, stood up on the stool. As was the fashion of the sorting hat, it began to sing a song. ~Yo yo yo, I'm the sorting sock, I'm hear to tell you true~ ~Who your perfect match will be, who'll hug you when you're blue~ ~As I sing my gangsta song, you oughta listen close~ ~If you go against my choice, you're gonna be like toast~ ~Some of you are nice, and some are you are mean~ ~I'll help you to find the dawg with who you'll wanna lean~ ~Some are smart, and some need air~ ~The naughty ones need underwear~ ~You may be sweet, you may be cool, you may be up to snuff~ ~Yet I'll put you where I want you; if you don't like it, that's tough~ ~Whether over-shagged, or never snogged, it's all the same to me~ ~I'll shout you out the one with who you really ought to be~ ~I'd love to suit your fancy, and put you with your crush~ ~To see the way your ears heat up, the way your face will blush~ ~But I gotta tell the truth, I know you know it's true~ ~I'm the gansta impartial sock, now let me deal wit' you!~  
  
Everyone cracked up. "Yo," the sock said, "don't mess wit' da sock! I've got da power!" Draco rolled his eyes. "Professor Dumbledore, why do we have a gangster sock here telling us our perfect match?" he asked with a sniff.  
  
"Yo dawg, don't be dissin' dis sock! You a straight up fool if you think I don't know what I'm talkin' 'bout!" the sock said, causing Fred, George, and Sirius to double over in laughter. Professor Dumbledore was laughing, too.  
  
"Draco, this sock really knows what he's talking about. Now everyone, without further ado, let's find out the pairings! This is what will happen. The sorting sock will shoot some sparks into the air, and then you will find yourself magically next to your partner. And we will announce you, and you will wait next to your partner until everyone is done. And please, no comments until the end," Dumbledore smiled, "Take it away, Gangsta Sock!"  
  
"Alright dawgs, here are those pairings you have all been waiting for!  
Dean Thomas and Padma Patil!  
Seamus Finnegan and Lavender Brown!  
George Weasley and Alicia Spinnett!  
Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley!  
Fred Weasley and Angelina Johnson!  
Remus Lupin and Narcissa Malfoy!  
Oliver Wood and Katie Bell!  
Percy Weasley and Penelope Clearwater!  
Lucius Malfoy and Cho Chang!  
Sirius Black and Parvati Patil!  
Severus (Sevvie) Snape and Aurora Sinistra!  
Ron Weasley and Pansy Parkinson!  
and  
Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger!" 


	17. From Delight to Despair

A/N- *gasp* We know the pairings! Sorry if they aren't what you pictured, but it'll all work out- Don't forget, they only have to spend half their dance time with their partner. What will happen next? Only the gangsta sock knows for sure- Or does he?  
  
"Oh. My. God. You have GOT to be kidding me! Me? Soulmates with you? No!" Hermione stammered, looking at Draco almost ready to cry. Draco didn't look any happier. "Don't think I'm going to enjoy this either, Mudblood," he said, scanning the room for Pansy and whoever her partner was.  
  
"Draco, this is awful! You wouldn't believe it!" she whined, glancing at her supposed perfect match. "Ron Weasley? How dare you! Pansy is my girlfriend, you bloody idiot! How could you get paired with her?" Draco asked, looking at Ron with disgust.  
  
"Mione, this is awful! I'm with Pansy! Pansy Parkinson, Draco's girlfriend! Could anyone have it worse than me?" Ron asked Hermione, sounding shocked and upset. Hermione shook her head at Ron disappointedly. "Didn't you listen, Ron? Do you use your eyes? Do you see who I'm standing next to? Do you think I'm standing next to Draco because I feel like it?" she asked, frowning.  
  
Ron's eyes widened. "Malfoy! Bugger! How are you and Mione together? This is so messed up!" he said truthfully. He was definitely right. Ron and Pansy and Hermione and Draco were probably the most unpredictable pairings ever.  
  
Luckily, some people were having better luck. Fred, George, and Oliver were celebrating with Angelina, Alicia, and Katie over their good fortune. "This is so great!" Angelina said happily, hugging Fred. "See Fred, I told you we were bloody brilliant!" George said as Alicia kissed him.  
  
Penny and Percy were excited (and relieved) too, standing over to one side. "I can't believe it," Percy said, "I was sure Fred and George were going to bugger things up and put me with someone awful." Penny laughed. "Oh, Percy, bad language," she said, putting an arm around his waist, "I guess they really didn't have anything to do with the pairings, though. I'm sure they wouldn't have put Ronnie with Pansy Parkinson."  
  
"I cannot believe I'm with you," Lupin said, looking at Narcissa Malfoy in disgust. She glared back at him, flipping her ice blonde hair in an attempt to save face. "Being with you isn't exactly a picnic for me, either. And I'm married!" she said angrily, looking around for her husband and whoever he was paired with.  
  
He saw her first, and came over. "This is absolutely ridiculous! How could you be paired with Lupin?" Lucius asked, glaring at Lupin evilly. Narcissa (Cissa) shook her head. "I can't understand it either! I mean, he's best friends with Sirius Black! He should have been paired with Hermione Granger or something!" she said angrily.  
  
Professor Lupin rolled his eyes and said, "Hey there, Cissa, I'm right here. I can hear everything you're saying! And while we're at it, I have a question. You seem to be very upset by the fact that you're paired with me while being married to Lucius, yet you don't seem to care that your husband has been matched up with Cho Chang!"  
  
Lucius realized this at the same time as Lupin did, and looked at Narcissa expectantly. "Well that's because I don't figure on anything happening. It's not like I should feel threatened; there's no way Lucius would be attracted to Cho or vice versa," she claimed, looking at Cho and Lucius with a laugh.  
  
"Excuse me? You don't think I'm a threat?" Lucius asked, insulted. Cho nodded. "I'm insulted. You'd be surprised at how much of a threat I could be," she said, looking angrily at Mrs. Malfoy, "Just you wait."  
  
Professor Lupin decided to save himself from getting involved in a Malfoy family conflict and go see how Sirius Black was making out. "Moony, this is so awesome!" Sirius said, "I'm with Parvati!" Lupin looked from Sirius to Parvati, both of them the biggest flirts their age, and both grinning at each other. The gangsta sock had made no mistake there.  
  
"What about you, Professor Lupin?" Parvati asked happily, "Who are you paired with?" Professor Lupin's eyes darted back and forth before he spoke. "You will never believe this, Sirius," he said disgustedly, "but I got matched with Narcissa Malfoy."  
  
Sirius looked at Lupin in shock. "That's awful! How did you wind up with a tosser like her?" he asked, looking on as Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy and Cho Chang argued on the other side of the room. Lupin shrugged. It was a mystery to him too, and he wasn't sure how much fun the dance was going to be now.  
  
"What's wrong, Lupin, afraid of the wrath of Lucius?" Snape asked, walking over to the group. Lupin shook his head, ignoring his fellow professor. "Why do you care, Sevvie? Are you jealous? Did you want to be paired with Narcissa? Or no, I suppose you'd rather be paired with Lucius," Sirius said, sticking up for his best friend.  
  
Snape glanced icily at Sirius. "That is really getting old, Black," he snapped, "But no, I'm paired with Aurora Sinistra. What a joy." He didn't look too upset though. In fact, he looked a little excited. Sirius knew better than to mention the look in his eye, however. He was looking too forward to the dance to risk being poisoned before he could play Truth or Dare.  
  
"If I could have everyone's attention, please," Professor Dumbledore said, standing up and looking around, "I'd like to say a few words. Again. First of all, let me say congratulations to everyone. Second, I hope to see you all on your best behavior at the dance, as the event is going to be reported for the Daily Prophet, as well as videoed for a rainy day. Third, don't forget that you must stay with the partner that has been chosen for you by the sock for at least half of the dance. And finally, to those students who weren't involved in the show, please feel free to come with a date and have a great time. See you tomorrow night!" 


	18. Playing DressUp

A/N- Sorry about all the short chapters, I promise that once the Spring Ball starts they will be longer. This will be soon! YAY! And if you aren't happy with some of the pairings, don't give up hope.  
  
ONCE AGAIN, TIME HAS PASSED EXTREMELY QUICKLY, AND NO ONE SEEMS TO REALIZE THAT ANY TIME HAS PASSED. IT IS NOW THE DAY OF THE DANCE (THE DANCE WILL BE AT NIGHT THOUGH, OF COURSE). THE DANCE WILL START AROUND 7:00. IT IS NOW AROUND 6:00, WHICH MEANS EVERYONE IS JUST FINISHING THEIR DINNER. AS SUCH, EVERYONE IS IN THE GREAT HALL IS GETTING READY TO LEAVE TO GET READY FOR THE DANCE. WHAT A COINCIDENCE. (A/N- Déjà vu, anyone?)  
  
"I still can't believe this," Hermione said sadly to Parvati and Lavender at dinner, "This could have been so much fun! But no, I had to be paired with Draco Malfoy!" Parvati and Lavender nodded sympathetically. "Hey, look on the bright side, Mione," Parvati said, "At least he's hot!"  
  
Hermione shook her head. She was still in shock of how shallow some of her friends could be. She could maybe see talking about some of the other people in her house like that, but Malfoy? Never.  
  
"Anyway, whether or not you like your partner, I do. Sirius is so hot, and he's older and more mature than us," Parvati said happily. Hermione and Lavender snorted. "Sirius? Hot, maybe. But more mature? I think Ron Weasley is more mature than him," Lavender laughed.  
  
Hermione shook her head. "Ron's not that immature," she said, "Sirius is actually probably worse." Parvati's eyes glinted. "Why, do you like Ron?" she asked, looking from Hermione's look of slight indignation to the red-head talking animatedly to Harry, Fred, and George.  
  
Once again, Hermione shook her head. (A/N- What is this, the third time?) "Ron? Me? Please," she said, laughing. Parvati and Lavender shrugged, accepting her word. "Well anyway, we really should go upstairs and get ready. We have to look perfect for the dance," Parvati said, standing up. Hermione and Lavender stood up with her, and they walked out of the Great Hall.  
  
They weren't the only ones. Just around the time they left, everyone started rushing up to their dorms to get ready. With only an hour left until the dance, there was hardly any time to waste. Some were walking upstairs more excitedly than others, however. Pansy and Draco entered the Slytherin common room slightly depressed, and Ron and Hermione looked very dejected as they started to head up to their respective dorms.  
  
But everyone tried to forget about their assigned partners though, and at least have a great time getting ready for the dance. Harry, Ron, Seamus, Dean, and Neville were on the way up to their dorm when they were interrupted once again on the stairs by Colin Creevey.  
  
"Hi Harry!" he said eagerly, "Are you excited about the dance?" Harry rolled his eyes to the other four boys. "Hi Colin," he said (and you could just hear the excitement in his voice), "Yeah, I suppose." Colin nodded excitedly. "So Harry, can I just take a picture of you?" he asked, causing Ron and Seamus to start sniggering uncontrollably. Harry shook his head. "Sorry Colin, I'm in a rush," he said, putting his hand over the camera and continuing up the stairs.  
  
As soon as the five boys had ditched Colin, Ron and Seamus, this time accompanied by Dean and Neville, started laughing. "Well, If anyone's going to be jealous of Ginny tonight, it's Colin," Seamus said, cracking up on his bed. Harry shook his head (I really wish people would stop doing that). "That is just sad, Seamus," he grinned, "Just sad. But anyway, what are we supposed to wear tonight? Do we wear our dress robes, or do we wear dressed- up muggle clothes?"  
  
Ron piped in at this one. For once, having a brother like Percy who actually listened to the rules would come in handy. "Percy said that the girls will be wearing muggle dress clothes, and the guys have a choice of either dress robes or muggle dress clothes," he said knowingly. The other guys shrugged. None of them really cared what to wear.  
  
Once they were all dressed, and Neville had successfully lost Trevor for what had to be the two hundredth time, they went to try and fix their hair so that it looked presentable. For Harry, this was more of a feat than it seemed. "Ron, you have to help me! My hair isn't working!" he said, trying ineffectively to smooth it down.  
  
In the room next door, Fred, George, Lee, Oliver, and Percy were busy getting ready too. "This is so unfair," Lee whined, "You guys didn't even have to worry about dates!" Fred and George laughed.  
  
"Stop whining, Lee. There are far more serious things to worry about," Oliver said, "like whether or not Katie is going to have a good time." "Really?" Fred asked, feigning confusion, "I was thinking more along the lines of what the heck Percy is going to wear."  
  
Percy actually was worrying about that. He had never been more nervous in his life, as far as he could remember. "Don't worry Percy, we'll help you," George volunteered with a glint in his eye.  
  
For a second Percy looked very relieved, but then he tensed again. "Hold it, you two," he said, looking at then suspiciously, "what's the catch?" Fred and George tried to look as innocent as possible, which was pretty difficult. "Oh come on, Perce," Fred laughed, "can't brothers ever do each other a favor?"  
  
"Not when they're brothers like you two," Percy said knowingly, having experienced one too many of their tricks not to be onto them, "But I don't really have a choice, so I guess I'm going to have to let you." Fred and George grinned, along with Lee, who only did it to go along with the crowd. He actually had no idea what Fred and George were thinking. (A/N- Any suggestions?)  
  
"Okay Percy, let's get started," George said as the four boys gathered around Percy. Percy tried to relax. "Oh, and Percy," Fred said happily, "you owe us!"  
  
On the other side of Gryffindor, in the girls' dormitories, Hermione, Parvati, Lavender, and Ginny were getting ready for the dance too (of course). Like Percy, Ginny and Hermione were both freaking out over what to wear. "Don't worry, we'll help you out," Parvati said, "Just let me and Lavender finish changing into our dresses first."  
  
By the time the two girls were done changing into their dresses, both Hermione and Ginny were nervous wrecks. Parvati looked great (but, in Hermione's opinion, wasn't wearing enough clothes). She had on a really short white low-cut halter dress and white lace up platform sandals. Lavender was dressed a little more conservatively.  
  
"Alright, ready?" Parvati asked, sizing up Hermione and Ginny deciding what color would look best on them. "I guess so," Hermione said, forcing a smile, "I mean, I have to look at least okay. I mean, how bad could Draco really be?" 


	19. Dressing for Success

A/N- This is it! After this chapter, it's time for the dance! I can't wait! Sorry it took so long for this chapter, I've been trying to study for finals.  
  
Meanwhile, the adults were also getting ready for the dance. Most of them were having just as tough a time as the students. And some of them were just as worried. Not Sirius Black, though. Nothing could stop him from having a good time.  
  
"This is going to be so cool, Moony!" he said excitedly, digging through his small suitcase for something to wear, "Aren't you excited?" Professor Lupin shook his head. It wasn't that he wasn't excited about the dance. He knew that that would be fun. It was just the fact that he had to be paired with Narcissa Malfoy, of all people.  
  
Sirius practically read his mind. "Don't worry about Cissa, Lupin," he said as he tried to comb his hair to look acceptable, "She's going to have to put up with you. Why not have a little fun with it? Make Lucius sweat!"  
  
Remus had to laugh at that. The idea of Lucius being jealous over him and Mrs. Malfoy was just hilarious. But that wasn't his style. He wouldn't try to make someone who obviously didn't like him pretend to like him.  
  
"Are you kidding me, Sirius?" Lupin asked incredulously, "And have Lucius curse me on the spot? Not a chance." Sirius rolled his eyes. Lupin had always been more practical than him. "Well would you at least look good so that Lucius will be a little worried?"  
  
Lupin shrugged. It wasn't like he was planning on looking bad. And besides, Sirius' good mood was catching. "Okay Sirius, you are now in charge. Make me look good!" Lupin said, laughing at how dumb he sounded.  
  
Meanwhile, Professor Sinistra and Narcissa Malfoy were getting ready too. "This is crazy. Absolutely crazy. How did I manage to get paired with Lupin? That gangster sock doesn't know what it's talking about," Cissa said, looking back and forth between the two dresses she was deciding between.  
  
"I don't know, the pairings seemed pretty accurate to me," Aurora (hereafter called Ally because the name Aurora is getting on my nerves) said. She smiled to herself as she slipped into a fairly short (but decent), low-cut black dress with a slit going high up the back.  
  
Cissa frowned. "Shut up, Ally, nobody asked your opinion," she said, finally deciding on an outfit. Ally laughed, shaking it off. She was used to Cissa being annoying the way she was from when they were both at school. "You're just jealous because you're going with Remus and I've got a date with Sevvie," she said easy-goingly.  
  
Cissa sneered at her. "You think I would WANT to go on a date with that greaseball?" she asked, glaring at Professor Sinistra as she fixed her hair. Professor Sinistra shook her head. "No, I guess not. Well then, are you threatened that Cho Chang is going to be on a date with your husband?"  
  
"Please? Lucius is no worry, and Cho Chang is a lousy student. Neither of them is any sort of threat," Narcissa said, flipping her hair as she brushed through it. Ally shrugged. Narcissa could think whatever she wanted, but if she were in her place, she would be a little more concerned.  
  
Down in the dungeons, Professor Snape and Lucius Malfoy were also getting ready. (Not that anyone would be doing anything else.) They were, as usual, complaining and arguing, but that was probably just to hide the fact that they were both nervous.  
  
"What color boxers should I wear, Sev?" Lucius asked, cracking up as he held up a pair of black ones, along with some more interesting, decorative choices, including a pair with Quidditch broomsticks. Snape looked at him and shook his head. "What the hell does it matter?" he asked, searching through his wardrobe.  
  
Lucius sighed. He had only cracked up because it sounded so funny. He was serious, though. "Come on, Snape, what color?" he asked again. Giving up, Professor Snape pointed to the black ones. It was only downhill for Snape from there.  
  
"Sev, what pants should I wear? Jeans or black pants or silver ones?" asked Lucius, holding up his choices. Snape shrugged. "Wear the baggy jeans," he said, picking randomly.  
  
"What shirt should I wear, Sev?" he asked, spreading out a couple on the extra bed. "Lucius! No one gives a damn!" Snape snapped, slamming the bathroom door as he went to change.  
  
Lucius rolled his eyes at his supposed best friend's snarkiness. He was probably just jealous because practically the only color he owned was black. He made sure he told Sevvie that as he walked out of the bathroom, naturally wearing his signature color.  
  
"I'll have you know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the color black, Lucius," Professor Snape said silkily, "But I have a question. Doesn't it bother you in the least that your wife thinks you being paired with Cho Chang is no threat? Because if I were you, I would be insulted."  
  
Lucius glared at him evilly. He could put up with most insults easily, but that got him mad. Snape wasn't supposed to know about that, anyway. "How did you find out about that?" he asked, running a hand through his perfectly groomed hair.  
  
Snape smirked. Even though he and Lucius were sort of best friends, he always loved having something on him. "Well, I guess Lupin told Sirius, who let it slip to me. He seemed to want me to rub it in your face," he said, frowning as he thought of the satisfaction this would give Sirius.  
  
"Sirius is really getting on my nerves," Lucius said, putting all his reject clothes away, "Then again, so is the fact that my wife doesn't even feel threatened by me going out with another girl."  
  
Professor Snape nodded. He really couldn't stand Sirius Black. They had been worst enemies for as long as he could remember. He really regretted now that he and Lucius had made that stupid promise to play Truth or Dare at the dance.  
  
Changing the subject off his apparently stupid wife and the most annoying person in existence besides Harry Potter and his friends, Lucius asked, "So Sev, what do you think of this outfit?"  
  
"Oh come on, Lucius! You asked me what to wear every step of the way! You asked me what to wear every step of the way! You KNOW what I think of the outfit! Why the hell do you care so much?" Snape snapped, letting the pressure of having a date and being bothered by Sirius get to him.  
  
Lucius shrugged. "I have to make sure my so-called wife realizes that I'm not a safe bet," he said, smirking, "I need to look good." Sevvie understood. Having Cissa say that must have been a real drag for one of the most egotistical people in the world.  
  
"Good luck with that, Lucius," he said with a laugh, "I'm sure Cho is as insulted as you are not to be considered a threat." Lucius nodded while looking in the mirror one last time before leaving. "Actually, she is," he said honestly, "We'll just see how much of a threat I am." 


	20. The Spring Ball

A/N- Finally! The dance is here! Isn't it exciting? Oh, and sorry that there's no Cho-Lucius-Cissa love triangle in this chapter. That's because the next chappy is almost ENTIRELY them! Yay!  
  
Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall were already in the Great Hall, awaiting everyone else. "You are absolutely crazy, Albus," Professor McGonagall proclaimed, thinking about what was going to happen at the dance.  
  
Professor Dumbledore smiled sheepishly. "You know me too well, Minerva. Come on, the dance will be great. By the way, what time is it?" he asked, realizing that it might be time to cast the spell to make sure that everyone stayed with their partners.  
  
"I really shouldn't tell you, Albus. I know what this is going to lead to. I still remember the last time you did a game show thing like this. But if you insist, it's quarter of seven," Professor McGonagall said, laughing in spite of herself at Albus' determination.  
  
Before doing anything, Professor Dumbledore looked out of the closed doors to the Great Hall. There was a crowd of people waiting there, and he noted that all twenty-six of the contestants from Blind Date were among the people in the very front. Happily, Professor Dumbledore took his wand out of his pocket. "I guess I should cast the spell then," he said, and with that, he said the incantation.  
  
The doors to the hall flew open, revealing the room. It looked amazing. There were Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff banners on the walls. The enchanted ceiling was lit with stars. The girls were all oohing and ahhing over the roses all around. But they stopped suddenly when the effects of Dumbledore's incantation hit them.  
  
The thirteen girls who had taken part in the show were magically moved to be standing next to their date. For some people, this was a good thing. Angelina was looking at Fred like she couldn't be happier. But for others, this couldn't have been worse. Hermione and Draco were eyeing each other with distaste, and Narcissa Malfoy and Professor Lupin were looking at each other unhappily.  
  
Everyone walked into the Great Hall. Hermione and Draco walked over to Ron and Pansy. "This is so unfair, Draco," Pansy said, pouting, "We definitely should have been paired together. We could have had so much fun together. But I guess now we can't."  
  
Draco shook his head, almost wetting his pants. He absolutely hated the way he let Pansy get to him. But he couldn't help it! The low-cut, red halter mini-dress she was wearing made him want to rip the gangster sock's head off and make him re-pick the partners.  
  
"Well Malfoy, how do you feel now?" Ron asked, almost smirking, "I guess Malfoy blood only counts for so much, eh?" Draco's upper lip curled. "You just keep on imagining that Pansy actually wants to be with you, Weasley," he said, unable to think of any better a comeback.  
  
"Oh please, Malfoy. I'm sure she'd rather me than you," Ron shot back, glaring at him. Before Draco could attempt another one of his comebacks, Hermione broke in. "What has gotten into you, Ron?" she asked, a little shocked, "a day ago you were freaking out because you had to be with Pansy, now you seem almost happy! I thought that-" She broke off, brushing her hair out of her eyes and trying to save some face in front of Draco and Pansy, her two least favorite people.  
  
"You thought what, Granger? That Weasley actually wanted to be with you? Keep dreaming," Draco said, laughing. Hermione looked like she was about to slap him. "You know what Malfoy, it doesn't even matter. This dance is awful. You are coming with me, and we are going to go sit in a corner and mope," she said, figuring that if her own fun was going to be ruined, Malfoy's should be too.  
  
"Okay, well Pansy and I are going to dance," Ron said perkily, offering an arm to Pansy. She rolled her eyes. "Fine," she said unhappily, "Let's go." They walked off to the dance floor, their backs to the evil glare Draco was giving them.  
  
"I hate Weasley," he sniffed, "Don't you?" Hermione shrugged. She really wanted to say yes, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.  
  
"Hey Hermione, how's it going?" Sirius asked happily, walking up to her and Malfoy with Parvati at his side. Hermione looked up at him dejectedly. "How do you think? I'm paired with this git," she said, motioning to Draco.  
  
Parvati smiled sympathetically. "That sucks," she said, "I'm with Sirius!" Sirius laughed. "You know that you are just so lucky," he said happily. Parvati nodded. Making Hermione's mood even worse, Parvati and Sirius started kissing right in front of her and Draco. "Get a room," Draco sneered, walking away. Hermione had no choice but to follow.  
  
On the other side of the Great Hall, Percy was having a ball (ha, yeah right) being harassed by Fred, George, and Oliver. "I hate this," Percy said in embarrassment, "Why did you guys come up with such a dumb idea?"  
  
Fred and George grinned. "It certainly wasn't for your benefit, Perce," Fred said, looking at Angelina, who was standing next to him. George was doing the same to Alicia.  
  
"I personally think it's a great idea," Penny said, laughing at the look on Percy's face. Even though it wasn't very nice, she thought he just looked so cute when he was nervous.  
  
"I'm with you, Penny," Oliver said, smiling love-struck-ly at Katie, who laughed. "Alicia, Katie, don't you just love the way we make these boys' IQs go down about 50 points?" Angelina asked jokingly. Alicia and Katie started cracking up. "That's impossible," Percy said haughtily, "I don't think anyone can have a negative forty-nine IQ."  
  
George snorted. "Percy's just jealous because when he sees Penny, his IQ drops about 100 points. I'm surprised he managed to do so well on his O.W.L.s with Penny sitting next to him," he said, causing Percy to turn a few shades redder, and Professor McGonagall to give him and Fred a stern look.  
  
"Okay, new topic," Percy said, trying to regain composure. Everyone in that little group nodded, figuring that they had harassed Percy enough for now. There would still be plenty of time to drive him crazy later. After all, the dance had only just begun.  
  
"You know what, Penny, let's get away from these idiots," Percy said, motioning to Penny to follow him. Penny waved good-bye to Angelina, Alicia, and Katie, and followed Percy away. "Where are we going, Perce?" she asked, brushing up against his arm. "We," he said, walking across the room, "are going to check on Ginny."  
  
Penny rolled her eyes. "Ginny is old enough to take care of herself, Perce!" she complained, knowing how much the younger girl would hate being watched over by her brother. Percy, though, was totally stubborn. "That I doubt," he said confidently, "If she told the truth on Blind Date that she's played strip poker and gotten drunk, I don't really think that she's old enough to take care of herself."  
  
If it had been anyone but Percy, Penny would have given up right there. But she had to admit, she liked trying to convince him of stuff. For some reason, it was just fun. "Oh, come on Percy, you know she's just going to be upset. Why don't we go do something else instead," she said, a glint in her eye.  
  
Percy couldn't think of anything he'd rather do. But he had promised his mother that this year he would watch out for Ginny. "How about after?" he asked hopefully. Penny nodded reluctantly. That was her best argument, and she just had to hope that Ginny wouldn't be too mad.  
  
"Where is Ginny?" Penny asked, grabbing Percy's hand as they walked across the room. Percy felt a tingle go up his arm. If it weren't for the fact that he was so responsible and smart, he would have forgotten about Ginny right then and there.  
  
Luckily, he didn't forget about her, and continued scanning the room for his sister. "There she is," he said, pointing to the red haired girl standing under the Gryffindor banner with Harry. Penny followed Percy while he walked determinedly over to Ginny.  
  
"Hi Ginny," Penny said before Percy could say anything, "How are you?" Ginny looked at Penny and Percy suspiciously. "I'm fine," she said warily, "how are you?" Penny shrugged. Percy began to open his mouth, and she elbowed him. She didn't want her night ruined by Percy and Ginny fighting the whole time. She wasn't in time to stop Percy's next words, though.  
  
"I just wanted to tell you not to do anything I wouldn't do," he said pointedly, "Mom told me to look out for you." Penny winced, and Ginny rolled her eyes. "That doesn't leave me with much, does it?" Ginny laughed, not really trying to contain her disdain for Percy telling her what to do, "And for the record, I'm here at the ball with Harry, not Mom. So I really don't care what she said. Bye Percy!"  
  
Percy frowned, but Ginny had already turned her back on him, so he and Penny had no choice but to walk away. "That went well," Penny said sarcastically, smiling at Percy. "Yeah, well, what did you expect?" Percy asked, leading her over to the refreshment table. Penny shook her head. "Loosen up, Percy. You have five other brothers. Let one of them watch out for Ginny," she said, giving him a kiss. 


	21. The Love Triangle

A/N- Ok, here's the REAL moment we've all been waiting for! Luscious Lucius, we love you!  
  
Meanwhile, other people were having other problems. "Why did I have to be paired with you of all people?" Narcissa asked Lupin, wrinkling her nose at his outfit, which didn't meet her incredibly particular standards. Professor Lupin mimicked her, making her even more annoyed.  
  
"Hey Moony, hey Mrs. M., how ya doin'?" Sirius asked, walking up to the unhappy couple with Parvati on his arm. Lupin looked up, happy to see a face that wasn't blonde and icy. "Thank god someone sane has arrived," he said, looking pointedly at Cissa.  
  
Cissa snorted. "Since when has Sirius Black been sane?" she asked, eyeing Parvati distastefully. Parvati glared back at her. From what she had seen, Mrs. Malfoy wasn't any better than her son.  
  
"So, have you seen your hubby?" Sirius asked persistently, laughing at Cissa. She shook her head. "Why would I? He's probably bored out of his mind drinking punch at the refreshment table," she replied, laughing at the very idea that she should be worried about where her husband was.  
  
At that convenient moment, Lucius and Cho walked up behind her. "Hey," Lucius said sarcastically, "how's your date?" Lupin rolled his eyes. "Your wife is the most annoying person on earth," he said truthfully, "I think the only more annoying person is your son."  
  
Lucius shook his head, his platinum blonde hair practically blinding Sirius. "Hey Lucius honey, how's your 'date'," Narcissa said mockingly, looking down on Cho with an expression of contempt. Cho looked up at her, equally disdainful.  
  
"Excuse me, but what makes you so bloody confident that your so-called husband can't possibly be attracted to me?" she asked, flipping her raven black hair. Lucius nodded in agreement, still completely insulted by the fact that his wife had yet to realize how sexy and lusted after he was.  
  
Narcissa wrinkled her nose. "I thought we had this discussion already. I already explained to you the painfully obvious. Now Lucius, can you please take this little girl out of my sight and let me get on with my date from hell?"  
  
Cho snorted indignantly. "Don't you little girl me! Number one, I'm 16 (A/N- sound right at all?), so I'm hardly a little girl. Number two, I'm prettier than you'll ever be, and more popular, too. Number three, if you're so unhappy with your date, why don't you go with a group? And number four, you just wait and see how much your husband can be attracted to me, you bleach blonde, unattractive, self-centered jerk!"  
  
Narcissa, not knowing what else to say, sniffed. Lucius couldn't help laughing. That was the best comeback he had heard in forever. "That was smooth, Cissa, you have to admit," he said, laughing at the look on his wife's face.  
  
"Go away, Lucius, and take your little 'date' with you. I'll see you later. We can have some real fun, unlike you'd want to have on this little 'date'," Cissa said, smirking at Cho.  
  
Lucius glared one of his trademark evil glares at her. "You know what, Cissa, I'm not really sure you know me all that well. Or my date, for that matter. I'll see you around," he said, grabbing Cho's arm and walking away.  
  
As soon as he left, Sirius and Remus started laughing hysterically. "That- was- hilarious," Sirius said, gasping for breath, "You just got ditched for a 16 year old!" Lupin nodded, grabbing Sirius' shoulder so that he didn't fall over. "That was priceless," he said, almost choking, "I guess I'm not such a bad date, eh?"  
  
At that moment, Professor Snape walked over, with Professor Sinistra following. "What just happened? I heard Black laughing like an idiot from across the room," Snape said, looking at the looks of amusement on Sirius and Lupin's faces, and the look of shock on Cissa's.  
  
"Lucius just blew off Cissa for Cho Chang! It was hilarious!" Sirius said, laughing uncontrollably again. Snape looked a little surprised, but not very. "Come one, Snape, it was a shock! It was funny," Lupin said, surprised that Snape wasn't dying of laughter.  
  
Snape rolled his eyes. "First of all, you are so immature. Second, this is Lucius we're talking about. Remember what happened last time we had a game show at Hogwarts? I am not too surprised that he would do this. He has a one track mind, as we all know, right Cissa?" he said, smirking.  
  
"What are you hinting at, Sevvie?" she asked, annoyed. Sirius grinned, realizing what Snape was getting at. "The last time we had a game show, you were fifteen. Now you are thirty, and Draco is fifteen. You do the math," he said deductively, laughing once again.  
  
Cissa did not look amused. "You know what I'm going to make you all do now," she said, looking around at Sirius, Lupin, Snape, Parvati, and Ally Sinistra. They all shook their heads, clueless. "We are going to find out what Lucius and Cho are up to," she said cunningly, "and we are going to make it worth his while not to be up to anything."  
  
"Narcissa Malfoy!" Sirius said, feigning shock, "Are you asking us to SPY on your husband and his date?" Cissa nodded, unhappily admitting the fact that she now felt threatened.  
  
Before Sirius could start laughing again, Snape answered, "I really don't know what I have to gain by going along with your stupid plan. I actually can't stand you, Cissa. But, I don't think Lucius deserves to get any action to make him even more stuck up. So I'm in- if Ally is."  
  
Ally smiled at Sevvie, and nodded. Sirius was about to start laughing at this too, but Parvati, knowing laughing at Snape's date would mean sudden death for hers, quickly put her hand over his mouth.  
  
Knowing just how to get to Parvati, he licked her hand. Without wanting to embarrass herself and have Professor Snape and Mrs. Malfoy find out, she settled for raising an eyebrow at Sirius. He just winked.  
  
"Well, if Sevvie and Ally are spying on Lucius, and so are you, then I guess I have no choice, considering that I'm your date. Sirius, Parvati, would you please keep me company on this incredibly boring mission to piss Lucius off?" Lupin said, laughing now at the look on Snape's face that clearly said 'get them away!'.  
  
Sirius and Parvati had obviously had other ideas of how to spend the evening, but Sirius, being the good friend that he was, and really wanting to embarrass Lucius, agreed for them to half-heartedly help.  
  
Meanwhile, Lucius and Cho were on their way to the Slytherin Common Room talking angrily. "I cannot believe Narcissa's nerve! I am so a threat!" Lucius said, stopping to admire his clothes.  
  
Cho nodded vehemently. She was probably as mad as Lucius about the whole thing, maybe madder. "I know! It's not fair that we're supposed to be the safe options here! We're not!" she said, still fuming.  
  
Had they heard everything Narcissa had said when she was getting dressed and to her 'date' (Lupin), they would have been even madder. Luckily, they had only heard enough to make them as mad as they were now.  
  
"So what do you think we should do?" Lucius asked, thinking hard, "We have to make everyone realize that we *aren't* 'safe'. Think. If you were my supposed wife, what would tick you off the most, and make you realize that I wasn't safe?"  
  
Cho only had to think for a second before she came up with an answer. But she didn't know if either of them would want to go along with it. "I have an idea. It's a great idea, and it'll *really* get on Cissa's nerves. But I don't know if you're going to want to do it," she said, getting more excited and sure of herself as she spoke.  
  
"I'm open to anything," Lucius said readily. Cho's smile widened. "Okay," she said, "This is a really great idea. Cissa will be totally jealous; it'll be a chance to get one of your least favorite people in the world (Harry Potter) mad; you'll get to embarrass your son in front of an audience; and no one will think that you're a safe bet."  
  
"That sounds perfect," Lucius said, eyes sparkling maliciously. He was very surprised at the cunningness of Cho Chang. He hadn't thought that anyone would be able to match his cleverness. She-who-should-not-be-named (Cissa) certainly hadn't. But Cho was pretty smooth. She was also pretty hot. "Now let's hear what it is," he said with anticipation. 


	22. The Best Bloody Idea Ever

A/N- Wow, I'm finally updating! Amazing, isn't it? Oh, sorry about Cho being a tad OOC, but I couldn't help it, it just fit. R/R!  
  
"So what do you think?" Cho asked Lucius after explaining her plan. Lucius smiled maliciously. "That is the best bloody idea I have ever heard," he said, running a hand through his ever-so-prized blonde hair.  
  
Cho grinned. She had never thought she would be in this position. Blind Date really made people think. And apparently, it gave them crazy ideas. But seriously, she was brilliant to think of this idea. When else would she get the chance to show up someone who had called her a safe bet, while getting Draco Malfoy embarrassed, making other guys jealous, AND having a hot date with Lucius Malfoy? Never, that's when.  
  
"Alright, so here's what we do. Didn't you used to have that house elf who works in our kitchens?" she asked Lucius, who nodded. "Yeah, I think his name was Knobby. Or Lobby. I don't know! Anyway, yes I did, why?" he asked curiously.  
  
Cho grinned another evil grin. They were almost becoming second nature to her now! "Well then, YOU are going to go down to the kitchens and get the- supplies," she said, going over the plan in her head, "I'm going to go talk to some people to work out the finer points of our plan."  
  
Lucius smirked as he headed down to the kitchens. He hadn't been expecting to see Dobby, but he had to admit, it would be fun to gloat about how well the Malfoy family was doing without him. Tickling the pair in the fruit basket on the wall, he walked in.  
  
"How is we being of service to you today?" an elf asked, bowing humbly to the blonde. "I need some whipped cream, some chocolate sauce, a jar of cherries, and two bananas. Oh, and a quart of whatever flavor ice cream you have lying around," Lucius drawled.  
  
The house elves gave him a few strange glances, but willingly got him what he had asked for. Dobby was the elf who brought over the bananas and cherries. "Here you is- Master?" he asked incredulously, tennis ball eyes goggling at him. Lucius sneered, grabbing the fruits from Dobby's hands.  
  
"How's Hogwarts, elf?" he asked snidely as he walked toward the door. Dobby shook his head. "You is being very odd. I is getting worried. I is leaving now. I is not going to ask what you is wanting with these things. Dobby remembers Master's- ideas. I is going now!" Dobby repeated, and back away, leaving Lucius laughing like an idiot.  
  
While he was down in the kitchens, Cho was on her way to talk to the headmaster. She didn't get very far, however, because she was hailed down by numerous couples, both happy and unhappy.  
  
"Cho, could you come here one second?" Hermione asked from the refreshment table, where she was standing unhappily with Draco. Figuring "why not?" Cho walked over. "Cho, would you please tell Malfoy here that just because he's rich doesn't mean he's above everyone else?" Hermione said exasperatedly, gesturing to Malfoy, who had a smirk on his face and a glass of punch in his hand.  
  
"Um," Cho said, caught by surprise, "Sometimes it might, but in Draco's case, it definitely doesn't. But anyway, I'm glad I ran into you, Mione. I need to ask you a favor." Hermione walked over to her, Draco following a very small distance behind. Cho explained her and Lucius' plan, and asked Hermione if she would be willing to have a part.  
  
"That sounds great Cho, really. I mean, Narcissa Malfoy totally deserves it, and I can't wait to see the look on Draco's face either. But I'm not going to ask that question in front of the whole school. Why don't you ask Parvati or someone?" Hermione suggested.  
  
Cho shrugged. To her, it didn't matter who the accomplice was in her plan as long as her goals were achieved. So she walked off to find Parvati, leaving Hermione feeling a little bit better about the evening, and Draco looking very bewildered and not quite so sure of himself.  
  
"What the bloody hell was that about?" Draco asked, looking angrily at Hermione. She shrugged. "Oh, Cho was just telling me about a game of Truth or Dare we're going to be playing later on," she said, telling the truth. Of course, it wasn't the whole truth, but she wouldn't want to give away Cho's plan.  
  
"I don't believe you one bit," said Draco, trying his best to look like he didn't care that he didn't know what was going on. "Okay," Hermione said easily, and took another sip of Butterbeer.  
  
Meanwhile, Cho walked on, looking for Parvati. Who she found were Ron and Pansy. "Hey guys, have you seen Parvati?" she asked perkily, not catching the scowls on both of their faces. Ron looked at her, sizing her up.  
  
"I wish we had," he said, "the sight of a friendly face would be nice after having to stare at the Ice Queen for half an hour. Just don't tell Hermione I said so." Cho looked at him questioningly, not getting what he meant.  
  
"What Freckles here is trying to say is, he thought he would use me to make the Mudblood jealous. That way, she would want to go out with him. So if you told her that, his plan would be a big flop," Pansy said, explaining for Ron, whose face suddenly went as red as his hair.  
  
"Oh. Okay then," Cho shrugged. She hadn't had any plans to tell Hermione, but she tucked this away in the back of her head anyway. "Well," she continued, "good luck you two, I'll be going now."  
  
Pansy shook her head, beckoning her back. Cho turned around, wondering what more Pansy wanted. "Why are you looking for Parvati anyway?" she asked out of pure curiosity. Ron also looked like he wanted to know.  
  
"Oh, I was just going to invite her to play Truth or Dare later," Cho said, half-lying, "You two are welcome to join in too." Pansy smirked, looking at the expression of nervousness and embarrassment on Ron's face. "We'll be glad to," she said, and let Cho continue on her way.  
  
Finally, she found Parvati standing with Sirius Black and Professor Lupin. Unfortunately, they were standing with Professor Snape, Professor Sinistra, and good old Cissa herself. They all seemed to be talking about something, some more vehemently than others.  
  
They quickly shut up though, when Cho walked up. "Hey Cho," Parvati said happily, "What's up?" Cho glanced around at the aforementioned circle of people. "Um, could I talk to you and Sirius alone for a second?" she asked as smoothly as she could.  
  
Parvati nodded, and she and Sirius were about to start walking away when Cissa grabbed Sirius's semi-long hair, which was in a ponytail. "Ouch! Jeez Cissa! What are you trying to do, make me bald?" asked Sirius, rubbing his head. "No. What's your name- Cho- why do you need to talk to Sirius and Parvati?" Cissa asked, not letting go of Sirius's hair.  
  
Cho thought fast. But when Cho thought fast, she thought just a little bit dumb. "Er- I just wanted to- give them some advice," she said unimpressively, "On- um- being- careful?" Sirius almost snorted with laughter, and Parvati grinned at the idea. Cissa hesitated, not quite believing her.  
  
But supposing she didn't have much choice, she let go of Sirius's hair in annoyance. "Fine. Sirius being Sirius, I suppose they need it. But make it quick, we're in the middle of an *important* discussion," she said, glaring at Cho with distrust.  
  
Cho nodded that she had heard her, and walked a little away with Sirius and Parvati. "Okay, what's up? I'm assuming you didn't really call us over to give us- advice," Parvati asked questioningly. Sirius grinned at the thought, but remained quiet as Cho talked.  
  
"Look. Lucius and I are really annoyed that Cissa thinks we're both safe bets. We came up with- I came up with- a plan to make Cissa jealous and Draco embarrassed. Everyone else will either be really jealous or dying of laughter, and both are good," here Cho paused for breath, then continued,  
  
"So we're going to get a big game of Truth or Dare going on. Sirius, that's where you come in. I know you wanted to play Truth or Dare in the first place, so you go ahead and suggest it. Then Parvati, when you eventually get to dare someone, you dare me. This is what you dare me."  
  
Cho broke off, and whispered something in Parvati's ear. Parvati burst out laughing. "Oh my god, that's going to kill her! And Draco! And I can't wait to see that!" she said, agreeing to the plan whole-heartedly. She whispered what it was to Sirius, who started laughing hysterically.  
  
"Now listen, don't tell anyone, okay? Sirius, just start it when the timing is right, I'm sure you'll be able to find a good time. And if Cissa asks what I told you, I was- um- giving you advice about- protection," Cho said, laughing at the pathetic excuse.  
  
Sirius grinned. "Not a problem," he easily, and he and Parvati walked back to the "powwow" to join Remmie, Cissa, Sevvie, and Ally. "What the bloody hell was that about?" Cissa asked, clearly not in any a better mood than since Sirius and Parvati had left. Parvati blushed, and Sirius answered happily, "Cho was just giving us some advice on protection!"  
  
As Cho looked back on the group, she saw the look of horror on Cissa's face, and knew that she didn't suspect a thing about her actual plan. However, she couldn't stay and linger, because she had another mission to take care of.  
  
While Lucius was still making his way back up to the Great Hall from the kitchens (it must have been a very long walk), Cho had yet another person to talk to, and his name was Professor Albus Dumbledore.  
  
Being a Prefect, and not wanting to hurt her chances of possible Head Girl- ship, she didn't want to intentionally break a million rules without asking the Headmaster. It sounded like a dumb plan, but she knew she had to do it. Talking to Hermione had made her even surer of that.  
  
Finally, she found him, standing with Professor McGonagall up where the staff table would usually be. "Excuse me Headmaster, could I talk to you for a second?" she asked, trying to be the epitome of polite to improve her case. Professor Dumbledore glanced down at her. "Certainly. Professor McGonagall, cover your ears," he said laughingly.  
  
"Okay, well here's the thing," Cho began. She then went on to explain her whole idea, making sure to emphasize why they were doing it. When she was done, her face was pink with embarrassment, and Professor Dumbledore was chuckling. "So what do you think?" she asked nervously, looking hopeful, but expecting failure.  
  
"Let me get this straight. Basically, you are asking me if you can endorse age gaps, jealousy, and ridiculous muggle secret games, while in effect getting back at people who have "pissed you off", and giving everyone a good show, a laugh, and a taste of covetousness?" Professor Dumbledore asked incredulously.  
  
"Erm- that just about sums it up," Cho said, hanging her head in defeat, "Well?" Professor Dumbledore, to her surprise, grinned. "There is nothing the school needs more than a good laugh. I think that's a hilarious and fabulous idea," he said, eyes twinkling merrily.  
  
Cho gasped, clearly not expecting this reaction. "Wow, thanks Professor Dumbledore!" she said, smiling widely as she turned and walked off to tell Lucius the new news.  
  
Professor McGonagall then uncovered her ears, which she had not really been covering very carefully. She had, of course, been eavesdropping, and had heard everything. "Albus!" she said, looking appalled, "You just gave Cho Chang- and Lucius Malfoy- permission to exploit each other in front of the entire school! What were you thinking?!"  
  
"I was thinking," said Professor Dumbledore calmly, not worried, but amused by the look on Professor McGonagall's face, "that it's about time this school had a little spicing up." 


	23. Perfect Prefect Percy

A/N- R/R!  
  
Meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away, more commonly known as the other side of the Great Hall, Percy Weasley and Penny Clearwater had just walked away from giving Ginny and Harry and unsuccessful lecture. "So, what do you want to do now?" Penny asked happily, relieved that that episode was over.  
  
Percy started to shrug; then a thought occurred to him. "Wait a minute. Ginny may be the baby of the family, but I have other siblings to lecture too! I mean, Fred and George are completely immature, and Ron is more naïve than Ginny!" he said, looking worriedly at Penny.  
  
Penny groaned inwardly. "Percy honey, you need to relax. They're all going to be fine, and they'll only be worse if you lecture them. So why don't we get some refreshments? Or- we can just skip the dance and go "study" in the common room," she said, hoping to get Percy's mind off messing up their evening, in addition to Fred's, George's, and Ron's.  
  
But Percy being Percy, it didn't work. "No Penny, I really do have a lot of responsibility to my family, as well as to Hogwarts. We really ought to go make sure they're all right," he insisted, taking Penny's arm and leading her to the closest of his brothers, which happened to be Ron.  
  
"Hi Percy," Ron said in a bored tone. "Hi Ron, hi- er- what's your name?" Percy said, turning to Ron and Pansy in turn. "I'm Pansy Parkinson," Pansy said fakely, "and you must be Percy Weasley. What do you want?"  
  
"I just wanted to give you guys a little advice on what you should and shouldn't do tonight," Percy said. Ron looked horrorstruck at this idea, and Pansy was smirking at how embarrassing this would be for Ron. "Penny, help," Ron said sickly, looking pleadingly at Penny.  
  
Penny sighed. "Sorry Ron, there's nothing I can do. My date here is dead set on not letting me have any fun until he lectures all his siblings," she said unhappily, looking pointedly at Percy. Percy didn't even look miffed.  
  
"Yes, well I think it's very important to know your limits at a dance," Percy said. Before he could continue, Pansy interrupted. "Look Weasley. This is going to be the date from hell, I promise. I don't like your brother in the slightest, and he doesn't like me. So don't worry about anything bad happening. I would be just as disgusted as you would. Now if you and your date would do us all a favor and buzz off, we could get back to NOT enjoying our date in peace," she said, annoyed.  
  
Percy looked highly shocked. He actually didn't know what to say for once. So Penny spoke for him. "Well thanks for your time Ron, I'm sorry about this. I'll see you later, I'm sure. We'll be going now," she smiled, and she dragged Percy off before he could say another word.  
  
"That went a whole lot better than I expected," she continued after they were a safe distance away from Ron and Pansy. Percy nodded. "At least that's one brother I don't have to worry about tonight," he said calmly, "Now we just have to talk to Fred and George."  
  
Penny did not look at all pleased. She had thought both Ron and Ginny had gone as well as they could have given the circumstances. They were both pretty young, after all. But Fred and George were sure to be a whole different story. However, there was no reasoning with Percy at this point. So she remained silent, and allowed herself to be dragged off for another lecture, this time with the twins.  
  
But it seemed like Penny was going to get lucky, because scanning around the Great Hall, neither she nor Percy saw Fred or George anywhere. Unfortunately, she wasn't going to get away with things that easily.  
  
"No way are we giving up now," said Percy hotly, "The fact that we don't see them is even worse. They could be anywhere! They could be in the common room, they could be on the grounds, or gods forbid that they're up in the dorms. We're going to look until we find them! Let's get going!"  
  
Penny sighed. "Percy, couldn't we just give up and go sit down on one of those nice, comfortable couches in front of the fire?" she asked hopefully, frowning. As she had expected, though, Percy shook his head vehemently. "No way. I know Fred and George too well. I'm *going* to look, and you're *going* to help me," Percy said. Penny had no choice but to follow him.  
  
While Percy and Penny were looking for the twins, Cho was looking for Lucius. She was almost afraid that he had gotten lost in the kitchens, as it was taking him such a long time to report back to her. Luckily, before she started to panic, she saw him enter the hall. Unfortunately, he had not had the sense to stash the ice creamy items before entering.  
  
She ran over to him and pushed him back out the door. "Lucius, you have to leave the supplies *outside* the Great Hall. Otherwise, people might be onto us!" she exclaimed jumpily. Lucius laughed. He would never have thought of that on his own. It was a good thing Cho was there to keep him in check.  
  
Like she suggested, he stashed the items in a barrel outside the Great Hall. That way, it would be easy to come back for it later, when they put their plan into action. "Okay, so how did your meetings with people on the finer points of our plan go? What happened? Who's doing our bidding?" Lucius asked anxiously after he had finished stashing the supplies.  
  
Cho hesitated before answering. She knew Lucius wouldn't be too impressed with her choice of people. But that was the way the ball rolled. She had to do what she had to do. "Well, I talked to Dumbledore, and he said it was fine," she began, starting with the easy part.  
  
"And may I inquire as to *why* you asked the old fool's permission?" Lucius asked curiously. Cho shrugged. "I didn't want to jeopardize my chances for Head Girl," she admitted. Lucius laughed. It was so *her* to do that.  
  
"Anyway, moving on. The person I chose to give us the dare was Parvati Patil," she said, going with the second easiest. Lucius didn't look worried. "She's that flirty girl, right?" he asked, "She'll do fine. I'm sure people would expect this from her, so it makes our excuse even more plausible. Great. Now, who did you choose to initiate the game of Truth or Dare?"  
  
Cho paused. She knew how much Lucius wouldn't like this. But she figured that it was too late now- what was done was done. "Well," she said, a little hesitantly, "That's going to be Sirius Black."  
  
Lucius arched a perfectly groomed blonde eyebrow. "Sirius Black? What the hell did you choose him for?" he asked, looking a little peeved. Cho had an answer ready. "He was Parvati's date. It was easy and natural. I had to pick him," she said easily, hoping that Lucius wouldn't mind too much.  
  
"Oh," Lucius said, "I guess it's alright then. As long as I don't have to sit anywhere near him. He's a moron, honestly." Cho nodded. She didn't care where Lucius sat. "So now, all we have to do is wait for Sirius to start up the game!" she said, becoming more excited by the minute.  
  
Lucius grinned. He was obviously getting excited too. "Wow. The fate of our plans is in the hand of Sirius Black. We are dead meat," he said sardonically. Cho rolled her eyes and laughed. "We'll deal," she said, and they settled down to wait.  
  
Meanwhile, Percy and a less than happy Penny were marching out of the Great Hall. They barely noticed Lucius and Cho standing near the exit. "Percy, remind me again why I'm going along with this?" Penny asked, bored. Percy smiled. "Because you love me and wouldn't want to let me go by myself?" he suggested. Penny half-nodded. "That and because I don't have a choice," she laughed.  
  
Penny wasn't sure where they were headed, but it became clear as the picture of the Fat Lady came into view. "Password?" she asked, looking sternly down at the pair of them. Percy gave the password, and they walked into the common room together.  
  
"Do you see them? Do you see them?" Percy asked. Penny had to laugh. He sounded like a little kid in a candy store, which was completely ridiculous considering their 'mission'. "No, I don't see them," Penny said, looking around.  
  
They were about to head upstairs to look more (much to Percy's dismay) when they heard a noise. "What was that?" asked Penny, looking a little nervous. Percy looked baffled. "I can't imagine. I'm sure that the house-elves- or *someone*- would have noticed if there was anything- er- unsavory in here. But nevertheless, we should check. We own it to Gryffindor," he said, putting on a brave face.  
  
Penny nodded, although, for some completely unexplainable reason, she looked scared. Percy caught the look on her face. "Don't worry Penny, it'll be fine," he said, offering comfort and caring for the first time that night. Penny smiled. It was nice to know that Percy did care. He was just a very responsible person; that was all. She was very relieved to be reassured that he really did care about her, after all.  
  
Together, holding hands, they walked over to where they had heard the noise. It had been coming from behind a big, comfortable couch facing away from them into the fire. "Okay, on the count of three Penny, we jump onto the couch, and that way, we won't give whatever made the noise any time to react," Percy said, very quietly. Penny nodded, a little calmer now that she felt like Percy would actually protect her from whatever was there.  
  
"One-two-three!" he said, and they hurtled over the back of the couch onto the other side. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Penny as she landed on something. "AHHHHHHHH!" Percy shouted, as he too felt something under him. "AHHHHH!!!!" yelled Fred Weasley, "get off me!" 


	24. Inside Out & Backwards

A/N- Wow, you people are smart! I totally forgot about the five foot rule, and I made it! I apologize, and I promise it won't happen again! And please, if you don't like it, don't flame me! Just a little request. Oh, and also, I'm definitely going to make sure that each couple gets their fifteen minutes of fame. Ally and Sevvie, Percy and Penny, everyone is coming up. I can't type fast enough! Thank you, and here is the chapter! And the next chapter will be TOTALLY TRUTH OR DARE! Don't worry!  
  
"AHHHH!" said Fred again, "Gerroff!" Percy and Penny looked down, noticing for the first time the people they had landed on. "Fred, George, Angelina, Alicia, what are you all doing here?" Penny asked, covering Percy's mouth before he could say anything.  
  
But before Fred, George, or either of their dates could get a word in, Percy bit Penny's hand. In shock, she removed it from his mouth, and before she could do anything, he took both her hands in his. This should have been a romantic gesture, but unfortunately, he only did it so that he could talk to Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia.  
  
"No, don't say anything," Percy said, raising an eyebrow as if daring them to defy him, "as members of the guilty party, you have the right to remain silent. I'll ask the questions, and you answer them."  
  
Fred and George looked at him in embarrassment. This, knowing Percy, would be almost as bad as being lectured by their mother. And that was saying something, considering Mrs. Weasley was the queen of giving them lectures.  
  
"Now first of all, why were you here in the Gryffindor common room, and not in the Great Hall?" Percy began, looking very stern. Penny couldn't help laughing at the look on his face, even though she was annoyed at him now again. Being Percy's girlfriend made it very hard to stay in one mood for very long.  
  
"Actually, it was Oliver and Katie's idea," said Angelina honestly, looking up at Percy, "they suggested we go hang out in the Gryffindor common room for a little while, because the dance was boring."  
  
"I don't buy it. If that's the case, where are Oliver and Katie?" Percy asked, not seeing the pair of them anywhere. Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia exchanged significant glances. Percy waited expectantly. "Well?" he asked impatiently.  
  
Alicia pointed upwards, and George said, "They went upstairs. Only don't tell that we told you, because Oliver said not to. He reckoned you'd be annoyed with them." Percy looked at them in confusion for a second. "Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that- and Oliver- and Katie- and- the dorms?" he asked, suddenly getting what they meant.  
  
The four of guilty party nodded. For a second Percy looked speechless. "Once again, I don't buy it. If Oliver and Katie are up there, then why are you all down here?" he asked, recovering. Fred rolled his eyes. "Because, you prat, they asked us to stay down here for a while!" he said matter-of-factly.  
  
Percy shook his head, "Alright. That is the most made-up story I have ever heard. I'm going to go up to my dorm, which is also Oliver's, and *prove* to you that you are a bunch of liars. Actually, we're all going to go, because that's the way it works around here. Follow me!"  
  
Fred, George, Angelina, Alicia, and Penny all got up, and followed Percy up to the dorm. "Percy, are you sure this is necessary?" Penny asked. She actually believed Fred and George, and did not want Oliver and Percy to get into a fight because Percy was having a little power issue.  
  
Percy nodded that yes, it was necessary. He would have denied it with verve had anyone said so, but he really was feeling particularly power- hungry tonight. However, that wasn't the only thing he was worried about. He was also suddenly feeling very self-conscious about himself, and was a little afraid that Penny would stop liking him. Bossing people around and lecturing them about stuff that he himself was worried about was a good way for him to get rid of his stress. Unfortunately, it was tough on everyone else.  
  
The six of them reached the door to Percy, Oliver, etc.'s dorm only to find that it was closed. "Well, its shut, I guess we should leave now," George said, turning around hopefully. Percy put a hand out to hold him back. "Not a chance, George. I'll knock," he insisted, rapping on the door.  
  
There was no answer. After waiting a minute, Percy knocked again. "Uh, hold on one minute!" came a muffled voice that Angelina and Alicia said they were pretty sure was Katie. "You have sixty seconds, Oliver, and then we're coming in!" Percy said. Penny held back from yelling at him, although he was really being dumb.  
  
After a minute, Percy turned the handle of the door and walked in, followed reluctantly by Penny, Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia. Oliver turned around guiltily, looking at Fred and George rather than Percy, and Katie jumped and tried to smile at Angelina, arms crossed.  
  
"Um- hi Percy," Katie said innocently. Percy nodded to her. "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but what are you all doing here?" Oliver asked, raising his eyebrows. Everyone looked expectantly at Percy, waiting for him to answer. They certainly weren't going to take the heat for him.  
  
When he finally realized that no one was going to answer, Percy spoke up, "Well, we- Penny and I- were looking around the Great Hall for Fred and George. We didn't see them, so we went to look in the Gryffindor common room. We found them, but we thought they were there for substandard reasons, so we asked why they were there. They said it was your idea, and we asked where you were, and they said you were here. And here you are!"  
  
"I don't know what *we* Percy's talking about. *I* tried to convince Percy to do something else, but he insisted," Penny said, clearing things up. Oliver and Katie nodded, and Katie shot a sympathetic look at Penny. "Okay, so," said Percy, taking a breath, "what were you guys doing up here?"  
  
Katie's face went redder even than the trademark Weasley flaming red hair, and Oliver looked like he wanted to hit Percy over the head with a frying pan- in the nicest way, of course. "Percy, do you have to make this embarrassing?" Katie asked pleadingly. Percy nodded. "What can I say? It's in my blood," he said.  
  
"Percy, what do you think we were doing?" Oliver asked, trying to hit Percy with a taste of his own medicine. Percy shrugged, keeping a straight face. Fred and George were not having such an easy time though; they were both sniggering at regular intervals. Angelina and Alicia were trying to be supportive of their friend (Katie) and not laugh, but they were having a hard time too.  
  
"Hey Katie," Fred said, as though talking would stop him from bursting out laughing, "how come your shorts are on inside out?" Everyone immediately looked at Katie's shorts. They were white denim, and it was easy to tell that they were on wrong. Even the tag was clearly visible in the back.  
  
Katie gulped. "I- er-," she managed to get out. "And Oliver," George sniggered, not even bothering to hide the comedy in the situation, "How come your shirt is on backwards?" Oliver looked down. It was true, the tag was right there in the front.  
  
Percy nodded as if Fred and George had just proved his point. "Look Perce, make this quick okay? I heard there was going to be a game of Truth or Dare going on later. I wouldn't want to miss it," Oliver said slightly sarcastically, trying to contain some dignity. "Yes, please," Katie begged, still bright red, "What do we have to do for you to let us off the hook?"  
  
Percy was taken aback. For the past minute, while Fred and George had been embarrassing the couple in trouble, he had been thinking about Penny and how nervous he always was around her. "Sorry about that," he said, snapping back, "What you have to do is admit that you were stupid, and then tell me just how stupid you were."  
  
"Alright, fine!" Oliver yelled, annoyed, "We were stupid! Okay? We were stupid, and we'll be sure to tell you next time before we do this again! Then you can give us your expert advice, since you seem to be so keen on the subject!"  
  
He had, of course, struck a nerve. "What the bloody hell do you know, Oliver?!" Percy yelled. Then he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, Penny following 4 and 9/10 feet behind him.  
  
"Well," said Angelina, "that was interesting." Alicia nodded. "Oh man, you should have seen your face, Oliver!" George said, cracking up, "It was as red as my hair! And you too, Katie, it was hilarious!" Oliver and Katie laughed, now that the tension Percy had been letting in was gone.  
  
"Well, that wasn't as bad as it could have been," Fred admitted, looking at Angelina in particular, "At least *we* didn't get a lecture from Percy on being 'safe'." Angelina nodded ruefully. "Yeah, nice of you to let us take all the heat," Oliver said, turning his shirt around. "Mm hmm, we were happy to do it," Katie smiled, "but Fred, George, could you leave the room? I'd kind of like to fix my shorts. They're really uncomfortable inside out."  
  
"Hey, how come Oliver gets to stay?!" George asked, feigning outrage. Oliver, Angelina, and Alicia laughed. "Why do you think?" Katie said matter- of-factly. "Ah," said Fred smartly as he and George walked out the door, "So, Oliver- how was it?"  
  
Both Katie and Oliver were started up blushing again as Fred and George left the room to laughter. They closed the door and stood outside (less than five feet away from Angelina and Alicia, who were just on the other side of the door, of course).  
  
"Poor Percy. He never got to lecture us," George said, acting disappointed. "Yeah!" said Fred happily, "But I have to feel bad for Penny. She obviously wanted him to pay attention to her, and all he was doing was going around lecturing random people about stuff!" George nodded understandingly. "Yeah, but it'll all work out. Percy's going to have to give in eventually, and you know that Penny's going to work her charm sooner or later," he said wisely. "And when she does," Fred said, thinking on his feet, "we'll be ready for them!" 


	25. Totally Truth or Dare

A/N- Here is the first part of the Truth or Dare chapter! There is MORE TO COME! Please don't cut my heart out with a spoon if you don't like it, it's just for fun! But anyway, I like it! Yup, so here it is- and once again, whether it's this chapter or the next or the one after that, every couple will have "their chance to shine". And for the supporters of Cho and Lucius, they're coming up soon, so don't worry if you don't see them quite yet, it's gotta fit right. So here we go! R/R!  
  
A/N1.5- Okay, so there isn't any Lucius/Cho plan Truth or Dare in this chapter. But I think the whole Truth or Dare game works really well, and besides, it has to be just the right moment, right? So enjoy a little suspense!  
  
A/N2- IMPORTANT- AFTER July 4, 2003, I WILL BE ON VACATION FOR A LITTLE OVER A WEEK, WHERE I WILL NOT BE WITH A COMPUTER. SO IF I DON'T UPDATE FOR A WEEK, IT'S NOT CUZ I FORGOT OR ANYTHING, IT'S BECAUSE I'M AWAY. PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! AND PLEASE DON'T STOP READING, EITHER. I SWEAR ON THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX THAT I WILL BE BACK TO UPDATING IN A LITTLE OVER A WEEK!  
  
And now, on to the story-  
  
While the soap opera of Percy's life was going on up in the dorms, Cho and Lucius were waiting excitedly for Sirius to jump-start their plan. Even from across the room, they could see that Cissa was actually worried, and certainly in a very bad mood.  
  
"This is completely ridiculous," Cissa said to Lupin, "I should not feel threatened. It's stupid; Cho is just a silly little girl. And besides, I don't want to give Lucius the satisfaction of knowing he's getting to me." Lupin nodded, laughing to himself at the look on her face.  
  
"Cissa, why are you telling me this? You hate me, remember?" he asked curiously. Sevvie, Ally, Sirius, and Parvati, who were still standing with them in their little group, nodded, agreeing with Lupin. Cissa laughed, "You're right. For a second, I forgot what I was saying, I was so busy thinking about-"  
  
But Lucius and Cho walked by from across the room right in the middle of her sentence. Instead of continuing with talking while Lucius and Cho looked at her, trying to figure her out, she suddenly wrapped her arms around Lupin's neck and started snogging him with passion. She continued for over two minutes. Lucius looked at them in shock. Finally, he turned away, walking with Cho to a different part of the room, away from Cissa.  
  
As soon as they were out of sight, Cissa released Remus, who was panting for breath. "What the- what was that?" he asked in shock, "Sirius, am I hallucinating? Did I have too much to drink, or did Narcissa Malfoy just snog me senseless?"  
  
Sirius looked stumped for a second. He was looking from Cissa to Lupin, not believing his eyes. He didn't say anything for a second until Parvati playfully tugged his hair; then he snapped out of his reverie. "Whoa. That was some serious snogging, buddy," he said to Remus, "you weren't dreaming. She snogged you senseless! Really! What was up with that, Cissa?"  
  
She looked completely shocked at herself. "I didn't realize I would stoop that low to get back at my husband. I hope you don't mind being my- vengeance to Lucius, Lupin," she said, smirking, "But I had to do it. I'm not going to let Lucius get away with this ridiculous game he's playing at."  
  
"Speaking of games," Sirius said, seizing the opportunity, "Why don't we get a game of Truth or Dare started?" Parvati laughed. "Great idea, Sirius!" she said, smiling, "How about it, everyone?"  
  
Lupin agreed straightaway. No matter how crazy the idea was, if his best friend suggested it, he was game. Snape, however, didn't look pleased. "That game is so stupid!" he said, shaking his head. Sirius made puppy-dog eyes, pouting. "But Sevvie, you promised," he said sweetly. When Snape wouldn't budge, Sirius looked at Ally pleadingly. She turned to Sevvie and whispered something in his ear. "Alright, alright, you've got your way, Black. I'll play," Snape sighed.  
  
"I'm in too," Ally said. Everyone in the group turned to Cissa. She shrugged. "Do I even have a choice?" she asked. Everyone shook their heads. She really didn't. If Lupin was playing, she had to too, because of the five-foot rule. "Great!" said Sirius, self-satisfied, "I'll be right back. Parvati, you're going to have to come with me because of the whole five foot thing."  
  
Parvati looked a little confused, but followed Sirius just the same. "Where are we going?" she asked as he led her to the place where the staff table usually sat, which was slightly higher up than the rest of the hall. "I'm making an announcement," he said, grinning.  
  
Parvati stood at the foot of the staff table platform, and Sirius climbed up so he was standing on it. "Sonorus," he said, and his voice instantly became magnified. "Hey everyone!" he said, smiling, "how are you all doing?"  
  
Almost everyone in the Great Hall looked up at him. "Good," Sirius smiled, "I have your attention. So anyway, I had an idea. I know, I know, what a shock, right? Well anyway, I'm going to be having a game of Truth or Dare in the Gryffindor common room, so anyone who would like to join me, my lovely date Parvati, my best buddy Remmie, and some other people, please meet me by the Fat Lady in two minutes!"  
  
After muttering "quietus" under his breath, he jumped down off the stage, and he and Parvati walked over to their little group. "Well, let's go!" Sirius said excitedly, leading Parvati, Lupin, Cissa, Sevvie, and Ally out of the Great Hall.  
  
Once they got there, there was already a crowd standing there. Sirius, followed by Parvati, pushed his way to the portrait, intending to let everyone in. He was forced to stop, though, when he realized that he didn't know the password. "Oy! Anyone know the password?" he called loudly to the crowd.  
  
Harry and Ginny walked up to Sirius. Harry whispered him the password (he didn't want any Slytherins who might be standing in the crowd to hear). Sirius then told the Fat Lady the password, and she swung open, allowing everyone to pour into the room, settling themselves on couches, chairs, or the floor.  
  
Sirius hung back to ask the Fat Lady a question. "Um, do you think that you could change the password right now so that no one else will be able to come in and interrupt our game?" he asked, making his best innocent face. The Fat Lady turned to him. "And what would you suggest I change it to?" she asked, arching an eyebrow. "How about Sirius Black is hot?" he suggested, laughing.  
  
The Fat Lady shrugged and nodded. Sirius, surprised at the easy response, thanked her and went to sit down next to Parvati. He looked at all the people who had showed up. He was very surprised; he had not known that Truth or Dare would be this popular. It was good that Lucius and Cho had wanted him to get this started up, because he probably would have anyway.  
  
"Alright!" he yelled, catching Cho's 'get the game going' look from a couch, "Let's get this show on the road! It's time for the best Truth or Dare game Hogwarts has ever seen! And there have been a lot! So, who wants to go-"  
  
Before he could continue, everyone's attention diverted to Fred, George, Angelina, Alicia, Oliver, and Katie, who had just walked down the stairs from the dorms and into the common room. "Welcome to Truth or Dare, guys!" Sirius said, "Now take a seat, I was about to ask who wants to go first."  
  
The six newcomers sat down on the floor around an already-full couch. When nobody said anything, Sirius asked again, "So, who wants to go first?" After a second, Fred got a smirk on his face and put his hand up. "I'd be happy to do the honors, Sirius!" he called excitedly.  
  
Sirius grinned. He knew both Fred and George were like Maurauders of the next generation, so he knew that this would be good. "Go right ahead, Fred," he said. Fred grinned. "Okay," he said happily, "Oliver Wood, Truth or Dare?"  
  
George, catching on to his plan, looked up eagerly, waiting to see which Oliver would pick. Katie, Angelina, and Alicia also eyed Fred suspiciously, knowing where he was going. Oliver was weighing his options. Knowing Fred, he knew neither would be good. But he figured (or hoped, at least) that Truth would be slightly safer. "Truth," he said finally, sounding surer of himself than he felt.  
  
Fred smiled in satisfaction. "Great. So Oliver," he said, letting himself linger in an attempt to build up the suspense, "Which base did you and Katie get to tonight, and how was it?" Katie blushed again, redder than ever. Oliver sighed, but was smiling.  
  
"Fred, you are so predictable," he grinned ruefully, "Anyone could have told you that you were going to ask that." Fred laughed. "Yeah, well no matter how obvious it was, you still have to answer," he said, making Oliver too blush.  
  
Everyone looked at Oliver, waiting for him to answer. He was just about to say something when Draco Malfoy interrupted. "Oliver and Katie? Please, everyone knows Oliver is more interested in Percy Weasley," he drawled, sniggering at his own twisted sense of humor.  
  
"Come on, Malfoy, was that really necessary?" Oliver asked slightly darkly, still remembering how Percy had embarrassed him only a little while before. "Yeah Malfoy, I mean, Percy may be interested in guys, but we all know Oliver's as straight as I am!" George said, cracking himself up. "Well then, point proven," Draco said coolly, causing Hermione to give him an aggravated look.  
  
"Alright, whatever," Fred said, looking at Oliver, "just answer the question!" Oliver relented. "Okay, fine Fred. This little piggy went wee- wee-wee, all the way home," he said, laughing. Katie's eyebrow rose so high Cho thought they were going to fly off her head. But luckily, she was able to have a sense of humor about it.  
  
"Oliver, I believe you forgot to tell them how it was. I think was part of Fred's question, wasn't it?" she said coyly. This time, instead of Katie going red, it was Oliver's turn. "Fred, have I mentioned lately that you're a total jerk?" he asked sarcastically, but not really meaning it.  
  
Fred grinned, "Not lately, Oliver, but I'm always happy to hear it! Your lady was right though, I believe I *did* ask that. Now answer me, or it'll get ugly!" At this, Draco Malfoy snorted, and he didn't need to say a word for everyone to realize what he was thinking.  
  
"Alright, it was great. It was really great. Really really great. I mean, never better. Ever. Bloody brilliant. Fabulous. Totally wonderful. Do I have to go on," Oliver asked, smiling at Katie, who beamed back. "All together everyone- AWWWWWWW!!" Fred laughed.  
  
"I think it's my turn to dare or truth someone," Oliver said, looking around at the group of people, "who should I do?" At this, Draco gave another snigger. "Okay, let's hear from the twisted sense of humor of the group. Malfoy, Truth or Dare?" Oliver asked, looking forward to giving the blonde a taste of his own medicine.  
  
Draco looked taken aback. Hermione as his date laughed appreciatively at this, because from the start of their evening, she had felt someone really needed to give the stuck-up jerk what he deserved. Which, in her opinion, was a good kick in the @$$, but this would hopefully be almost as good.  
  
Draco had to seriously consider whether to pick Truth or Dare. Knowing Oliver, neither one would be very good. He figured, though, that Truth would be worse than Dare. Oliver, unfortunately, wouldn't be stupid enough to ask him something easy as a Truth. He'd probably try to think of something really personal, like a secret Draco wouldn't want anyone to know. And so Draco figured, if he picked Dare, he wouldn't have as much to worry about. "I'll take Dare," he replied in a voice much more confident than he felt.  
  
Oliver smiled something that looked remotely like a smirk. "Alright Malfoy. You had this coming, you really did. I feel very sorry for Mione, having to be your date tonight. Unfortunately, I'm not the best at thinking up dares, so this isn't going to be as good as I would hope. But anyway. I dare you to sing I'm Too Sexy while stripping down to your boxers." He said as though daring Draco to refuse.  
  
Draco's normally pale face flushed brilliant pink. He didn't move. "If you're too scared to do the dare, Malfoy, I could always give you a Truth instead," Oliver suggested, eyes glinting. Malfoy caught the look, and shook his head, knowing that whatever Truth Oliver could dream of had the definite possibility of being worse.  
  
"Then let's go then!" Oliver said. Draco stood up. Rising to the occasion, Sirius, Fred, George, Harry, Ron, and a fair amount of other people were chanting "GO! GO!" at the top of their lungs. Pansy Parkinson, sitting next to Ron, was looking excited, as were some other Slytherin girls. Draco's parents were a different story. Lucius looked as though he found the whole thing funny, but couldn't have cared less. Cissa looked shocked. Finally, when he could no longer ignore the "GO!" chant, and Oliver's pushing, Draco started up.  
  
"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts!" he sang a little nervously, as he took of his shirt to reveal a six pack. Some girls started screaming, but a lot of the girls (Gryffindors especially) looked disgusted with the show, and most of the boys involved in the game were laughing too hard to notice.  
  
"And I'm too sexy for Milan, too sexy for Milan, New York and Japan!" he sang, more confidently, this time awkwardly reaching down to take off his socks to throw at Oliver's head. Oliver wrinkled his nose, Pansy Parkinson shrieked with laughter at the look on his face, and everyone else continued watching Draco fulfill the Dare.  
  
"I'm too sexy for your party, too sexy for your party, no way I'm disco dancing!" Draco crooned, laughing to himself as he took off a wristband he had been wearing and threw it to Pansy, who caught it to jealous looks from the other Slytherin girls.  
  
And on it went. Finally, Draco had taken off his shirt, his socks, his shoes, his wristband, his belt, and was down to just his pants, and of course his boxers underneath. This meant that he only had one thing left to throw to complete the Dare. Strangely, although he had been steadily gaining confidence and even having fun during the whole time he had been singing, he seemed reluctant to continue with the end.  
  
But he could not ignore the chants of "GO!", or the smirk he knew would grace Oliver's face if he didn't finish. So he sang, "And I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love, love's going to leave me! And I'm too sexy for this song!" And as he sang the last line, he tossed his pants over by a couch, revealing white boxer shorts with red lip prints all over them.  
  
Everyone burst out laughing. Even Pansy was trying with no avail to hide a snigger. "Those are some really great boxers, Malfoy!" Sirius called through the noise, "Did Daddy give them to you?" Lucius glared at Sirius. "No Black," he snarled, "Daddy did not give him them. You ought to know that I would never buy such a sissy pair of boxers, especially not for my own son!"  
  
Sirius snickered. "Yeah, I suppose you'd let Sevvie buy them for you," he said, looking over at Snape. "Why you-" Snape said, standing up angrily, but Ally Sinistra grabbed his arm. Interestingly enough, he listened to her, and sat back down. Sirius was very taken aback. "Wow. Since when do you listen to anybody but the little voices in your head, Sev?" he asked, laughing. Snape contemplated this for a second. "Since now," he said, and left it at that.  
  
After Draco had collected all his clothes and put them back on slightly embarrassedly, he said in a spoiled tone, "It's my turn to dare someone!" Everyone laughed at how stupid he sounded. "Then what are you waiting for, ask someone!" Hermione said obviously. Draco flushed slightly, realizing she was right.  
  
"Okay---Ron Weasley, Truth or Dare?" Draco asked sneeringly, causing Ron to get a very nervous look on his face, and Hermione to shoot him a look of sympathy. Ron debated. Truth or Dare, Truth or Dare? With Malfoy, either one was sure to be torture. He figured Truth would be worse though. Malfoy could ask him something really awful. "Dare," he said squeakily, looking queasy.  
  
Malfoy's smirk widened, making Ron regret ever deciding to play. Malfoy, unfortunately for Ron, was cunning and smart as well as mean, and knew just how to make Dare just as embarrassing for Ron as Truth would have been, if not more so.  
  
"Alright Weasel. I Dare you to switch underwear for the rest of the game with the person playing that you have the biggest crush on. And if you lie- I'm sure I could find someone who'd be willing to lend a little Veritaserum," Draco drawled, enjoying the effect of these words on Ron, who went pale now, rather than red.  
  
"Um- uh- um," Ron stuttered. Draco looked at him, faking concern. "Aw, Weasley, if you're too much of a scaredy-cat, we can think of something else," he said snidely. Ron shook his head, and Hermione looked at Draco, thinking to herself that he was even meaner than she had thought. "No, I'll do it," Ron gulped resolutely.  
  
Draco nodded, pleased. He was really looking forward to this. "Good," he said happily, "go on then, ask whoever it is if they would mind switching underwear with you. Not that they can refuse, of course. This is, after all, Wizards Truth or Dare. But it does you so much to be polite and ask first."  
  
Ron, looking almost as sick as he had when he had accidentally put the Slug-Belching charm on himself, got up and walked the short distance over to his crush. "Hermione?" he asked nervously, "Can we- er- switch underwear?"  
  
Hermione looked away from Draco, who she had been glaring at, and turned to Ron, blushing redder than Katie had when she had been caught with Oliver. "Well Mudblood, I guess the Weasel has made his decision," Draco said, laughing, "why don't you two just go right into that bathroom over there [he motioned to the bathroom a few feet away from the fireplace] and switch."  
  
"DON'T call her a Mudblood!" Ron said instinctively, making Hermione go scarlet again. "It's okay Ron," Hermione said, but she was smiling, "Let's just get this over with." They walked toward the bathroom, but they had only gotten five feet away from the group when they suddenly saw silver sparks fly out of nowhere, and Pansy and Draco were lifted from their seats and over to Ron and Hermione, respectively.  
  
"What the bloody hell was that?" Ron asked, surprised. Hermione gave him a look that clearly said 'watch your mouth'. "I think we went too far away from our partners," Hermione said smartly. She was right. "Well Malfoy, I guess that means we're going to have to call off the Dare," she said, showing no emotion, neither pleased nor disappointed.  
  
Malfoy shook his head. "You underestimate me, Mudblood," he drawled. "DON'T call her that!" Ron said again, looking really annoyed. "Pardon me Weasel, I meant to say Granger. Anyway," Draco continued, "as I was saying, Pansy and I can just stand outside the door while you two make the switch. So, no excuses. Get in there, and switch."  
  
Both Ron and Hermione glared at him, but had no choice but to walk into the bathroom, only too aware of the peering eyes of the whole room. Hermione shut the door behind them, and was relieved to have it be just her and Ron, as opposed to her, Ron, and the whole world.  
  
"Whoa!" Ron said, looking around, "so this is what a real girl's loo like! Moaning Myrtle's toilets were cheap! There's even a couch in here!" His eyes fell on the couch, which looked so inviting that he promptly sat down on it, wishing that the boy's bathrooms had this sort of 'luxury'.  
  
"Honestly Ron, sometimes I think you don't know anything," Hermione said, laughing at how excited Ron was getting over a stupid couch. Apparently, Ron, in his excitement over the couches, had forgotten that Hermione was even there, because he jumped with a start when she said that.  
  
"So," he said nervously, "I guess we're in here on a mission, not just to sit on the couch, huh?" Hermione nodded, suddenly looking just as nervous. "I cannot believe Draco is actually going to make us do this. This is really going to be embarrassing," she murmured, looking down at her hands.  
  
"Hey, at least we're friends. It's not as if I'd do this with Pansy or somebody," Ron said as though that decided the matter. Hermione nodded. "Well let's get a move on," she said. Ron nodded, and started to take off his jeans. "Ron! Oh my god, I'm way too nervous, how about we go into the stalls and hand the underwear to each other?" she suggested quickly and nervously.  
  
Ron blushed, and immediately walked into a stall. Hermione followed suite. "Er-here you go," said Ron after a second, handing her a pair of boxers over the stall wall. Hermione took them and looked at them. She was happy to see that they did not have lips on them, like Malfoy's had, but were orange, with the words "Chudley Cannons" printed around them.  
  
Hermione quickly slipped into them, and then, blushing furiously, handed Ron her own underwear. "Hermione," Ron said, aghast, "you were wearing a thong!" Hermione nodded, and then realizing Ron couldn't see her through the stalls, said, "Yes" in a small voice.  
  
"See," she said a little louder, "It was because I was wearing red. Since I was, Parvati insisted that it was very important that I wear red underwear with it. And well, I didn't have any, so Parvati told me she had just bought a new pair that she hadn't opened yet, and she lent it to me, and well, that was it!"  
  
Ron held back laughter. "Oh," he said, as though that explained everything, "Well that makes it rather- inconvenient, but I'll manage." He trailed off, and this time it was Hermione who giggled. When they were both dressed, they walked out of the stalls at the same time. "Hermione, next time could you wear some more normal sized underwear, this isn't very comfortable," Ron said matter-of-factly.  
  
"Excuse me," Hermione grinned, "I didn't actually realize we'd be switching underwear tonight, and I also didn't realize there would be a next time." Ron suddenly realized what he had just implied, and flushed for what had to be the millionth time that night. "Anyway, Hermione," Ron gulped, as though he had never talked to her in his life, "D'you think- maybe- you might like to- go with me to Hogsmeade sometime?"  
  
Hermione looked at him, surprised. He looked back as though terrified she was going to laugh at him, or say no way. Hermione shook her head at how thick Ron could be sometimes. "Ron," she said, laughing happily, "As much as I think sometimes you don't know anything, sometimes you do." And she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. Ron's face immediately matched his hair, but he grinned very happily, rubbing his cheek as they opened the door and walked out to the crowd.  
  
"You two took an awfully long time in there," Draco drawled as soon as they were out, "What happened in there?" Hermione looked at him irritably. "That is absolutely none of your business, Malfoy, and if you knew what was good for you, you'd shut up," she said, twirling her unusually straight hair around one finger.  
  
Before Malfoy could say anything back, Pansy broke in. "Wait," she said as though she had just discovered gravity, "how do we know they actually made the switch?" Malfoy's eyes widened. "You're brilliant, Pansy, genius!" he said, thinking on his feet, "We're going to need some proof. So, you'll each whisper to me what underwear you have on right now, and what underwear you started with. If they match, I'll know you're telling the truth. If not, I'll know you're lying."  
  
Hermione bit her lip. The last thing she wanted Draco to know was her underwear story. But she wasn't about to mess up Ron's dare, so she agreed, and so did Ron. Once they had both whispered both answers, Draco turned to the crowd, who was looking eagerly at him. "Did they really do it?" asked Parvati curiously. Everyone else was asking the same question.  
  
Draco got that familiar smirk back on his face. "Yes, they did," he said, sniggering, "And right now, Hermione is wearing orange Chudley Cannons boxers, and Ron is wearing a red thong!" Hermione and Ron both blushed, and looked at each other, laughing embarrassedly.  
  
Harry and Ginny both winced, thinking of how embarrassing this must be for two of their best friends. However, Fred and George were positively hysterical, and almost everyone else was sniggering appreciatively as well.  
  
"Well Ron, it's your turn," Draco said as he, Hermione, Pansy and Ron went back to their seats, "So who'll it be?" Ron thought a second, and then a perfect answer came to him. "Oy! George! Truth or Dare?" he asked, grinning cheekily. 


	26. Chasers, Keepers, Quaffles, & Hoops

A/N- I'M BACK! FINALLY! I MISSED IT! Sorry it took me so long. Actually it was just over a week, but still. I'm back now, and I'll try to update like crazy! BTW, if you are a Lucius and Cho fan, they are soon to come, just hold on for this li'l interlude. And since that's what it is, I apologize for the shortness of the chapter. And now, on to the story.  
  
George looked at Ron, surprised. He would have thought his little brother would be more likely to pick Hermione or Harry than him. And frankly, he didn't like the way Ron was looking at him, like he had just swallowed a Canary Cream and stayed feather-free. But it was Truth or Dare, after all, and he had no choice but to pick one or the other. Besides, he had a reputation to uphold!  
  
"Alright Ron, if you insist," he said easily, "I pick Dare." Ron looked a little taken aback, as if he had thought that he would refuse. But then his eyes lit up, and he got a great idea. "Fred, come 'ere, tell me if this sounds good," he said, motioning for Fred to come over. He whispered his idea to Fred, who fell over to the floor laughing. "Uh-oh," George said, but he wasn't all that worried.  
  
"Ron, that's the best idea you've ever had! There's still hope for you!" Fred grinned, walking back to his seat. Ron smiled. "Okay George. I Dare you to give your own version of the "Birds and the Bees" talk to Oliver and Katie. If you laugh, you have to kiss a person of my choice. Now let's go!" he said excitedly.  
  
George hadn't even started talking yet, and he already looked like he was having a really hard time not laughing. "Oliver, Katie, come over here. I have a really important talk I need to have with you," George said seriously. Oliver and Katie walked over to him, sniggering. "Yes George?" they asked innocently.  
  
"Okay. Let's talk about Quidditch," he said, the edges of his mouth turning up. Katie's eyes widened, and Oliver started laughing. "Enlighten us!" he said, acting excited. George smiled as much as he figured he would be allowed without having to kiss a person that Ron chose, and began his talk.  
  
"Okay," he said, willing himself not to laugh, "Guys are like a Chaser on one team, right? And girls are like the Keeper of the other team. Only not Slytherin. Probably Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, because we're all friends.  
  
Now, the Chasers are always trying to get the Quaffle through the other team's hoops. And this takes a lot of skill, believe it or not. It's hard to aim right. And of course, the other team's Keeper would get mad if you knocked to Quaffle into the side of the goal, or hit them in the face with the ball. That would hurt, and that would be bad, because then the Chaser might get banned from the team, which would be no fun.  
  
Now most of the time, while the Chaser is trying as hard as he can to score with the Quaffle, the Keeper is trying to block the ball. That's because allowing a lot of Chasers to score would give the Keeper a bad reputation on the pitch.  
  
But there are certain Chasers that the Keeper might let score, because they, um, like each other. And this would only be appropriate at certain times. For example, if you just scored for a different team and got in trouble, you shouldn't attempt it right away. But if the time is right, you can try to get the Quaffle through the hoops. And if it really is the right time, then the Keeper just might let you.  
  
But it's important to wait for the right Chaser or Keeper. Otherwise, the Quaffle might not go straight through the hoops. But if you find the right Chaser or Keeper and it still doesn't, then, well, you can put a certain charm on it- to make it work better. So that's that! Have fun playing Quidditch, you two!"  
  
He stopped talking, and everyone started cracking up. Ron and Fred were both dying of laughter. Oliver and Katie were crying from laughing so hard. Even Draco was having trouble stopping laughing. "Ron, can I please laugh now?" George asked, still keeping a straight face. Ron nodded, because he was laughing to hard to say a word.  
  
"That was the best Dare ever!" Sirius said grinning, "George, I couldn't have done better myself!" George, still sniggering, thanked him very much. "Now I get to do someone, right?" he asked excitedly. Draco sniggered. "Honestly, Weasley, and after you just gave that lecture, too?! I'm surprised at you," he said, sneering.  
  
George rolled his eyes. "That's great Malfoy, thanks a bunch. Alright. So, Pansy Parkinson, Truth or Dare?" he asked, smirking at her. She wrinkled her nose. The only reason she was playing this game was to have Ron be embarrassed and to be around Draco. She really hadn't been planning on being chosen.  
  
"I guess I'll take Dare," she said, a little nervous in spite of herself. George Weasley might have no shame, but she actually did, as hard as that might be to believe. George grinned. "Alright Pansy. This is going to be a little two-part Dare. First you do the first part, and then I'll tell you the second part," he said sneakily.  
  
Conjuring up a stuffed teddy bear from thin air, he said, "For part one, all you have to do is snog the teddy bear however you want for at least two minutes. I'm going to watch you closely, starting- now!"  
  
He handed her the teddy bear, and she started to snog him. Everyone who had been cracking up at George was now laughing at Pansy. She was making a real show of it, as though he was a real person. She started off with a typical snog, and then started kissing him all over the place.  
  
It went on for over two minutes. She kept thinking of more unusual ways to snog the teddy bear (nothing totally sick though). Finally, George called, "Stop!" She handed him the teddy bear, and sat back, able to make fun of herself. There was nothing for her to be embarrassed about. She had expected something much more awkward from a Weasley twin. She had forgotten that there was going to be a part two.  
  
"Well Pansy, I bet you had fun with that. I know we all enjoyed watching you," George sniggered, "but your Dare isn't over yet. You now have to snog Draco exactly the same way."  
  
Pansy gasped, and Draco flushed pink. "Weasley!" he said, unable to think of anything to say. Lucius, meanwhile, was looking murderously at George. "Alright Pansy, we're waiting," George said, unable to hold back a laugh.  
  
Draco had no choice but to walk over to Pansy. Hermione also moved a little bit closer, so that they wouldn't break the five foot rule. Pansy was now blushing furiously, and Ron, who had known the only two reasons she had wanted to play Truth or Dare, was laughing, happy that her plan had backfired.  
  
After another prompt from George, Pansy started to snog Draco. He returned the snog, of course. In fact, as she continued, he looked like he was really enjoying himself. This was much better than watching that stupid teddy bear get all the action, in his opinion. The only problem he had with it was that a whole lot of people, including his parents, were watching him.  
  
And both Lucius and Cissa looked disgusted that it was their son in the Dare getting what was probably the snog of his life. "This is so completely humiliating," Cissa whispered to Lupin. He tried to look serious and sorry for her, but he just had to laugh, which earned him a slap.  
  
"Ow!" he said quietly, rubbing his cheek. Sirius, who was sitting right near them, looked over and sniggered. "Slap her back!" he grinned, causing Cissa to reach over and yank his ponytail. "Ow! You're violent!" Sirius said, attempting to fix his hair.  
  
Finally, George yelled, "That's enough!" and they broke apart. Draco walked back to his seat, and Pansy sat back in hers. They were both out of breath. "That was a great show, guys," George said happily, noting the looks on everyone's faces. "Thanks a bunch," Pansy said sarcastically, arching an eyebrow at him.  
  
"Well, it's your turn to Truth or Dare someone," Lupin said between sniggers. Pansy nodded. She hadn't forgotten. "Hmm. Parvati Patil, Truth or Dare?" she asked. Parvati smiled, which really annoyed Pansy, who was hoping that she was going to be annoyed. Of course, she wasn't smiling because she was going to have to do Pansy's Dare. She was smiling because now she was going to get to Dare Cho. But Pansy didn't know that.  
  
"I'd like Dare," Parvati said bravely. Pansy frowned. "Fine. This is going to be good though. I Dare you to French kiss Sirius's belly button!" she said, laughing. Sirius's eyes widened, but he didn't look worried. Parvati started giggling uncontrollably. "Are you serious?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. Pansy nodded, trying to keep a straight face.  
  
"Sirius, you're going to need to take your shirt off for this," Pansy said, smirking. Sirius smiled easily, took his shirt off, and handed it to Lupin, who was sitting next to him. "Alright Parvati, let's go," Pansy sneered.  
  
Blushing slightly, Parvati leaned over to Sirius. "Here goes nothing," she said, grinning as she started to snog his belly button. Sirius started laughing halfway through. "It tickles!" he said, pretending to squeal. Lupin tried to stifle his laughter into Sirius's shirt, and everyone else wasn't even bothering to hide it.  
  
After another minute, Parvati sat back up and promptly fell over laughing. "That was the weirdest Dare I've ever done," she said truthfully, "Wasn't it weird, Sirius?" Sirius shrugged, laughing as he put his shirt back on. "It was totally weird," he said, grinning, "but I can't say I didn't enjoy it!"  
  
"Anyway," he continued pointedly, "I guess it's your turn to Dare somebody, Parvati." Parvati nodded, remembering her duties. "Hey Cho, Truth or Dare?" she asked, smiling. 


	27. Luscious Lucius

A/N- Finally, the Lucius/Cho chapter is here! Yay! Only, it's kinda odd, ya know, so please don't flame me if you don't like it, k? Thanks a bunch! R/R! Oh, thank you so much for the reviews, they were really great. I'll try to keep updating as fast as I can. If you have anything in particular you want to happen, feel free to review it to me!  
  
Cho grinned at Parvati, who winked back. Lucius was finally perking up after watching his son act like an idiot in front of everyone twice. And Sirius was cracking up for what everyone except Cho, Lucius, and Parvati thought was no good reason.  
  
"I'll take Dare, please," Cho said without hesitation. Parvati smiled. She remembered everything Cho had told her. "Okay Cho. I Dare you to make a human ice cream sundae out of Lucius--- and then eat it off!" she squealed, as though she had just come up with the most brilliant idea ever.  
  
Cho gasped, pretending to look shocked. "Parvati, that's crazy!" she said, laughing, "Are you serious?" Parvati nodded with a glint in her eye. "Cho, why don't you go get the ingredients?" she suggested, nodding toward the door. Cho smiled as she got up to get the ingredients from the barrel in the Great Hall where she and Lucius had stashed them.  
  
"Parvati, you cannot be serious," Draco tried to reason with her, "that's completely ridiculous!" Parvati just beamed. "Don't worry Draco, there's no way your father would ever let that silly little girl do something like that to him," Cissa smirked, more talking to Lucius than Draco.  
  
Draco shook his head, thinking that his mum didn't know his dad all that well if she thought that he was going to refuse to take part in this Dare. And he was right. "You have to be kidding me, Cissa," Lucius said sneeringly, "If neither one of us are any threat, than it shouldn't bother you if we go through with this."  
  
Cissa frowned. "You know, he has you caught," Lupin said, adding his two pence. "Nobody asked your opinion, Remus," Cissa said, but she was no longer the cool, calm, collected person of five minutes ago. Lupin shrugged, but didn't say anything else. He didn't want to push his luck.  
  
A minute later, Cho returned, carrying the whipped cream, chocolate sauce, cherries, and half a container of strawberry ice cream. "The bananas got smashed, and half the ice cream melted," Cho explained to Parvati, "but I figured it would still work." Parvati nodded. It really didn't matter to her what they used, as long as Cho got to do her Dare.  
  
"Alright, we have all the ingredients," Parvati said, "So Lucius, come on over here to the middle of the circle, give your shirt to someone else to hold, and lay down." Lucius walked over, Cho following behind. In the middle of the circle made by all the people playing, Lucius took off the shirt that he had spent forever picking out. "Sev, hold this!" he called, tossing the shirt to Snape, who missed it.  
  
"Here you go," Ally said, handing him the shirt. Snape took it, and didn't say anything for a second. He just sat there. "You're welcome," she giggled, touching his shoulder. Instead of saying "thank you" like any typical person would, Snape said, "Damn." Laughing, Ally leaned back against the couch to watch Cho's Dare take place, and after a second, Snape did the same.  
  
Once Lucius had lain down in the middle of the circle, Parvati nodded to Cho, who sat down next to him and started to make an ice cream sundae. Stupidly, Lucius had forgotten to get an ice cream scoop when he was down in the kitchens, and so Cho had to use her hands to scoop out the strawberry ice cream.  
  
"Damn, I love strawberry ice cream!" Lucius said, eyeing the container excitedly. Without missing a beat, Cho took a little bit of the remaining strawberry ice cream out of the container and put it in Lucius' mouth. He grinned, trying to catch a glimpse of Cissa's face. Unfortunately, from his place on the floor, he couldn't see it. However, from the happy look on Cho's face, he knew their plan was working well already.  
  
Once Cho had used up the rest of the container, she shook up the can of whipped cream and took off the top. She had a lot of fun squirting it all over Lucius' stomach. Once she had covered most of it, she stopped with that, and moved on to the chocolate sauce, which she used up at least half the full bottle of.  
  
Finally, all that was left were the cherries. "I love cherries," Cho said, tipping her head back and eating one herself. "Me too," Lucius said in surprise, ogling her. "I absolutely cannot stand cherries," Cissa snapped suddenly, making Lupin, who had been watching quietly, jump.  
  
Cho made a heart shape on top of the sundae using about six cherries. "There, I'm all done," she said, placing the cherry jar aside and attempting to dust off her hands. "I wouldn't bother, Cho, you still have to eat it off," Parvati laughed.  
  
Pausing and licking her lips before she ate her dessert, Cho looked around the room. Fred, George, Sirius, and Remmie were dying of laughter. Ally was giggling, and Snape was staring at her. Draco, of course, was looking seriously disgusted. And Cissa was looking very threatened.  
  
"Well, go ahead! Your dessert waits," Parvati said, smiling. Cho nodded, and leaned down over her "sundae". Lucius lay back and relaxed, *really* enjoying himself as Cho ate off the cherries first. Then, moving on, she licked of all the chocolate sauce, which was harder than you'd think, because chocolate sauce is sticky.  
  
All Cho had to do was breathe in, and she was able to suck the whipped cream off. "Mmm," she said, making sure Cissa could see her lick her lips again. "Mmm," Lucius said, causing Cissa to glare at him, although from his place, he couldn't see it. Finally, all that remained was the strawberry ice cream, which Cho licked off as slowly as possible.  
  
When she was finished, Parvati clapped for her. A lot of other people joined in clapping too. Among the few that didn't applaud were Draco, and, of course, Cissa. "That was the greatest!" Sirius choked out between laughs, "I've never look at an ice cream sundae the same way!"  
  
"Neither will I," Cissa said, frowning angrily. "Neither will I," Draco said, looking sick. Hermione looked haughtily at him. "You know you had this coming, Malfoy," she said, a sneer playing the corners of her lips. Draco, who was too humiliated to retort, gave her an evil glare.  
  
"That was the best ice cream sundae I've ever been part of," Lucius drawled, looking pointedly at Cissa, who looked back at him, pouting. She had never been more shocked in her life. After thinking for so long that Lucius was no threat, she couldn't believe what had just happened.  
  
Worst of all, she knew it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been so sure of herself. As soon as the game was over, she was really going to have to talk to him. Not that she was going to apologize- her pride wouldn't allow that. But there were a few things they both needed to clear up.  
  
"I think it's your turn to Dare someone, Cho. Can I make a suggestion? Wait, first can I have my shirt back, Sev?" Lucius asked. Snape threw Lucius back his shirt, and he put it on. Surprisingly, there wasn't much of the sticky sundae left on him. Cho had done a pretty good job getting it all off. Once it was on, Cho leaned over to him, and he whispered his Truth or Dare suggestion in her ear. "That's the best idea!" she squealed, looking around the room.  
  
Everyone stared at her, wondering who she would pick, and hoping their Dare wouldn't be as embarrassing as hers was. "Professor Snape, Truth or Dare?" Cho asked eagerly, laughing as she saw him flush and look nervously around.  
  
Sevvie grit his teeth. He had known playing Truth or Dare would be a bad idea. Honestly, he was surprised he had gotten away without being picked for so long. He would have thought Harry, Ron, Hermione, or any one of the Gryffindors he taught would pick him as revenge.  
  
Then again, he should have guessed that it would be Lucius's brilliant idea to pick him. But now he was stuck. He could pick Truth or he could pick Dare, but he had to pick one, and he knew whatever he chose, Lucius would give Cho one of his signature evil ideas. So, knowing he was dead meat either way, he went with the more traditional one, at least according to this game. "Dare," he sighed, looking angrily at Lucius.  
  
Lucius grinned, and whispered something to Cho, which made Sevvie even more anxious. "Okay Professor Snape, this is your Dare," Cho said, acting innocent, "I Dare you to feed three grapes that I will conjure to Professor Sinistra. The catch is, you can't use your hands, and she can't use her hands to help you."  
  
"You're kidding. You are absolutely kidding me. Damn you, Lucius Malfoy," Sevvie said as he and Ally walked to the center of the circle, where they sit down. Cho put three grapes on the floor next to them. "Let's see you pull it off," Lucius drawled, "good luck!"  
  
"You are absolutely not using your feet to feed me grapes, just so you know," Ally laughed as Snape's hand moved toward his shoes. He crossed his arms and scowled at her. "Then what do you expect me to use?" he asked edgily, apparently stumped. She thought a second. "Well I don't think you really have any other option but to use your lips," she said shyly, causing Sirius to collapse into laughter again.  
  
"Shut the hell up, Black," Sevvie said, but that only made him laugh harder, and this time, Fred and George joined in. "We're waiting, Professor," Cho said calmly. He rolled his eyes, and bent his head down to the floor, picking up the first grape with his lips. Slowly, he moved his head over to Ally's and she made as if to kiss him, taking the grape from him instead.  
  
"That worked well," she said after eating grape #1, "One down, two to go." Blushing, Sevvie bent down to pick up the second grape. This one too went off without a hitch. "This is too easy," he said self-satisfiedly, looking pointedly at both Lucius and Sirius. "You still have one grape left," Sirius laughed, "Let's see if this one goes as well!"  
  
Figuring that no problems would arise, Snape bent down, picked up the third grape with his lips, and leaned toward Ally. Before she could take it, though, it slipped out of his mouth and onto the floor. "Let me try this again," he said, and as Ally giggled quietly, he picked up the grape again, and tried to give it to her. Halfway to her lips, it fell out of his mouth again, as if by magic. This time, though, it didn't land on the floor.  
  
It rolled down her neck, stopping right where, if it had moved another centimeter, it would have rolled into her shirt. Magically, it stopped stock still right before it did. In fact, Sevvie thought, a little too magically. Looking around, he noticed Sirius Black laughing even harder than he had been before, and his hand was holding something in his front pocket.  
  
"What's that in your pocket you're holding, Black?" Snape asked, eyeing him suspiciously. Sirius grinned innocently. "Nothing I want to tell you about," he said simply as Remmie conjured halos over both their heads. "Let it go, Sev, just feed Ally the grape and get it done," Lucius said impatiently.  
  
Shaking his head at Sirius's immaturity, but deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt for now, he bent down very slowly to retrieve the grape. Just as his lips reached it, it shot up into the air, and he wound up kissing Ally right where the grape had been a second ago. "That was nice," she whispered sincerely, making his face go even redder.  
  
"Sirius Black, you put that bloody grape back on the ground this second," Snape snapped, eyes flashing. "Don't get your undies in a bunch, Sevvie, I was just kidding," Sirius said, and Lupin put halos over their heads again. Another glare from Snape, however, was all it took for Sirius to put the third grape back down on the ground where it had started.  
  
Sevvie bent down to pick it up. Once it was secure in between his lips, he passed it to Ally who took it. She must have swallowed it whole, because he hadn't even had time to move away when she started to snog him. After a second, they broke apart to scattered applause and laughter.  
  
Snape looked around, trying to catch any student who had laughed. He wanted to make sure to remember to dock points from their houses later on. And he would definitely be taking fifty from Ravenclaw for Cho Chang's stupidity in listening to Lucius. Now though, he had to figure out who to Dare. 


	28. Sirius Black is Hot

A/N- I had a long debate over who Sevvie should Truth or Dare. It was soooooooo hard! Well, not really. But kind of. Alright though, I'm going to shut up now and write. And I'm sorry that it takes me longer to update this story than the survey one. It's just that this one is a lot more well written (I hope), so I have to work harder on it. Also, I have to think of crazy Truth or Dare questions and stuff. Also, sorry if the questions are odd. Anyway, I'll shut up now for real, and here's the chapter. The next one is soon to come! R/R!  
  
A/N- Does anyone else find it incredibly annoying that the site crashed for like, two or three days? I couldn't update at all! Sorry!  
  
It wasn't too hard for Sevvie to figure out who he would choose. Although he had to admit it would have been fun to do Harry, Ron, Hermione, or one of the Gryffindors who seemed to live to get him annoyed, he wasn't going to. No, that wouldn't work. It would be a lot easier to pick someone his own age, so he wouldn't have to hold any shot that he had back. So that explained his very appropriate choice.  
  
"Sirius Black, Truth or Dare?" Snape asked, smirking at him. Sirius didn't even blink. In fact, he actually looked excited at the prospect of being Truth or Dared. "I'll take Dare," he said animatedly. Everyone looked on eagerly as Snape thought of a Dare. Just about everyone in the room knew their rivalry went back to when the two of them had first started at Hogwarts, and knew that, especially after the grape incident, Sevvie would be eager to get back at Sirius.  
  
After a minute, Snape's eyes lit up. He had come up with what he thought was a brilliant idea. "Okay Black, this is it," he said eagerly, "Now I understand that your brain is a little cramped behind that ego of yours, so you might not get it, because it's a little complicated. It's also not at all my usual style, its more Lucius' style, so I don't know how I thought of it. But anyway, this is it.  
  
You, Black, are going to sit in the chair in the middle of our little circle, and I'm going to blindfold you. Once you're blindfolded, I'll select someone to come take your pants off, leaving your boxers on, of course, we don't need any bad images. This same person is then going to massage you for three minutes.  
  
If you don't make a single sound while this is going on, then after three minutes, the Dare will be over and you'll get your pants back. If you do make a sound, then you have to remain in your boxers for the rest of the game."  
  
Here he paused, allowing the full effect of his words to sink in. "That's diabolical!" Sirius said, though he didn't look worried. "Thanks," Snape nodded, conjuring up a blindfold, "Now please, sit down." Sirius sat, and immediately, the blindfold wrapped itself around his eyes, making sure he couldn't see anything.  
  
Then Snape cast a charm so that Sirius wouldn't hear what he said next. "Alright everyone, for Sirius's Dare to get started, I'm going to need someone to do the massaging. And I think I know just the person who would get to Sirius," Sevvie said, smirking self-satisfiedly.  
  
"Of course, they will have to agree, which might cause some problems," he continued, looking around the room, "But I might as well ask. I mean, just imagine the look on Sirius's face if he found out that it had been Remus Lupin doing the massaging."  
  
He looked pointedly at Lupin, really hoping he would agree, because he could only imagine how hilarious that would be. But, as was expected, Remmie shook his head vehemently. "Are you crazy, Sevvie? I'm not giving Sirius a massage… especially not if he doesn't even know it's me!" Lupin said, laughing at the thought of it.  
  
Snape glared at him, looking very disappointed. But he had to move on and find someone who would, so that the Dare could continue. "Very well. Is there anyone else who wants to volunteer to be the massager?" he asked diabolically.  
  
Sevvie was surprised to find that half the hands in the room shot into the air. In fact, the group with their hands raised was the oddest he had ever seen. Among them were Parvati Patil, Pansy Parkinson, Hermione Granger, Fred and George Weasley, Angelina, Alicia, and Katie, Lavender Brown, Ginny Weasley, Oliver Wood, and Cissa Malfoy.  
  
"Wow. Okay, before I make a decision, let me ask a question. Oliver, Fred, and George, why the hell did you raise your hands?" Snape asked, shaking his head as though he did not really want to know the answer. Oliver, Fred, and George laughed. "Honestly, Professor, you have a dirty mind! We only volunteered to see the look on Sirius's face when he would find out it was us!" Fred said, sniggering.  
  
Snape nodded, grateful that that was all there was to it. "Alright, good. Now I'm sorry to disappoint everyone else who volunteered, but I know just who to pick. If I can't have Lupin do it, I'll take the next best thing—his date. Will you do it, Cissa?" he asked, looking hopefully at her. She nodded, glaring pointedly at Lucius.  
  
"Great," Sevvie said, looking very relieved, "You have three minutes. Go to work." While Cissa was getting up and walking the very short distance over to Sirius, Snape took the charm off Sirius so that he would be able to hear. "Alright Black, the person giving you the massage has been chosen. Nod if you're ready, because if you make a sound then you play the rest of the game in your boxers," he said, laughing.  
  
Sirius nodded, feeling very agitated that he would not be able to see who was giving the massage to him. As soon as Sevvie nodded the okay, Cissa sat down on the floor and took of Sirius's shoes. Then she took off his socks. And then she started tickling his feet. Looking like he was cracking up, he was able to hold his breath for the five seconds that she did that. He was very relieved when she stopped, and set to work to take off his pants.  
  
Sirius didn't mind at all that he had worn jeans, because his mystery masseuse had to work extra hard to get them off. Finally, she did it, revealing his red silk boxers. Everyone burst out laughing. "Nice boxers, Black!" Draco said sarcastically, making it very hard for Sirius to stay silent.  
  
"Yeah, red is totally in," Lucius said sardonically. Sirius grit his teeth. He would have liked nothing better than to point out to Lucius that at least he wasn't the one who was supposed to be a safe bet, but his pants were worth more to him than telling off Lucius.  
  
Everyone shut up after a second though, because his mystery masseuse then began his massage. He had to say, whoever she was, she was very talented, as she worked out any tenseness in his shoulders. As she moved down to his back, Sirius had to work very hard not to sigh contentedly. Luckily for his pants, he managed it.  
  
Then she gently massaged his face, and as he felt his cheeks go slack, he couldn't help wondering who this person was, and where she had learned her massaging skills. But he resisted the urge to ask, because he didn't think he'd really fancy showing everyone his red silk boxers longer than he had to.  
  
Finally, as the massage reached the two and a half minute mark (meaning there were thirty seconds left), Sirius felt his mystery masseuse start to rub his thighs. He held back as long as he could, but just ten seconds before his Dare was up, he let out a little moan of pleasure.  
  
"Damn!" he swore, realizing a split second too late what he had just done. Everyone laughed, including his mystery masseuse. It was a laugh he had heard before, he knew it. If he could only place who it was. Oh well, he would only have to wait a tiny bit longer, as three minutes was just now up.  
  
"Well, your massage time is up, Black," Snape said, sniggering, "I must say, that was entertaining for us all. And I'm sorry to report to you that because of that little moan, or whatever noise that was at the end, you have to remain in your boxers until the end of the game! And now, would you like to find out who your mystery masseuse was?"  
  
Sirius nodded eagerly from behind the blindfold. "She was bloody amazing! I've never had such a good massage before!" he said excitedly, "Who was she?" As he said this, he heard that familiar laugh again. This time though, he thought he recognized it. And he was right, too, he realized with disgust, as Sevvie pulled his blindfold away to reveal none other than Cissa Malfoy.  
  
"Cissa? *You* were my mystery masseuse?! Ew! Ew, that's sick and wrong! Sevvie, you have a twisted mind!" Sirius said, horror-struck. "Thanks," Snape said again, laughing at the revolted look on Sirius's face.  
  
He was also, however, laughing at the look on Lucius' face. He looked very put out, and Snape had a feeling that he now knew exactly how his wife had felt only a little earlier when Cho had made him into a human ice cream sundae.  
  
"Anyways, Black, it's your turn to-" Sevvie managed to get out before there was a big racket on the other side of the portrait hole. "But- but- but the password was fizzing whizbee just a couple of hours ago! I know it was!" came Colin Creevey's voice from the other side of the portrait hole.  
  
Most of the people inside burst out laughing. "Well that is no longer the password," the Fat Lady said, "And if you don't know the password, you can't enter." Outside, Colin's voice was steadily rising with panic. "But this is my common room!" he said, whining.  
  
"Do you think one of us should go tell him the password?" Hermione asked, feeling a little guilty. Sirius shrugged. "If you want to," he said carelessly, "we can slip a paper with it written on it out to him." Hermione nodded hopefully, and Sirius wrote it down and slipped it under the Fat Lady's portrait to Colin.  
  
Colin picked it up and looked at it incredulously. "Is this the password?" he called to everyone inside. "DUH!" Fred and George yelled out to him, laughing. Out in the corridor, Colin's eyebrows shot up. "Password, *please*," the Fat Lady said exasperatedly.  
  
Colin's face turned bright red. He obviously didn't want to say it. He was torn though, because he really wanted to get into the common room. Finally, he decided to just suck it up. "Sirius Black is hot!" he said loudly and clearly.  
  
The Fat Lady's portrait swung open, only to reveal the group playing Truth or Dare laughing hysterically. Upon seeing Sirius with tears of laughter in his eyes, Colin's face went even redder, if that was possible. "Well that was the password!" he defended himself, looking around at everyone.  
  
"Colin, welcome to Truth or Dare," Fred said, seizing the moment, "I should warn you, though, this is the adult version of Truth or Dare. You can play at your own risk. However, there are some things happening that should probably be censored. Want the run down?"  
  
Colin nodded almost eagerly; glad for anything that would take the attention off himself and the password. Besides, he had been very curious about the laughing he had heard all the way down in the Great Hall, and what had made a good number of dance-goers all gather in the Gryffindor common room rather than the Great Hall.  
  
"Alright," Fred laughed, "Here it is. We found out that Oliver Wood went all the way home with Katie Bell and loved every minute of it. Draco Malfoy stripped down to his boxers while singing 'I'm Too Sexy'. Ron and Hermione switched underwear, so Hermione is now wearing orange Chudley Cannon's boxers, and Ron is wearing a red thong. And good old George gave Oliver and Katie an amazing rendition of the 'Birds and Bees' talk.  
  
Then Pansy Parkinson snogged Draco the same way she snogged a teddy bear, and Parvati Patil French-kissed Sirius's belly button. Afterwards, Cho Chang made Lucius Malfoy into a human ice cream sundae, and ate it off. Professor Snape fed Professor Sinistra three grapes using only his lips, no hands. And just now, Sirius got a massage from Cissa Malfoy and is stuck wearing his red silk boxers the rest of the game."  
  
Colin looked around the room, as if searching for proof that this had all happened. The laughter, and the flush on everyone's faces, sealed the fact that it was really true. "So can I play?" he asked excitedly, thinking of how funny this would be.  
  
"Well," George piped up, "It's all up to you. But if you play, you might end up scarred for life! You might even end up seeing Harry Potter in his boxers!" Harry shook his head at George. He might be playing Truth or Dare, but he wouldn't be stripping down to his boxers. Especially not in front of Colin. "Oh, I don't mind!" Colin said, on tenterhooks, causing everyone a fresh round of laughter.  
  
George was all set to say okay, but catching the look of mingled horror and disgust on Harry's face said, "Actually Colin, I think it'd be better if you just head up to your dorm. This game is really too mature for you." Colin frowned, very disappointed.  
  
"But Ginny is playing, and she's my age," he whined, "I'm not leaving!" There was some significant eye rolling exchanged, especially from the Slytherins, who found Colin (and the stupid camera he always wore around his neck) particularly annoying.  
  
"Hey Creevey, if we let you take a picture of Potter, will you leave?" Draco drawled, sniggering. Colin, to hardly anyone's surprise, nodded eagerly. Harry grimaced, but stood up. "Where should I stand?" he asked monotonously.  
  
"Just right there is great!" Colin piped, grinning, "Now say 'Cheese'!" "Cheese," Harry said, smiling half-heartedly. Colin snapped the picture as everyone laughed. Smiling to himself, he then skipped happily up the stairs towards the fourth year boys' dormitories.  
  
"That kid has some issues," Seamus said, laughing, "He's like: Oh; I don't mind seeing Harry in boxers! Bring it on! Oh yeah, baby! And then he skips off holding Harry's picture! I don't even want to *know* what he does with all those, mate!"  
  
Harry laughed. Colin was very obsessive, it was definitely true. He was also incredibly annoying, and in most people's opinion, and embarrassment to Gryffindor. "Sirius, isn't it your turn to Truth or Dare someone?" he asked, drawing the subject away from Colin Creevey, who creeped him out. Sirius grinned, a smirk playing his lips. "Yes, I think it is," he said happily. 


	29. Nervous

A/N- I hate when the internet is down. I also hate it when my story get taken off fanfiction for no good reason! Especially since because it got taken off 7/20, I wasn't allowed to update for a week, so I'm really really sorry for the wait. I don't like this chapter as much as some others, so I'm sorry about that, I'm really running out of good Dares (and Truths). But that's okay, I've still got some up my sleeve, and pretty soon, there'll be other action too. And now I can keep on updating! R/R!  
  
A/N- Also, let me know about whether or not you think it's okay if I put a very little bit of slash in the next chappie. Thanx!  
  
Sirius had to think hard about whom to Truth or Dare. He would have picked Sevvie, but he had already been picked. So he had to think of someone else. His first thought was Remmie. After all, they were best friends. But then he decided not to. There was really no good reason for this, it was just that he would rather let someone else Dare him.  
  
"Ah, anyone have any suggestions?" Sirius asked, for once at a loss. Everyone sat, thinking. Then Fred started jumping up and down. "I have one, I have one!" he said, laughing already. He walked over to Sirius (it was less than five feet) and whispered something in his ear.  
  
Sirius gave a bark-like laugh. "No way!" he accidentally said out loud, sniggering, "I'm *not* going to have Hermione give Ron a lap dance!" At this, Hermione's head shot up, and she arched an eyebrow at Fred, who shrugged. Ron too looked up, but he looked slightly disappointed rather than shocked.  
  
Thinking again, Fred whispered something else in Sirius's ear. Sirius looked like he was having an inner battle with himself, trying to decide whether or not to do what Fred had suggested. Finally, he shrugged, deciding 'what the heck?' After all, when he used to play Truth or Dare when he was at Hogwarts, he had had much worse.  
  
"Alright. Hermione, Truth or Dare?" he asked perkily. Hermione looked surprised to have been chosen, especially by Sirius, and couldn't help rolling her eyes at Fred. It wasn't hard for her to decide what to pick. She knew Truth would without a doubt be completely embarrassing. Sirius would probably ask her who she liked, and she would be forced to tell everyone that she liked- well, someone.  
  
So she decided to go with her only other option. "Dare, please, Sirius," she said, a little nervously. Fred grinned, and Sirius smiled too. "Alright Mione, sorry about this, but Fred will kill me if I don't use his idea," Sirius admitted, laughing, "So, I Dare you to play a game of Nervous with Ron."  
  
Ron's face turned as red as his hair, but Hermione looked politely puzzled. She had obviously never played Nervous before. "Do I get any instructions or anything?" she asked hopefully. After a glance from Fred, Sirius shook his head. "No, sorry Mione," he said, holding back a laugh.  
  
"Well can you at least tell me what's going to happen, Sirius?" she asked, looking a little worried. Sirius hesitated, but decided she deserved to know *something*. "Basically," he said simply, "Ron runs his hand up your leg, and then when you get nervous, you say- well, you ought to know what to say!"  
  
Of course, he knew full well that Hermione didn't know that the word to say was 'Nervous'. But he also knew that Fred had suggested the Dare with that in his mind. Besides, he thought it would be pretty interesting to see what happened. "So just come to the center of the circle, Mione, and you come too, Ron," Sirius said, motioning for them to come over, "There. Alright Ron, go ahead and start."  
  
Hermione sat in the center of the circle, looking around a little uncertainly. Ron stood there, blushing, not starting the Dare. "Come on Ron," Fred said, rolling his eyes. Ron looked hopefully over to Sirius. "Sorry Ron, but this *is* Wizard's Truth or Dare. You have no choice," he said with a tiny hint of a smirk.  
  
Ron frowned, and sat down on the floor next to Hermione's chair. "Here we go," he said, more to himself than to anyone else, and then put his hand on Hermione's ankle. He was moving his hand slower than a herd of turtles through peanut butter. When he was less than halfway up to her knees after a minute, Hermione actually sighed with relief. "This isn't so bad," she said, not realizing quite what would be coming.  
  
When she said that, a few people sniggered. Draco Malfoy was among them. He was sure he knew exactly the sort of reaction she would have when she found out why a lot of guys like to play Nervous. And he thought it would be interesting to see how Ron would react when Hermione didn't know what to say. All he had to do was continue watching.  
  
Hermione was still calm as Ron's hand reached her knee, and Ron's face was growing steadily redder. "Alright Mione?" Ron asked sweetly, now causing just about everyone to start sniggering uncontrollably. Hermione blushed, but she nodded. There was nothing wrong with having Ron's hand on her knee.  
  
But as he moved his hand, still at the same slow pace, so that it was almost halfway up her thigh, she started to get a little nervous. "Um, okay, you can stop now," she said, turning redder. Ron looked to Sirius for instruction, because he wasn't sure if he was allowed to stop unless Hermione said 'Nervous'.  
  
Sirius shook his head, proving once again that he hadn't changed a bit since his time at school. "Sorry Ron, you know the rules. Hermione, you have to say the word before Ron can stop," he said matter-of-factly. Had it been just about anyone else, Hermione would have been completely freaking out. But since it was Ron, she was only mildly freaking out.  
  
"Come on, will someone tell me the word I'm supposed to say?" Hermione asked pleadingly, looking around for someone who would. Ron looked up at her sympathetically, trying to move even slower. But if he had been moving any slower, he would have been going backwards, and so there was nothing he could do as his hand went slightly over halfway up her thigh.  
  
Hopefully, Hermione looked over to Harry and Ginny. They looked at each other, then Hermione, and started trying to mouth the word to her. "Nemesis?" Hermione guessed, "Serious?" Unfortunately, Hermione wasn't a good lip reader, and neither Harry nor Ginny were good at mouthing words.  
  
By this point, Ron's hand was three-quarters of the way up her leg, and they were both blushing very hard, and everyone was laughing. Hermione was completely at a loss for what to do. "Hermione, don't be *Nervous*," Ron said pointedly as he continued moving his hand up her leg.  
  
Hermione continued to look apprehensive and confused for a minute. Then a look of comprehension dawned on her face. "Nervous! Nervous!" she said happily, and Ron almost sighed with relief as he removed his hand. He had been afraid that he was going to have to go all the way up her leg.  
  
"That was hilarious!" Lucius Malfoy said to Cho, "Did you see her face?" Hermione glared at him. She really didn't appreciate being talked about as if she wasn't even there. "Truth or Dare, Mr. Malfoy?" she asked bravely, looking at him indignantly.  
  
He was completely shocked that she had chosen him. He never would have guessed that the bookworm Mudblood his son spent half his time complaining about would comprehend the idea of revenge enough to use it on him. But apparently, he had ever so slightly underestimated her.  
  
"I'd like Truth," Lucius drawled without hesitation, looking at Hermione coldly. She didn't flinch. However, she didn't answer him right away. She had picked him spur of the moment, based on the fact that he never missed an opportunity to criticize her, and just about anyone else who was half-blood.  
  
But she hadn't actually had a question on the tip of her tongue. She turned around to where Sirius was sitting, looking quite pleased with himself. "Do you have any ideas?" she asked him quietly. Sirius sat back, thinking hard. Suddenly, his eyes lit up, and he stifled a laugh. It was as if a [sick and wrong] light bulb had lit up above his head.  
  
Sirius whispered his idea of a Truth for Lucius to Hermione, grinning. Hermione gasped at how inappropriate what he had said was, but she agreed that it was the perfect Truth for Lucius. "Okay. Mr. Malfoy, have you ever used an Engorgement Charm for any purposes other than the ones typically associated with this charm?" she asked, flushing as red as Ron's hair as she said it.  
  
Lucius arched an eyebrow at her, glaring evilly. He could not believe that she had actually had the guts to ask that. He also made a mental note to get back at Sirius as soon as possible for giving her the idea. "Lucius, we're waiting," Sirius said, smirking. Lucius grit his teeth, reminding himself that it would mean too much paperwork if he were to murder Black right here in the common room.  
  
"Alright then. I can't imagine where you came up with that question, Black, or why you used it, Granger, but I'm appalled," Lucius said frostily, "However, I have no choice but to answer. So yes, once- and only once! I swear!"  
  
Hermione's eyebrows almost shot off her head, and she laughed. Sirius was cracking up, and looked like he was having trouble breathing. So did Lupin, actually. Cissa and Draco were both looking disgusted, and Cho was giggling. Everyone else, of course, was laughing incredibly hard.  
  
Lucius, of course, wasn't laughing. He did not appreciated being humiliated in public, and he especially didn't appreciate it when it was by a Mudblood (Hermione) and one of his worst enemies (Sirius). He glared evilly at everyone laughing for a good long time. No one seemed to be able to stop.  
  
However, after he increased the intensity of his evil glare to *10* (seems like it would melt the bottom of your shoes, cook eggs, and shave head), most people subsided. Even Hermione stopped then, because as smart as she was, even she got freaked out when Lucius glared at her.  
  
Finally, the only people left laughing were Sirius, Remmie, Fred and George. Lucius hardly noticed Fred and George though; he was too busy thinking about revenge on Sirius. He was only snapped out of his reverie when Sirius himself said, "Hello? It's your turn to Dare someone!"  
  
After a second, Lucius grinned evilly. He had thought of the perfect idea of revenge on Sirius. He was about to ask him whether he wanted Truth or Dare when he remembered that Sirius had already been dared! "This is so unfair," he said aloud, shaking his head. "What is?" Lupin asked sarcastically, from his seat a few spaces away.  
  
Lucius just stared at him for a second, thinking hard. Then a brilliant (in his opinion) idea struck him. "Lupin. Truth or Dare," he asked maliciously. 


	30. Wink Wink

A/N- Okay, well here I am again with another chapter. I hope you don't mind my very little bit of slash: it's not really my style usually, but I couldn't think of another good way for Lucius to get back at Sirius. So if you don't like it, please don't flame me.  
  
A/N- Also, I'm planning to have Harry dare Fred, who started the game. This would end Truth or Dare, and the action would continue in other ways. Tell me if this works for you, because I can continue the game if you want, or I can move on as planned. R/R!  
  
Remmie didn't register for a second that Lucius had picked him. When he did realize it, his mouth opened wide in shock. Everyone looked back and forth between them, sure that something interesting was about to happen. "I'll ask you again, Lupin. Truth or Dare?" Lucius drawled, looking quite content about something.  
  
It was a hard decision. He was tempted to pick Truth for a second. But then he realized that that could reveal things he didn't want known. He knew most people in the room already knew that he was a werewolf, but he didn't have any desire to bring it up. So he went with the only other option he had.  
  
"Dare," Lupin sighed, looking apprehensively into Lucius' cold, calculating eyes. Lucius' lip curled in satisfaction. He had been depending on that answer. Had Lupin picked Truth, his opportunity to get back at Sirius for giving Hermione that ridiculous idea for a Truth would be ruined. Luckily for him, he would now have his chance.  
  
"Excellent," Lucius smirked, "Excellent. I Dare you to snog Black for two minutes. And remember, Lupin, this is Wizard's Truth or Dare. There is *no* backing out." Everyone's eyes darted back and forth again, this time between, Remmie, Sirius, and Lucius. "You have got to be kidding me, Lucius," Remmie said, looking from him to Sirius.  
  
Lucius shook his head that no, he definitely wasn't kidding. Since when did Lucius Malfoy ever kid people? "That's a great one, Lucius!" Snape said. He, of course, was only too happy to see Sirius get upstaged by Lucius, and if Lupin also got his comeuppance, well, then in his opinion, it was like failing two Gryffindors with one zero.  
  
"Alright then, where am I supposed to snog him?" Remmie asked, blinking slowly as though he couldn't believe Lucius thought he could just upstage him like that. Lucius smirked. "Lips, of course. I'm not as sick as that little Mudblood girl. Yes, just a two minute snog on the lips," he said, completely self-satisfied.  
  
"Lucius, this is surprising! Coming from a Slytherin in the same dorm as Sevvie, I would've thought you'd be more creative!" Sirius laughed, knowing that the surefire way to make sure Lucius didn't upstage them would be to show that it didn't bother either of them.  
  
"We'll see how cocky you are after you've had your little kiss," Lucius said sneeringly, "Now what are you waiting for? Step to the center of the circle and start snogging!"  
  
"Yeah Sirius, what are we waiting for?" Remmie asked, catching onto Sirius's plan. Sirius winked at him, making sure Lucius didn't see, and they walked into the center of the circle, Parvati and Cissa both moving a little so that they wouldn't go too far away from their dates.  
  
They each looked pointedly at Lucius, just to prove that this was no big deal. Once Lucius had conjured up a timer, and set it for two minutes, Sirius and Remmie started to snog. Of course, not wanting Lucius to prevail, they had to ham it up as much as possible.  
  
As Sirius started to lay it on thick by moving his hands up and down Remus' back, everyone started laughing. Mr. Malfoy, however, didn't look entirely amused. And his expression changed from annoyed to incensed as Lupin got in on the act and started running his fingers through Sirius's hair.  
  
At this point, no one could do anything *but* look at the two of them, and double up in laughter. Except, of course, for Lucius. As the clock he had conjured reached the one minute mark (meaning the Dare was half- over), he started glaring evilly at anyone who had dared to laugh.  
  
This might have stopped people like Neville, who were clearly afraid of the wrath of Lucius Malfoy, from laughing. But a lot of people were fairly used to that evil glare, and were happy to see that his plan to seriously embarrass the two of them was failing.  
  
Sirius and Remmie, of course, had gone to school with Lucius and were completely used to him, and so they didn't hesitate in continuing their fun. "Oooh!" Sirius squealed to Lupin, looking pointedly at Lucius as he said it. Both he and Remus were having to work very hard to keep from laughing themselves.  
  
Luckily, they succeeded, and when they broke apart after the clock ticked two minutes, they both had flushed cheeks. "Thank you, Black and Lupin, for that sickening PDA," Lucius said scornfully. Sirius rolled his eyes, and Remmie said, "I thought it was your idea!"  
  
Lucius was very taken aback, but tried not to show that he was completely infuriated that his plan to embarrass them had now completely failed. Nevertheless, everyone else realized it, and Sirius and Remmie looked particularly smug as they smirked at him before going to sit down.  
  
"So Lupin, is this the explanation for your monthly issues? Or for your long hair, Black?" Snape asked, trying to help Lucius out. Sirius got so mad at these comments that Lupin had to hold him back to keep him from jumping on Snape. But that wasn't the end.  
  
Sirius was too mad to make a comeback, but Lupin pulled himself together. With one well-said comment from him about the way Snape swishes and shakes his butt when he walks, Snape sat down, glaring angrily at them. "And Lucius," Sirius said scornfully, regaining a little composure, "I don't think Remmie or I wear black bows in our long, blonde hair. And we're not the ones who are obsessed with what outfit we wear."  
  
Lucius looked extremely irritated that he hadn't succeeded in embarrassing Remmie and Sirius, and even more irritated that they had made good comebacks about him and Snape. "The bow is a fashion statement, okay!" Lucius said, running a hand through his hair out of habit.  
  
Everyone laughed. There wasn't a single person in the room who didn't enjoy seeing Lucius squirm, especially after he had tried to get the best of two of everyone's favorite people in the room. "Alright, shut up," Lucius said, glaring as evilly as he could under the circumstances. However, the evil glare wasn't as threatening, considering the fact that his face was all red.  
  
"I said SHUT UP! Lupin, it's your turn to Dare someone," Lucius snapped irritably. Lupin looked up at him almost lazily, as if he couldn't care less, and nodded that he had heard. Unfortunately, most of the people Remmie would have picked had already been picked. However, there were still plenty of people left to Dare.  
  
"Harry, Truth or Dare?" he asked, making a decision. Harry looked up, surprised to have been chosen, especially by Lupin. He would have thought that Malfoy or Snape would have picked him as revenge, but having his godfather's best friend/old professor pick him came as a little bit of a shock.  
  
"Er-" he said, not sure what to pick, "how about Dare?" The group sarcastically gasped collectively. "I'll get back to you in one second," Lupin said to Harry, and then turned to Sirius and whispered something in his ear.  
  
"See the chemistry?" Lucius asked. No one but Cho laughed. Everyone was pretty much ignoring him, and either focusing their attention on the Boy Who Lived, or Sirius and Remmie. Fuming, he laid back against a couch, thinking that he couldn't wait until this game was over and he could go relax in the Prefect's Bathroom. He would find out the password somehow.  
  
A minute later, Sirius and Remmie stopped whispering, and both looked at Harry happily. "Should I be scared?" Harry asked, grinning. The two of them shook their heads. Harry knew he wouldn't have too much to worry about. No matter how immature and irresponsible the two of them acted sometimes, Harry knew they would never give him the same sort of embarrassing Dare that someone like Draco would.  
  
"Okay Harry," Lupin said, smiling, "I Dare you to go into that broom closet with Ginny for 7 minutes. You know what everyone expects you to do. You know what Sirius would do. We'll all be anxious to find out what you do."  
  
Harry had to admit, he was a little surprised. But he knew it could have been much, much worse, so he walked toward the broom closet, Ginny following embarrassedly behind him. "Be careful with her, Harry!" Ron called sincerely from where he was sitting next to Pansy.  
  
Harry laughed. Ron was a little overprotective of his sister, but he was nothing compared to Percy. "Yeah Harry, don't do anything we wouldn't do!" Fred yelled out, laughing. "Or you'll have to face the wrath of Percy!" George said, only-half joking.  
  
Grinning, Harry walked into the broom closet, followed by Ginny. Lupin closed the door behind them, with what Harry would've sworn was a small wink. Once the door was closed, Harry couldn't see anything. He had never realized that the broom closets of Hogwarts were so dark before.  
  
"Harry?" Ginny whispered among the shadows, "Can you light your wand?" Harry laughed, not believing that he had forgotten to. He muttered, "Lumos" under his breath, and put his now lit wand on a shelf, where it enabled him to see a little better.  
  
"That's better," Ginny said, leaning back against the wall in an attempt to look relaxed. Actually, though, she was anything but. Not only did she really like Harry, she had also never been in a broom closet with a boy before. "So, what do we do now?" she asked, eyes darting to and from Harry.  
  
Harry hesitated before answering. He didn't have Ron's bluntness, or Draco's confident attitude. He didn't have Oliver's charm or Fred and George's hilarity. And he had absolutely no idea what to say to Ginny. He was beginning to slightly regret telling Sirius about his crush on Ginny. Obviously, that was how Lupin had found out, and why the two of them had made up this dare.  
  
"Harry, I'm supposed to be the nervous one here. If we're both nervous, then we're in trouble!" Ginny said, laughing. Harry cracked a smile. She was right, though, he shouldn't be nervous. It was just Ginny, after all, Ron's little sister. Not so little, but still.  
  
"Maybe we could just stand here until the seven minutes are up," Harry suggested, feeling stupid already. Ginny shrugged. If Harry wasn't going to kiss her, she understood. Of course he was nervous! He had a right to be nervous. He was Harry Potter.  
  
After a few minutes of silence, and awkward glances, Lupin spoke up from the other side of the door. "You have one minute left of your Dare, Harry!" he called. Harry nodded, but realizing that Lupin couldn't see through the door, he said, "Okay!"  
  
Then he looked back at Ginny, who had a funny expression on her face. Had Harry had more than a tiny clue to do with girls, he would have known it was a combination of nervousness and excitement.  
  
Just as Harry was trying to count down the final 45 seconds he would be spending in a dark broom closet with no girl intuition, he got the shock of his life. Ginny swallowed her fear, took a step toward Harry, and kissed him. They broke apart a few seconds later, both blushing incredibly.  
  
Ginny grinned at Harry, very proud of herself. Harry grinned back. He decided without any hesitation that kissing Ginny was much better than kissing Cho. Then Harry realized with dismay that he hadn't really returned the kiss. Seeing the look on his face, Ginny asked, "Want to try that again?"  
  
Harry nodded, grateful that he wasn't going to have to be in charge of everything. Ginny put her arms around him and kissed him again. Harry felt very awkward as he embraced her, but he returned the kiss, and this time, it lasted more than a few seconds. In fact, they were still snogging when Sirius and Remmie opened the door.  
  
Sirius tapped Harry's shoulder, and Remmie tapped Ginny's. Blushing loads, they broke apart. "Wow Harry, that was some snog," Ron said from near by. Harry looked over at Ron, nervous that he would be mad at him for kissing his younger sister. But to his great relief, Ron was smiling, and he didn't look at all upset.  
  
When Harry looked away from where Ron was sitting, he glanced over at Sirius and Remmie and their dates. Sirius was mouthing, "High five!" to him from across the room, and Lupin winked at him again. "Harry, I think it's your turn to Dare somebody," Ginny said softly. 


	31. Out of a Soap Opera

A/N- I think I'll do this chapter full of Truth or Dare, and then I'll get back to the regularness part of the story. Does that work? Sorry about the end of the chapter, I know it's not great, but oh well. The next chapter will be coming soon! R/R!  
  
"You're right," Harry said to Ginny, and he looked around the room, wondering who to dare. Like almost everyone else, his first choice people to dare had already been chosen. So he had to think really hard.  
  
Luckily for him, being friends with the smartest girl at Hogwarts was finally going to pay off. If there was one thing being friends with Hermione had taught him, it was that there was a way to do anything. And he was sure that Truth or Dare was no exception.  
  
"Alright. Alicia, Truth or Dare?" Harry asked the pretty Chaser. She smiled at him, pretty happy to have been chosen. Mostly because that would mean she would get to dare someone else, but getting Truth or Dared herself wouldn't be so bad. After all, it was only Harry.  
  
"I'll take Truth," Alicia said, playing on the safe side, just in case. Harry nodded that he had heard. Then he went to work thinking of a dare. He knew anyone in the room probably could have given him a good idea. Most of them were more creative than him anyway. But he wanted to think of one on his own, even if it was stupid.  
  
Which of course, it was. "Alicia, who do you think is the hottest guy at Hogwarts? And you can't lie," Harry asked, knowing it wasn't a great question. Not that he cared. All that he really cared about was that he had kissed Ginny. And it had been great.  
  
Alicia wasn't really surprised. She had figured Harry would ask her this sort of question; that's why she had picked Truth. In her opinion, it wasn't that hard of a question. "That would have to be George Weasley," Alicia said happily.  
  
George grinned at her, looking very excited. He knew that Alicia liked him and everything, but to be thought of as the hottest guy at Hogwarts? That was crazy. Most girls would have said Oliver Wood or Draco Malfoy, or maybe even Harry. But Alicia had said him. He could have kissed her.  
  
Actually, he did kiss her. As soon as she had gotten the words out of her mouth, George pulled her into a long snog. They broke apart a minute later, Alicia blushing and George looking even happier than before.  
  
They both just sat there for a second; then George remembered that it was Alicia's turn to Dare someone. He whispered that to her, and she giggled as his lips brushed her ear. "Um-Angelina, Truth or Dare?" Alicia asked, grinning mischievously at her.  
  
Angelina raised her eyebrows. "Dare," she said, hoping Alicia wouldn't give her something too embarrassing. But dating one of the two biggest pranksters of the current Hogwarts generation had taught Alicia a few things.  
  
"I Dare you to propose to Fred," Alicia said lightly, winking at Fred. Angelina's mouth dropped open. That was definitely the type of thing that Fred or George would have suggested. Obviously, George had rubbed off on Alicia.  
  
But it didn't bother Angelina all that much. She could have fun with this. First, she grabbed Fred's hand and led him to the middle of the circle, where everyone could see them. Fred came willingly. He knew he was going to enjoy this.  
  
"Fred," Angelina said melodramatically, "There's something I've been meaning to ask you." She sounded like she was right out of a soap opera, and she looked it too as she batted her eyelashes at him. "But Angelina," Fred said, as if he was completely clueless, "I already did my homework, I swear!"  
  
Angelina shook her head as if she couldn't believe him. "No Fred. That's not what I have to ask you," she said in a husky voice. Fred pretended to be confused for a second. Then a look of false comprehension dawned on his face. "Angelina, if this is about Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes again, I already told you-"  
  
Angelina put a finger to his lips, and batted her eyes again. "No Fred. This isn't about Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes. This is much more important. It's about our future," she said theatrically.  
  
Fred's eyes widened believably. "Our- our future?" he asked, feigning shock. Angelina nodded, making herself blush. "Yes," she said, getting down on one knee, and taking Fred's hand in hers, "Fred? My love? Will you marry me?"  
  
Fred's mouth dropped open. He was doing a very good job of pretending to be shocked. So good, in fact, that he forgot to answer. "Fred, you didn't answer me," Angelina continued, after being prodded by Alicia.  
  
Fred thought. He wanted to make it funny. He had his reputation to uphold here. "Oh. Sorry Ang!" he said, grinning, "Well let me see. I'd love to marry you. But only on the condition that Alicia and George can come and live with us, and we can have a mulberry bush and a puppy and three goldfish. Oh and also a tree house-and a bed with fluffy pillows! And-"  
  
Everyone laughed. "You've got it," Angelina sniggered, and she stood up and snogged him. "On second thought," Fred said slowly, as if he was contemplating a brilliant idea, "If you'll snog me like that every day, then screw the rest of that stuff!" And with that, Angelina and Fred sat back down with Alicia and George.  
  
"That was so great, Angelina. And you too, Fred," Alicia said, grinning, "And Ang, it's your turn to Dare someone." Angelina thought hard. When she didn't come up with an idea after a while, Alicia let out a squeal. "Oh! Angelina, come 'ere, I've got a great idea!"  
  
After whispering it to her, both girls burst out laughing. It was the perfect idea to give Fred and George a taste of what being on the other end of a prank felt like. Not meanly, of course, because they wouldn't want them any other way. But still, this would be hilarious.  
  
"Truth or Dare, Fred?" Angelina asked, grinning playfully. Fred tried to decipher the look on her face. After a second, he realized it was exactly the same look he got right before he played a prank or something to that effect. "Er-Dare?" he suggested hopefully.  
  
"Fred," Angelina said innocently, "I know we just got engaged and all, but I'm going to have to ask you to cheat on me just this once. I Dare you to confess your love for George-without laughing!"  
  
Fred looked surprised. He had to admit, that was a great Dare. He almost wished that he had thought of it. George too looked shocked. But he was already laughing. Fred led George into the circle, just like Angelina had led him. They stood facing each other. It was like looking into a mirror.  
  
"Fred," Fred said, addressing George. George laughed again, glad that *he* was allowed to. "Actually, I'm George. *You're* Fred," he said, sniggering. Fred grinned, but didn't laugh. "My mistake. George, I really need to tell you something," he said, batting his eyelashes like Angelina had.  
  
George faked being puzzled. "Hmm. Whatever do you have to tell me, Fred?" he asked, snickering. Fred took a deep breath, and tried to calm himself down so that he wouldn't burst out laughing.  
  
"Well, the thing is, George, I don't know quite how to say it," he said, blinking. "Just say it Fred! It's not that hard!" Angelina called, smirking slightly. Fred winked at Angelina. He would have laughed, but of course he wasn't allowed to.  
  
"Alright George. Well you see, what it is, is that-I'm in love!" Fred said sensationally. George looked him straight in the eye and grinned. "Really Fred? That's great! With who!?" he asked, sniggering.  
  
"You!" Fred exclaimed, and he threw his arms around George's neck and hugged him. Everyone else in the room clapped. Angelina and Alicia clapped the loudest. But they weren't done.  
  
"Aw Fred, that's so sweet!" George laughed after Fred had released him, "But I already gave my heart away!" Fred pretended to look hurt. "But George, who could you love more than me?" he asked, mock-sadly.  
  
Alicia stood up. "Is it me, George?" she asked, smiling. George looked over at her. "No, it's Professor Snape!" he said sarcastically. Then he hopped over to her and gave her a kiss.  
  
Fred looked after the two of them, faking a glare. Angelina walked over to him, grabbed his hand, and pulled him over to where they were sitting. "It's okay Fred, *I* still love you!" she said, flashing him a smile. Fred laughed. "I feel *much* better now!" he grinned, giving her a hug.  
  
Then Sirius spoke up. "Fred, didn't you ask the first question?" he asked, remembering back to the very beginning of their Truth or Dare game when Fred had asked Oliver about Katie. Fred had to think a little bit before he remembered.  
  
"Oh yeah! I did!" he said, smirking as he remembered his question. "Does that mean the game is over?" Hermione asked, thinking back to the few times she had played Truth or Dare at sleepover parties when she was little.  
  
Sirius nodded. "Yup, that's what it means!" he said. "Noo!!!!!!!!!!!!" Fred said, pretending to cry, "How can this be?!" Lucius spoke up at this. "Trust me Weasley, it can be, and it will be. And good riddance!" he said, still irritated about his failed revenge on Sirius.  
  
"Anyway," Sirius continued, "It's been fun! I'm sure I'll see you all later tonight! But right now, I gotta jam! Parvati, Remmie, you up for something?" Parvati nodded and stood up with Sirius, and Lupin dragged an unwilling Cissa over to the two of them. "See ya!" Sirius grinned, and he and his 'group' walked out of the portrait hole.  
  
After the four of them had left, everyone else started trickling out too. No one really had much of an agenda, but they were all planning to continue making this dance the best they could. 


	32. BubbleHead

A/N- I'm sorry Truth or Dare is over! Wahh! I miss it! But I think it would have fizzled out if I hadn't ended it. Besides, there's plenty of other stuff that can happen. This shows you what's coming up. The 'I Never' game is not going to be too too similar to Truth or Dare, so don't worry too much about repetition.  
  
A/N- I'm sorry this chapter is short. Hopefully the next one will be longer. Also, feel free to tell me if you have an idea of something you want to happen. Hope you like the chapter! R/R!  
  
As soon as he had walked out the portrait hole, Lucius realized that he needed to talk to Oliver Wood, who he knew knew the password to the Prefects' Bathroom. "Dammit!" he swore, "What was the stupid password?"  
  
Cho looked up at him, laughing. "I remember it," she said, and whispered it to him. "I am NOT saying that!" Lucius snapped, "Never! Absolutely not. Will you say it for me? Please?"  
  
Cho shrugged. She would have really liked to hear Lucius say that Sirius was hot. It would have been hilarious. But she knew making him say it would wreck her evening. So she agreed. "Sirius Black is hot," Cho told the Fat Lady, who swung open to reveal Oliver, Katie, Fred, Angelina, George, and Alicia.  
  
Lucius walked over to the group of them, and Cho followed. "Can we help you?" Angelina asked coolly. She had heard too much about Mr. Malfoy insulting the Weasley family to be very friendly to him.  
  
Lucius nodded, but to Oliver rather than her. He certainly didn't want to associate with the Weasleys. They were too lower class; asking for their help would be ridiculous. And he wasn't going to ask the girls because- well- because.  
  
And besides, Oliver had the best hair, which in Lucius' opinion was as good a reason as any. "What's the password to the Prefects' bathroom?" he asked subtly, but with a glare that would make sure Oliver would tell him the answer. Oliver didn't mind telling him. He didn't really see that it could do any harm, anyway.  
  
"The password is Bubble-Head. Why?" Oliver asked. But Lucius didn't answer him. He and Cho were already on their way out the portrait hole. Once they were halfway down the corridor, Cho started laughing. "You know, you could have just asked me for the password," she said, giggling.  
  
Lucius raised an eyebrow. He was right. Why hadn't he thought of that? He had known that Cho was a Prefect. This just proved to him even more that he needed to relax.  
  
When they got to the Prefects' Bathroom, Lucius said the password, and they walked inside. Cho went into one of the changing stalls and conjured up a bikini to wear. Lucius went into another and conjured himself up a bathing suit, too.  
  
They both came out a minute later, and looked at each other with interest. Cho thought Lucius looked just as good in a bathing suit as he had when she was making the sundae out of him.  
  
Lucius studied Cho. She looked shorter than he had thought. That was probably because she wasn't wearing the high shoes she had been wearing before. It was a little strange for him; he wasn't used to such a height difference. But he shrugged it off, and focused instead on her black hair, which looked really shiny, and the fact that she wasn't exactly small- chested.  
  
"So," Cho said, breaking the silence, "should we go in?" Lucius nodded. "Definitely," he said, and they started turning on the different taps. The sparkling turquoise water filled the Olympic size tub much quicker than Lucius had expected.  
  
Once it was full, they added foam that smelled just like the ocean, only without any salt. There were also big blue bubbles that barely crested the surface, which seemed to be scented of raspberries, and also served as seats if you wanted to sit in the water, because they were uncannily strong.  
  
Cho dove off the small, jewel-encrusted diving board at one end of the pool and swam over to the side where Lucius was still standing. She wasn't too keen on relaxing. She would rather have been swimming, but she contented herself by treading water near Lucius.  
  
Then Lucius too lowered himself into the water, and sat down on one of the bubbles. "Mmm," he said, already feeling much more relaxed. But something was still eating away at him, although he couldn't quite place what it was.  
  
Meanwhile, Sirius was happy to be doing anything but relaxing. "So, what do you guys wanna do?" he asked Parvati, Remus, and Cissa. Cissa rolled her eyes at Sirius's consistent, annoying energy. "Couldn't we do something like *gasp* relax?" Cissa asked scornfully.  
  
Sirius shook his head as if it was the craziest idea he had ever heard. "No way. Let's do something fun! Come on Cissa, please? I'm hyper!" he said, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.  
  
"When are you ever *not* hyper, Sirius?" Remmie asked sensibly. "Too true, Remmie," Sirius relented, "But still! Let's *do* something!" Parvati laughed. Sirius was whining in a way that reminded her a little of Ron Weasley at the Yule Ball. Not that she thought they were similar, but it was just funny how Sirius could just as easily have passed for a Hogwarts student.  
  
"What do you suggest we do?" Cissa asked, annoyed, "And please, let's try not to make this x-rated." Sirius gasped in mock-hurt while Parvati and Remus laughed. Before Sirius could make a suggestion on what to do, Hermione and Draco walked by, Hermione back to looking annoyed.  
  
"Hey Hermione!" Parvati said, feeling bad for her friend, "Want to hang out with Sirius and me?" Draco gave her a glare that made it obvious to Hermione that the very last thing in the world he wanted to do was hang out with Parvati, Sirius, Remmie, and Cissa.  
  
"Sure," Hermione said, smirking at Draco as she walked over to the group, leaving him no choice but to follow her. "Hi mum," Draco said, whining, "This is boring." Everyone rolled their eyes. Only Draco would complain to his mother about being bored at a school dance.  
  
"Well I'm bored too. Even worse, I'm resentful and bored," Cissa replied, aggravated. The little group just stood there for a second. Then Sirius got a glint in his eye. "I have a great idea!" he said excitedly, "Let's just the six of us play 'I Never'!"  
  
"So, anyone up for Spin the Bottle?" George asked Alicia, Fred, Angelina, Oliver, and Katie back in the Gryffindor Common room. Fred and Oliver rolled their eyes, and Alicia laughed. "Why bother?" she asked, "We don't need an excuse to kiss!"  
  
George licked his lips, laughing. "Then what are we waiting for?" he asked, grinning. He was about to lean in to snog Alicia when Angelina stopped him. "Wait! I have a better idea," she said thoughtfully.  
  
"*Better* than *kissing*? What could *possibly* be *better* than *kissing*?" Fred asked incredulously, making Oliver stifle a snigger. "Well," Angelina said, "Why don't we go find Percy? *He* tried to give *us* lectures-why not give him a lecture of his own?"  
  
There was silence for a minute as they thought about it. "As much as I'm really annoyed at Percy right now," Oliver said, with a side glance at Katie, who blushed, "I say he really does deserve a lecture."  
  
"Awesome," Fred said, taking over, "Let's go!" He grabbed Angelina's hand, and they started to walk out the portrait hole. George did the same to Alicia, and followed Fred. Oliver and Katie made their way out too, walking arm in arm. "Revenge is going to be so sweet," Oliver said, smirking slightly. 


	33. I Never

A/N- Alright, here's some more! This whole chapter is I Never! Coming soon- Revenge on Percy and Cissa's Plan! I can't wait! R/R!  
  
"So where are we going to play 'I Never'?" Sirius asked, full of enthusiasm. Draco glared at him. He was angry at anyone who was actually enjoying themself. "Well we're certainly not playing in the Slytherin Common Room," he drawled, hoping to limit Sirius's enthusiasm.  
  
Naturally, it didn't work. But before anyone else could make a suggestion, Hermione spoke up. "Wait. Can we please just invite two more people to play?" she asked, blushing slightly. Everyone knew she was talking about Ron [and Pansy]. "Alright," Sirius relented, "But nobody else. Otherwise it'll be annoying."  
  
Luckily, they didn't have to look far to find them. Ron and Pansy were standing right near the entrance to the Great Hall, looking very bored. "Hey Hermione," Ron said quietly. Hermione beamed. "Hey Ron. Hi Pansy. Do you want to play 'I Never' with us?" she asked, face reddening.  
  
Pansy wrinkled her nose. After her 'interesting' Truth or Dare experience, she didn't really want to play another game that was anything like it. But Ron was already nodding his head in a way that rivaled Nearly Headless Nick, so she gave in. "Fine," Pansy said, eyeing Draco slyly.  
  
"Alright, so where should we play?" Sirius asked, now addressing all seven other people. No one spoke for a second. They were all thinking. Well, Draco and Cissa weren't thinking too hard, but they were keeping quiet about it.  
  
"Well," Ron said, speaking up, "we could always play it up in my dorm." He looked around at everyone, to get an idea of whether or not this was an acceptable suggestion. "That's a great idea!" Sirius said excitedly, "Lead the way, Ron!"  
  
They walked right back to the common room, where they had started. Sirius said the password, because no one else would. "Hey, Fred and George aren't here anymore!" Ron noted in surprise, "I wonder where they went?" Hermione laughed. "Knowing them, I probably don't want to know," she said ruefully.  
  
After walking up the stairs to Gryffindor Tower, Ron let them all into the boys' dormitory. Harry, Seamus, Dean, and Neville weren't there, which was probably good. Ron doubted it would have been very comfortable to have more than the eight of them up there at once.  
  
Once the last one in (Draco) had closed the door behind them, they all sat down in something resembling a circle, sprawled on the floor. "I'm sitting next to Draco!" Pansy said, and she sat down on one side of him, dragging Ron with her.  
  
After some controversy over who was sitting where, the final circle was: Hermione, Draco, Pansy, Ron, Cissa, Remus, Sirius, and Parvati. "Okay, now what kind of 'I Never' are we going to play?" Sirius asked eagerly.  
  
"There's more than one kind?" Draco asked incredulously. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Cissa, haven't you taught him anything?" he asked, sniggering, "Yes, there's more than one kind. We could play Strip, or the kind where you have to drink a Butterbeer or Firewhiskey or something, or anything! So which kind do you guys want to play?"  
  
"I'll play anything but Strip," Hermione said, glancing around at the group playing with them, "There's no way I'd do that. Especially not which Malfoy in the room." Draco snickered. "Not as if I'd actually *want* to see that. I don't need that sort of scarring," he drawled.  
  
"Alright, well why don't we play the typical kind where you have to take a swig of Firewhiskey then," Sirius suggested. "Works for me!" Remmie said easy-goingly. With that, Sirius conjured up a couple bottles of Firewhiskey, and a shot glass for each of them, and put it in the middle of the circle.  
  
"I'll go first," Hermione volunteered bravely. Sirius agreed, and so Hermione thought of something. It wasn't too hard for her to think of something she'd never done. There were a lot of things she'd never done. "Alright," she said, "I've never snogged someone for real before."  
  
Sirius laughed. "Alright," he said, appointing himself bartender, "If you've snogged someone for real, raise your hand, and I'll pour some Firewhiskey into your shot glass." Everyone but Ron [and Hermione] raised their hands, meaning they all had to drink the small shot that Sirius poured them. He had to drink one too, of course.  
  
"Draco, you're next," Sirius said, because Draco was sitting next to Hermione in the pathetic excuse for a circle. Draco nodded, and looked around the room, trying to get an idea. "Oh! I know!" he exclaimed excitedly, "I've never kissed someone the same sex as me!"  
  
Sirius and Remus both raised their hands, Remus turning red as he did. Sirius filled both their shot glasses, and they took their second shot. Pansy didn't even need prompting before she went. "I've never run around my common room naked!" she said, giggling. "That surprises me," Ron said, looking at her with distaste.  
  
For this, Sirius was the only one who raised his hand. "I remember that!" Remmie said, sniggering, "James and I didn't shut up about it for days!" He looked like he was going to say something else, but Sirius put a hand over his mouth, and removed it only when he realized that he had to pour himself a shot, which he did.  
  
"Er- my turn, I think," Ron said faintly, "Um- I've never gotten totally drunk." Hermione grinned at him. "Thank God for that," she said appreciatively. Cissa raised her hand defiantly, and Sirius raised his too, for the fourth time. "Mum, you're such a hypocrite! You won't let me get drunk!" Draco said, whining.  
  
Cissa rolled her eyes, and drank the shot that Sirius poured for her as he drank his own. Then she said her own idea. "I've never shaved my head," she said, laughing at the very thought of it. For once, not even Sirius raised his hand. "You stumped us all, Cissa," Remmie laughed.  
  
Cissa frowned. She was obviously hoping to get at least someone to take a drink. "Damn. Lupin, it's your turn," she said sulkily. Lupin thought a second. "Alright," he said, smiling, "I've never spent an entire night up in the Astronomy Tower."  
  
"Oh! I have! In your face, mum!" Draco said, with a wink at Pansy. She also raised her hand, along with Parvati, Cissa, and Sirius. Hermione and Ron still had yet to raise their hands at all. Sirius gave Parvati, Draco, and Pansy each their second shot, Cissa her third, and he took his fifth shot.  
  
"Sirius, it's your turn," Remmie reminded him after a full minute had passed and Sirius hadn't gone. Sirius sniggered. "Oh yeah!" he said, with a tiny hint of a slur, "Er- Well, there's not much I've never done." He sat back, and thought hard. It was true, there wasn't much he hadn't done.  
  
Then he looked at Cissa, and at Draco, and it dawned on him one thing he had never done and would never do. "I've never been pregnant!" he exclaimed with triumph. Everyone except Draco laughed as Cissa was the only one who put her hand up, and Sirius poured her a shot.  
  
"That was a really stupid one, Black," Draco said sulkily. Sirius just rolled his eyes. Draco was being such a baby. "Alright, it's my turn," Parvati said excitedly, "I've never kissed Filch's cat!"  
  
Everyone playing looked around at each other to see who, if anyone, would raise their hand. Finally, after a minute, Sirius raised his hand. "What? It was on a dare!" he said defensively as everyone laughed, "Anyway, it's your turn, Mione."  
  
Hermione smiled. She had made it through an entire round without having to drink once. And she planned to make it through the whole game that way. There was no way she was going to drink Firewhiskey. And chances were good that she wouldn't have to.  
  
"Okay," she said good-naturedly, "I've never- erm- written a love poem." Well, if she was being totally honest with herself, she had, but she didn't consider what she had written in her journal about Ron to be a love poem. And besides, she wasn't being totally honest with herself.  
  
She was surprised to see that a few people actually raised their hands. Sirius did, Remus did, and (she blushed very much when she saw this) Ron did. After Sirius had drunk his seventh, and Remus had had his third, Sirius poured Ron his first. "Ron, have you ever had Firewhiskey before?" Remmie asked before Ron could pick the glass up.  
  
Ron nodded. "Yeah, once or twice I've had a little bit that one of my brothers snuck to me," he said proudly. Hermione rolled her eyes. She didn't approve of this version of the game, although she thought it was slightly better than Strip.  
  
As soon as Ron had finished the small shot glass, it was Draco's turn again. "Does anyone else find it incredibly obnoxious that Granger has yet to have her first shot this game? Actually, probably in her life?" he asked disdainfully. Pansy nodded, frowning at Hermione, and Cissa gave a small nod unnoticed to most people.  
  
"I thought so," Draco said, "I mean, even Weasley has had one. And it wasn't the first in his life! It's just so annoying!" Hermione gave him a *look*. She was really starting to get annoyed at her supposed date. "Just get on with your turn," she said exasperatedly.  
  
Suddenly the smirk that usually graced Draco's face was replaced with a grin- the same sort of grin Professor Snape might have worn if he was just about to take fifty points from Gryffindor. Everyone noticed it, because it was unusual, but only Hermione looked really nervous by it.  
  
"Well," Draco drawled, very self-satisfied, "I've never gotten one hundred and twelve percent on an exam." Pansy snickered appreciatively, and Cissa seemed to wink at Draco. Hermione, however, gave him a look of outrage.  
  
"That is so completely unfair!" she said, slowly raising her hand, along with Lupin, "Sirius, you're in charge, do I have to?" Sirius tried to clear his mind and think, finding this harder than usual. "Oh my. Sirius is in charge? Well, we're in trouble," Cissa said scornfully.  
  
After a second, Sirius answered, "Sorry Mione, but rules are rules. You have to." If he had not had seven shots of Firewhiskey already, he might have been more likely to let her slide, but he wasn't thinking quite so straight. After pouring Remmie his shot, he poured Hermione hers.  
  
She picked it up and looked at it distastefully. "I can't stand you, Draco Malfoy," she said angrily. Then, so as not to prolong her torture, she tipped her head back and poured the whole thing down her throat in one shot.  
  
"Wow," Ron said, staring at her. "Oh! That's so strong! Yuck!" Hermione said disgustedly. Everyone but Ron laughed. It was so funny to see the look of revulsion on her face. "Sorry Hermione," Remmie said, feeling a little badly, "I'm sure you won't have to have any more."  
  
And she didn't have to have one for Pansy's turn, though Parvati and Sirius did, or for Ron's (of course), or for Cissa's. By the time it got to be Professor Lupin's turn again, she and Ron had each had only one, Draco, Pansy, and Parvati had each had three, Cissa had had five, Remmie had had four, and Sirius had had a whopping ten.  
  
"Alright, it's my turn," Remmie said, thinking hard. A lot of things had already been said, and he also wanted to think of something that Sirius hadn't done either, because in his opinion he had had quite enough Firewhiskey for one night. Actually, enough for five nights.  
  
Then his eyes fell on Cissa. "I've never sat around playing a game and just let my- er- significant other go ahead and have a fling or affair or whatever with someone a whole lot younger than me," he said, realizing that that was exactly what she was doing.  
  
Everyone looked at Cissa, who had a look of extreme surprise on her face. Then her eyes lit up. "I have," she said, pouring her own shot and gulping it down, "But I'm not going to any longer. Remus, Sirius, Sirius's date, you're going to have to come with me."  
  
Looking surprised, Remmie and Parvati got up and walked to the door with Cissa. "Li'l help please?" Sirius asked from the floor, where he had tried to stand up and fallen down again. Parvati pulled him up, she and Remmie helped him out the door, following closely behind Cissa.  
  
The door shut behind them. "What do you want to do now?" Pansy asked, not one for sitting around doing nothing (unless it was sitting around doing nothing with only herself and Draco). Ron and Hermione shrugged, and Draco made no suggestions. "Why don't we sit here and do nothing for five minutes, and if we don't have an idea by then, we leave," Hermione suggested after a minute of silence.  
  
The other three agreed that it was the best idea they had, which wasn't really saying very much. "This is boring," Ron said after another minute, "I've had more fun practicing for Charms." Hermione nodded grimly, thinking that her idea really stunk.  
  
"Well then," Draco said slowly, "Why don't we practice for Charms?" Hermione and Ron only had time to look at him in shock before he muttered a temporary sleep jinx and their heads hit the floor.  
  
"Draco, what are you doing?" Pansy asked incredulously. Draco grinned at the thought of his brilliant plan. "Pansy, can't you just imagine Weasley's and Granger's reactions if they woke up next to each other in Weasley's bed?" he asked, sniggering.  
  
Pansy's mouth hung open. She clearly thought it was the most brilliant plan she had ever heard. "Come on, help me move them!" Draco said, pulling back the covers of what he knew was Ron's bed (from the Chudley Cannon banner near it).  
  
Pansy grabbed Ron's feet, and Draco took his shoulders, and they lifted him into his bed. Then they did the same to Hermione, putting her right next to him, and pulling up the covers. "This is going to be so great," Draco said, "In fifteen minutes, they'll wake up, and scream their heads off." 


	34. Finding Percy

A/N- So really soon we'll find out about Cissa's plan. Also, don't worry about Sirius being out of commission. He's going to be just as good as before; I wouldn't have it any other way. And also coming up are Hermione's and Ron's reactions, which should be fun! And of course, Percy's actual lecture thing will be coming up too. R/R!  
  
A/N- On a side note, if I didn't explain this (which I probably didn't, knowing me), just about everyone who took part in Truth or Dare knows the new password to the Gryffindor Common Room. Also, the five foot rule is still in effect.  
  
While the game of I Never had been going on in the dorms, Oliver, Katie, Fred, Angelina, George, and Alicia were looking for Percy and Penny. "Okay. Fred, George, if you were Percy, where would you be?" Oliver asked as soon as they had left the Gryffindor Common Room.  
  
George wrinkled his nose as if being Percy would be the most horrible fate ever. "Oliver, buddy, if I were Percy, you'd have to kill me, bury me, dig me up, and kill me again," Fred said, shaking his head and laughing at Oliver, who grinned.  
  
Normally Oliver and Percy were on fairly good terms, and he wasn't as amused by when people insulted him. But after what had just happened with him and Katie, Percy wasn't exactly one of his favorite people. He couldn't wait until they could get their revenge.  
  
"Obviously true, Fred," Oliver said, laughing, "but you know what I mean! Where do you think he is?" Fred screwed up his face, as if he was having a very hard time thinking. "Hmm. If I were a self-centered big-head with a severe lack of confidence around girls, where would I be? I'd have to say that if dead and buried isn't an option, then I'm going to go with Percy's dorm room. Drowning myself in Firewhiskey, probably."  
  
The group laughed. Fred did seem to have a point. "Wait though!" Angelina said, thinking of something, "Do you really think Penny would just sit there while Percy mopes? I mean, they can't separate or anything because of the five foot rule, so-" She trailed off.  
  
"Well do you have a better idea, Ang?" George asked easily. Angelina smiled. George would always agree with Fred, even if he was completely obviously wrong (not that that was necessarily the case here). "No, I don't," she said ruefully, "But I still bet that you're wrong, Fred."  
  
"Angelina, don't you know by now that I'm never wrong?" Fred asked teasingly. Angelina put her hands on her hips in mock anger. "Fred, I would bet you ten galleons he's not in there," she said, laughing. "I don't have ten galleons to spare," Fred said, somewhat truthfully, "But how about if I win, you have to be my house-elf for a day?"  
  
"And if *I* win," Angelina continued, "then *you* have to be *my* house-elf for a day." They shook on it, and Oliver, Katie, George, and Alicia sniggered at the thought of one of the two having to serve the other for a day. "Alright, well let's get on with it and see who's right," Katie said.  
  
"We have to go back to the common room again to get to the dorm!" George exclaimed, slapping his head in stupidity. So they went back through the portrait hole (Angelina said the password, because no one else wanted to), and started to climb the marble staircases that led to the dormitories.  
  
It took them hardly any time to get to the door leading to Percy (and Oliver, etc.'s) dorm. "Should we knock?" Katie asked, thinking back to when Percy had barged in on her and Oliver. Oliver shook his head. "Not a chance," he said, and he opened the door and barged right in.  
  
"Oliver! Everybody! What are you doing here?" Penny asked, from her seat on Oliver's considerably rumpled bed (which was next to Percy's immaculate one). "Hello," Percy said, turning around from his seat on his own bed.  
  
"Hey Penny," Oliver said. He didn't even say hello to Percy, but acknowledged him only with a cool nod. Percy sneered at him slightly. "So," Katie asked, "What have you guys been doing?"  
  
Penny glanced over at Percy, then looked back to the others and answered. "Well, I've just been sitting here. Incidentally Oliver, make your bed up next time," she grinned, "As for Percy, he's done all his homework, all your homework, Oliver, and he's halfway through yours, Fred."  
  
Percy snorted. "Not that either of you deserve it. I was just bored," he said, looking down at the pile of parchment and books on his bed. Everyone gaped at him. "You know, Perce, when I'm bored, I prank people, or hang out with my friends. I *don't* do other people's homework," Fred said, scandalized.  
  
"And what about *my* homework!?" George asked indignantly. Percy shrugged. "I'm sure I'll get to it before the dance is over," he said unenthusiastically. Penny glared at him. "This is so ridiculous," she said to Katie, Angelina, and Alicia, "Percy is being such a jerk."  
  
The three girls looked at her sympathetically, feeling very lucky that their dates weren't being such losers. Meanwhile, Oliver, Fred and George walked over to Percy, smirking. "Percy, we need to talk with you," Oliver said seriously, "It's important."  
  
Percy looked up from the big pile of homework on the bed. "I'm not in the mood to talk to you," he said, annoyed, "Get stuffed." The three boys sniggered. "Watch your mouth, Percy!" George said, tsk-ing at him.  
  
"I'm serious, bug off," Percy said, running a hand self-consciously through his trademark Weasley hair. They shook their heads. "Not until we have a talk," Fred smirked, "Now are you going to listen, or are you going to make us tie you to a chair with spaghetti noodles?"  
  
Percy sighed, rolling his eyes. "If I listen, then will you clear off?" he asked hopefully. All three of them nodded solemnly. "Fine. Start talking," he said, looking extremely irritated.  
  
At these words, Angelina, Alicia, and Katie had Penny sit down next to Percy on his bed, and then they sat down with Oliver, Fred, and George on Oliver's bed opposite it. "Now Percy," Katie said craftily, "We really need to get a few things straight."  
  
Meanwhile, Lucius and Cho were sitting in the bath in the Prefect's bathroom. "This is so romantic," Cho said as pink cotton-candy flavored bubbles floated around the steaming foamy water of the bath. "Mmm," Lucius replied, sitting lower in the warm water.  
  
"So, what do you want to do?" Cho asked slyly, grinning up at Mr. Malfoy. He shrugged. He wasn't the sort of person who always had to be doing something. That was something, in his opinion, that lesser wizards than himself, like Sirius Black, would do. "Let's just sit here," he said, sitting up a little taller when he felt the bottom of his precious blonde hair touch the water.  
  
"Okay," Cho said doubtfully, "But could we at least play some music?" Lucius nodded reluctantly, and Cho did a complicated wave of her wand. "AH! What kind of bloody music is that?" he asked, taken aback. Cho grinned. "It's rap!" she said enthusiastically, bobbing her head to newest WWN hit.  
  
"That's completely unreasonable! It's so obnoxious!" Lucius said fervently. Cho rolled her eyes. "It's the latest craze on the WWN! Come on, you'll like it!" she said determinedly. Lucius shook his head. This was not the type of music he liked. He would never listen to it at home. Cissa wouldn't listen to it either, he thought to himself.  
  
"Fine," he relented, "I guess I can get used to it." Cho smiled. She was used to getting her way. "Hey, I know what we can do!" she exclaimed excitedly. "What?" Lucius asked with interest, hoping it was something relaxing that would take his mind off the disastrous game of Truth or Dare.  
  
"Water fight!" she yelled, sliding off her floating bubble into the water and splashing Lucius until he was soaked. "MY HAIR!" he said, very upset that his perfect blonde locks had been drenched. However, Cho was underwater at that moment, and she didn't hear him.  
  
Deciding to try to forget about it, since Cho wouldn't have known any better, he splashed her back, and they got into a serious water fight. Cho was having the time of her life. Why wouldn't she be? She was living many girls' dream. What girl in their right mind *wouldn't* want to spend their dance in the Prefects' Bathroom with a sexy older guy?  
  
Lucius too had to admit that after the initial shock of his hair getting wet had worn off, he didn't mind having a water fight with the pretty Ravenclaw girl. It was kind of fun, actually. But still, he couldn't help thinking that Cissa would have known that his treasured hair would have much preferred to remain dry. 


	35. Giddyup

A/N- Um, okay, here goes. RivanKnight: I almost forgot about Sevvie! How could I?! He will be coming soon. Ashii Black: Siri and Remmie in the same position as Ron and Hermione? Hmm, that's an awesome idea, I'll have to work on that. As for Harry and Draco, I'll give it my best shot *little lightbulb goes on above my head*-hmm-  
  
A/N- Coming up is Ron and Hermione's reactions, and some Percy-bashing. Also, expect some expected and unexpected stuff! And also Harry and Ginny will return. Suspense! Yay! R/R!  
  
"Uh, Mrs. Malfoy, do you think maybe you could tell us your plan before we go any further?" Parvati asked as soon as they had left the Gryffindor common room. Cissa sneered at her. "It's none of your business," she said contemptuously, "All you have to do is help me."  
  
"Jus' tell us!" Sirius said exasperatedly, leaning against the wall, "Or else we're not helping." Trying not to laugh at Sirius' pathetic attempt to defy Cissa, Parvati and Remmie nodded in agreement. Cissa finally relented, and led them into a nearby empty classroom so that no one would overhear.  
  
She whispered her plan to Remmie, Parvati, and Sirius in turn. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" Parvati asked, "I mean, Snape's going to get really mad if he catches us stealing from his office."  
  
Cissa sniffed disdainfully. "I doubt Sevvie will be anywhere near his office to catch us. He's probably in the Great Hall right now, worrying about whether or not his date is going okay," she said, as if that settled the manner. The other members of her party reluctantly consented.  
  
"So we're going to the kitchens first, and then Snapie's office?" Sirius asked dubiously. Cissa nodded as if that was the stupidest question in the world. "Well, let's go then," Lupin suggested, and so the four of them started to walk down to the kitchens.  
  
"OW!" Sirius said as he tripped over one of the suits of armor in the hall. It laughed wheezily at him. "Sirius, watch where you're going," Cissa said, looking over her shoulder at him. She glared at him, at which he stuck his tongue out at her. This caused him to start laughing uncontrollably.  
  
"Can we leave him here? Please?" Cissa asked, looking to see if Remmie and Parvati would by any chance approve of this. Remus shook his head, sniggering as he looked back and forth from Sirius to Cissa.  
  
"Besides, if I'm going with you, which I fully plan to because I really want to see what happens, and then Sirius has to come with us because of the five foot thing! And anyway, all of us but you want him to come," Parvati said straightforwardly.  
  
Cissa sighed, agreeing reluctantly. "But we are not making any stops, so let's pick up the pace," she said, and started walking quickly down the hall. Lupin and Parvati followed her, and Sirius brought up the rear.  
  
"When we stop at the kitchens, can I get some more Firewhiskey?" Sirius asked as they walked down the corridor. Cissa and Parvati rolled their eyes. "Not a chance, Sirius," Remmie said seriously, shaking his head at Sirius's carelessness, "You've already had enough for a week, and in case you haven't noticed, you're completely sloshed."  
  
Sirius shook his head in protest. "I am NOT AT ALL drunk," he said. Just as he said it, though, he tripped over another suit of armor and fell onto Remmie, knocking them both over. "Okay, maybe I'm a little drunk," he admitting, rubbing his head.  
  
"Sirius? Could you let me up?" Lupin asked, breathing into the floor. Cissa and Parvati pulled Sirius up, and Remmie stood up after that. "If we keep stopping, we're never going to get the supplies, and I won't be able to see out my plan," Cissa whined, glaring at Sirius.  
  
"Don't look at me!" he slurred, grinning, "I'm innocent!" Remmie actually snorted. "You? Innocent? That's news to me," he said, sniggering. This time, Cissa glared at both of them. "I don't care whether or not you're innocent. We know that you're smashed, and every time we pass a suit of armor or a piece of dust on the ground, you're going to trip on it," she said unhappily.  
  
"So? What do you want me to do about it?" Sirius asked, rolling his eyes. Cissa was ready with an answer. "Parvati, can you piggyback him or carry him down to the kitchens?" she asked hopefully. Parvati shook her head, looking disappointed.  
  
"As much as I'd love to," she said, with a glance at Sirius, who still looked as hot as ever, "There's no way I'm going to be able to carry him. He's much taller and stronger than me. I'd be the one falling down every two steps!"  
  
Sirius winked at her, and Cissa looked vexed for a second. Then her eyes fell on the other member of her party. "Lupin? Care to do the honors?" she asked hopefully. Lupin laughed out loud. "Are you serious?" he asked, not even believing her.  
  
"No, *I'm* Sirius!" Sirius said, laughed. He was the only one who laughed, though. Cissa had to grit her teeth to keep from cursing him on the spot. "Sirius, don't you dare make one more joke about your name, first, last, or middle. And yes, Lupin, I am serious," she said, smirking.  
  
Lupin stood there, dumbfounded, shaking his head. "Please?" she asked in the nicest voice she could muster against someone she really wasn't too fond of. "Please?" Sirius mimicked, pouting at him.  
  
"Fine. Fine, I'll do it!" Remmie said, laughing at the looks on everyone's faces. Cissa grinned. She wouldn't have had it any other way. "Good," she said, "Let's get this moving."  
  
So Sirius climbed onto Lupin's back (with a lot of help from Parvati and Cissa). "Giddyup!" he said, sniggering. Lupin looked over his shoulder at Sirius, who was still laughing, and rolled his eyes. "I'm going, I'm going!" he said, and he followed Cissa and Parvati down the corridor.  
  
On the opposite side of the school, Sevvie and Ally were talking. "That was the most humiliating and embarrassing game I have ever played," Snape said, eyes still flashing. Ally giggled. "I thought it was kind of fun," she said, thinking back to the experience.  
  
Sevvie looked up at her, shocked. "Really?" he asked, hardly believing his ears. She nodded, blushing. Snape's eyebrows would have shot straight off his head if that was possible. Luckily, he managed to keep them in place.  
  
"So, what do you want to do now?" he asked in what he hoped was a subtle, calm way. Even if it didn't come across to Ally like that, she pretended it did. "We could get something to eat," she suggested, smiling, "Do you want to go get something from the Great Hall?"  
  
Sevvie shook his head. He would have agreed with almost anything Ally suggested, but the thought of meeting up with more students- or other professors- held him back. He didn't want a repeat of his Truth or Dare experience.  
  
"Why don't we go down to the kitchens instead?" he suggested, feeling that they would be much less likely to meet obnoxious people there than in the Great Hall. Ally agreed easily. "Let's go," she said, grabbing his hand and leading him down the hall.  
  
Sevvie was extremely surprised (and very pleased), but he tried not to show his shock. Instead, he followed her down the corridor, enjoying himself immensely. As they reached a corridor near the kitchens, they stopped short.  
  
"What was that?" Ally asked curiously, as she heard a crash, then the thud of two people hitting the floor, and loud laughter. Snape listened hard. "I have no idea who it was," he said, "But I'm sure it's not anything- or more likely anyone- good."  
  
"Is there anywhere else we can go instead, if you don't want to run into them?" Ally asked thoughtfully. Snape thought about it, and then the perfect solution came to him. There was definitely one place in the school where he was sure no one would bother him.  
  
"Why don't we go to my office?" he suggested guardedly. Ally grinned. "Sounds perfect," she said, and they turned and walked in the opposite direction of the kitchens, toward Snape's office.  
  
Meanwhile, in the Great Hall, the dance was being carried on in full swing. "This is so cool!" Lavender said happily, as she and Seamus danced enthusiastically to the music. Seamus nodded, wiping his forehead. He and Lavender hadn't stopped dancing at all since they had returned to the Great Hall from Truth or Dare.  
  
"Do you want to get a drink?" Seamus asked hopefully as the song ended. Lavender nodded breathlessly. "Definitely," she said, and they walked over to the refreshment table. They both really needed a drink. Every song that had been played had been a fast one.  
  
"That is so much better," Lavender said after they had each grabbed a Butterbeer off the table. Seamus nodded, not stopping drinking. They both finished their bottle before the song that had just started playing had ended. "Let's go dance again!" Lavender exclaimed, "I love this song!"  
  
Seamus shook his head. "I can't dance to another fast song right now," he said, "My legs are tired!" As if on cue, the song ended. This time, though, they played the first slow song of the evening. "Er- want to dance?" Seamus asked hopefully. Lavender nodded, grinning, and they put down their Butterbeer bottles and walked out onto the dance floor. A lot of other couples were doing the same.  
  
Seamus didn't notice this at first. He was too preoccupied with trying to figure out how to slow dance. "I don't really know how to slow dance very well," he said self-consciously. Lavender giggled. "I'll teach you," she said. Then she took his hands and put them on her hips, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.  
  
After a second, Seamus got the hang of it easily, and was free to enjoy Lavender's arms around him while looking around the room at the other people dancing. Lavender was doing the same.  
  
They both laughed when they saw Dean and Padma dancing, because Padma was trying to teach Dean how, but he was having a much harder time of it than Seamus, and kept stepping on Padma's feet from the looks of it. "Hey, look at Colin Creevey," Lavender whispered to Seamus.  
  
Colin was just standing a few feet away from the dance floor, pouting. He looked very put out, and when they looked a short distance away from him, they saw that this was probably because Dennis, Colin's little brother, was dancing pretty closely with a girl from his year.  
  
"I wonder whether he's worried about his brother, or mad that he doesn't have a partner," Lavender questioned. Seamus laughed quietly. "He's probably upset that Harry isn't dancing with him," he said lightly, "Speaking of which, I wonder where Harry is?"  
  
As they moved around the dance floor slowly, they saw him. He was dancing slightly awkwardly with Ginny, whose face was once again as red as her hair. But both of them looked incredibly happy. "They have had it bad for each other forever," Lavender commented, seeing the looks in their eyes.  
  
"Harry needs to stop being so nervous around her. He looks so uncomfortable!" Seamus observed. Suddenly, Lavender grinned. "I think we should give them a push in the right direction," she said sneakily, "What do you think?"  
  
Seamus sniggered. Lavender always had the best ideas. She was so much fun. "Let's do it!" he said. As the song wore on, they danced over to where Harry and Ginny were. "Just follow my lead," Lavender whispered in Seamus' ear. He flushed inexplicably and nodded.  
  
"Aren't Harry and Ginny just the cutest couple?" Lavender said loudly enough for both of them to hear. Without missing a beat, Seamus said, "They really are. They're perfect for each other."  
  
Looking out of the corners of their eyes, Lavender and Seamus saw that both Harry and Ginny were looking over at them and blushing. "I'm surprised that they haven't had so much as one snog besides in Truth or Dare," Lavender said in the same tone she would use when gossiping with Parvati.  
  
Seamus almost laughed, but stopped himself. "Yeah. I would have thought they would. Maybe they'd rather wait and have some privacy," he said smoothly. Lavender nodded, making sure Harry and Ginny could see them. "That would make sense. But since Harry can't go up to Ginny's dorm, where would they find privacy?" she asked curiously.  
  
Seamus was ready with an answer. "Well, I'm sure that Harry's and my dorm is empty," he said subtly, "Maybe they'll go up there." As soon as he had said that, Lavender danced him away.  
  
"I think that went well," she said as soon as they were out of earshot of Harry and Ginny. Seamus nodded, sniggering. "Well, our work there is done," Lavender continued, looking happily at Seamus, "Why don't we go do some snogging of our own?"  
  
"But we can't go up to my room," Seamus pointed out, "because Harry and Ginny might go there. So where else is there privacy?" Lavender thought for a second. "Who needs privacy?" she laughed, and they sat down at one of the small tables set up around the edges of the Great Hall and started to snog.  
  
The slow song ended just a few seconds later, and Harry and Ginny went over to the refreshment table for some Butterbeer. "That was fun," Ginny said quietly. Harry nodded, grinning to himself. "Did you hear what Lavender and Seamus were saying?" he asked hesitantly.  
  
Ginny nodded, blushing again. "Yeah," she said, looking up at him, "What did you think of it?" Harry looked extremely nervous. Fighting dementors was nothing compared to talking to girls. "Well," he said, and then hesitated, "what did you think of it?"  
  
"I asked you first," she said coyly. Harry sighed. She had caught him. "Well, er, I mean," he stammered, "I thought it sounded kind of nice. I- I mean- we wouldn't have to - to kiss or anything. We could just talk."  
  
Ginny beamed at him. "That would be perfect," she said happily, "Let's go." She shyly took his hand, and they walked back towards Harry's dorm. "Oh, and Harry?" she whispered to him as they got closer. Harry looked at her questioningly, and she continued, "I wouldn't mind if we kissed." 


	36. Quills and Homework

A/N- Finally, here is the lecture à là Fred and George! Hope its okay. Coming soon are Ron and Hermione's reactions (this time for real), and Cissa's plan, and much much more! YAY! R/R!  
  
Up in Percy's room, Percy was getting extremely exasperated. Fred, George, Oliver, Angelina, Alicia, and Katie were certainly taking their time in deciding what to say to him. "I'm still waiting. If you don't talk soon, I'm going to walk out of here," Percy said, aggravated.  
  
"Oh no you're not!" Penny said, glaring at him, "But seriously, let's go everyone." Oliver nodded. They had thought for long enough. "Hmm," said George, eyes glimmering, "How can we put this so that you'll understand things? This is tough. I wish you played Quidditch, because I gave Oliver a nice little talk about that. But I'm sure there's something we can tell you that you'll understand."  
  
Suddenly, Fred's eyes widened. "I've got it!" he said, bouncing up and down on the bed, "I've got it!" Everyone looked at him expectantly. "Tell me what your idea is, and I'll tell it!" George said eagerly.  
  
Fred shook his head and stuck his tongue out at George. "I want to tell it!" he said sulkily. They went back and forth for a minute, arguing over who was going to say Fred's idea. Finally, Angelina interrupted their argument. "Alright, as much as we'd all like to tell it, Fred is telling it because it was his idea, and that's all there is to it," she said.  
  
Fred grinned at Angelina for a minute, but then turned back to Percy (and Penny). "Alright Percy. Let me ask you this. Do you consider yourself to be a good student?" he asked laughingly.  
  
Percy looked at him in annoyance. "I'm one the best students at Hogwarts!" he said proudly, "I'm a great student!" Oliver and Penny rolled their eyes. Angelina, Alicia, and Katie gave Penny an awestruck look. They didn't understand how she could deal with him. Percy was an extremely stuck- up prat.  
  
"Okay Percy. It's good to know that confidence isn't one of your problems," Fred sniggered, "Anyway, let me put it in terms for you.  
  
Guys are like quills, and girls are like homework. Now most quills tend to leave homework to the last minute. This is not a good idea at all. It's a very bad idea. The quills may not want to do the homework for any number of reasons. The main reason for this is that the homework sometimes looks like it'll be hard to handle.  
  
It can look intimidating, Percy, and that can scare a quill so much that its ink will run dry. But all the same, whether it looks hard or easy, the homework needs to be done. Even the homework itself may not think so, but deep down, it knows it has to happen sooner or later.  
  
Many things can happen along the way to distract the quill from doing the homework. Some other person may come take the quill away. They might suck on it while try to think of an answer. Quills may welcome this, because it means that the time when they have to work on the homework gets put off.  
  
But when a quill sees another quill doing homework, it's bound to get jealous and upset, because the quill would wish that they could do that. In fact they can, it's just that some quills lack ink, or confidence, if you will.  
  
What really has to happen is for a quill to put aside its fear of getting an answer wrong, and just suck it up and do the homework. The homework will be happy, the quill will be happy, and all the other quills and homeworks will be happy too, because that way they don't have to listen to the lonely quill whine about how they're too scared to do their homework.  
  
So in short, a CERTAIN QUILL should get up off his LAZY BUM, stop WORRYING about whether or not he's GOOD ENOUGH, and DO SOME HOMEWORK! Then we can all point and laugh and all, but at least the DAMN QUILL will be HAPPY! DO YOU GET IT, QUILL-BOY?" Fred asked, laughing uncontrollably along with Oliver, George, and the three girls.  
  
"Are you implying that I don't do my homework on time?!" Percy asked in an outrage. Oliver mock gasped. "Percy! We would *never* imply *that*!" he said, shaking his head as if it was crazy talk. Percy gaped for a second, and then glared at all six of them. "So you're implying that-" he got out before George interrupted him.  
  
"Yes Percy. We are implying that you've been an insensitive jerk to Penny. We are also implying that you have an inferiority complex around girls, and that you need to get over yourself and make a move! And stop being a SCAREDY-CAT!" George laughed, giving Fred a high-five.  
  
Percy glared defiantly at them. "I am *not* a 'scaredy-cat', as you so eloquently put it," he said derisively, "Have I been a 'scaredy-cat', Penny?" All eyes turned to Penny, who smiled ruefully at Percy. "Yeah Percy," she said, "You kind of have been."  
  
Angelina, Alicia, and Katie managed to hold back their laughter, but Fred, George, and Oliver started sniggering uncontrollably at the look on Percy's face. He looked shocked. "I- I- I- what would be my grade here, if this was a homework assignment?" he asked, causing even the girls to break out giggling.  
  
"Percy," Penny said honestly, "that's part of your problem. You are so obsessed with responsibility that you don't let yourself have any fun! None of your brothers have done anything wrong, so there was no cause for worry there. And there was no need to get mad at Oliver."  
  
Percy looked at Oliver irritably. "But- but- he was- with Katie!" he stammered, at a loss for words. Oliver and Katie rolled their eyes. "There was no need to be jealous, Perce," Fred said on a gamble.  
  
"I WAS NOT JEALOUS!" Percy said hotly, looking from Oliver and Katie to Penny. In fact, though, he was jealous. Jealous that Oliver had so much confidence around girls. "I wish girls were as easy to understand as homework," Percy commented, slightly calmer.  
  
This time it was Angelina who burst out laughing. "Percy," she said amid giggles, "Listen. Right now you're failing this assignment, okay? But there's still time to bring your grade up. So I suggest you get to work."  
  
Percy looked startled for a second, and he couldn't seem to decide whether to be really annoyed or slightly relieved. He settled for both. "All six of you have a *lot* of nerve. I cannot even believe that you would do this. I am banishing you all from the room until further notice. Now get out!"  
  
The six intruders laughed, and then, with one last wink at Percy and Penny, they walked out. However, they didn't move very far. They stayed there just long enough to hear Percy say to Penny, "We really need to talk."  
  
"I cannot believe we just did that," Katie said as they walked away from the room. "Neither can I," Oliver laughed, shaking his head. Everyone agreed. It was stupid of them, because if things didn't go well for Percy the rest of the evening, they were likely to be on his hit list for life. But chances were they were going to stay lucky, and their little 'talk' would help Percy rather than hurt him.  
  
As they walked down the corridor and into the common room, Fred's eyes went wide. "What is it?" Angelina asked curiously. Fred didn't answer for a second, then he started smirking like crazy. "Fred, are you feeling okay?" George asked, looking at his twin suspiciously.  
  
Fred nodded. "I've never felt better!" he said perkily, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Fred, either tell us what you're thinking or stop grinning like a nut," Oliver commanded, rolling his eyes at Fred.  
  
"Alright," Fred said, still smirking, but, Oliver noticed, more at Angelina than anyone else. "Angelina," he began happily, "Do you remember back in the common room a little while ago, we made a little bet?"  
  
Angelina's eyebrows raised, and she looked at him in surprise. "Yeah," she said simply. Plainly, she had been hoping that he would forget. "Well," Fred sniggered, "I believe I just won."  
  
* * * *  
  
"Well," Sevvie said as they reached the door to his office/quarters, "Here we are." He and Ally stood there in front of it, but he made no move to open the door. Ally glanced at him in surprise. "Sev, are you going to open the door?" she asked questioningly.  
  
"I- um- oh yeah," he said, laughing nervously as he opened the door with the hand not occupied with holding Ally's. She giggled, and they walked inside, shutting the door almost all the way behind them.  
  
Ally looked all around. "Hmm. Your office is nicer than mine," she said, laughing, "But if you want to have something to eat, maybe it would be more comfortable to sit on a couch in there?" She pointed through the empty doorframe into the adjoining room, which was Snape's combined bedroom/living room.  
  
Snape had to struggle for breath. He wasn't used to having anyone come past his office. Actually, he was barely used to having anyone *in* his office, save intolerable students who he had to give detentions to. But he was more than happy to have Ally come in. "Sure, let's go," he said in a would-be calm voice as he lead her in.  
  
He sat down on a black leather loveseat at the far end of the sitting room, on the opposite side of the quarters as his bedroom area. After looking around for a minute, Ally came and sat down with him. "Oh yeah," Sevvie said, remembering why they had come down there in the first place, "Do you want anything to eat?"  
  
He took Ally over to his little mini fridge. "Oh, let's have ice cream!" she said, giggling as she took out a pint of coffee ice cream. After Sevvie scooped some quickly into two bowls, he put the container back, and they went and sat back down on the loveseat.  
  
"This is delicious," Ally said after they had sat down. Snape laughed slightly. "That's the first time I've ever heard someone say that about my coffee ice cream. No one ever likes it. Not that many people have tried it," he admitted, "but everyone says that it's too intense."  
  
Ally smiled at him. Sevvie noticed that her eyes looked especially deep in the slightly more dim light of his room. "Well," she said softly as she pushed her hair out of her eye, "I like things intense." 


	37. Not Quite Crookshanks

A/N- Coming soon are more Sevvie and Ally, more of Cissa's plan, and Lucius and Cho. Also some Percy and Penny I think, and probably some Fred and George and their group. And of course, Harry and Ginny. R/R!  
  
"Are we there yet?" Sirius asked as he, Remmie, Parvati, and Cissa continued making their way down to the kitchens. Parvati, Remmie, and Cissa rolled their eyes. "No Sirius, we're not there yet," Remmie said, amazed that he had the patience to put up with that question, considering it was the eighth time Sirius had asked it.  
  
Sirius frowned, although Remmie didn't see it, because Sirius was still on his back. A minute later, Sirius asked again, "Are we there yet?" Cissa shot him a death glare, but didn't say anything. "No Sirius, we're not there yet," Remmie said again, sighing at how annoying Sirius could be, especially when he was drunk.  
  
They only had two corridors left until they got to the kitchens when Sirius pushed his luck yet again. "Are we there yet?" he asked again, hopefully. Remmie was about to answer him for the tenth time when Cissa interrupted.  
  
"No Sirius, we're not there yet," she said angrily, "Do you want to know *why* we're not there yet? Because you're so smashed that Lupin has to piggyback you down to the kitchens. That's why. This is all your fault for making us play I Never."  
  
"My fault?" Sirius asked, annoyed, "How is it *my* fault?" Remmie and Parvati decided to keep their mouths shut on this one. Cissa sighed with aggravation. "Sirius, I just told you that. If you can't remember what I said two seconds ago, then we definitely need to borrow a Sobering Potion while we're in Snape's office. In fact, we need to do that anyway."  
  
Cissa just continued glaring up at Sirius, who glared down at her. They were still glaring at each other when they arrived in front of the entrance to the kitchens. Neither Cissa nor Sirius noticed. "Guys, we're there in case you were wondering," Parvati said, laughing.  
  
They both stopped glaring and looked. Naturally, Parvati was telling the truth, because the fruit painting was right in front of them. "OOH! Can I tickle the fruit?" Sirius asked, sniggering uncontrollably again.  
  
"No comment," Parvati said, laughing. Cissa just rolled her eyes. "Whatever you want, Sirius, but you better make it quick because I think Cissa is going to lose her cool n about five seconds," Remmie said, walking over to the portrait so that Sirius could tickle it.  
  
"I can't reach!" Sirius said, realizing that he wasn't close enough, because Lupin was in between them. Lupin very sensibly tried to turn around and bend down a little bit so that Sirius would be able to reach better. Unfortunately, they both fell to the floor.  
  
"Sirius, would you mind getting off?" Remmie asked from his spot on the floor under Sirius. Sniggering, Sirius stood up, with a little help from Parvati and Cissa. Remmie stood up after him, shaking his head. Then Sirius tickled the pear, and the picture swung open.  
  
They walked into the kitchen, with Sirius supported by Lupin and Cissa, and Parvati walking next to Lupin. Immediately, a dozen house-elves hurried over to them, Dobby at the front. "How is we helping you today, misters and misses?" Dobby asked, smiling up at them with his huge tennis ball eyes.  
  
"We'd like two bottles of Firewhiskey, please," Sirius said, slightly slurred. Two house-elves were about to run off and get them when Lupin stopped them. "Thanks, but we will *not* be needing any Firewhiskey tonight," he said, looking pointedly at Sirius, who sulked.  
  
"That's right," Cissa said coolly, "But we will be needing a bottle of champagne and two champagne flutes." Dobby smiled up at her, clearly not recognizing her as his old family. "Coming right up," he said, and he personally went off and got what she had asked for.  
  
"Thanks," Parvati said when Cissa took the bottle and the two glasses and didn't say anything. They were just about to walk out of the portrait when Cissa turned back to look at Dobby. "Wait a minute," she said, staring at him, "do I know you from somewhere?"  
  
Dobby blinked at her, thinking. Cissa was thinking too. Suddenly it dawned on her where she knew the house-elf from. "You're that house-elf who used to work for my family! Ugh, what are *you* doing here?" she asked, wrinkling her nose.  
  
Dobby rolled his eyes. "I is working here! You should be knowing that! After all, old Master came down here earlier to get some ice cream and stuff. Wasn't it for you and him?" he asked curiously.  
  
Cissa shook her head, eyes flashing. The ice cream, of course, had been for Truth or Dare, and that was still a sensitive topic to her. "You mean you is not his date?" Dobby asked inquiringly, still staring up at her.  
  
Again Cissa shook her head angrily. "Odd," Dobby commented, "old Master didn't seem very upset about this." Remmie and Parvati drew in their breath, thinking that Cissa was sure to just explode at that. Sirius just sniggered.  
  
"Thank you so much for your help, Lobby," Cissa said sarcastically. Dobby nodded, not quite catching the sarcasm. Then Cissa turned on her heel and stormed out of the room. Remmie and Parvati followed, helping Sirius.  
  
"I hate house-elves," Cissa said, now walking a little slower so that she wouldn't drop the champagne and glasses, "They're stupid creatures, really. They don't know anything."  
  
No one commented on that. They didn't want to argue with Cissa when she was this annoyed. It could lead to loss of limbs. "So now are we going to Snape's office?" Parvati asked as they continued to walk down the corridor.  
  
Cissa nodded. "Mmm-hmm. We have to get what I need for my plan, and we also have to get Sirius a Sobering Potion. The sooner we do that, the better. Let's go," she said, walking faster again, and leaving the others struggling to keep up.  
  
* * * *  
  
"This is going to be so cool!" Pansy exclaimed to Draco as they made some finishing touches arranging Hermione and Ron in a way that was sure to make them scream. Draco nodded, already smirking. "I can't believe we're going to pull this off," he said, "for once, Gryffindor's resident know-it- all was caught off her guard."  
  
Pansy smiled. "It makes a nice change," she said, sniggering, "I can't wait until they wake up. I'd pay five galleons just to see their faces. How long is it until they wake up, anyway?"  
  
Draco pointed to the clock next to Ron's bed, and they both saw that they only had five minutes more to wait. They sat there eagerly for four minutes. Then they started counting down until the time when Ron and Hermione would wake up.  
  
Finally, they reached one, and then zero. Draco and Pansy knelt down on the side of Harry's bed not next to Ron's, to watch the show. Then, true to form, both Hermione and Ron started to stir.  
  
"Just a few more minutes!" Ron said sleepily, blinking, and then burying his head in his pillow. Hermione opened her eyes sleepily and yawned. "This is really comfortable," she said softly, groping around for her copy of Hogwarts, A History. She always kept it on her bedside table, and she always read a chapter of it when she woke up.  
  
Instead of feeling the thick, heavy book, she felt soft, slightly curly red hair. "Crookshanks?" she asked fuzzily, causing Draco and Pansy to have to stifle their laughter in Harry's pillows, "Is that you? How are you, kitty?"  
  
Eyes still half-closed, she began cuddling Ron's head, thinking that it was Crookshanks. Suddenly, Ron's voiced, muffled by the pillow, yelled, "Harry, Seamus, Dean, Neville, which one of you is molesting my head?!"  
  
"RON?" Hermione gasped, sitting straight up in his bed. Ron unburied his face from the pillow, and sat up too. "HERMIONE?" he choked out, looking from her face to his bed and back. (They were both way too preoccupied with the situation at hand to notice Draco and Pansy for quite a while).  
  
"RON! Why the bloody hell am I in your bed?" she demanded of him, blinking like crazy as if to make sure she wasn't dreaming. Ron looked at her, bewildered, but he didn't look as worried and upset as she did. "I'd kind of like to know that too," he said in confusion, "And while we're at it, why were you molesting my head?"  
  
Hermione glared at him, as if she could not believe he would say something like that. "RON WEASLEY!" she exclaimed angrily, "Don't try to tell me that you don't know how we got here! You know as well as I do you must have tricked me into this! And you had just better remember whether or not anything happened!"  
  
Ron couldn't help laughing, both at the look on Hermione's face, and at what she said. "I don't know!" he said innocently, still completely puzzled. Hermione glowered at him. "RON! I want an explanation, and I want it now! For all I know, we could have just shagged! How do you know we didn't!? Ron Weasley, if you shagged me and you know about it, you tell me right now!"  
  
Ron looked at her, still baffled. "I don't know, Mione, honest!" he said, hoping she would believe him. He was telling the truth after all, but he knew that once Hermione got an idea in her head, it was pretty hard to get it out of her head. She could be very stubborn like that.  
  
"Don't you 'I don't know, Mione' me! Why else would we be in your bed? Isn't there some way to find out for sure?" she asked in a panicky voice. Ron thought for a second. "Hermione, calm down," he said.  
  
He almost laughed, but he managed to refrain from it, and then he continued, "We're both completely dressed, okay? And I don't feel any different, do you? Trust me, you'd know if we had shagged."  
  
This seemed to calm Hermione down a little bit, because she obviously felt normal. But then she realized exactly what Ron had just said. "Wait! RON! How do you know how we would feel different?" she asked, distressed all over again.  
  
Ron rolled his eyes. "Hermione," he said sensibly, "I've got five older brothers. I know things." Hermione breathed a sigh of relief and tried to calm herself down as much as she could. "Okay," she said evenly, but still breathing a little heavily from being so upset, "Do you remember the last thing we did before we fell asleep?"  
  
Ron thought as hard as he could. He really wanted to answer the question, because he knew if he could remember, Hermione would be less likely to murder him for no good reason. "Er," he said, not getting very far, "We were really bored, I think. And then something about Charms?"  
  
All of a sudden, Hermione gasped, and looked around the room. Her eyes quickly fell on Draco and Pansy, whose heads were just visible over the side of Harry's bed. "MALFOY!" Hermione yelled furiously, "PANSY!" Ron looked over at them too, and at the same time, they figured out exactly what had happened.  
  
Too stunned to move, they sat there under the covers while Draco and Pansy came out from their hiding spot, smirking. "Have a good time?" Draco drawled, sniggering at the looks on Ron and Hermione's faces. Neither Ron nor Hermione could find words bad enough to retort, so they just sat there glaring at him.  
  
Out of nowhere, the doorknob to the room started to turn. "Quick! Hide!" Hermione whispered anxiously. She and Ron both slid all the way under the covers of Ron's bed, pulling them over their heads. Draco and Pansy ran to the closet and got out of sight inside it. They all disappeared from view just in time before the door opened. 


	38. Investigation

A/N- Alright, here's more! Coming up is more Ron and Hermione reaction stuff, combined with some Harry and Ginny and Draco and Pansy. Also more of what's in this chapter! R/R!  
  
"That was so much fun," Cho said after she and Lucius had finished their water fight. Lucius nodded. He was actually proud of himself. He did *not* like to get his hair wet at all (unless he was in his own shower), but he thought that he had tolerated this very well.  
  
"Do you mind if we just sit on the bubbles now, though?" Lucius asked, sitting up on one himself and magicking his hair dry. Cho agreed readily. She was perfectly happy to just relax now that she had gotten to have a water fight.  
  
"Do you want to have some champagne?" Lucius asked, seeing that someone who had obviously been enjoying themselves away from the dance also had left a bottle of champagne and some unused glasses over by the portrait of the mermaid on the wall.  
  
Cho nodded eagerly. It wasn't often that she got to drink champagne, since strictly speaking, she wasn't legally allowed to. She certainly couldn't do it at home. But at school she always took the opportunity, and this was definitely too good an opportunity to resist.  
  
"I'll get it," she said, and she climbed out of the pool/bath. After pouring two glasses of champagne, she brought them over to herself and Lucius, and slipped back into it and onto a bubble. "Thank you," Lucius said smoothly, taking one of the glasses from her and sipping it.  
  
"So, what do you want to do now?" Cho asked, not very subtly moving closer to Lucius. He shrugged, not really catching the hint as he sipped his champagne. "Because you know we could-um-kiss," she said, giggling as she tasted the bubbles in the champagne.  
  
Lucius looked at her in awe. No other girl he had ever met, except occasionally Cissa, had ever been that up front with him. "Not very subtle," he commented, laughing slightly. Cho blushed, but ignored her embarrassment, which wasn't very much. "Well, no. I don't like just sitting back. Is that a problem?" she asked, twirling her hair around her finger.  
  
Lucius shook his head. He loved when people took matters into their own hands. It took all the pressure off him. Cissa did that sometimes, and he loved it. This reminded him a little of her, although he didn't quite realize it.  
  
"Not at all," he said honestly, "I think it's sort of sexy." Cho grinned, and moving even closer, she leaned in to kiss him. He didn't resist, and they started to snog fervently, both really enjoying themselves.  
  
* * * *  
  
"Are we there yet?" Sirius asked as he, Remmie, Cissa, and Parvati got closer to Snape's office. Cissa glared back at him. "Sirius, don't you dare start that again," she said, flipping her straight blonde hair out of her eyes, "I cannot wait until we get there either, because then not only can we get what I need, we can also get a Sobering Potion."  
  
Remmie sniggered at this. "Cissa, you know you're going to be just as annoyed with Sirius whether he's drunk or not, so you might as well give up complaining about him," he said. He was probably completely right, too, because Cissa had complained about Sirius the entire evening, no more when he was drunk than when he wasn't.  
  
Only a few minutes later, they reached the door to Snape's office. "Okay, let's be really quiet," Parvati said before they entered. Cissa looked at her in surprise. "Why? We know Snape's not in there! Why bother being quiet?" she asked, confused.  
  
Parvati shrugged, but stuck her ground. "This is Snape we're talking about. He probably has his office rigged or something. Besides, I could get a detention if anyone heard me in there. Let's just be really quiet, okay?" she said a little nervously.  
  
Cissa, Remus, and Sirius agreed. Cissa opened the door as quietly as she could, and they all tiptoed inside, shutting it almost all the way behind them, the same way as they had found it.  
  
"Alright, you help me look for the Veritaserum," Cissa whispered to Parvati, "Lupin, you look and see if Snape has a Sobering Potion around here somewhere. Sirius, you lean against the wall and keep your mouth shut."  
  
They all immediately did as she said, even Sirius, which was surprising. Not one of them wanted to get caught in Snape's office by anyone. "I found some Sobering Potion," Remmie whispered after a minute, walking over to Sirius, "Here, why don't you drink it now."  
  
Sirius reluctantly took a sip from the goblet that Lupin held out. "Don't be a baby, Sirius, just drink it all!" Remmie said quietly, handing him the glass. Sirius halfheartedly drank it all. He made a face as soon as he had finished. It didn't taste very good.  
  
But a few seconds later, it worked. A little of the bloodshot-ness was removed from Sirius's eyes, and they seemed to focus more. He also stood up much more easily without leaning against the wall. "That's better," he said, handing the empty goblet back to Remmie, who put it down where he had found it.  
  
"Good," Remmie said, smiling with relief, "Too bad you'll still have the hangover from hell tomorrow morning." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Who cares about tomorrow morning, Remmie?" he asked incredulously, "This is tonight! I'll worry about tomorrow morning when it comes! Besides, maybe I'll be lucky and not get one."  
  
Remus nodded along with Sirius's optimistic attitude. He himself was sure that Sirius would not feel the same way about it in the morning, but he decided to let Sirius realize this himself. "Alright, let's help Cissa and Parvati look for some Veritaserum," he said, starting to look around himself.  
  
Sirius consented, and was about to start looking when he heard a noise. "Did you hear that?" he whispered to Cissa, Remmie, and Parvati. Cissa looked at Sirius skeptically. "Hear what?" she asked in an undertone, turning away from the shelf she had been looking in.  
  
Sirius listened and heard it again. "That," he said, standing still, "That noise. Did you hear it? It sounded like a sigh or something. Listen, maybe you'll hear it again." The four of them froze like Sirius, trying to hear.  
  
Pretty soon they heard it again, quietly. "That sounded like the pathetic noise you made when I was giving you the massage during Truth or Dare," Cissa laughed softly, "I wonder what it is."  
  
"I don't," Parvati said anxiously, "I don't like being in Snape's office at all, and I'd rather not stay and investigate. Let's just find the Veritaserum and get out of here." Sirius shook his head. "No way, I really want to know what it is," he said, looking around as if expecting whatever it was to jump out at them.  
  
Remmie agreed with him, of course. Parvati turned to Cissa, hoping for her support. As much as she liked Sirius, she did not want to stay in Snape's office. But Cissa shook her head. She was just as curious as Sirius and Remmie about what it was. "Let's check his room," she said, sneaking through the doorframe into Snape's quarters, "But be really, really quiet."  
  
They walked over to the living room area first. "Coffee ice cream!" Sirius exclaimed almost silently, eyeing two bowls with a little bit of coffee ice cream remaining in them. "Yuck," Cissa said, making a face. She had tried Snape's coffee ice cream before. It was way too intense for her.  
  
They continued looking around the living room area. "Champagne!" Sirius silently exclaimed again, looking at two empty champagne glasses next to a bottle of champagne which had about a fourth of the bubbly liquid left in it. "Interesting," Remmie said, laughing inaudibly.  
  
"Shoes!" Sirius said, pointing out a pair of black strappy sandals next to a pair of black Oxfords. All four people in the group were very confused now. They had found a lot of evidence, but none of them really seemed to know what all the clues pointed to.  
  
"Wait, I just heard the noise again," Parvati whispered as quietly as she could, looking over to where she had heard the noise, "Oh no, what if it's Mrs. Norris, and she's stuck in Professor Snape's bed or something?"  
  
The other three raised their eyebrows. That wasn't the first thing that would have occurred to them, but since their minds were blank, it seemed as likely as anything else. "Well, there's only one way to find out," said Sirius bravely (or stupidly), "Let's go investigate."  
  
* * * *  
  
As soon as Penny was sure that Fred, George, and their little group were out of earshot, she went on talking to Percy. "Did you get what Fred and George were saying, Percy?" she asked nervously, not knowing exactly what to say to him.  
  
Percy nodded, looking down at the floor. "Unfortunately," he said sincerely, "and I realized that I deserved an F. No, worse. I deserved a G." Penny laughed. Percy hardly ever made jokes about grades, so when he did, it was really appreciated. "Well I deserved maybe a C at best," she admitted, smiling ruefully.  
  
"No," Percy sighed, shaking his head, "You did everything right. You deserved an A. But I can't believe I was such a jerk. I'm really, really sorry." He meant it, too. He had gotten so carried away in his own nervousness about the date that he had done everything he could to avoid facing his fears. This included driving Ginny, Ron, Fred, George, and Oliver crazy.  
  
"Well, I guess you understood what Fred and George said too then, right?" Percy asked. Penny nodded, eyes twinkling, and Percy continued, "Good, because I don't think I'd be able to explain it. Anyway, er-do you want to go down to the Great Hall and enjoy the rest of the dance?"  
  
Penny beamed. "Percy, I thought you'd never ask," she said, rolling her eyes, "I'd love to. Let's go." She took his hand, and he followed her, slightly dazed, out of his room and towards the common room.  
  
Mentally, Percy was kicking himself. If he had just been honest with both himself and Penny from the start, they could have done a whole lot more hand holding and things like that before now. 


	39. Right and Wrong

A/N- Hey again! Coming up are Sirius, Parvati, Remmie, and Cissa, along with Ally and Sevvie, and Lucius, and Cho. And more later! Sorry the chappie name isn't great. R/R!  
  
"I can't tell you how good it feels not to be down there on the dance floor under constant observation by Seamus and Lavender," Harry said to Ginny as they walked into his dorm, closing the door behind them.  
  
Ginny nodded. She definitely agreed, especially since she didn't want one of the biggest gossips in the school to tell all of Hogwarts that she and Harry were actually having a great time on their date.  
  
From under the covers of Ron's bed, Ron and Hermione heard this, and from the closet, Draco and Pansy did too, and started listening. "So, um, what do you want to do?" Ginny asked softly, smiling at Harry. She looked a little nervous. Harry could tell, because he was sure that his face had an identical look.  
  
"Who was that?" Ron whispered as quietly as he could to Hermione, not recognizing Ginny's voice. Hermione tried to think, but, for one of the first times ever, she couldn't. "Ron, did you just chew cinnamon gum?" she asked, giggling quietly.  
  
Ron blushed and started to nod, but Hermione stopped him before he could move the covers and have Harry and Ginny discover them. Finally, Harry answered Ginny's question. "Well, um, do you want to, you know, do what we came up here to do?" he asked uneasily, not really knowing what to say.  
  
The four people hiding thought that they recognized this voice as Harry's. "I bet he came up to change or something," Ron whispered to Hermione, I bet the other voice we heard was Ginny from outside the door!" Hermione nodded, but she looked doubtful. The other voice they had heard seemed too close to have been from outside the door.  
  
"Want to sit down?" Ginny asked hopefully, moving towards the first place she saw to sit. Harry followed her, and they both sat down on the edge of Ron's bed. Hermione and Ron held their breath, not wanting Harry to know they were there. They didn't realize the other person they had heard talking was there too.  
  
"Okay," Harry said, looking at Ginny thankfully, "let me just say one thing before we go any further. This has been my best date ever so far. I just want to say, thank you, Ginny." At this, Ron sat straight up in his bed, and since Hermione couldn't stop him in time, she did the same.  
  
"GINNY! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM WITH HARRY! ON MY BED!" he demanded angrily. Both Harry and Ginny looked at Ron and Hermione in shock. The two of them had been pretty quiet. Neither one would have guessed that they were there.  
  
"Don't yell at *me*, Ron!" Ginny shouted, looking at him in shock, "You're the one who's actually IN BED with HERMIONE!" Ron looked next to him, having forgotten that Hermione was there for a minute. He blushed bright red, but continued with his lecture.  
  
"THAT IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! IT WAS NOT OUR FAULT!" he exclaimed, glaring at his sister. She glared back, eyes flashing. Harry looked at Ron skeptically. "Not your fault? Not your fault? How did you end up in bed with Hermione then? By accident? Did someone put you there?" Harry said sarcastically, glaring at Ron.  
  
"As a matter of fact they did!" Ron yelled heatedly, "But I have a question for you! What are you playing at, bringing my sister up to your room? What were you going to do if not this?" Hermione bit her lip. She knew what Harry and Ginny were going to think of what Ron just said.  
  
"You just admitted it, Ron!" Ginny said quickly, "You just admitted that you were doing more than just snogging Hermione!" Ron raised an eyebrow. "I DID NOT!" he said furiously, "But you just admitted that you were going to shag Harry!"  
  
Ginny looked at him angrily, at a loss for words. Harry took over for her. "WE WERE NOT!" he shouted, "WE DID NOT! AND DON'T BLAME ME AND GET MAD AT GINNY JUST BECAUSE YOU AND HERMIONE DIDN'T HAVE AS 'GOOD A TIME' AS YOU'D HAVE LIKED!"  
  
Ron didn't even know how to reply to that, and Hermione gasped. She actually looked close to tears. "How could you say that, Harry?" she asked sadly, "You ought to know we wouldn't do that! That was just-mean!"  
  
She frowned, looking down at the comforter of the bed. Under normal circumstances, Harry and Ginny would have felt bad, but they were too riled up now. "Ron, why don't you go comfort your girlfriend," Harry spat scornfully, "I think I have a pretty good idea of how you could do that."  
  
"No," Ginny sneered, looking wrathfully at Ron, "I doubt Ron would be any comfort in that way." Ron had to struggle for breath. Finally, he said, "Well you're lucky we interrupted you! Harry would have been pretty disappointed, considering you have no experience in anything! Coming to think of it, I doubt Harry has either!"  
  
Both Harry and Ginny glared at Ron, not believing his nerve. "How do you know I haven't got any experience?" Ginny asked mysteriously. Of course, Ron was right that she hadn't had any experience, but she knew it would just get Ron more incensed if she said that she had.  
  
She was right. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I DON'T KNOW! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!" Ron challenged, eyes blazing. Before Ginny could respond, Harry broke in. "Ron, let's just say that *you* were the one under the covers with Hermione when we walked in," he said derisively.  
  
Hermione looked at him again, shocked. Harry-and Ginny, for that matter-weren't usually like this. "Maybe you should go," she said steadily, pointing to the door. Ginny shook her head. "We're not leaving," she said coolly, sitting down on Harry's bed.  
  
Ron looked completely furious. "Oh yes you are," he said, "Two of us are leaving, and it certainly isn't going to be Hermione and me." Harry arched an eyebrow. "You had your time in here. It's our turn. Good-bye," he said angrily.  
  
Ron was about to get started yelling again when Hermione put a finger to his lips. He leaned over to her, and she whispered as quietly as she could to him, "Let them stay. We'll go. We'll just see how much they like the surprise they'll find in the closet."  
  
It took him a second to realize what she was talking about, but then he got a glint in his eye. "Alright, fine. Ginny, Harry, we're leaving. Have fun; I'm sure you will," he said, ears as red as his hair. He and Hermione got out of Ron's bed and walked to the door. "Remember, be careful!" Hermione sneered, getting surprised looks from Harry and Ginny.  
  
"We'll see you around," Ginny said civilly, more to Hermione than to Ron, who she was still glaring at. "GOOD-BYE!" Ron and Harry said at the same time. Then Hermione and Ron walked out the door, and Harry slammed it behind them.  
  
Harry and Ginny didn't, of course, realize that Ron and Hermione were just sitting right outside the door talking quietly, because they weren't able to go any further than five feet away from Draco and Pansy. Luckily, the closet was right near the door, so this was possible.  
  
"Thank god that's over with," said Ginny with relief. Harry nodded, sitting down on the edge of his bed with Ginny. "I cannot believe them-Ron especially, he was awful," he said, rolling his eyes.  
  
Ginny shuddered at the thought of what her brother had just done. "I know," she said, shaking her head, "he's only *one year* older than me. Who does he think he is to tell me what to do?"  
  
"Yeah," Harry agreed, smiling at her, "He was way out of line. But if I was your brother, I'd want to protect you too." Ginny grinned. She loved when Harry said sappy stuff like that to her. It was so cute.  
  
Inside the closet where Draco and Pansy were still hiding, Draco pretended to throw up. "That was sickening," he whispered to Pansy. She sniggered (very quietly, of course). "Yeah," she allowed, "there are much better ways of showing that you find someone irresistible."  
  
Draco grinned charmingly, running a hand through his perfect blonde hair. It was never out of place. How it always stayed so flawless was a mystery to everyone, but he hardly ever did anything to mess it up. "Much better ways," he said, winking, "Like this." With that, Draco and Pansy started snogging eagerly.  
  
"But I definitely think we had a right to yell at them," Ginny said plausibly to Harry, "I mean, Ron and Hermione were in Ron's bed together. That's way worse than anything we were planning on doing." Harry laughed. "Let's not tell them that," he said slyly, "Let's let them think we were shagging madly up here. We can tell Ron that, and see how he reacts."  
  
They both started sniggering uncontrollably. The idea of what Ron would do if he really thought that that was what they were doing was too funny. "Anyway," Harry said, "Do you want to, um, you know-?" He trailed off, but he didn't need to say any more. Ginny knew exactly what he meant.  
  
"To do what Seamus and Lavender suggested?" she finished his sentence for him, giggling. Harry nodded, and they both blushed. Then Ginny decided to be daring, and she moved over a little bit so that she was sitting closer to Harry. At the same time, they leaned over and started kissing.  
  
They did this on and off for a few minutes, when Draco and Pansy in the closet realized it was awfully quiet. "I wonder if they're still here," Pansy whispered to Draco, and they broke apart, listening. "I think they are," Draco said, pressing his ear to the door, "I think I can hear them."  
  
"Oh, I bet they're kissing," Pansy said, stating the obvious. She and Draco laughed. They couldn't believe that either Harry or Ginny actually had the nerve to initiate a kiss. "So, do you want to give them the surprise of their life?" Draco asked cunningly. Pansy nodded readily.  
  
"On the count of three, we'll open the closet. Ready?" Draco asked, putting a hand on the doorknob, "One-two-three!" He pushed open the door, and they walked out. Harry and Ginny separated, staring in shock at Draco and Pansy.  
  
"What are you *doing* here?" Ginny asked, gaping at them. Draco sniggered, arching an eyebrow at them. "I think the better question would be, what are *you* doing here?" he drawled, looking from Harry to Ginny, and at the flush creeping on both of their faces.  
  
"This is my dorm, I'm allowed to be here," Harry said testily, "You're not though. I'll ask you again, what the heck are you doing here?" Pansy sneered at them, but Draco grinned broadly. "Didn't you listen to anything Granger and Weasley said?" he asked mockingly, "Oh no, you were too busy giving them that lovely lecture. Which I have to say was too funny."  
  
Neither Harry nor Ginny understood what Draco was trying to say. "So did you have a good time snogging?" Pansy asked, making them turn even redder. Harry didn't respond, but the look on his face gave away how happy he was, in spite of the interruption.  
  
"Obviously *you two* did," Ginny said, eyeing them both, "Malfoy's not-so-perfect hair gives away what you two were doing in the closet. And I'm sure it was just as bad as what Ron and Hermione were doing before we came up here."  
  
Draco rolled his eyes, shocked that Harry and Ginny had actually bought their set- up. "Honestly Potter, Weasley, you two don't know what you're talking about," he drawled, self-satisfied, "Don't you get it? We set Granger and Weasley up like that! They didn't shag! Hell, they didn't even snog!  
  
You have no idea how freaked out they were when they found out what we had done. The only reason they didn't jump out of the bed was because they heard you coming and wanted to hide, because they thought that you'd assume the worst, which, of course, you did. I guess you blew things big time, didn't you?"  
  
Harry and Ginny could only stare at Draco, completely at a loss. They didn't even know how to respond, because for the first time they could remember, Draco Malfoy had been right about something. "I can't believe it. Malfoy was right," Harry said, shocked. "Worse than that," Ginny said, eyes widening, "we were wrong." 


	40. Revenge Will Be Sweet

A/N- More of Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Mione coming up. Along with other stuff. R/R! Also, I bet I fooled all of you with your minds in the gutter about Snape and Sinistra! Also, a lot of you want another game, and that sounds good, but if you have any SUGGESTIONS FOR WHAT GAME, let me know please. Thanks!  
  
A/N- Please don't send me flames. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. And don't yell at me for not updating in a threatening way. If you didn't do this, sorry if I freaked you out. If you did, don't do it again, because it's just plain mean and stupid. NO FLAMES.  
  
**A/N- SORRY it took me so long to update. I've been really busy, and now that school is starting I may only be able to update once a week. I'll try for more, but don't yell at me if I can't, okay?  
  
"I don't know if we should put back those covers. I just have a bad feeling about this," Parvati said, looking very nervous. Sirius shook his head. "Have some sense of adventure, Parvati! Let's take a look! What's the worst that could happen?" he asked, walking closer to the bed.  
  
Parvati gulped. She was pretty sure she knew the worst that could happen, and she didn't want to experience it. But she followed Sirius, Remmie, and Cissa over to the bed. "Ready?" Remmie asked, looking apprehensively at the bed. Cissa and Parvati nodded, and Sirius walked up to the bed, counted to three, and pulled back the covers.  
  
"We caught you!" he yelled, looking down, expecting to see Sevvie and Ally engaged in something they certainly wouldn't want to be interrupted during. "What?! They're not here!" he exclaimed in shock.  
  
"It's Mrs. Norris! What's she doing here?" Parvati asked, taken aback. Mrs. Norris glared at them with her bulging yellow eyes, and hissed. After clawing at them threateningly, with another hiss, she slinked off towards a door at the end of Snape's room that was closed.  
  
"What's she doing?" Cissa asked, walking over to the cat, which was now clawing at the door as if it was a scratching post. The other three followed Cissa over to Mrs. Norris. "Let's see where the door goes!" Sirius said excitedly, getting ready to turn the knob.  
  
"No! What if this time it's really Professor Snape and Professor Sinistra?" Parvati asked, still worried about how badly Snape would punish her if he caught her. Remmie laughed. "Don't worry, we'll protect you," he said, and nodded to Sirius to open the door.  
  
He pushed it open quietly, and the four of them walked quietly out onto what was apparently a deck with a great view of the stars. "Look! It's my star!" Sirius said, looking up at the Dog Star in the sky. Remmie rolled his eyes. "Oh god. Are you still obsessed with that?" he asked, remembering back when they had been at school together.  
  
"Hey, look! People!" Sirius exclaimed, pointing to the far end of the deck, where two silhouettes were standing, holding hands and looking up at the stars. Sirius, Remmie, Cissa, and Parvati stood as still as they could, watching the two figures watch the stars, and then gasped as they turned to each other and kissed.  
  
"Oh no. It's Snape," Parvati whispered, "Let's go back. I'm all for adventure, but I'm *not* all for a month's worth of detention." Cissa and Remmie would have been perfectly willing to do as she asked, but Sirius shook his head vehemently.  
  
"We've investigated long enough. I think we deserve some fun," he said, walking towards them. Remmie and Cissa followed him, and Parvati reluctantly walked by his side. "Okay," Sirius said excitedly, "On the count of three, we'll say BOO."  
  
"No way," Cissa said, "That is so immature. Sirius, you put your hands over Ally's eyes, and I'll do the same to Snape. If we're going to do this, let's do this right." So Remmie and Parvati stood a few feet away and watched as Sirius and Cissa put Cissa's plan into action.  
  
"AHHH! WHO IS THAT?!" Sevvie screamed, wrenching Cissa's hands from his eyes, "CISSA! ARGH! BLACK! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ALLY!" Both Sirius and Cissa jumped back, Sirius sniggering like crazy. "What are you doing here?" Ally asked in shock, staring at Cissa and Sirius, then turning to Parvati and Remmie. Remmie looked at Ally sympathetically.  
  
"We actually came to look for some Veritaserum, but then Sirius heard a noise, so we checked your bed, and it was Mrs. Norris, who showed us to this door, and then we found you. Sorry for the inconvenience," he said sincerely, looking pointedly at Sirius not to contradict him.  
  
Ally sighed. She completely believed the story. Unfortunately, Sevvie did not. "Oh right, Lupin. I'm sure that's what happened," Snape said in the same silky tone that he used when he took fifty points away from Gryffindor, "Lupin, it's more likely that you and Black were off snogging and needed some fresh air."  
  
Sirius and Remmie both glared at him, and Cissa spoke up. "Look Sev, we weren't trying to interrupt anything. Well, maybe Sirius was, but no one else. All I want to do is find some Veritaserum so that I can find Lucius and find out what's going on. Can you please just show us where it is, and then we'll leave you and Ally alone?" she asked hopefully.  
  
"One minute," Snape snapped, and he and Ally walked to the far corner of the deck to talk. Ally looked up at him. She could tell he was obviously upset that they had been interrupted. "It's okay," she said, brushing his hair out of his face, "They didn't mean to."  
  
Sevvie grit his teeth. "I know, but all the same, this is awkward," he said, looking from Ally to the four intruders and back to Ally, "What do you think we should do?" After thinking for a second, Ally whispered in his ear, "I think we should help them."  
  
This was shocking to Snape. Agreeing to help would have been the last thing to cross his mind, but if Ally wanted to, he was going to agree. So they walked back over to the group, where Cissa asked him what he was going to do.  
  
"I'll give you the Veritaserum," he said reluctantly, "It's in the top drawer of my desk. *But* Ally and I are going to go with you, and when you give the Veritaserum to Lucius, if that's what you're planning to do, you'll let me ask a few embarrassing questions of my own."  
  
Sirius looked very excited at the prospect of this, as did Lupin and Parvati. "Fair enough," Cissa said, turning to walk back inside to Snape's room. The other five people followed her.  
  
Snape quickly got the Veritaserum from his desk, and handed it to Cissa, who now had free hands to carry it with since she had asked Lupin to carry the champagne and glasses. "Cissa, do you actually have any idea where Lucius and Cho are?" Remmie asked, realizing that she had never mentioned that to them.  
  
Cissa shook her head, realizing that that was a key flaw in her plan. "I have a few guesses, though," she said, thinking back to when she had been at Hogwarts, "He's most likely in the Astronomy Tower, or the Prefects' Bathroom."  
  
"Well let's check the Prefects' Bathroom first, since it's on the way, and then we can go check the Astronomy Tower," Sirius said logically. Snape gasped in mock-surprise. "Did Sirius Black just say something that actually made sense? What is this world coming to?" he asked sarcastically.  
  
Sirius grinned innocently at Snape, and the group walked out of Snape's office and proceeded down the corridor towards the stairs which would take them to the Prefects' Bathroom. On the way, they passed a number of portraits. Most of them laughed at them, having seen them pass this way before, when Sirius was drunk.  
  
However, a few looked at them with interest, and one picture of a mermaid stared at Cissa as if she recognized her. "What? What is it?" Cissa asked the portrait edgily, stopping for a second to talk. The mermaid laughed, swishing her long golden hair.  
  
"I know you. Well, sort of-isn't it your husband in the Prefects' Bathroom making out with the little Ravenclaw Prefect?" she asked, blinking curiously. Everyone stared at the mermaid in surprise, and she laughed, loving the attention. Cissa glared at her, flipping her own hair in an imitation of her.  
  
"Don't shoot the messenger!" the mermaid giggled, and then disappeared from her portrait, probably to return to the one on the wall of the Prefects' Bathroom. Cissa looked around the group as if daring them to say something. No one did.  
  
"I cannot believe this. I just can't," she said after no one had spoken, "I almost expected it, but still, to actually hear it-let's get going. I need to see this for myself." No one protested, and they followed her warily down the corridor, up the stairs, and around corners until they reached the door to the Prefects' Bathroom.  
  
"Are you going to say the password?" Remmie asked carefully as they all stood in front of the door waiting to go in. Cissa didn't say anything for a second. "I- I don't know the password," she said quietly, shocked that she had overlooked this important detail.  
  
"Parvati, since you're the only one of us who's a student here, do you know the password?" asked Sirius hopefully. Parvati shook her head. She wasn't a Prefect, and although she tried constantly to find out the password from people, she knew that it had changed since the last time that she had been in there.  
  
Cissa looked down at the floor. After a second, she looked up with determination. "We are going to find out this password if it takes us all night," she said, turning to walk back down the hall. Before she could start walking though, Ally stopped her. "That won't be necessary," she said, standing directly in front of the door now, "I know the password."  
  
Cissa breathed a sigh of relief, and Snape looked at her in surprise. "You continue to shock me," he said softly. Ally smiled at him. "Well," she said playfully, "I'm full of surprises." With that, she said the password and they crept inside, staying in the shadows of the very corner of the room near the entrance, where the bright light all around the room did not quite reach.  
  
They looked in silence at Lucius and Cho, who were still sitting in the pool, occasionally snogging. "I just don't believe it. He can't like her better than me. She's just a stuck-up sixteen year with too much confidence," Cissa said to no one in particular.  
  
Sirius looked at them in disgust. "I knew Lucius was low, but I didn't realize that Cho was. I can't believe Harry ever liked her," he said. After thinking a second, he turned to Cissa.  
  
"You know," he said thoughtfully, "I dislike you almost as much as I hate Lucius. But I just don't think he likes her better than you. He's just trying to make you jealous. Don't get mad-get even."  
  
Snape stared at Sirius for the second time, shocked that he was actually making sense. Cissa looked at him contemplatively, and then looked from Lucius and Cho in the bath to the group she was with. "Revenge will be sweet," she said, "I think I'd like to settle the score a little before we use the Veritaserum."  
  
She put the Veritaserum down in the corner, and Lupin did the same with the champagne and glasses. "So what's the plan?" Ally asked inquiringly. Cissa didn't answer her. "Can I ask what the plan is?" Remmie repeated for Ally, just as curious as everyone else as to what the plan was. Cissa shook her head. "No," she said, "but you can be a part of it." 


	41. Strip Poker

A/N- I know some of you want a game, but I still can't think of any. If you have any suggestions, please tell me. Alright, well here it is! R/R! Credits for the Strip Poker idea go to snickerdoodle()! Thank you for curing my horrible writer's block!  
  
A/N- Sorry this chapter is kind of short, like I said, I had writer's block and it stunk. Also, sorry again for the wait, but this is the way it looks like it's going to be for a while. But if I can do more I will. Alright, well R/R!  
  
A/N- Next chapter will be more of Cissa's Revenge! Very suspenseful. Also, if you read When Canon Met Fanon, the next chapter of that will be up soon.  
  
"Harry, what should we do?" Ginny asked as Draco continued to stare very self satisfied at them. Harry shrugged. He and Ginny had really messed things up. They should have listened to what Hermione and Ron had said, instead of jumping to what they now saw was a completely unreasonable conclusion.  
  
Draco looked at them in surprise. "I would have thought that was obvious," he said, shaking his head. Ginny arched an eyebrow. "Well obviously it isn't, Draco, so could you maybe tell us what you would have us do?" she asked grudgingly.  
  
Draco nodded, smirking. It was new for him to be the person that people asked advice of, especially Ginny and Harry. "It's not that hard. I guess Gryffindors are so bigheaded that they wouldn't think of this," Draco said, pausing for a minute.  
  
Harry broke right in. "Slytherins are the ones with the egos that can barely fit through doors!" he countered, defending his house. Draco's lip curled. "I wouldn't count on that, Potter. But if you want to, keep going. I'll just counter everything you say, and then you won't be able to hear my suggestion," he said arrogantly.  
  
Harry sighed. He hated being at Draco's mercy like this. "Go ahead, keep going," he said reluctantly. Draco sneered, and continued. "Well since Hermione and Ron can't go more than five feet away from Pansy and me, chances are that they're sitting right outside the door," he said reasonably, "All you have to do is go tell them that you were wrong, and they were right, and that you're sorry."  
  
If Draco was surprised at his own words, that was nothing compared to what Harry and Ginny were thinking. "Since when are you an expert on other people's problems?" Ginny asked in shock. Draco shrugged. "I have absolutely no idea," he said, sniggering, "But let's go. I don't want to spend any more time in this dorm than I have to."  
  
Harry and Ginny agreed, still slightly shocked, and followed Draco to the door. He opened it, revealing Ron and Hermione sitting right outside, talking quietly. The four who had been in the room stepped out and shut the door behind them. Ron and Hermione continued talking, and ignored the feet surrounding them.  
  
Finally, when they could no longer ignore the fact that Harry, Ginny, Draco, and Pansy were standing around them, Ron and Hermione looked up. "What do you want?" Ron asked guardedly, with an edge in his voice.  
  
Draco looked at him contemptuously. "Potter and the littlest Weasel have something to say," he said, looking pointedly at Harry and Ginny. Ron glared at both of them, but Hermione looked up with interest. She wanted to hear what they had to say before she got mad again.  
  
"We're sorry," Harry said guiltily, looking from Ron to Hermione and trying to read their faces. "Uh huh, really sorry," Ginny added truthfully, "We didn't realize that it was all a set up by Draco and Pansy. We shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."  
  
Ron still looked annoyed, but Hermione seemed satisfied with this apology. "It's okay," she said, "our story wasn't exactly the kind that you automatically believe, even though it was true."  
  
Harry and Ginny looked gratefully at Hermione. They were both very glad that she had forgiven them so quickly. "Ron?" Harry asked tentatively, "What about you? Do you forgive us?"  
  
Ron looked hesitant. He wanted to forgive them. After all, Harry was his best friend, and Ginny was his only sister. But something was still eating away at him. "I forgive you for jumping to conclusions about Mione and me," he said halfheartedly, "But I'd still like to know what you two were doing in the dorm in the first place."  
  
Harry laughed, and Ginny rolled her eyes at her brother, only a year older than her. "Ron, honestly," she said openly, "If you don't trust your own sister and your best friend, then who do you trust? We were only there because Seamus and Lavender bugged us to go."  
  
Ron looked at them, expecting them to continue. "Ron, do you honestly think that I was bringing Ginny up to out dorm to shag?" Harry asked incredulously. Ron shook his head reluctantly. Neither Harry nor Ginny mentioned the snog, and to their surprise, neither did Draco or Pansy.  
  
"Alright, fine, I forgive you," Ron said. Then he added teasingly, "But don't let it happen again, or Harry, I'll tell Sirius on you. And Ginny, if you do it again, I'll tell Mum, Dad, and Percy!" Ginny gasped, but laughed. "You wouldn't!" she said in mock-horror, thinking of what Percy's reaction would be.  
  
Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Ginny laughed. They were all very relieved that the whole thing was over. "Alright, if this sickening reunion is over, let's go back to the dance already!" Pansy whined, thinking of all the slow songs they had missed.  
  
"Not yet," Ginny protested. She knew Seamus and Lavender would pump her and Harry for information if they returned so soon, and Ginny didn't particularly want that just yet. "Let's walk around a little bit first, okay? You know, go to the common room or something for a few minutes?"  
  
The other five people in the little group agreed, and they started walking slowly down towards the common room. "This dance is not turning out at all the way I expected it would," Hermione admitted as they walked. "No, it's not," Ron agreed, "But it's actually not half-bad."  
  
"So what do you want to do?" Fred asked, bored of sitting around in the common room doing nothing. Angelina rolled her eyes. "Fred, that's the fifth time you've asked that," she said exasperatedly, "Would someone please make him shut up?" But Oliver, George, Alicia, and Katie were just as bored as Fred.  
  
"I want to play Truth or Dare again," George said wistfully as he remembered the Quidditch talk that he had given to Oliver and Katie. Everyone else in their group agreed with him. That had been one of the most fun things they had ever done.  
  
"Well, we're not playing Truth or Dare again," Katie said sensibly, "No one else is going to want to play again, and what fun is it with just six people?" The boys agreed that she had a point.  
  
"Well let's at least do *something*," Fred whined, trying unsuccessfully to think of a game. "How about I Never?" Alicia suggested. Fred shook his head. He had played that game too many times recently, and he didn't really want to play it again right now.  
  
"How about poker- no wait- how about Strip poker?!" Oliver suggested excitedly. Immediately, Fred perked up. "That's a great idea!" he said happily, "but let's get some more people to play." George rolled his eyes at his twin. He tended to go a little bit overboard.  
  
"Come on, just a couple more people," Fred whined. Angelina was the first to give in, and after that, everyone else agreed that there wasn't a big problem with just a few more people.  
  
Less than a minute after their decision to go convince a few more people to play Strip Poker, Harry, Ron, Draco, Ginny, Hermione, and Pansy walked in. "Hey, what are you guys doing?" Ginny asked curiously. Angelina laughed. "We're about to play a game," she said.  
  
"What game?" Harry asked curiously, thinking back to the Truth or Dare experience, "Are you playing Truth or Dare again?" Oliver shook his head. "No, there's no point in playing Truth or Dare more than once in a night," he said matter-of-factly, "But we are playing Strip Poker! Want to play?"  
  
Fred shook his head. When he had said they should get more people, he hadn't meant his younger brother and sister, their friends, and two of whom in his opinion were the biggest prats in the school. "You don't have to play if you don't want to," he said hopefully.  
  
"We'd love to play," Draco said, sitting down. Hermione had no choice but to follow him, and one by one, the remaining four sat down too. "Great," Oliver said lightly, "Now we have more people, Fred! Now we can play!"  
  
Oliver immediately grabbed two packs of cards off the mantle above the fireplace, and opened the packages. Fred rolled his eyes. He knew Oliver knew that this wasn't what he had had in mind, but oh well. It wasn't that big a deal. At least it wasn't Crabbe or Goyle.  
  
"Oh! Can I shuffle?" George asked, grabbing a pack of cards from Oliver. He attempted to shuffle the cards, but instead managed to send them all over the floor. He quickly picked them up and put them back into a pile.  
  
"George, that was pathetic," Oliver laughed, "Let me show you how to do it." Oliver took the pack of cards that he still had, and shuffled them perfectly. George looked at him, pretending to be jealous. "Oh Oliver! How can you do that! It's just so amazing!" he said sarcastically.  
  
Oliver rolled his eyes. "Give me the cards, George," he said, and grabbing the pack from George, he shuffled those just as flawlessly. Then he mixed up both packs and started dealing them out very slowly to all twelve people.  
  
"Oliver, you are the slowest dealer I've ever seen," Katie said, taking the stack of cards out of his hands. Oliver faked being very upset. "Well let's see you do better!" he challenged. Katie winked at him, and dealt out the cards faster than a trained blackjack dealer.  
  
As soon as she was done, she put the remaining cards in the center of their circle, and brushed imaginary dust off her hands. "How was that?" she asked Oliver. He looked at her in awe. His girlfriend apparently had many hidden talents.  
  
"Alright, um, how do you play Strip Poker?" Hermione asked apprehensively, "I mean, I think I know and everything, but can you just explain it for me?" She blushed, and Draco laughed at her. He quickly shut up though, when both Ron and Harry glared at him.  
  
"Sure, no problem Mione," Fred said, recovering quickly from his annoyance, "We play it a little bit differently, anyway. Obviously, it starts out like regular poker. Then whoever has the worst hand has a choice. They can either take off an item of clothing, or they can choose to have the winner of that round can ask them an invasive personal question. It goes on until everyone decides to stop, or until someone loses."  
  
Hermione raised her eyebrows, looking nervous. She was sure that this was going to be as bad, or worse, than I Never had been. "Okay," she said tentatively, "Let's go." Draco smirked, Ron blushed, and Fred and George looked happy as usual. "This is going to be interesting," Oliver said as they started the first round. He was sure to be right. 


	42. Lovin' With Lupin

A/N- Sorry I forgot to answer your question before, Bronfelen. Yeah, most of the time I am a Remus/Sirius shipper, lolz, but I don't know that's what it'll be story. What do you (and anyone else who read this) think? Should I end them up together? Or with other people? Lemme know! R/R!  
  
A/N- Again, sorry for the wait. School is not fun. Well, not the work, which is taking up all my time and making me have to take so long to update. Anyway, R/R! If you also read When Canon Met Fanon, that chapter should be up soon. (Déjà vu, right?) lol.  
  
"What do you mean, I can be a part of it?" Remmie asked, looking with confusion at Cissa, who had a glint in her eye. Sirius, Parvati, Sevvie, and Ally all turned curiously to Cissa, to see what she would say. "You'll see what I mean," she said evasively, "Let me give everyone else their parts first."  
  
Remmie's eyes darted from person to person as she whispered different things in their ears. Sevvie's job was to stand next to the champagne and wait for the signal from Cissa. Cissa told Ally that when she gave the signal, she would add the Veritaserum to the champagne.  
  
"What can I do?" Parvati asked, figuring that if she had risked detention for Cissa, she should at least get to take part. Cissa thought for a second. "You can guard the door to make sure that Cho and Lucius don't leave, and that no one comes in," she said contemplatively.  
  
"What about me?" Sirius whined. Cissa shook her head. Sirius was supposed to be completely sober right now, but he was still as annoying as if he was drunk. He was more annoying, in fact, because now he didn't have an excuse. "You, Sirius, can do just about whatever you want. Just do what you see fit to do," Cissa said cautiously.  
  
Sirius grinned. Doing whatever he wanted was the perfect job for him. "Care to tell me what I'll be doing now?" Remmie asked after Cissa had finished assigning everyone else a job. Everyone looked inquiringly at her, waiting to see what she would answer.  
  
"No," she said lightly, "you can just go along with whatever I do." Remmie looked at her warily. Leaving himself open to Cissa's every command wasn't exactly something he would typically do. But he did want to get back at Lucius for the Truth or Dare incident. And he thought it was only fair to help her, since it was partially his fault that she was in the situation.  
  
"Fine, I'll do it," he said guardedly, still not sure what he was getting himself into. Cissa nodded, looking relieved. "Okay, does everyone know what they're doing?" she asked, sounding very official and organized. Sevvie, Ally, Parvati, and Sirius nodded. "Good," Cissa said seriously, "Everybody go to it. Lupin, you come with me."  
  
Sevvie and Ally went to stand next to the champagne and Veritaserum until they were called for. Parvati walked over to the door to guard it. Sirius sat down on the floor to watch the action until he decided to participate. And Cissa grabbed Remmie's arm and pulled him over towards the bath were Cho and Lucius were sitting on bubbles.  
  
"What are we doing?" Remmie whispered as they neared the side of the bath. Cissa shook her head. Obviously, she wasn't going to tell him, and he was going to have to improvise. When they were only about 4 feet away from where Lucius and Cho were sitting, the two of them really didn't have much choice but to look up at them.  
  
Lucius just sat there, but Cho stared defiantly at Cissa. "Can we help you? We were sort of in the middle of something," she said, trying to sound superior and not really succeeding. Cissa sneered at her and Lucius. "I was just wondering, would you mind if we shared the bath with you? Since there's only the one and everything?" she asked smoothly.  
  
Cho glared at her and Remmie, but Lucius agreed. "What do you want to use the bath for anyway? There's not much to do," he said, trying to convince them to change their minds. Remmie had no idea what to say, but Cissa was ready with an answer.  
  
"We have just as much right to it as you do. It's none of your business what we want to do in it," she retorted. Lucius looked at her, taken aback. Cho was still glaring. But Cissa took no notice, and practically strutted into a dressing room. Remmie followed into the one next to hers.  
  
When they both emerged, she was wearing a very tight skimpy black bikini, and he was wearing swim trunks similar to Lucius'. "Would you care to tell me what we're doing now?" Remmie hissed as they headed towards the bath again. Cissa shook her head, still keeping silent about it.  
  
"You don't mind if we sit on these bubbles here next to you, do you?" she asked Cho and Lucius innocently. "Um-go ahead," Lucius said. He still hadn't gotten past the bikini she was wearing, and barely listened to what she was saying. "Thank you," she said sweetly, and lowered herself slowly into the pool onto a bubble that was practically right next to Lucius and Cho's bubbles.  
  
Remmie followed her, still a little confused as to what they were doing. He sat down on the bubble next to hers, and looked around the bath. It was very nice, at least in his opinion. When he had been a prefect at Hogwarts, he had only used it a few times, but he would never forget them.  
  
"Cissa what should I do now?" Remmie asked as quietly as he could. Luckily Lucius and Cho didn't hear anything. "Put your arm around me," she said, and then looked away as if she had never said a thing.  
  
Rolling his eyes at the way she gave him no choice in the matter, he smiled as much as he could and put his arm around her. She flashed a smile at Lucius and Cho, who tried not to acknowledge what had just happened. Then she leaned her head on Remmie's shoulder, and he looked as happy as he could.  
  
He caught Sirius' eye over in the corner, who mouthed "Ham it up like our kiss!" Catching himself before he could laugh, Remmie started playing with Cissa's silky blonde hair. She looked up at him as if she loved it.  
  
Lucius noticed, and started playing with Cho's hair the same way Remmie was doing. Cho winked at Cissa spitefully. "It doesn't look like this is working very well," Remmie whispered to Cissa.  
  
She shook his head like she didn't know what in the world he was talking about. "That feels so good," she said loudly, half-closing her eyes. Lucius grit his teeth, looking annoyed.  
  
"It's working," she murmured to Remmie, "Go in for the kill!" He looked at her, a little confused. He couldn't imagine what she meant by the kill. Well, he could, but he didn't really think that that was what she had actually meant.  
  
"Come on Lupin, you know what I mean!" she whispered, "Just do what you did to Sirius on the Dare! Please?" She looked so sincere when she said the last 'please' that Lupin, being such a nice person, decided he probably ought to appease her.  
  
As if it was second nature to him, he leaned closer to her and they kissed. Noticing Lucius looking on in shock, Cissa kissed back so forcefully that Remmie almost fell off the bubble he was sitting on. They continued on and on to the point where it almost seemed like they would never stop.  
  
Lucius just couldn't stop staring, much to Cho's displeasure. "Who cares about them?" she said loudly, resting her head on his shoulder. Cissa was still kissing Remmie, who was looking really taken aback. Finally, Sirius decided to make use of his privilege of being allowed to do whatever he wanted.  
  
He walked over, laughing to himself at the ridiculousness of the situation. Leaning down by the side of the pool (A/N- Yes, he was still five feet away from Parvati), he tapped Remmie and Cissa on the head.  
  
"What did you go and interrupt us for?" Cissa asked breathlessly, while trying not to laugh. Sirius grinned naughtily. "Sorry Cissa, but I thought you guys could use a little air. I was afraid one of you was going to pass out or something! Besides, I was worried that you were going to start attempting some underwater stunts not appropriate for Hogwarts students to view!" he sniggered.  
  
Cissa rolled her eyes, and Cho glared at him, taking it as an offense to her maturity. But Remmie couldn't help himself, and he started cracking up, and then grabbed Sirius and pulled him into the pool.  
  
"What was that for?" Sirius asked as he emerged from the water spluttering, "And I was still in my nice clothes! Now they're soaked!" Remmie was still laughing too hard to answer. Cho rolled her eyes. "They are all so immature, don't you think Lucius?" she said haughtily.  
  
Lucius nodded, but his eyes were fixed on Cissa. Just then, in the middle of the commotion, they all heard Parvati starting to raise her voice. "What do you mean you want to come into the Prefects' Bathroom?" she asked irritably, "You're not even a Prefect! You're in fourth year!"  
  
The voice on the other side of the door sounded very upset. "Come on, please open the door!" he whined, "Someone was supposed to tell me the password from inside! That's what Lavender Brown told me down in the Great Hall when I asked her where Harry was!"  
  
Parvati kicked the door, annoyed. "You can't come in! Go back to the Great Hall!" she said in frustration, "Harry Potter isn't in here anyway!" The person on the other side of the door continued arguing with her, making it clear that he wasn't going to leave. Whoever it was also threatened to tell Professor Snape on them, which made Sevvie start laughing.  
  
Finally, Parvati decided she had no choice. "Sorry everyone, I can't do anything else! I have to let him in!" she said apologetically. Then she opened the door, and the whiney, annoying, persistent person walked in.  
  
"What's going on?" Colin Creevey asked in wonder, looking around. Parvati was holding her foot in her hand because she had hurt it kicking the door. Sevvie and Ally were leaning against the wall by the champagne, arms around each other.  
  
Cho was glaring at Cissa, and Lucius was staring at her while glaring at Remmie. Remmie and Sirius were in the middle of trying to get Sirius onto a bubble from the water without one of his shoes falling off and sinking to the bottom of the pool.  
  
"What the heck are you doing here?" Sirius asked Colin incredulously. Colin grinned eagerly. "Someone told me Harry was in here signing autographs!" he said with excitement.  
  
"Wow, you have still got some serious issues," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. Colin shook his head as if Sirius had no idea what he was talking about. "Look, obsessive kid, we're kind of in the middle of something here," Cissa said exasperatedly, "You can stay if you really, really feel the need to, but you're going to have to sit down in the corner and be quiet."  
  
Everyone thought that that would discourage Colin. It would have made most other people go away. But Colin was definitely not most other people. "Okay, cool!" Colin said, and he walked right over to the corner and sat down in it, ready to watch the action. After that, everyone basically forgot that he was even in the room.  
  
"Remmie, pull harder, you're going to drown me!" Sirius whined. Remmie accommodated him. "Remus, forget him, you're supposed to be snogging me!" Cissa practically shouted. Everyone went quiet for a second.  
  
It was almost as if one of them had cast a charm on everyone in the room that froze them and silenced them. But it was really just the shock of what she had said and how loud it had been. A few seconds later, the silence was broken, and everyone started yelling at each other.  
  
"What are you doing? You just gave away our whole plan!" Remmie said, somewhat in shock that he had probably gone through all that for nothing. Cissa glared at him, and at everyone in general. "It's not my fault! It's your fault for getting paired with me!" she yelled, "and it's Lucius' fault for being so jealous!"  
  
Lucius really flared up at this. "I was not jealous! I don't get jealous!" he said, running a hand through his hair. Cho continued to look daggers at Cissa. "What possible reason would Lucius have to be upset? He was paired with me, and that's twice as good as being paired with you!" she shouted to be heard above everyone else.  
  
"What are you talking about? He's my husband! He likes me a million times better than he likes you!" Cissa retorted. "Why are you guys so obsessed!? We're talking about a man who wears a black bow in his hair! Who gives?" Sirius asked reasonably, starting to laugh.  
  
Lucius gave him the signature Malfoy evil glare. "I give!" Cho and Cissa said at the same time. "He likes me better!" they said in unison again. "Just get over yourself you stuck-up jerk! It's obvious Lucius likes me better than you!" Cho shouted angrily, "You don't stand a chance any more! Give it up! Come on Lucius, let's go up to my dorm!"  
  
The noise of everyone arguing was so loud that it was hard to hear what Lucius responded. "What did you say?" Cissa asked, putting a hand over both Sirius' and Remmie's mouths to stop them from talking. "I said, no, I won't. I think Cissa and I need to talk," Lucius repeated quietly.  
  
"WHAT?!" Cho yelled, eyes flashing, "What do you mean, no you won't!? If you like her better than me, why don't you just say so!?" Cissa looked at Lucius intently, and Cho stared at him, daring him to do it.  
  
"I like her better than you," he said, making both Cissa's and Cho's mouths drop open. "D@mnit!" she said, looking very upset, "&^%$ you Lucius Malfoy!" With that, she climbed out of the pool and strode quickly over to the door. "You can't go more than five feet away from your partner, so you're kind of stuck here!" Sirius yelled, sniggering.  
  
Cho whipped around, looking fiercely at him. "The dance has got to be more than halfway over! I'm sure Professor Dumbledore has taken the spell off by now!" she said, and continued walking.  
  
She had only gotten six feet away from Lucius when silver sparks erupted and she was jolted back to the side of the pool next to Lucius. "D@mn! The Headmaster hasn't taken the spell off yet! Stupid sock-loving old fool!" Cho yelled to no one in particular.  
  
Recovering herself as quickly as she could, she walked hurriedly over to where Colin was sitting. "Did you see what happened?" she asked, sitting down next to him. Colin nodded, looking confused. "Don't you think Lucius is a b@$t@rd?" she asked again forcefully. Colin nodded again, not that he would do anything else.  
  
"Good," Cho said, and with one last glare at Lucius, she turned away from him and began to snog Colin. Colin snogged her back. He didn't quite understand what had happened, but this had to be the next best thing to obsessing over Harry. He just could not believe his good luck. 


	43. No Longer Perfect Percy

A/N- Hey everyone! Sorry again and again for the wait. I feel so bad and I am sooo sorry. Please forgive me! *blinks* Don't hate me, hate the teachers who give me the piles of homework. A/N- Anyway, here's the next chappie. I finally had time, and I am so happy. I hope you won't hate me for taking so long, I know it was not cool. I've learned my lesson, and I'll TRY not to do it again. A/N- I can't promise that I can do a once a week update. I'd like to, but I know that it's just not realistic. So you can expect them sporadically, like once every 2 weeks or if I'm lucky more than one in a week if I have time. I'll cross my fingers that I have time. A/N- THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER! You'll know when it's over, because I'll say 'The End'. So keep reading! R/R!  
  
"I'll take two," Draco said, trading in two of his own cards for two that Katie handed him. Everyone went around in a circle, doing the same thing. Once everyone had gone, before anyone could say anything else, Fred broke in.  
  
"I forgot to tell you guys this before. You don't bet money or whatever. Everyone stays in, no matter how bad the hand is. When Oliver says to, you show your cards. And like I said, the lowest hand either takes off an item of clothing, or answers an invasive personal question. And jewelry and hair stuff doesn't count," Fred said, proud that he knew what he was talking about.  
  
George and Oliver rolled their eyes, but Hermione looked like she appreciated the information. "So what now?" she asked. "I believe Fred said that I get to tell everyone to show their cards now that we've gone around in the circle," Oliver said happily, "so, everyone show your cards!"  
  
Everyone flipped down their cards, some looking more confident than others. Hermione, of course, was completely freaked out. She had only played poker once before, and didn't have a very clear idea of what was going on. Katie, on the other hand, looked like a complete pro, and was able to keep a poker face, which Fred found hilarious.  
  
"Ha! Hermione, you lost!" Draco said, looking from her cards to everyone else's. Hermione frowned. "Why?" she asked, a little confused. Oliver rolled his eyes. "Because you have the worst hand, Mione, that's why. Do you want to take something off, or get a question?"  
  
Hermione hesitated. The last thing she wanted to do was take off an item of clothing, but she even preferred that to being asked a question which she was sure she wouldn't want to answer. "I'll take off my shoes," she relented, and she put them neatly to one side of her.  
  
"Good, because I changed my mind. No invasive personal questions count. You have to take something off if you lose," Fred said decisively. Everyone rolled their eyes. They were all sure why Fred had suddenly had a change of heart. If Angelina was playing, he wouldn't want to get cheated out of seeing her in next to nothing.  
  
The next hand, Fred had the lowest. "I'll lose the shoes," he rhymed, then started sniggering, because what he had said was so stupid it was funny (at least to him). Judging from the looks of wonder he got from the others, they didn't quite agree.  
  
After they had gone through some more rounds, everyone had lost sneakers and socks except Ron, who hadn't lost anything. Surprisingly, he was turning out to be a pretty good poker player.  
  
Draco, on the other hand, was the only one who had gone so far as to lose a shirt. It was eye candy for Pansy, but the others weren't impressed. "Is the game over yet?" Hermione asked, not quite sure what she would do if she lost another round.  
  
"You wish!" Fred said, "Like I said, it ain't over till somebody loses!" Hermione looked worriedly around the circle. There was nothing else for anyone (except Ron) to take off that was not going to be embarrassing. "Come on, Fred, maybe we should just end the game now," Ron said, shooting Hermione a sympathetic look.  
  
"Ron, come on," Fred sniggered, "like it isn't completely obvious that you're trying to save Hermione any more embarrassment?" Ron and Hermione both blushed, and Fred laughed. "Fred, you know they would make such a cute couple," Angelina admitted, touching Fred's shoulder.  
  
Fred rolled his eyes. He didn't even want to think about his little brother being part of a 'cute couple'. Cute couples were people like him and Angelina. They were *not* people like Ron and Hermione. "Let's just keep on going," Oliver said as Katie dealt everyone another hand. With grumbling from a few, everyone agreed.  
  
This time it was Ginny who lost. "Oh God," Fred said, looking at his younger sister nervously. She had already lost her shoes and socks. Whatever she took off next was not going to be good. "Oh God," Ginny repeated, looking around the circle and turning redder than all the Weasley hair in the room combined.  
  
She looked especially nervous when she noticed that Harry was blushing too. "Please can I just pass, just this once?" she begged. Fred, George, and Ron looked ready to agree. All the other girls in the room felt bad for her too. She probably would have gotten let off the hook just for being so much younger and being the sister of three other guys in the room. But of course, things didn't work out that way.  
  
"You wish. You are not letting her off just because she's your sister. You didn't make exceptions for anyone else. You're not making one for her. It just wouldn't be fair," Draco drawled decisively. Ginny looked pleadingly at everyone else, hoping beyond hope that they would appease. No such luck.  
  
"Sorry Ginny. I hate to admit it, but Malfoy is right. I mean you have no idea how much I hate to admit it," George said, looking daggers at Malfoy, "But it's true, sadly. You have to take something off, Gin. It's only fair."  
  
"Okay," Ginny said, trying to be brave, "It's only fair." Even her ears turned crimson as she went to take off her top. But just as she was about to do it, the door to the common room from the dorms opened, and Percy and Penny walked in.  
  
Everyone froze right in the middle of what they were doing. Ginny stopped abruptly and turned even redder, if that was possible. "What in the world is going on here?!" Percy asked incredulously, looking at everyone who was less than fully dressed.  
  
"I can definitely explain," Fred began, looking guiltily at Percy. "Then do so," Percy said, appalled that just when he had been starting to relax and enjoy the dance, he had to get snapped back to reality so abruptly.  
  
"We definitely weren't playing strip poker," Ron put in, smiling in what he hoped was an innocent way at his serious older brother. "Oh, that was smooth, Weasley," Draco sneered.  
  
Percy cocked an eyebrow. "If you weren't playing strip poker, then why are there shoes and socks all over the floor, two decks of cards in Katie's hands, no shirt on Draco, and why in the world was Ginny about to take off her shirt when I walked in?"  
  
"Well you see," Fred improvised, trying not to start sniggering, "We were having a contest to see who had the smelliest feet. And then Ginny found an-umm-she found a knarl quill in her shirt and she was trying to get it out. And the cards? We were-um-playing Exploding Snap. But with regular cards, as practice. And Draco-his shirt was itchy."  
  
Percy shook his head, in disbelief that that was the best excuse all of them combined could come up with. "Hmm. And who thought of the idea of playing Exploding Snap with regular cards?" he asked curiously.  
  
Everyone pointed at everyone else, completely blowing their cover (as if it wasn't already blown). "That's what I thought," Percy said, "I really ought to give you all detentions."  
  
Penny rolled her eyes. "Percy, it doesn't matter. It was just an innocent game. We've all done it once in our lives. How about you just ask them nicely to stop, and then we all go down to the dance and enjoy ourselves like we should?" she asked sensibly, looking from Percy to the offenders and back.  
  
Percy bit his lip. He hadn't really given out any detentions all night, and he did love giving detentions. But he loved Penny more even than giving detentions. "All right," he relented, "Fred, George, Ron, all of you. The game is over, and you aren't going to play it again. So would you please just leave the common room and go down to the dance and enjoy yourselves in a safe and appropriate way?"  
  
After rolling their eyes at Percy's typical uptight Prefect-ness, the whole group breathed a collective sigh of relief. They had been so sure that this time Percy would be going detention-crazy. But they got lucky. "All right, fine, we'll go down to the dance," Oliver said, giving in. It was the least they could do after Percy had spared them all detentions.  
  
"Good," Penny said happily, "Percy and I will be down there waiting for you, if you could just clean up the cards and everything before you go." Everyone agreed to that, and Percy and Penny started to head out the portrait hole.  
  
"Wait!" Fred said, and Percy turned around to listen, "I have a question." "What?" Percy asked curiously. He was quite sure that he didn't want to know, but he asked in spite of himself.  
  
"Well, George, Alicia, Angelina, and everybody including me went pretty much straight to the common room after we gave you your lecture. And if you and Penny had been down to the dance already we would have seen you pass. So there was quite a bit of time where the two of you were unaccounted for. So Perce, care to tell me what you were doing during that time?" Fred asked, sniggering.  
  
Percy gaped at Fred. His brother acted stupid, but he was pretty smart sometimes. "That, Fred, is absolutely none of your business," Percy said, trying to save some dignity as he began to blush the trademark Weasley red. And with that he and Penny left the common room to go down to the dance.  
  
Penny looked over at him as they walked, and couldn't help noticing that he was blushing. "Oh Percy, snogging is nothing to be ashamed of," she laughed, looping her arm through his. Percy continued to blush, now even more embarrassed because of how open she was about it.  
  
"Is that what you call it? I thought it had a different name," Percy commented, remembering all of Oliver's talks, and now wishing that he had listened more closely when Oliver was harassing him.  
  
Penny grinned. "Well, so it wasn't quite snogging. Well I mean it was. But if I was to say that we shagged madly, would you prefer that?" she asked, knowing exactly how to push Percy's buttons.  
  
Percy looked slightly appalled, but couldn't help cracking a smile. "Well-just don't tell anyone," he requested, "if people knew how lucky I was, I might start losing my reputation as Lord of Detention Giving."  
  
"God forbid," Penny almost sniggered, "Perfect Prefect Percy is no longer perfect. But you'll always be perfect to me, Perce. Always." With that, she pulled him against the wall into a snog that even Sirius would have envied.  
  
As soon as they broke apart, Percy grinned. He couldn't believe how great the evening was ending up. "Wait," he said, a little confused, "Who still calls me Perfect Prefect Percy anyway?" 


	44. Shoes & Little Black Bows

A/N- Hey, sorry again about the super long wait from before, and sorry about this semi-long one too! But this is pretty good time considering all the stuff I have to do. Anyway, I'm glad to have at least *some* time to be doing this. Here's the next chapter-R/R!  
  
Meanwhile in the Prefect's Bathroom, Cho and Colin continued to snog. Colin was a little shocked still, but he was getting into it, still thinking that it was almost as good as obsessing over Harry. They weren't the only ones in the school's highly reputed snog spot getting romantic, either.  
  
Sevvie and Ally were cuddling in the corner with the bottle of champagne, much to the dismay of Parvati. Although it seemed like a good thing that Professor Snape was finding some love at last, it was not something Parvati really wanted to witness.  
  
"This is so romantic," Ally smiled, looking up at Sevvie. Sevvie nodded, putting his arm around her. "But I have to admit," he commented, "that it would be a lot more romantic if there weren't students in the room, and if my supposed best friend wasn't in the middle of trying to work things out with his wife, and most of all if Black and Lupin weren't still trying to rescue Black from the bath without his precious shoes falling off."  
  
Ally shrugged. She honestly didn't care who else was in the room. It was a dance, it was romantic, and she didn't care who heard her. "I love you, Sev," she said quietly. "I love you too," he responded, quietly again.  
  
But he wasn't quiet enough for Parvati, who was standing fairly close, not to hear. "Professor, please! Could you two move this love-fest to another location? It's really not something I need to see, honestly," she said, shaking her head.  
  
She had never expected to have to say something even remotely like that to Professor Snape. He was the greasy, haughty, bitter professor who taught everyone's least favorite subject. He was not supposed to be the one who found his perfect girlfriend before Parvati had even found her perfect boyfriend.  
  
Of course, she thought Sirius was great, but unlike Cho, she understood that it would be ridiculous for her to even think of seriously dating someone that much older than her, even if he was funny, hot, and acted as if he was her age.  
  
"Are you *asking* for a detention?" Snape asked, bringing his famous sneer back for the first time in a while that night. Parvati shook her head. Even she, one of the most outspoken and confident students in her year, wasn't ready to go head to head with Severus Snape.  
  
"It doesn't matter, Sev. There are a lot of other people here anyway. Why don't we go back to your roo- office?" Ally asked, nicely trying to save Parvati from punishment on a night where it was her opinion that no one deserved it.  
  
Not enjoying giving in to his students no matter what the occasion, Professor Snape hesitated before answering. But in the end, Ally won out over his students any day. "Fine. We'll go back to my office. I hope you are satisfied, Miss Patil," he said scornfully as he and Ally got up to leave.  
  
"I am," Parvati assured him, assuming that she was home free now that they were leaving, "Very satisfied." She winked at the two of them. Sevvie's eyebrows looked like they were going to shoot off his head. "Talking back to a teacher would most definitely be considered grounds for a detention, Miss Patil," he informed her coolly.  
  
Parvati frowned, hoping that if she looked very sorry they would let her off. "Oh, just let it go," Ally insisted, "I'm sure just having to stay here will be punishment enough." Looking around, Parvati didn't quite agree that it was going to be that much punishment, but it was certainly going to be interesting.  
  
With one last cool look from Snape, and a wink from Ally, the two of them left the Prefect's Bathroom and headed down towards the dungeons. Parvati was able to breathe a sigh of relief after they were gone. Witnessing two of her professors snogging was not an experience she was too anxious to have again.  
  
Since that scene was over, Parvati turned her attention to the bath, where a scene just as interesting but more fun to watch was going on.  
  
"Ah! No Remmie no! Not my shoe! Don't let it fall off!" Sirius yelled, trying to catch his shoe and not drench his head at the same time. It was easier said than done. "I'm trying, Sirius! Doesn't it look like I'm trying?" Lupin asked, grinning. He was lucky. He didn't have to worry about getting wet, since he had changed into a bathing suit before going in.  
  
But since he had been the one to pull Sirius in with all his clothes on, Sirius designated him responsible for getting him out without getting his hair soaked or having his shoes fall off. "Come on Sirius, you could help a little!" Remmie said, laughing at how ridiculous Sirius looked.  
  
"My god, Lupin. Stop flirting and get Black out of the water. There's no need to make such a big deal out of an excuse to hold his hand," Lucius drawled, back to his usual arrogant self after reuniting with Cissa.  
  
"Better than flirting with Sevvie!" Sirius shot back, finally able to get himself out of the water, with a lot of help from Lupin. "NO! MY SHOE!" he continued, looking down in dismay as one of the shoes he had worked so hard not to lose fell down to the bottom of the pool.  
  
"Well, go down and get it," Remmie suggested, sniggering at how distraught Sirius looked. Lucius sneered at the two of them. "I find it so ironic that you're the one who's always telling me about how much I like Sevvie, and yet it's you who's flipping out over the loss of your shoe," he said scornfully.  
  
"Look who wears little black bows in their hair, blondie," Sirius retorted, flipping his hair in an imitation of Lucius. Lucius' mouth dropped open. "Those bows are a fashion statement, okay?! I thought I already told you that!" he yelled, very insulted, "And incidentally, I'm not the one who snogged Lupin tonight."  
  
Lupin gaped at him, but Sirius took it in stride this time. He had finally come to the conclusion that getting mad at Lucius wouldn't beat him. The only way to deal with him was to get even. "That was your idea in the first place, Malfoy," he pointed out, much to the dismay of Lucius.  
  
"And incidentally, Lucius, it was an excellent dare," Lupin added in, winking at Sirius. If there was one way better than getting even to make Lucius Malfoy angry, it was making it seem like he had no affect on you.  
  
"Are we through questioning about each other's sexuality?" Cissa asked, sneering at Sirius and Remmie. It was obvious that she was directing the comment to them, and not her husband who had started it in the first place.  
  
"Yes. Now we're returning to the issue at hand. I want my shoe, Remmie, and I want it now. I refuse to have it ruined in that water," Sirius said in mock-seriousness. Lucius had to bite his lip to resist making a comment. Remmie shook his head. "Then go in and get it," he repeated, trying not to laugh at how bad an impression of being earnest Sirius was doing.  
  
"Remmie, won't you *please* go get it for me? After all, you're wearing a bathing suit," Sirius begged, taking Remmie's arm and leading him over to the bath. Again, Remmie sighed and shook his head. He couldn't believe how someone as smart as Sirius really was could be so incredibly clueless sometimes.  
  
"Sirius, the fact that you didn't think of this is just embarrassing," he said, still trying to hold back a snigger, "Accio shoe!" As soon as the shoe started flying out of the water, Sirius started cracking up. Even he couldn't believe his stupidity. It flew up to the ceiling, and then plummeted down.  
  
But instead of hitting the floor like it should have, it landed on Lucius' head, and then hit the ground. "Thanks for breaking its fall," Sirius grinned, sniggering at the look on Lucius' face while he put his shoe back on. Lucius was giving him a signature Malfoy glare in all its evilness.  
  
"You better watch your aim, Lupin," he drawled angrily, "Don't ever even *think* about bringing one of Black's shoes near my head again." Sirius laughed, and Remmie returned with, "Why? Afraid it would mess up your hair?"  
  
Although Sirius and Remmie were really enjoying going back and forth insulting Lucius, Cissa was starting to get really bored of it. "Honestly, this is pathetic. You're not Hogwarts students anymore, boys. Not even you, honey," she said sincerely, shaking her head.  
  
Sirius put on a face of mock-outrage. "Just because you want to be old doesn't mean we all have to! And it's people like you who make it so boring to get older. Just because I don't go to Hogwarts anymore doesn't mean that I can't have fun!" he said, shaking his head in an imitation of her.  
  
Finally, Cissa decided that the only way to stop the ridiculousness was to just leave the room. "That's it, everyone. Lucius and I are leaving," she said, grabbing Lucius' arm and leading him over to the door.  
  
Remmie shook a finger at them. "You wish," he said, rolling his eyes at their stupidity, "But you and Lucius, Cissa, can't be more than 5 feet away from me and Cho, remember?" Sirius had to laugh at the look on both of their faces when they remembered that rule. Obviously, that wasn't what they were planning on to have happen.  
  
Cissa shook her head though. That just didn't make sense to her. The dance was definitely more than halfway over; there was no question about it! Why wasn't the spell to hold you no more than five feet away from your partner off by now? It made no sense. Why wouldn't Dumbledore have taken it off?  
  
After sharing her question with Lucius, Remmie, Sirius, and Parvati (who had just walked over), they were all just as puzzled. "Well, I say we go investigate!" Sirius suggested, grinning broadly.  
  
"No. Not this time, Sirius," Cissa said firmly, "Last time we tried to investigate something, Snape and Ally were ready to wring our necks. No, as much as I want the spell off, we're just going to have to accept it, for whatever reason."  
  
Lucius arched an eyebrow. That was the last thing he wanted, to be stuck with some of the people he hated most. But he wasn't about to argue with his wife after he had just fixed their last issue. So he had no choice but to agree.  
  
"Fine then," he consented, "In that case, we have to find some place in this school where we all, including Cho over there in the corner, agree on to stay." Cho looked up upon hearing her name, and she and Colin walked over. "What was that about me?" she asked coolly, barely looking at Lucius (or Cissa).  
  
"We have to find some place in the school where we all don't mind going," Sirius said when it became apparent that Lucius wasn't going to repeat it. Cho rolled her eyes. "That rules out a lot of places," she commented.  
  
Before anyone could say anything else, Colin started jumping up and down. "Oh! I know where we could go! I know where we could go!" he said excitedly, raising his hand as if he was in one of his classes.  
  
"We're not in class Colin, so you really don't have to raise your hand," Lupin pointed out, trying not to laugh, "But go ahead and tell us what your idea is." Everyone looked at Colin curiously, but they were sure that his idea wouldn't be one that they would particularly want to use.  
  
"I think we should go up to the Gryffindor dorms! Or the common room! Or some place where we could find Harry!" he said, smiling in anticipation. Everyone rolled their eyes. That was so typically Colin, and getting pretty old. "Colin, we all love Harry," Sirius said, trying to be tactful for once in his life, "but really, none of us want to spend the night looking for him."  
  
Colin nodded understandingly. "Okay, well then how about we go down to the dance? I mean, that's probably where Harry is anyway. And besides, isn't the dance supposed to be the whole point of tonight?" he asked sensibly.  
  
"What is this world coming to? Colin Creevey just made sense. And he just had an actual fairly good idea that wasn't solely based around Potter (even if it was mostly based on him). I'm shocked, to say the least," Lucius said off-handedly, knowing all about Colin's obsession from Draco's filling him in.  
  
Any normal person would have been insulted, but Colin wasn't normal by any stretch, so he took it as a compliment. Everyone else agreed to the idea too, after they knew they were safe from the wrath of Lucius. "Alright, then let's go!" Sirius said happily, walking toward the door. 


	45. Sherbet Lemons

A/N- Once again, sorry about the wait. But at least it's not as long as it was before. I'm glad you're sticking with it. I've gotten some Remmie/Sirius requests again, and I still don't know what to do! I don't want anyone mad at me, but I'm going to have to decide soon what to do. So here's the poll: Do you want **a. Remmie/Sirius all the way!** **b. No Remmie/Sirius at all!** **c. hints of Remmie/Sirius** **or d. No Remmie/Sirius but with an alternate chapter that you don't have to read but can if you want to about them** LET ME KNOW! I NEED YOUR INPUT! I'll probably do whichever one gets the most votes, and if you don't vote, then you can't complain about what happens. Anyway, keep reading! R/R!  
  
"Professor McGonagall, do you wear thongs?" Dumbledore asked curiously as the two professors sat in his office. Dumbledore was eating sherbet lemons and Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans alternatively. He had been doing this ever since an hour ago, when he and McGonagall went up to his office (about an hour after the dance had started).  
  
"Albus, no, I do not wear thongs," she replied, appalled at the nature of the question, "And do you think perhaps you've had enough of those muggle candies?" Dumbledore rolled his eyes and popped another sherbet lemon into his mouth, ignoring her point.  
  
"I love sherbet lemons, don't you? They are really a wonderful invention. I can't believe wizards have never made a candy like this!" he said, shaking his head. Minerva shook her head too; she couldn't believe how ridiculous a conversation they were having.  
  
"Are you sure you're not 'sugar high', Dumbledore?" she asked him, using a term that Fred and George used way too often as an excuse for why they couldn't concentrate in her class. Dumbledore nodded that he was positive that he was not. Skeptically, Professor McGonagall allowed herself to believe him.  
  
"Hmm. Albus?" she asked tentatively, reaching up and unpinning her hair from its typical tight bun and letting it fall around her face, "Can I ask you something?" Dumbledore popped a Bertie Bott's bean in his mouth and nodded, looking surprised that she had taken her hair out of its signature uptight style.  
  
"Go right ahead," he said when he had swallowed it. He could have sworn that when McGonagall opened her mouth, she started to blush. "Albus?" she said sheepishly, "Can I have a sherbet lemon?"  
  
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows so high that they looked as if they were going to fall right off his head. "You just got through insulting my absolute favorite candy in the whole world and now you want one?" he asked incredulously.  
  
Professor McGonagall nodded, still looking sheepish. "Okay," Dumbledore agreed, "Just making sure I had everything straight." With that, he handed her a sugary sherbet lemon. She took it and ate it, still looking a little skeptical at just how good it would be.  
  
"Mmm! This is delicious!" she said, eyes widening in surprise, "It's sweet and sour and-wow! What a kick!" Professor Dumbledore tried not to laugh as he watched yet another person fall victim to the joys of the sherbet lemon. Never had any other candy been quite as delicious as that one.  
  
He was still chuckling when McGonagall looked up at him again. "Albus, could I possibly have another sherbet lemon?" she requested, holding out her hand expectantly. Agreeing easily, Dumbledore consented to give her another one. "They are delicious, aren't they?" he said, popping another one into his own mouth.  
  
A FEW HOURS LATER (WE NOW RETURN TO BASICALLY THE PRESENT TIME)  
  
"Do you wear thongs, Albus?" Professor McGonagall asked curiously, still sitting with Professor Dumbledore in his office. Dumbledore snorted in laughter, eating another sherbet lemon as he did so.  
  
"I thought I already asked *you* that!" he said, dodging the question intuitively. McGonagall had to think back a little bit to remember that. The sherbet lemons had given both of them a sugar high that had fogged up their brains a bit. This was especially tough since they had been sitting for already a few hours, talking, laughing, and having fun, continuously eating sherbet lemons all the while.  
  
"Did you?" she asked thoughtfully, "Oh wait, I remember now! You did! But-that was quite a few hours ago." Dumbledore nodded, remembering the moment. He had already been sugar high when he had asked the question. It wasn't *quite* the type of thing he would ask in his normal state of mind. He was a strange person, but not that strange.  
  
"Wait a minute! Quite a few hours ago?!" McGonagall said nervously just as Dumbledore said, "Do I wear a thong? I don't know, you tell me!"  
  
"Dumbledore, whether or not you wear a thong can wait! The dance is more than halfway over, and you still haven't taken off the spell to hold everyone to their partners! Poor people like Hermione Granger are still being tortured by being held to people like Draco Malfoy! You've got to go take that spell off right now!" McGonagall said urgently.  
  
"Can't I just take it off from right here?" Dumbledore asked, reaching for another sherbet lemon. Minerva grabbed his hand before he could even open it. "Don't even THINK about eating another sherbet lemon. I don't care HOW good they are. You can eat as many as you want, but first you are going to go take off that spell!" she commanded, getting up and practically dragging him to the door.  
  
Dumbledore followed her reluctantly, but understanding that she was completely right. "Alright. But I think they all have to be in the same room for me to take off the spell," he said pensively, following Professor McGonagall down the winding stairs of his office.  
  
"I know that. I listen when you talk to me," she said a little snappishly, "That's why we're going to go to the Great Hall, and you're going to summon anyone who isn't in there to there, and then you're going to take it off!"  
  
Dumbledore nodded that he understood. "That's very sensible. Excellent idea," he complimented her. "Thank you," she said semi- graciously, "Now let's pick up the pace and get down to business."  
  
"That's just what I've been saying all along!" Professor Dumbledore said, shaking his head as if it had been Professor McGonagall that had started all the trouble. McGonagall's eyes looked as though they were going to bug out of her head.  
  
"Don't even THINK about pulling that on me, Albus. You started this entire thing with your sherbet lemons (which, incidentally, taste incredible). You were the one who got sugar high before I did and completely forgot about your spell. So don't you DARE blame me for any of this," she said, stamping her foot to prove her point.  
  
Dumbledore nodded, willing to go along with whatever she said when she said it so forcefully. "Alright," he said, "Well I'm right behind you. Let's go fix this!" Professor McGonagall shook her head at the Headmaster's slight off-balance-ness, but shrugged and followed him as he stepped in front of her and they both started hurrying towards the Great Hall.  
  
A/N- Again, I'm sorry for the wait, and for the shortness of this chapter. Now that you've read it, R/R and send me your choice in the poll at the top! Well, only if you want to. Thanks! 


	46. Accio

A/N- Thank you all for voting in the poll! I got such a mix of definite Remmie/Sirius and none at all that I can't really put it in without getting people mad. Sorry if that gets you mad. But I'm going to put **hints** which can be completely ignored if you don't want them there, and if anyone really wants a separate chapter about them I can try to write that if I get enough requests. **Request if you want an alternate chappie!!**  
  
A/N- Keep reading, and try to stick with it even though I can't update as often as I'd like to! R/R!  
  
Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore continued to hurry toward the Great Hall. They were both walking as fast as they could, knowing only too well that they were going to have quite a few angry students on their hands if they didn't take the spell of right away. It had already been far too long.  
  
"How mad do you think they're going to be? Screaming mad? Cursing mad? Angry mob mad?" Dumbledore asked curiously as they got close to the Great Hall. McGonagall had to laugh at the picture of Professor Dumbledore being chased by an angry mob of students, staff, and others.  
  
"Not angry mob mad," she said firmly, knowing that as crazy as the students of Hogwarts could be sometimes, there was no chance of an angry mob chasing after Dumbledore, "Probably screaming mad-but if and ONLY IF you tell them that the reason you didn't take the spell off was because we were getting sugar high."  
  
That reasoning sounded perfectly plausible to Dumbledore, so he relaxed a little bit, but continued to rush, McGonagall hurrying along behind him. "Well, here we are," she said a little nervously when they arrived at the doors, "I'm right behind you, Albus."  
  
Dumbledore gave her a fleeting glance of worry. Sometimes he really amazed her. The man didn't even flinch when someone like Severus Snape glared at him, but at the thought of an angry mob of students he was quaking. However, he put aside his worry and walked into the hall, and she kept to her word and followed him inside.  
  
"Hey look, it's Dumbledore!" Lavender whispered to Seamus in the middle of a dance when they saw him walk into the Hall. "I wonder what he was doing," Seamus whispered back, "I didn't even notice him leaving."  
  
Seamus and Lavender had been dancing almost the whole night, and having been very happy with the pairing that they had been assigned, they didn't even realize that Professor Dumbledore had forgotten to take the spell off.  
  
In fact, most of the people in the Great Hall hadn't realized this. It was pretty much full of the happy couples, both paired and together out of free will. Really, the dysfunctional ones were the ones who had left, so Dumbledore shouldn't have worried when he had entered. The time when he'd have to worry would be when he summoned everyone into the Hall to take off the spell.  
  
"Minerva, what am I supposed to do now? I need to summon everyone here before I can even attempt to take off the spell!" Dumbledore said, not quite thinking straight. McGonagall came close to rolling her eyes. She explained to him in as calm a tone as she could muster that he had just answered his own question.  
  
Professor Dumbledore laughed at his own stupidity. "Oh of course," he admitted humbly, "But I suppose I'll have to do it in pairs of two. Reason being that they can't be more than five feet away from each other. And I mean we all know that sometimes mass Summoning Charms don't work out so I can't do everyone at once. I'll never forget that time when I tried to summon about 10 people at the same time to a room and they all ended up in a pile with a few too many broken bones for comfort. And then there was that time when-"  
  
"Albus," McGonagall said sternly, "stop rambling and start summoning." "Right," Dumbledore said, "That's what I'm going to do right now. But maybe I ought to warn everyone in the Hall first, just so that there isn't any panic."  
  
Starting to flare up, having never been a patient or procrastinating person, McGonagall begged, "Quickly Dumbledore. I don't have a clue as to why you're so nervous about the summoning, but hurry up and warn everyone so that you don't wind up with an angry mob on your hands."  
  
Dumbledore agreed, if only to calm her down so that she wouldn't try to take control of everything herself. Muttering 'Sonorus' under his breath, he got everyone in the Great Hall's attention by yelling, "SHERBET LEMON!" Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing and turned to look.  
  
"Good, now I have your attention," Dumbledore said, trying not to laugh, "I have an announcement to make." "ANOTHER ONE?" a bored-looking fourth year shouted. Everyone groaned. It just didn't have a particularly funny effect when someone contradicted Professor Dumbledore, except for certain people (Fred and George, for example).  
  
"Yes, another one," Professor Dumbledore said good-naturedly, "As you may know, I was supposed to remove the spell to hold those who participated in Blind Date to their partners when the dance was halfway over. However, for a reason unimportant, I was not able to do this.  
  
Therefore, I am planning to do it now. However, in order to do this I need to have all the participants in this room. This means I will be performing a series of Summoning Charms. If you would all consent to form a large circle so that I can gather everyone together to take off the spell, it would be much appreciated. Thank you."  
  
Dumbledore being Dumbledore, he typically commanded a lot of authority. Everyone listened to him, moving out of the center of the room and forming a circle. "Professor Dumbledore, can you also summon Colin Creevey down here?" Lavender asked, "Because he was driving me crazy and he finally left but I just realized I threw my lip gloss at him when he was bothering me and he didn't give it back."  
  
Arching an eyebrow at the strangeness of the story, Professor Dumbledore still said that he would be happy to. "In fact, why don't I start with him," he said, still reluctant to use the double Summoning Charm, "Accio Colin Creevey!"  
  
Everyone looked on, and after a momentary wait, Colin came zooming into the Great Hall and crash landed on the floor. "OW! OW OW OW!" Colin yelled, holding his arm, "I HIT MY FUNNY BONE!"  
  
Dumbledore winced. He knew how unpleasant it was to hit your funny bone from, personal experience, and Colin had really crashed the floor, so it had to have been pretty painful. "I'm so sorry, Colin," he apologized as McGonagall ushered him to the side of the circle.  
  
Thinking quickly, Dumbledore realized that he didn't need any more serious injuries than that. Taking a minute, he conjured up a few mattresses so that the other people he summoned wouldn't have as unpleasant a time as Colin had.  
  
"Albus, get on with it," Professor McGonagall reminded him after a minute had gone by and he hadn't made a move. Dumbledore snapped back to attention again abruptly. "Yes of course," he said a little apprehensively, "I'll get right to it. Hmm. We'll start with- Accio George Weasley and Alicia Spinnett!"  
  
They too came whizzing in, but they landed comfortably next to each other on the mattresses. "That was bloody brilliant!" George yelled, looking up at Dumbledore, "But why in the world did you do it?" Dumbledore promised that he would explain after he had summoned everyone else, and McGonagall led them over to the side as was going to be the routine.  
  
Professor Dumbledore continued with, "Accio Fred Weasley and Angelina Johnson!" Without a hitch, they landed next to each other safely. "That was bloody brilliant!" Fred yelled, looking up at Dumbledore, "But why in the world did you do it?"  
  
Everyone in the room had to laugh at that. Angelina and Fred both looked a little confused though. "What? What's so funny? I mean I know I'm hilarious, but why was that funny?" Fred asked curiously.  
  
"George just said the exact same thing a minute ago," Alicia explained, giggling, "And I have to say, it's pretty scary how alike your minds are." Angelina agreed. "Yeah it is," George admitted, winking at Fred, "Both of our minds are usually only on one thing."  
  
After the twin fashion, they both in unison leaned in and snogged their Blind Date partner. "Oh, get a room," Professor McGonagall sniffed in her usual manner as she separated Fred and Angelina and took them over to Colin, Alicia, and George on the side.  
  
"Next, Accio Ron Weasley and Pansy Parkinson!" Dumbledore said a little louder, encouraged by his successes thus far. Flying in, Ron landed well, but Pansy hit a little harder than the diva would have liked. "Was that really necessary?" she asked, checking her nails to make sure they weren't chipped or broken.  
  
"Typical girl," Ron groaned, rolling his eyes as they got led to the side, "they just don't appreciate the thrill of flying through the air without even a broomstick." Pansy stared at him like he had sprouted a second nose. "I appreciate it just as much as any guy," she said irritably, "I just don't appreciate it when it's so disorganized and unexpected."  
  
Even Dumbledore got annoyed with that comment, but he ignored it and focused instead on the fact that he was doing so well with his double Summoning Charm. "Continuing on," he said pointedly, "Accio Percy Weasley and Penelope Clearwater!"  
  
This was a little awkward, because Percy and Penny had been holding hands when they were summoned, and so the landing was a little rougher because they were still holding hands when they landed and couldn't brace themselves. "Ow," Penny said, letting go of Percy's hand to rub her shoulder, which she had hit.  
  
"Are you okay?" Percy asked with concern, helping her up. Penny nodded, grinning at how nice Percy was being, especially compared to how bad a date he had been at the beginning of the evening. "Awww," Fred scoffed, but even he looked happy at the apparent change in his brother.  
  
"Accio Oliver Wood and Katie Bell!" Dumbledore waved his wand, and Oliver and Katie flew in and landed side by side lying down. "That was unexpected," Oliver said, looking up at the ceiling, which was covered in stars.  
  
Katie nodded, standing up and grabbing Oliver's hand to lift him up. They walked over themselves to where everyone else was standing. Everything was so far so good as far as Dumbledore's worry of an angry mob went. He hadn't even had any incidents of really bad landings on the mattresses either.  
  
"Accio Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley!" continued Dumbledore, smiling as the two entered with a whoosh and landed on the mattresses, Harry on top of Ginny. Dumbledore wrinkled his brow, hoping that they would get up quickly and no one would think anything of the mistake.  
  
"Harry, get off, I can't get up!" Ginny giggled, blushing in spite of herself. Harry did so quickly, blushing just as much. The fairly new couple was pretty modest, and blushed even at little things like this. "Harry, Ginny, that wasn't funny!" Fred and George said, feeling strangely overprotective of their little sister.  
  
"I second that!" Ron added in his two cents, agreeing with Fred and George. To everyone's complete and utter surprise, it was Percy who said, "Oh, it was just a mistake. There was nothing meant by it." Penny's mouth dropped open, Oliver looked like he was about to faint from shock, and there wasn't a single face that didn't look wide-eyed that the Lord of Detention Giving had just defended something like that.  
  
Seeing that Percy had somehow shockingly taken care of the situation for him, Dumbledore kept going. "Accio Lucius Malfoy and Cho Chang!" was the next pair summoned. They flew in without a hitch, but there was a problem when Lucius landed on his back on the mattress and Cho landed on top of him.  
  
"AH! MY HAIR!" Lucius exclaimed, scowling at the thought of his precious blonde tresses getting flawed. "Oh get over it," Cho said coldly, rolling her eyes at his vanity. "Get off me!" Lucius drawled, glaring at her. Cho glared right back at him. "With pleasure," she said, standing up immediately.  
  
Lucius got up right after she did, and brushed off his hair to make sure that it looked okay. "That's pathetic," said Cho frostily, "Get a life." Lucius sniggered and flipped his ice blonde hair. "Actually, if you don't remember, I'm married. I already have a life," Lucius retorted, sneering.  
  
"Lucius, Cho, just follow me to where everyone else is standing," McGonagall interrupted the argument, leading them to the side. They followed, both looking disgruntled, but not having much choice.  
  
"I hate you," Cho whispered to Lucius as they stood waiting. "I hate you more," he replied angrily. "Alright, that's enough," Professor Dumbledore insisted, trying not to delay, "Accio Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger!"  
  
It happened in much the same scenario as Lucius and Cho. Draco landed flat on his back with Hermione on top. "AH! HERMIONE! GET OFF HIM!" Ron said, looking just a little jealous. "Get her off, Draco!" Lucius yelled, appalled at the idea of a Mudblood having anything over his son.  
  
"AH! MY HAIR!" Draco said disappointedly, annoyed about his perfectly gelled hair getting a little imperfect. "Like father, like son," Fred pointed out, laughing at both Lucius and Draco and their obsession with their hair.  
  
"Granger, I'm giving you about two seconds to get off me so that I can get up," Draco drawled, rolling his eyes. Hermione didn't hesitate a second before getting up. "Oh Malfoy, is your hair okay?" she asked sarcastically, faking concern. All Draco could do was smirk at her as McGonagall led them to the side.  
  
"Can we please hurry this up, Professor Dumbledore?" Hermione asked hopefully, "The less time I have to spend near Malfoy, the better. Can't you just summon the remaining people all at once?"  
  
Dumbledore really wanted to appease her, since she was after all one of the best students at Hogwarts. But he just didn't feel comfortable summoning the remaining six people all at once. Even the best wizards have their faults, and his was large summoning charms (and also a weakness for sugary sweets).  
  
"I'll do a group of four and another double, alright Hermione?" he asked, trying to compromise without having to have somebody getting hurt. Hermione accepted this easily, not that she would ever really disagree with the Headmaster.  
  
"Here goes nothing," Dumbledore said, inexplicably nervous again (the sugar high must have given him a drop in confidence), "Accio Sirius Black and Parvati Patil, Remus Lupin and Cissa Malfoy!"  
  
The wait was just a little longer than usual, because it was considerably more difficult to summon four people than it was just two. But fairly quickly, everyone saw the foursome come zooming in. They were moving faster than usual, because with four people there was less control.  
  
"WOOHOO!" Sirius yelled, loving the rush as they zoomed towards the mattresses. But since there was less control with more people, though they landed on the mattresses, it was in a big pile and couldn't have been very comfortable.  
  
"Ouch," Sirius said as he crash landed, but it was rather muffled under Remmie, Cissa, and Parvati on the very top of the pile. Lucky Parvati was able to hop off the pile with ease, but the other three weren't so lucky.  
  
"Cissa, would you please get off me?" Remmie requested nicely. "Yeah, get off him!" Sirius said, but she barely heard him at the bottom of the pile. Remmie, not enjoying being squished by one of his least favorite people, tried to push her off.  
  
Cissa almost reached back and slapped him. She would have if she had been in a better position to reach. "Don't you dare push me!" she said icily, reaching up to check that he hadn't messed up her hair. "It must run in the family," Fred commented, sniggering at the three Malfoys and their vanity.  
  
"He won't push you if you get off him!" Sirius retorted, but Cissa ignored him, "Remmie! Make her get off, I'm so squished!" Remmie laughed at Sirius and his whining. If it weren't for the fact that Cissa didn't want to spend any more time than she had to on this pile, she would have stayed just to annoy Sirius.  
  
However, having already almost messed things up with her husband once this evening, and not wanting to be too near either Sirius or Remmie for longer than she absolutely had to, she got off as quickly as she was able.  
  
"Remmie! Your turn to get off! I'm still squished down here!" Sirius continued to whine, if only for the effect of getting on Cissa's nerves while she continued to have no choice but to remain right nearby.  
  
Remmie rolled his eyes again. Sirius, although he was one of the most fun people he knew, tended to have the eye-rolling effect on people. And that was just for his friends. On his acquaintances, he had the teeth grinding effect. And for those who were more like his enemies, he often caused them to come very close to strangling him.  
  
"Maybe I don't want to," Remmie pointed out, deciding that he really had nothing better to do than enjoy himself and knowing just how to push his best friend's buttons. Besides, it would annoy Cissa even more than it had already. Sirius growled, thinking maybe he could scare Remmie off him.  
  
"Sirius, come on, do you really think I'm going to be scared of a pathetic growl like that?" he asked, still not moving. Sirius shook his head. "Well if you'd get off me, I wouldn't have to try!"  
  
The two of them were now cracking up, but there were some people (like Lucius and Cissa) who just weren't amused. "Lupin, just get off him. I'd kind of like to go stand with everybody else, and I can't because you won't just move over there," she said, rolling her eyes at their immaturity.  
  
"And I thought Black could sink no lower on his own, but somehow now he's got Lupin. Congratulations Black, you've done the impossible and become even more pathetic than you already were," Lucius drawled, arching an eyebrow.  
  
Draco laughed at his father's attempt to draw the attention away from their hair fetish and onto Sirius, but many others didn't look too amused. Harry was gritting his teeth to keep from reaching for his wand, and Ron and Hermione looked pretty angry.  
  
"Don't turn this into something it doesn't need to be, Malfoy. We already had this conversation far too many times. I think it's getting just a little old," Lupin commented off-handedly, looking at Lucius as if he was 'so five minutes ago.'  
  
"Don't worry Remmie, he's just upset because we insulted his bows," Sirius said from where he was squished to the mattress. "STOP TALKING ABOUT THE BOWS! THE BOWS ARE HOT!" Lucius yelled angrily, to the surprise of everyone in the room.  
  
Sirius started laughing and couldn't stop as soon as he heard Lucius say that. "Oh man! If only Sevvie was here to hear you say that!" he sniggered loudly. Lucius glared at him, trying not to comment. He would have, but he didn't want another outburst to escape him in front of everyone.  
  
"Sirius, stop! You're going to blow out my eardrums!" Remmie pointed out. This time though, Lucius couldn't resist. "That's not all he'll-" he managed to get out before Percy of all people strode over and covered Lucius' mouth with his hand. "Finish that sentence and I'll give you a detention, blondie," Percy proceeded to say, looking at him with distaste.  
  
All the Weasleys gasped, and Sirius and Remmie dissolved into laughter. Lucius had never been more surprised or angry. His face looked murderous, and had he and Percy been the only ones in the room he probably would have cursed him until there was nothing left to curse.  
  
Luckily for Percy, though, this couldn't happen, and Lucius was pretty powerless to insult one of Dumbledore's own students with Dumbledore around. The Headmaster, continuing to make the situation amazing, started chuckling and clapping. Slowly, the whole room started clapping.  
  
Sirius and Remmie high-fived on the mattress. It wasn't every day that a Weasley got the better of a Malfoy, especially Percy over Lucius. "50 points to Gryffindor!" McGonagall couldn't resist adding, smiling proudly at Percy.  
  
Finally, Lucius had had enough, and bit down on Percy's hand, making him remove it immediately. "You-I-Weasley-blondie-I AM PROUD TO BE A BLONDE!" Lucius managed to say, trying to save a little face, "AND YOU CAN'T GIVE ME A DETENTION! I've graduated!"  
  
"Yeah! Who do you think you are, Weasley?" Draco asked indignantly, sticking up for his father. "ALRIGHT! That is enough!" Dumbledore said loudly, causing everyone to go silent immediately, "Sirius, Remus, please get off each other and go stand to the side with everyone else. Lucius, it's over so don't dwell on it. And Percy, congratulations."  
  
Not being able to ignore a direct request of Professor Dumbledore, Remmie did his best to get off Sirius. "I can't! I'm stuck!" he said honestly, looking confused. Sirius looked at the back of Remmie's head in confusion. "Stuck? How can you be stuck?" he asked, taken aback.  
  
Remmie shook his head, not having a clue. Dumbledore lowered his glasses and looked down at the two of them. The authentic looks of surprise on their faces guaranteed that they were not lying. He then looked to the previously summoned crowd. He couldn't help noticing that Lucius appeared to be trying to hide a snigger.  
  
"Lucius Malfoy. Take that spell off immediately," Dumbledore commanded intuitively, looking seriously at Lucius. Even Lucius couldn't disobey Dumbledore when he used that tone of voice. A look of contempt on his face, he waved his wand and removed whatever spell he had used to make it impossible for Remmie to get up.  
  
As soon as he had finished, Remmie was able to stand right up. "Remmie," whined Sirius, with a wink in Lucius' direction, "will you help me up?" Shaking his head, Remmie offered a hand and pulled Sirius up.  
  
"Finally," Cissa said exasperatedly as she, Remmie, Sirius, and Parvati walked over to the crowd, "Now all we need is to get this ridiculous spell off, and I'll feel a lot better." Remmie looked at her with disdain. "As will I," he said, disliking her more and more by the minute.  
  
"Dumbledore, can you PLEASE take the spell off now?" Sirius asked, trying to help out his friend. Dumbledore shook his head, realizing that in all the time wasted on Sirius and Remus trying to get up he had forgotten that there were still two more people left to summon.  
  
"I will very soon," he promised, meaning every word, "I have just two people left, and then I'll remove it. I apologize again for the inconvenience. I'll explain everything as soon as I just summon these last two."  
  
McGonagall bit her lip, knowing that as bad as Dumbledore felt about the whole thing, his explanation of why he had waited so long to remove the spell was probably not going to make anyone feel better. But there was nothing she could do. It was already done.  
  
"Get on with it," Lucius said, still suffering from his injured pride. Dumbledore nodded understandingly. "Of course," he said apologetically, "Accio Severus Snape and Ally Sinistra!" 


	47. Too Sexy

A/N- Hope you all had a good holiday! I'm back again to finally update. I've only got one or two requests for an alternate chappie so far so I'm just reminding you to **Request if you want an alternate chapter!**As far as the slash, if you don't like it don't worry. It's not going to be real slash at all. It's humor remember, and the worst of it was probably the Truth or Dare kiss, so don't stop reading because of that, please! It's just in fun, and half of it is probably mocking by Lucius anyway.  
  
A/N- Keep reading, you [hopefully] won't regret it. If you have a suggestion on something to happen feel free to tell me, but no flames please. Thanks for reviewing, R/R!  
  
"I said, Accio Severus Snape and Ally Sinistra!" Dumbledore repeated when they hadn't appeared after a minute. "Maybe they snuck off the grounds to get drunk and skinny dip," Sirius suggested ever-so-helpfully, causing Cissa to slap the side of his head.  
  
"Hey, watch it!" he said indignantly. But all the commotion stopped when the spell took effect, and Sevvie and Ally began zooming through Hogwarts into the Great Hall. "WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON?!" Sevvie exclaimed as he and Ally landed entangled on the mattress.  
  
"I think it would be safe to ask you the same question," Remmie pointed out. "My God, Sev, I didn't know you had it in you," Sirius managed to get out before he dissolved into uncontrollable sniggering. "I am scarred for life," Ron said, looking a little green.  
  
They were all staring at the spectacle before them on the mattresses. Ally was only wearing the slip to her black dress, which was now lying forgotten on the floor of Snape's dungeon. She and Snape were both entwined in a sheet. And Sevvie was wearing no more than short and far too tight black boxers that said 'Too Sexy' on them in silver glitter.  
  
"SNAPE!" Lucius yelled over everyone else, "THOSE ARE MY BOXERS! What makes you think you can just take my boxers like that? And wearing them! THEY'RE MINE! They cost me money!"  
  
"Well," Snape spluttered, not knowing quite what to say, and *really* wishing that he and Lucius could have this conversation later and not in front of the whole Great Hall, comprising mostly of his students, "I thought since you had just let them lying on the floor, it would be okay?"  
  
Lucius glared at him, glare at high power. "Those were in my suitcase, Snape," he said silkily, trying not to lose his cool again, "It is not okay. Now give me those back. ACCIO 'TOO SEXY' BOXERS!"  
  
"Father, no!" Draco tried to stop him, but he said it a split second too late; the Summoning Charm was already in motion. "I cannot believe you just did that!" Sevvie gasped, grabbing the sheet he and Ally had been tangled in and tying it around his waist like a towel.  
  
"Oh!" Ally started, now blushing profusely. Even Sevvie, whose face was normally very pale, had a twinge of red in his cheeks. It was by far the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to him, topping even the time when his least favorite people in the world (the Marauders) had flipped him upside down so that his gray boxers were showing.  
  
"I did not need to see that," Lucius said, attempting to use his 'Too Sexy' boxers as a blindfold. "Well that confirms any suspicions anyone had about Lucius," Sirius whispered to Remmie, who sniggered.  
  
"I heard that!" Lucius said, very close to losing his cool again. "Lucius, we need to have a talk about bad timing," Sevvie said, his voice sounding more like a squeak. Sirius tried to hold in his laughter, because Snape looked ready to kill, and he didn't have a death wish just yet.  
  
"Come on, Sev, let's just go stand over there with everyone else," Ally suggested, helping him up and walking over to the crowd. Sevvie followed her, retying the sheet tightly around him like a toga and desperately trying to make sure that it wouldn't fall off. "Nice look, Toga Man," Fred couldn't resist saying as Snape walked by him.  
  
If Fred hadn't been one of his students, Snape would have cursed him on the spot. Sirius shot Fred an admiring look. "Toga Man," he choked out, collapsing onto the floor at the sheer hilarity of the whole situation. "Sirius, I wouldn't-" Remmie tried to advise, but it was too late. Snape had already whipped around and was striding angrily towards Sirius.  
  
"Do you want to deal with the wrath of Severus Snape?" he snarled, looking at Sirius with pure hatred. It was the same sort of look he gave Harry in Potions on a particularly bad day. Harry recognized it well. But Snape had never been more embarrassed, and he couldn't handle Sirius Black adding to it.  
  
"Sevvie, I hate to break it to you, but you just don't look all that intimidating wearing a sheet toga. And if you expect me to ever fully take you seriously again after that little display, then you're asking a lot," Sirius pointed out, making Remmie wince (it was all he could do not to just collapse onto the floor like Sirius, though).  
  
Snape was practically shaking with rage. "If I had my wand on me, Black, I would curse you until you cried," he said, wishing that he hadn't left it on the floor of his dungeon. "Your wand?" Sirius squeaked out, tears streaming down his face he was laughing so hard.  
  
Even Hermione was starting to laugh now. "Oh alright, enough is enough!" Dumbledore said, although he too was chuckling, "Professor Snape, please step away from Sirius. Sirius, please stand up and behave yourself before I give out my first ever alumni detention."  
  
Grudgingly, Snape walked with Ally down to the far side of the crowd of Blind Date participants. Remmie had to pull Sirius up to get him off the ground, but once he was standing up, he tried his best to behave. Everyone else immediately stopped their laughter, too, so that Snape wouldn't hear anyone else. He couldn't give Sirius detention, but any student was available if caught.  
  
"Are you going to tell us what's going on here now?" George asked hopefully, feeling that he had definitely waited long enough to find out. Everyone else started talking about how they agreed with him, and the rumble of voices got so loud that Professor Dumbledore was tempted to put a Silencing Charm on everyone. "QUIET!" he yelled, making everyone jump. It had its effect though. They all shut up without question.  
  
"Does this mean you're going to remove the spell?" Pansy asked, shooting a disgruntled look at Ron before winking at Draco. "Yes, it does," Dumbledore smiled, "But first, I think I owe you some explanation." McGonagall winced, sure that this was not going to be pretty.  
  
"Please, Professor Dumbledore, is an explanation really necessary?" Hermione asked politely, but not wanting to waste a second longer than she had to next to Draco. "Yes, really Albus, an explanation is not at all necessary," McGonagall said, shaking her head, "I'm sure it wouldn't do any good-only hurt both of our reputations-I mean to say-"  
  
She wanted to continue to explain how Dumbledore talking about his sugar high was not going to earn him any praise (except maybe from Fred and George), but she couldn't. She realized what she was making it sound like had happened, and she decided that it would be smarter to stop before someone else realized too. Unfortunately, Hogwarts students were pretty smart, and it was too late for that.  
  
"Wait a minute!" Oliver called out, starting to laugh, "Are you saying that-that you and Dumbledore-" Catching the look on McGonagall's face, he decided that maybe he didn't want to finish his sentence. But Snape didn't have a problem finishing it. He had already suffered enough embarrassment; he thought he might as well embarrass someone else to take the focus off himself.  
  
"Yes Wood, for the first time it appears that something has penetrated that brain of yours. It certainly does sound like she's saying that she's been banging the Headmaster," Sevvie sneered, causing Ally to hide a giggle. "Sevvie, I didn't realize you had that kind of vocabulary," Cissa commented as McGonagall blushed redder than she had ever turned in her life.  
  
Before even a minute had gone by, everyone was either talking about McGonagall and Dumbledore getting together or Snape's revealing incident and how the night just kept getting worse for him. Dumbledore let it go on for a minute, but finally he just couldn't take it anymore. "QUIET!" he had to repeat himself, adding, "If one more person says anything without being called on, then I'm giving every single student detention with Professor Snape."  
  
No one dared say another word. Detention with Snape was never a pleasant experience, and no one wanted to deal with him, especially not in the aftermath of this situation. Even Sirius, who was tempted to make a comment, refrained, not really wanting to know what his punishment would be if he misbehaved. "Thank you. Now if you can just keep this up, I'll give you a brief explanation and remove the spell," Dumbledore promised.  
  
Still no one spoke. "Excellent," he continued, "Now I'll make this quick. I would like all rumors involving Professor McGonagall and myself to cease now. We were certainly not 'banging', as Professor Snape so tastefully put it. All we were doing was eating sherbet lemons, as a matter of fact. And we accidentally got a sugar high off of them. That is the reason that I was unable to take off the spell. I sincerely apologize. Now if anyone has any questions before I remove the spell, please raise your hands."  
  
Fred Weasley raised his hand, looking at the floor to hide the glint in his eyes. Dumbledore had no choice but to call on him, although he was slightly afraid of what his question might be. "Are you and Professor McGonagall romantically interested in each other?" he asked, at which Angelina playfully knocked him upside the head.  
  
"Don't make me give you a detention, Mr. Weasley," McGonagall jumped in before Dumbledore could answer, "Students, no more questions unless they are of a serious nature. If you want the spell taken off, I would recommend remaining quiet. Now, any questions?" No one raised their hands, so McGonagall nodded to Dumbledore to take the spell off.  
  
Raising his wand, he said the incantation, and silver wand sparks flew all over the Great Hall. In the midst of the removal of the spell, it was very pretty. But no one could predict whether or not what happened after it was finished would be. 


	48. Not Jealous At All

A/N- I have had so much work I honestly haven't been on the computer (other than for school work) for more than five minutes in the past two weeks (I'M SORRY!). I'm back now though, and ready to write again. I've also decided that I will be making an alternate chappie sometime soon so if you requested it, you know that it's coming. More chapters are to come as soon as I have time. But now, to continue on with the story, THE NEXT CHAPTER! R/R!  
  
The incantation had to be pretty powerful to remove the 5 foot spell from all 26 participants in Blind Date. That would probably explain why a few people got a little shock when the silver wand sparks hit them. "What kind of spell IS this?" Sirius asked, laughing as he felt himself get hit.  
  
Nobody was really listening; they were too busy watching the wand sparks or their partners to see what would happen. Finally the last silver spark fizzled and went out. "Is it gone? Is the spell off?" Hermione asked hopefully, looking up from the floor that she had been focusing on during the spell.  
  
Dumbledore nodded with relief. Professor McGonagall laughed as she saw how comforted he appeared to be now that his worries about causing havoc with the students were basically over. He didn't really think any of the embarrassing events of the Summoning Charm would have terrible effects on anyone, and he certainly wasn't really at fault. At least, no one could fully blame him for it.  
  
"FINALLY!" Cissa exclaimed, walking away from Remmie over to Lucius without a hitch. "You think she's happy? Imagine how I feel to get rid of her," Remmie mumbled under his breath to Sirius. He started to laugh, but one glare from Lucius shut him up. He wasn't really in the mood to continue pushing his luck right now. He wouldn't want Dumbledore to give him detention, and as crazy an idea as he was, he wouldn't put it past the old man. He could be feisty at times, Sirius was sure.  
  
"Thank god that's over," Ron said, walking over to where Hermione was standing with Harry and Ginny. Harry smiled sympathetically. Poor Ron had had pretty bad luck. And Hermione had had it even worse. She really deserved something good for putting up with Malfoy all night.  
  
"Yeah, I really have to give you credit for handling Pansy like you did, Ron. I honestly wouldn't have expected it from you, no offense," Ginny said, actually proud of her brother for once. Ron rolled his eyes at the somewhat twisted version of a compliment, but he was happy all the same.  
  
"But Hermione, I think you deserve the most reward out of all of us," Harry said truthfully, "Being stuck with Malfoy for a whole evening can't have been a picnic." Hermione grinned ruefully. It certainly hadn't been. The only thing that had made it tolerable was the fact that Ron had been around.  
  
"I managed somehow," she said, keeping her reasoning to herself. Her eyes must have accidentally glanced over at Ron as she said it though, because Harry smiled as if he knew exactly what her reasoning was. "Ginny, can I talk to you for a second in private?" he asked, pondering what he had just realized fully for the first time.  
  
Ron looked at Harry skeptically. Even though they were best friends and Harry was the most trustworthy, innocent person in the world, he still wasn't fully comfortable letting Ginny alone with him. She was his only little sister, after all. And it wasn't as if he had a girlfriend to base any experience on. But, figuring that he might as well let them, as it was only for a moment, he turned to distract himself by talking to Hermione as Harry and Ginny walked a few paces away to where the two couldn't hear them.  
  
"What is it?" Ginny asked curiously, trying to read the expression on Harry's face with no success. "I've just realized something," he said, surprised at how natural the words sounded as he said them, "Ron and Hermione would make the perfect couple. And just think about it. If they went out, then all of your brothers would be off our back. Besides, it's so obvious that they like each other."  
  
Ginny nodded, shaking her head at how naïve Harry could be sometimes. "Harry, everyone's know they'd be the perfect couple for ages," she pointed out, "And half of England has known that Ron has had a crush on Hermione. Maybe the only two who haven't are Hermione and Ron. But about Hermione liking Ron-I suspected, but that girl is very good at hiding her feelings. Tonight though, I think it all became clear."  
  
"So will you help me set them up? I mean, they basically admitted they liked each other in Truth or Dare. But I think they need a little help to end up boyfriend and girlfriend," Harry said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
While they were trying to think of a plan, Ron and Hermione were casually talking. "Don't Harry and Ginny make the cutest couple?" Hermione asked, glancing over at them. Ron nodded reluctantly. They were a cute couple. They liked each other so much, and they also really looked good together.  
  
But sometimes, Ron just hated the fact that his little sister had a boyfriend and he was all alone. It wasn't like he was jealous. It was just he was sick of all the love in his house.  
  
To start off, there were his parents. Come on, they had had seven kids; Ron had seen them pretty affectionate. It made him want to throw up. Then there was Bill, the cool brother of the family. He and Fleur were so sickeningly open about their romance. When Fleur had stayed over during the summer he had heard them at it, and they were constantly staring into each other's eyes over breakfast.  
  
Charlie he wasn't really sure about, since he was away in Romania most of the time. But he had always been a lady's man at school, what with being Quidditch captain and all, and Ron was sure it was no different now.  
  
Fred and George had Angelina and Alicia, and the four of them were always together. It was obvious to anyone that the two girls were the perfect match for the twins. And now it was pretty clear to everyone that Ginny and Harry were an item.  
  
It wasn't that Ron was jealous, it was just annoying. He could handle it. Just because he was the odd one out didn't make him any less of a wizard. And he certainly didn't care. He was not jealous. He was not jealous at all. "Ron, what's the matter?" Hermione asked, catching the look on his face.  
  
"Nothing. I'm not jealous. Not at all," he repeated out loud. Hermione arched an eyebrow, challenging him. "Ron," she said, staring him in the face. "Okay, so I'm jealous!" he admitted, "I can't help it! Everyone in my family is paired off except me! It's just annoying! Harry is probably making it official asking out Ginny right now, and then I'll be just the only one!" Of course, neither of them knew that Harry and Ginny were actually plotting a way to get the two of them together.  
  
Meanwhile, Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia hadn't moved from the spot where they had been before Dumbledore had removed the spell. They were perfectly happy the way they had been. The impartial gangster sock had been right about those two matches without a doubt.  
  
"So what do you wanna do?" Fred asked, a little bored now that there was no action to watch with feuding mismatched couples, and they were in a big crowded room like the Great Hall. George seconded the idea that they definitely had to do something. It wouldn't be a dance if the Weasleys didn't make it memorable.  
  
"Well, tell you what," Angelina said, winking at Fred, "I'll help you come up with some crazy idea if you dance with me." There was no hesitation when Fred said, "You're on," and they walked out to the middle of the dance floor. George and Alicia followed eagerly.  
  
They were joined hardly a minute later by Seamus and Lavender, who had barely left the dance floor all night, and weren't about to start now. Padma and Dean were also dancing right near them. Like Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia, they didn't really care about the spell being off. They had gotten lucky.  
  
"I'm personally ready for something to take my mind off Snape," Katie sniggered, winking at Oliver. Oliver was practically drooling. He hadn't needed the sock at all to tell him that Katie was his perfect match. "Hmm. Something to take your mind off Snape," Oliver thought quickly, "That'll have to be something really good, because I think we all got pretty much scarred for life with that view of him before."  
  
Looking up, he caught Katie looking at him intently. "What? What is it?" he asked, nervously running a hand through his hair in case it was messed up and that was why she was looking at him. But she reached over and ruffled it back to the way it was before. There was nothing wrong with his hair. He was Oliver Wood. It didn't matter how he wore it; it always seemed to have that windswept, Quidditch-tousled look that James Potter had been famous for.  
  
"Oliver?" she asked, smiling at him flirtily, "Do you want to go play some Quidditch?" Oliver looked up at the ceiling, noting that it was dark black and covered with stars. "Isn't it a little dark for Quidditch?" he asked, the full meaning of what she had said not quite sinking in.  
  
Katie just smiled at him, arching an eyebrow mischievously. It took Oliver a second, but then he realized exactly what she meant. "OH! QUIDDITCH!" he exclaimed, causing a few people who had been standing near him to back away, "Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. I love Quidditch!"  
  
Grabbing Oliver's hand, Katie walked quickly with him towards the door. On their way out, they had to walk by Fred and George and their dates. "Hey, where are you two going?" Alicia asked, grinning at Katie.  
  
"Oh, we're off to play some Quidditch," Katie answered promptly. Angelina and Alicia, who had much better memories than the twins did sometimes, started giggling. "Isn't it a little dark for Quidditch?" George asked, not getting it yet. After Oliver gave him a pointed look though, he and Fred both got it.  
  
"OH! QUIDDITCH!" Fred yelled excitedly, "Okay. I guess it's not too dark for that then. Have fun, you two!" Rolling their eyes, Katie and Oliver continued out of the Great Hall towards the Gryffindor dorms.  
  
Across the room, Lucius and Cissa were talking to each other over champagne at the refreshment table. Cho was standing nearby pouting. Lucius was so hot; she just couldn't believe she had missed out on him. Sirius couldn't help noticing her pouting, and started to head over to her, presumably to initiate some crazy plot against Lucius involving the raven- haired girl.  
  
"Oh no you don't, Sirius. Don't you dare," Remmie advised, grabbing the back of Sirius's shirt to restrain him from going over to her. Sirius turned around and gave the Remmie puppy dog eyes look that he was so good at. "Oh, but Remmie, please? I just want to mess with Lucius a little more tonight, and then I promise I won't mess with him for over a week!" he said trying (but not succeeding) to sound innocent.  
  
Remmie shook his head profusely. "Not a chance, Sirius," he said, "You already set a record for detention when you were in school, and you're not going to set a record for alumni detentions too."  
  
Sirius knew that he was probably right, but he had really wanted to do something to spice the dance up. Messing with Lucius through Cho would have been a good idea. But he could work without it. "Okay, Remmie. I promise I won't bother Cho at all. But only if you promise to help me do something to spice up the dance," he said, trying to use his negotiation skills.  
  
Remmie couldn't help saying yes to that proposal. Sirius was a very persuasive person. Besides, Remmie knew that Sirius would get into much less trouble with whatever he decided to do if it didn't involve a student (especially not Cho, who seemed like trouble), and if he was helping him.  
  
"YES! Thank you Remmie!" Sirius grinned, "Now come over to the refreshment table with me to get some champagne." Remmie winced. He had already seen Sirius drunk once during the course of the dance, and he wasn't too eager to repeat the experience so soon. He doubted that Snape had any more Sobering Potion made up and available.  
  
"Oh, come on, don't be a party pooper," Sirius said, interpreting the look on Remmie's face correctly, "I'm just going to have one glass. I can definitely handle one glass." Sighing, Remmie knew there was no arguing with that. Sirius could certainly handle one glass of champagne, as long as he stopped at one.  
  
"Alright, we'll go get champagne. But I want you to promise me that you're only going to have one glass, and that you aren't going to mess with people's heads or play any crazy pranks to 'spice up the dance', okay?" Lupin relented, sounding far more like Sirius's professor than his best friend. He felt a little weird lecturing him, but he knew it was probably best after other events that night.  
"Oh don't worry, I promise," Sirius responded without hesitation. With that, the two of them started heading over to the refreshment table. Unfortunately for him, Remmie didn't see Sirius's fingers crossed behind his back as he made his promise. 


	49. For Merlins Sake!

A/N- Nothing to say right now, except yes, I'm working on an alt. chappie, and yes, I'm updating as fast as I can. This is so much fun. Unfortunately I have (late I know) midterms coming up. So I have to deal with those and it may take me until a week or two to update. I'm sorry about it, but there's not too much I can do unless I want to fail. Keep reading, R/R!  
  
"There is no such thing as a subtle hint when it comes to Ron," Ginny pointed out to Harry when he suggested that they just subtly hint to Ron that he and Hermione would made a good couple, "I've been trying to subtly hint it to him for ages. He doesn't get it."  
  
Harry had to admit that she had a point. When it came to Hermione, Ron was completely clueless. And in general, he didn't often pick up on things unless someone almost spelled them out for him.  
  
"Okay, then why don't we just come out and say it. We could just tell him that we think Hermione likes him and that he should ask her out," Harry tried again. Ginny shook her head. "We can't just tell him! He might get mad at us for meddling in his nonexistent love life!" she said. It almost sounded like she was directly quoting her brother.  
  
Harry threw up his hands in exasperation. "Well then what do we do? We can't hint, and we can't come right out and say it! What other option is there?" he asked, losing his patience. He would much rather have been dancing with Ginny right now than arguing with her over how they were supposed to help Ron and Hermione hook up. However, he was too good a best friend to Ron to do that.  
  
Ginny had to think before answering. She had never thought getting Ron and Hermione together would be so hard. They were the most obvious couple ever; it shouldn't have been this much work. Suddenly, her eyes got a glint in them. "What? What is it?" Harry asked, seeing the look.  
  
"We can't hint. And we can't come right out and say it," Ginny repeated, "But we could get someone else to do it for us. And we could get someone who wouldn't do either of those things. Think about it. Who is the one person Ron is most likely to do exactly the opposite of what they say? Who could use indirect logic to get him to do it?"  
  
Harry looked at her, a little confused. She clearly had a good idea, but he didn't quite get the wording. "You lost me there, Ginny," he said, "Just tell me the plan." Ginny grinned, enjoying her new role as the brains of the operation. "No problem," she said, "All we have to do is talk to one person Ron Weasley can't stand. It's time to pay a visit to Draco Malfoy."  
  
"Woohoo," Harry commented, thinking of how much he was going to hate being in Draco's debt, "This is going to be a fun conversation." Ignoring Harry's lack of enthusiasm, Ginny grabbed his hand and they started walking over to where Draco was happily dancing with Pansy, who hanging all over him.  
  
Meanwhile, Fred and George were plotting as they were dancing. "There has to be some crazy thing we can do to be remembered at this dance," George said, deep in thought. But it was harder than he thought it would be to think of an idea. "Fred, have you got anything?" he asked after a few minutes had gone by and he hadn't had any success.  
  
Fred shook his head, looking a little dazed. "Are you wearing perfume?" he asked, inhaling Angelina's hair. She laughed, and shook her head. "It's probably my piña colada shampoo," she realized, brushing her hair out of her eyes. Fred didn't respond for a minute.  
  
"Piña colada," he said dazedly. It should have been a question, but it was more of a statement. "Fred Weasley, what are you thinking?" Angelina asked, staring into his eyes trying to figure him out.  
  
"Piña colada," he repeated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Angelina and Alicia looked at him in confusion, but George suddenly looked like he understood. "Brilliant!" he said, clapping Fred on the shoulder, "Bloody brilliant!"  
  
"Oh, just tell us what you're on about!" Alicia exclaimed, sick of not understanding what the twins were talking about. Fred grinned the same grin he always got right before he played a great prank. It was also the same grin that came before he got a week's worth of detention from McGonagall for 'unseemly disruptions' in Transfiguration.  
  
"Do any of you remember the party we had at my house over the summer? The one where we turned the backyard into a beach and served piña coladas?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. The two girls nodded, not really seeing where he was going. "Well, do you remember Bill and the piña coladas?" he continued impishly.  
  
It took a minute, but it eventually dawned on them what Fred was talking about. "You mean when Bill was trying to spike Percy's piña colada and he accidentally spiked his own and got totally sloshed and made a complete fool of himself and Fleur wouldn't speak to him for the rest of the evening?" Angelina asked, summarizing the story.  
  
Fred and George nodded together. "Well, what do you say we add a little spice to this shindig?" Fred asked, sounding completely ridiculous. "As stupid as you sound, and your idea is, I'm in if everyone else is," Alicia was the first to agree. Angelina and George, after thinking about it for a second, agreed as well.  
  
"Can I ask who we're targeting?" George asked, taking in all the people in the Great Hall and realizing that it would be better to tackle one or two than the whole crowd. Fred had to think about that. His one weakness in pranking was sometimes not thinking his ideas fully through before announcing them.  
  
"Well, I don't think it would be a good idea to go after Snape after what he went through already. He might rather kill us than give us detention as punishment. But it would be way more fun to go after an adult than a kid," Fred pointed out. He was right, though. Seeing someone like McGonagall drunk would be so much funnier than seeing someone like Harry drunk. It would be more unexpected.  
  
"A professor or a guest?" Alicia asked, getting into the fun. It was a good question. Although both Fred and George would have loved to get Lucius Malfoy back for all the times he'd insulted their father, they knew that that was not a smart move. "I think a professor would be funny," chipped in Angelina, "Not McGonagall, though, because she'd give us detention for ages. I'd rather not get more than a week."  
  
Suddenly, the perfect answer dawned on them. It would be unexpected and funny, but they would probably get a less serious punishment. "Professor Lupin," Fred said naughtily. The other three nodded. "Perfect," they agreed, "Should be interesting."  
  
The soon-to-be prank target and his crazy best friend were over at the punch bowl while all this was going on. "What are *you* doing here?" Lucius asked disdainfully, taking a sip of champagne. Sirius was reluctant to make a comeback now that he was actually over here. He was full of talk, but he'd rather spice up the dance while retaining all his limbs.  
  
"I'm *here* to get some *champagne*," he said coolly. Lucius looked at Cissa, and they both laughed. "Lupin, you're actually planning on letting Black drink champagne? Is that really in your best judgment after what happened during I Never?" Cissa asked, looking at Sirius with contempt.  
  
Sirius made a face. He had never liked Cissa. She had always been such a snob, and marrying Lucius had only intensified it. "What exactly happened during I Never?" Lucius asked, curious about any embarrassing information on Sirius. Cissa grinned. "Sirius had a few too many shots and got so drunk Lupin had to piggyback him down the hall," she said, sniggering as she remembered it.  
  
Sirius burst out laughing. "Aw Remmie, I forgot about getting a piggyback," he said, "Don't worry, I won't get so drunk you'll have to piggyback me this time." Remmie eyed him warningly. "You won't get drunk at all," he said, picking up a bottle of champagne and pouring some into a glass, "I'm trusting you, Sirius. I know you can handle one glass."  
  
Lucius and Cissa exchanged glances. They had had enough experience to know that trusting Sirius was never a smart idea. "Well, if you're planning on hanging around the punch bowl, then we're certainly not. We'll be talking to Snape. If you do anything embarrassing that would make great blackmail, come on over. If not, do us a favor and don't bother us," Lucius said, flipping his hair as he took Cissa's arm and they walked off.  
  
"Remmie, aren't you going to have any champagne?" Sirius asked, noting that he hadn't poured himself any. Lupin shook his head, and Sirius rolled his eyes. "Oh come on Remmie, don't be a party pooper," he said, making Lupin feel as if he was having déjà vu, "Just have one glass. You know you can handle one glass!"  
  
Sighing, Remmie decided there was no use arguing with him. One glass of champagne couldn't hurt anyone. Besides, it wasn't like having a glass of champagne himself would influence how trashed Sirius got.  
  
In a secluded corner of the Great Hall, Snape and Ally were standing trying to remain inconspicuous. Neither of them had their wands on them, so they couldn't summon any clothes. And it would be far too embarrassing to ask anyone else to do it for them. That meant Ally was stuck in the slip to her dress, and all Sevvie had to wear was his makeshift sheet-toga. Without it, he would certainly be in trouble.  
  
"Sevvie, Ally, how have you been?" Lucius asked as he and Cissa breezed over to them. Ally smiled briefly at Cissa, but Sevvie glared at Lucius almost as evilly as he often looked at certain Gryffindors. "What?" Lucius asked resentfully, taking another sip of champagne and giving Sevvie what he intended to be a winning half-smile.  
  
Of course, Sevvie being Sevvie, it had no effect on him. "What?" he spat in shock, "You think you can just summon your boxers right off me in front of almost the entire school, forcing me to wear a sheet-toga, and then waltz over here and act like everything is okay?"  
  
"They were my boxers in the first place!" Lucius argued, resisting the urge to take them out of his pocket and slap Sevvie across the face with them, just for fun. "What kind of man wears that kind of boxers, anyway?" Snape pointed out, shaking his head.  
  
Lucius gaped at him, insulted as he always was when people said anything bad about his style. It was something he prided himself on almost as much as he did his hair, and he always got very distraught when it was criticized. Cissa had learned this over the years, but Sevvie had either never caught on or decided to ignore it.  
  
"Look, Lucius honey, Sev obviously isn't in the mood to talk," Cissa put in, trying to avoid a huge scene in front of everyone, "Why don't we just go back to your room?" Lucius was all set to agree, but Sevvie shook his head vehemently. "No!" he said nervously, "I mean, no that's not a good idea. I mean, how about Ally and I go back to the room instead."  
  
There was no way Lucius was going to agree to that though, even if it was solely because it was what Sevvie wanted. "No. If we can't go back to the room, then neither can you," he said, sounding very spoiled and immature.  
  
"For Merlin's sake, Lucius, you are impossible," Snape retorted. Lucius mimicked him, making both Cissa and Ally start to laugh. "Are you making fun of me?" he asked indignantly.  
  
The two girls shook their heads. "You know what, let's compromise," Ally suggested tentatively, "Why don't we all go back to your room?" Cissa agreed, and after some persuading, Lucius and Sevvie relented too. They started walking toward the doors, Sevvie blushing and holding his toga tightly around him.  
  
Just as they were about to leave to go down to Snape's dungeon room, however, Professor Dumbledore managed to stroll right in front of them, blocking their exit. "Excuse me," Lucius said coolly, trying (and failing) to brush the Headmaster aside.  
  
"Yes, excuse you," Dumbledore chuckled, not moving in the slightest, "If I might be so bold as to make a request. As you can see, most of the school is now in the Great Hall. I think it would be in everyone's best interest if you would all just stay, mingle, and keep an eye on things. Would you do that?"  
  
Lucius refrained from cursing the Headmaster for ruining his fun (or slapping him across the face with his boxers), but he was certainly thinking about it in his head. "Of course we would," he said, gritting his teeth and smiling so that he wouldn't lose his reputation as a respectable school governor. Of course, the Too Sexy boxers couldn't have helped him much, but he didn't want any further damage done.  
  
"Excellent!" Dumbledore said, clapping his hands, "I appreciate your cooperation. Thank you." Snape managed a small smile. "Not at all," he said, turning on his heel and walking back towards his corner with Ally, Cissa, and Lucius following behind. 


	50. Crazy

A/N- Sorry about the really long wait. I know it was long, but midterms were not exactly a picnic, and then I was in after-midterm tired mode. Oh well, at least I survived. Here's the next chapter. R/R because THIS CHAPTER IS **THE BIG 5-0!!** PARTY TIME!!  
  
"Are you crazy? You want me to *what*?" Draco asked Harry and Ginny incredulously. Ginny smiled at him, hoping that he would agree to their plan. Really, she was sick of arguing with Harry over ways to get Ron and Hermione together (just like Harry was).  
  
But she was trying to be a good sister, and even if Ron couldn't quite see how much he liked Hermione, she could. And Hermione really needed a boyfriend. It wasn't humanly possible to study as much as she did and remain sane.  
  
"Come on, Malfoy," Harry said, almost begging, "all you have to do is tell Ron what a loser coward he is and then just hint a little bit that he might have some competition. It wouldn't be that painful, really."  
  
"Wouldn't be that painful?" Draco repeated in disbelief, "You're asking me to pretend that I might have a little thing for Granger!" Ginny bit her lip. It did seem like a ridiculous request when he put it that way. Malfoy was the last person who would be expected to do that. "Please? This is really important to both of us. And even you have to admit the two of them would make a cute couple," she said.  
  
Draco nodded, considering the thought. He did realize that the two of them would make a good couple. However, if he helped Harry and Ginny hook them up, then he wouldn't get to make fun of the fact that they weren't a couple anymore. But then again, that would enable him to make fun of the fact that they would be a couple. Trying to be evil could be so confusing sometimes.  
  
"Well, alright," Draco said, causing Harry and Ginny to look both happy and very shocked. Then he continued with, "But only if you swear to pay me back. Because you will certainly owe me."  
  
It was spoken like a true Malfoy. But not having much choice, Harry and Ginny agreed, really hoping that whatever Draco had them do as payback, it wouldn't be too awful. "Thank you so much," Ginny said, while Harry remained a little sullen that they had had to turn to Malfoy for help. "Oh don't worry," Malfoy said, a smirk on his face, "It's not a problem at all."  
  
Ginny wasn't the only Weasley getting a bad deal. "But Professor Dumbledore, you have *more* than enough chaperones in the Great Hall. I *know* that just about the entire school is in here, but I mean, I've never taken off duty in my entire school career! Would it be so hard—" Percy tried to reason, begging Professor Dumbledore to let him (and Penny) leave the Great Hall.  
  
"Yes Percy, it would be so hard," Professor Dumbledore cut him off, a twinkle in his eye (the man was always up to something), "I would really appreciate if you and Penny would stay here to keep and eye on things for a little while. I promise, as soon as I feel the room is completely under control, I will let the two of you off duty."  
  
Penny nodded understandingly. The last thing she wanted to do was pick a fight with the Headmaster. It was hard for Percy to agree to this, though. First of all, he thought he was more than entitled to a break after his constant service to the school throughout the year. And second of all, the chances that the Great Hall would ever be under control with Fred, George, and Sirius all in the same room was very unlikely.  
  
"Thank you very much, Percy," Professor Dumbledore said happily, when Percy didn't voice his opinion (which was a first), "I promise, you will not have to remain here indefinitely. Just for a little while."  
  
Accepting his words, Percy and Penny walked off to an area of chairs near the dance floor. "We'll get out of here eventually," Percy promised, more to himself than to Penny. But she appreciated it all the same. It was nice to know that Percy cared. Of course, he always had, but he had finally realized that it helped to show it.  
  
"Hey, do you want to dance?" Penny asked him as a slower song began to play. Percy agreed instantly, and they went out on the floor. Luckily, they were on the other side of the room from where Fred and George were dancing with their dates. If they had been closer to them, they would probably have never heard the end of it.  
  
However, Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia were too involved in their planning to really notice the people around them anyway. "Okay, the plan sounds foolproof to me, which is good because it's going to involve a bunch of fools," Alicia said after Fred had run through it, "I can think of just one problem. Where are we supposed to get something to spike Lupin's drink with?"  
  
"Duh, we can just summon it up from the kitchen," George said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Fred shook his head, laughing. "George, George," he said, feigning disappointment, "As the brains of this operation, I am appalled at the way you obviously did not think before you spoke. Don't you know that if a bottle of rum comes flying through the air, people are going to notice?"  
  
George slapped his head as Fred pointed out the flaw in his plans. But before he could admit that he had been wrong, he realized what else Fred had said. "Hey! Since when are you the brains of the operation?" he asked indignantly. "Yeah, since when?" Alicia asked.  
  
"I was just kidding!" he said, holding up his hands, "Just kidding!" Angelina raised an eyebrow. Fred never said anything unless he at least halfway believed it. "Okay," she said, "If you were just kidding, then what do you think about me being the 'brains of the operation' this time? I mean, it's only fair, right? And if you were just kidding, then it shouldn't really matter, right?"  
  
George and Alicia had to laugh at that. From being Fred's girlfriend, Angelina had picked up a few things. Beating Fred at his own game was one of them. And she had, because Fred really only had one possible answer. "Sure," he said good-naturedly, "Go right ahead." It was really no problem; they though very similarly, and she would do a good job. Besides, Fred always appreciated a good comeback.  
  
"Great then," she said, looking excited, "Let's go down to the kitchens and borrow some rum. Because you were right, Fred, people are definitely going to notice a bottle of rum flying through the air. We'll just have to get it by hand."  
  
They were right in doing that, because most people would have definitely been surprised and a little confused to see rum flying. But not Sirius, over at the refreshment table. It would have been a welcome sight to him. He had already polished off his glass of champagne, and was disappointed that Lupin was sticking to his word by not letting him have another one.  
  
"Sirius, come on. You had your glass of champagne. Why don't we go do something else? I know there are other things to do at the dance besides drink champagne," Remmie reasoned logically. But of course, Sirius had never been big on logic. He tried to do what he wanted when he wanted, and more often than not logic only got in the way.  
  
"But Remmie, champagne is the most *fun* thing to do!" he whined, making Lupin roll his eyes, "Well, on second thought, maybe not the *most* fun, but it's what I want to do right now! How am I supposed to play a kick-ass prank on Lucius if I'm not ready for anything?"  
  
Remmie grit his teeth and tried to think of a sensible answer. It was sometimes really hard to be logical around Sirius. He somehow managed to squeeze all the logic out of everything rational and while making even the craziest things make sense.  
  
"Well I would say you shouldn't play a prank on him at all, but after all his dumb jokes he definitely deserves it. But I still say you don't need any more champagne," he said, pointing out the obvious.  
  
It wasn't that Sirius had a low tolerance for alcohol. Well, maybe it was. Now Lupin was just confusing himself, so he decided to just stop thinking about it. "No, the answer is no, don't you dare ask me again," he said, almost laughing at how ridiculous he sounded.  
  
Sirius looked at the ground, pretending to be very upset. "Aw, come on Remmie, don't be a party pooper. I'm just going to have one more glass. I can definitely handle one more glass," he said definitively. Remmie swore he was having déjà vu.  
  
"Okay, fine. One more. But that's *it,* okay? Promise," he said, giving up and realizing that it was no use arguing. In all situations they had ever been in where they disagreed, Sirius came out on top ninety percent of the time. That helped to explain why he had set the school record for detention.  
  
Sirius knew that well, but that didn't stop him from winning his arguments. "I promise. Thank you, Remmie," he said nicely as he poured himself another glass of champagne. "No problem," Lupin brushed the favor aside. He decided to take the credit now, because he knew Sirius wouldn't be thanking him the next morning.  
  
Unfortunately, not everyone was having quite as good a time as Sirius in the Great Hall. Snape, Ally, Lucius, and Cissa were not exactly having the time of their life after being forced by Dumbledore to stay in the Great Hall as chaperones. Even Percy and Penny didn't have it as bad as they did. Percy wasn't wearing a sheet-toga.  
  
"Lucius," Snape said, trying to disappear into the wall, "would you please do me a favor?" Snape was appalled at himself, but after seeing the looks he got from his students on the walk from the exit back to the farthest corner of the room, he had decided he had no choice but to ask Lucius to remedy the situation.  
  
"Depends on what the favor is," Lucius said, snapping the Too Sexy boxers that he had been clenching in his fist in Snape's face, "Does it have anything to do with your stealing my boxers and then exploiting them in front of the students of Hogwarts?"  
  
Snape, had he had enough color left in him, would have blushed. Instead, he nodded stiffly and looked at the floor. "Would you please summon me some clothes, Lucius?" he mumbled.  
  
"Hmm, let me think about that. You insulted my taste in style. You went through my suitcase. You stole one of my favorite pairs of boxers without permission. You proceeded to show my boxers to most of Hogwarts. You made me look stupid. And THEN, you had the NERVE to insult the boxers that you stole! I'm going to have to say—no. Not a chance, Sev," Lucius drawled.  
  
Snape had expected as much. Lucius wasn't the most traditional best friend. "Oh come on, Lucius! Won't you give him a break?" Ally asked, feeling very bad for Sevvie (and also a little embarrassed at in her own slinky slip). Cissa looked at Ally skeptically. "Come on, Ally, you should enjoy the Toga Man aspect. It's really Sevvie's look," she said, winking at her.  
  
If Sevvie had had his wand, he would have given Cissa a sheet toga of her own to see how she liked it. Of course, if he had had his wand, he wouldn't have been in the situation in the first place. "This is probably Dumbledore's sick, twisted way of getting me back for all the embarrassing things I've done to Gryffindor students. That crazy old man needs to stop eating sherbet lemons," he said, shaking his head.  
  
"Crazy old man?" repeated Dumbledore, sniggering as he coincidentally walking by at exactly the right moment, "You've cut me deep, Severus." Sevvie tried to give him an evil glare, but although he was definitely capable of some seriously angry looks, his evil glare just didn't have the Malfoy power. It didn't get the point across of how annoyed he was that Dumbledore appeared to be trying to ruin his evening.  
  
"Incidentally, Severus," Dumbledore continued almost as if he had read Snape's mind, "I'm not trying to ruin your evening. And this is certainly no sick and twisted idea of mine. It's just that with so many people, I really feel that we should have enough chaperones. Believe me, there are things I'd rather be doing besides staying in the Great Hall, too."  
  
Lucius coughed, and the Headmaster couldn't help noticing that his cough sounded suspiciously like "Professor McGonagall." Laughing, he didn't comment, because he knew that would only spur Lucius to go on. "Just to make it fair on you, Professor Snape, would it make you feel better if I took away the wands of all the people in the school for tonight?" he asked, thinking that it would be the perfect way to cure certain people (like Lucius) of their contemptuous attitudes.  
  
Snape couldn't hide the grin that spread across his face. That was the first good suggestion that he had heard Professor Dumbledore make in a while. "That would make me feel ten times better," he said, adjusting his toga so it was a little bit tighter, "Thank you so much, Headmaster."  
  
"Not at all," Dumbledore said, winking at Snape and Ally before casting the spell, "I'll make an announcement about why I took everyone's wands later. I'm sure most people won't notice for a while anyway. For now, Professor Snape, I'll save you the embarrassment of my telling them."  
  
Halfway across the Great Hall, Ron was still thinking about his jealousy. "Ron, if you're so jealous of everyone else in your family, why don't you do something about it?" Hermione asked wisely. She hated to see Ron think that any of his brothers were even close to as good as he was, but she hesitated to say anything.  
  
She was afraid that if she made any specific suggestions, he might think that she was in love with him. That, of course, would be silly. She liked him, of course, but she was pretty sure it wasn't in that way. He was Ron Weasley, her slightly immature best friend, after all.  
  
"Do what? I can't possibly talk to them about it, and even if I could, I wouldn't! Besides, it wouldn't do any good. They shouldn't have to not have fun just because I don't have a girlfriend," he said, and Hermione was surprised at how much he seemed to mean that. It made her realize that maybe Ron was more mature than she thought.  
  
"Well then why don't you just get a girlfriend?" she asked, in awe that she had just said that. Ron looked at her in surprise. "Oh, that's sensible," he said sarcastically, "You make it sound so easy. I'll have you know it's harder than it sounds."  
  
"Oh really?" Hermione asked, a little annoyed that Ron couldn't just be like other guys and ask out whomever he liked, "Then how come no one else seems to have a problem with it? Harry seems to be doing just fine with Ginny! You seem to be the only one who can't manage!"  
  
Ron's gaze was fixed on the floor all through her little speech. He didn't look up when she was finished. "I'm sorry," she said instantly, realizing that she had come off as a complete jerk, "I'm really sorry, Ron. I didn't mean that; you know I didn't! Ron? Please don't be mad!"  
  
Ron bit his lip. He was really insulted, but he knew that Hermione hadn't meant it the way it had sounded. She was probably upset about something, or tired (since it was fairly late). "Ron, please? Please forgive me?" she asked again in Ron's moment of indecision.  
  
"It's alright," he said, a little sadly, "I know you didn't mean it. But you're right. I do seem to be the only one who can't manage. I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm making everything difficult for myself and for other people too."  
  
Hermione tried to smile, but she felt like crying. Ron was being so nice and mature, and she was being a jerk. "Hermione, maybe you were right about more than me being the only one who can't manage. Maybe I should just get a girlfriend. I just don't think I'd ever have the guts to ask someone out," he pointed out.  
  
"Well you asked me to Hogsmeade, remember? Just ask whoever you like if they'd be your girlfriend," Hermione said, crossing her fingers for good luck behind her back. Suddenly she realized what her crossed fingers meant. "Oh god," she said, "I've been so stupid. I have never been more confused in my life."  
  
Ron looked at her, puzzled, but was too worried about his own problem to wonder what she was thinking. "Alright Hermione, I'll help you with your problem as soon as we're done dealing with mine," he promised, "Now, you're a girl. What would a girl want me to say when I asked her out?"  
  
Hermione closed her eyes, then opened them, fingers still crossed behind her back. "Well," she said, not having to think very hard, "It would make it hard on you to make any sort of long and nerve-racking speech. So I'd just keep it simple."  
  
Ron nodded, taking notes in his head. "Okay, go on," he said encouragingly. "Okay," she continued, almost in a daydream, "Then ask them if you could talk to them for a minute. Take their hand; make it a little romantic. Look into their eyes, and tell them the way you feel about them. Then just ask them to be your girlfriend. And if it goes really well, and if you dare, go in for a kiss."  
  
Ron's eyes widened, but he nodded again. Hermione had never been known to give bad advice before, and he was sure that this wasn't going to be her first time. "Thanks Hermione," he said, really meaning it, "That was really incredible. You know your stuff. Now it's just a matter of me getting up the nerve to do it."  
  
Hermione hoped he would get up the nerve soon, and not for his sake alone. Her fingers were almost losing circulation from her crossing them so tightly. She wanted them uncrossed, whether the result was good or bad. 


	51. The Babe Beneath the Books

A/N- I'm soooo sorry for not updating in just about forever. There is no excuse for me. But what matters is that I'm back now, and will be updating as often as I can. Please R/R!! If you have any requests, feel free to make them. The requested alternate chapter will be coming eventually, but not till I get to the part where it fits in. So anyway, keep reading!  
  
A/N- If you read Not Another Karaoke Contest, know that I will also be updating that soon. As far as When Canon Met Fanon goes, I'm going to do my best so we'll see what happens. R/R!  
  
"Okay, so how do we get in again?" Angelina asked Fred once they had made their way out of the Great Hall and into the kitchens. They were lucky. Had they left much later, Dumbledore would probably have stopped them. "Duh, you tickle the pear," Fred grinned, lightly running his fingers over it in the painting of the fruit bowl.  
  
The painting swung open, and Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia were able to get right through. Immediately, a group of house-elves came jogging up to them, ready to serve. The whole kitchen staff was used to the frequent visits of the Weasley twins. "How is we being of service to you today?" Dobby asked, bowing, "You is wanting to usual sweets?"  
  
Fred shook his head. "No, no thanks Dobby. Not tonight. Actually, could we just borrow a bottle or two of rum? Preferably strong rum?" he asked nonchalantly, pretending that there was nothing unusual about the request.  
  
Dobby was a little surprised, but didn't question. It wasn't his place, and he knew it. He liked freedom, but he was a house-elf at heart, and lived to serve. Quickly, he ran around the corner. When he returned, he held in his hands two bottles of Hogwarts finest rum.  
  
"Thank you very much," Angelina said, taking them out of the elf's hand. "We is happy to serve, as always," Dobby said, bowing again, "You is holding in your hands tow bottles of Hogwarts best rum. Make sure it is used responsibly, as it is very strong. Make sure it is used in very small quantities.  
  
"Don't worry about us, Dobby," George said, winking, "We couldn't get any more responsible if we tried." Dobby wasn't sure he believed him, and he certainly didn't think that giving them rum was in anyone's best interest, but he had no real choice.  
  
"Is you sure you isn't wanting some éclairs?" Dobby asked as the foursome turned to leave. Angelina and Alicia were all set to say "no thanks" and go back to the Great hall to put their plan into action. But Fred and George had stronger sweet teeth.  
  
"We'd love some, Dobby!" Fred said, taking an éclair for each hand. George did the same. Angelina gave Fred a look that showed that she thought it was unnecessary to take advantage of the house-elf hospitality. However, Fred noticed that she didn't say no when Dobby offered her an éclair.  
  
After Alicia had thanked Dobby when she saw that Fred and George hadn't, the four of them left the kitchen. "That went well," Fred commented on their way back to the dance, "I was sure Dobby wasn't going to give us the rum, with us being underage and all." Angelina arched an eyebrow.  
  
"Well can you really blame him? If I was in his position you would be the last person I would trust with two bottles of strong rum," she said, laughing. Fred couldn't blame her. He didn't think he would even have given himself the rum. Of course, it wasn't as if he was planning on drinking it all. They were going to use it to prank Lupin. But if there was a little left over, well, who knew what would happen.  
  
Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor boy's dorm, two more Quidditch players were occupying themselves, happy that they had managed to leave the Great Hall before Dumbledore had decided not to allow it. "Quidditch robes have never looked so sexy," Katie murmured, fingering the silky scarlet fabric of Oliver's uniform as he tied it and sat back down on his bed.  
  
"Thank you," Oliver said, reluctantly breaking his gaze with Katie to admire his own robes, "Yours aren't too bad either." Katie grinned. She had always loved the color red. It looked good on her, but she couldn't help liking it even better on Oliver.  
  
"They only look good on me because the Quidditch captain gets so intense about his game that we end up practicing for hours," she said, winking. Oliver ran his fingers through his hair. "You know you love practice," he grinned.  
  
"Of course I do," Katie said, grabbing his hand, "Because it means when I play the game, I play better." Oliver raised his eyebrows. "You don't need practice, though. You're the best Quidditch player I've ever seen," he admitted, using his free hand to fiddle with the loose bow on the side of her robe.  
  
"Oh no," she protested, looking into his eyes, "You're far better." Oliver shook his head. "There's only one way to settle this," he said simply. "Oh, and what's that?" Katie asked playfully. Oliver looked at her, eyes glinting. "We'll just have to play another round of Quidditch," he said mischievously, tugging on her scarlet robe.  
  
Near the door, which Dumbledore was guarding carefully, Hermione still had her fingers crossed. Ron had no idea what he was doing. His brothers all had girlfriends, Ginny had Harry, and he still found it difficult to work up the courage to ask the girl he liked out. Hermione had, of course, given him good advice. He had expected no less from the smartest witch in his class. But it was up to him to use it, and he had no confidence and couldn't find good enough words.  
  
"Hermione, have you seen Parvati Patil?" he asked hopefully. Hermione looked shocked. She certainly hadn't expected Ron to ask her, but Parvati was known to be extremely flirtatious to put it nicely. In all her honesty with herself, she was very disappointed in him.  
  
"No I haven't Ron, sorry," she said regretfully, "She's probably around somewhere with Lavender and Seamus. You can go look for her if you want, but I think, um, I have some homework to do?" She would have said anything to prevent her from having to watch Ron ask Parvati to be his girlfriend.  
  
Ron shook his head. "Ah, it's not worth it," he decided, "I was just going to ask her some advice, considering she's had a lot of experience with guys, but it's probably better to just try myself. Hermione, can I talk to you for a minute?"  
  
Hermione looked up, suddenly hopeful. She remembered that those words had come directly from her suggestion hardly any time at all ago. She hardly dared to believe it when Ron reached out, almost as if someone was pulling his arm toward her, and took her hand, while looking into her eyes. Ron had never known Hermione's eyes to be such a sparkling blue before.  
  
"Hermione," he began, so nervous that he felt as if at any moment he could start belching up slugs, "I've been really stupid. Everybody else knew it except me, and I just realized it now, thinking about my overly affectionate family. And I didn't have a love life, you know, er, so I just thought of it. Anyway Hermione, the point is that I like you. Erm, I like you a lot. So do you maybe, er, want to be my girlfriend?"  
  
Hermione's eyes widened. She looked down at her hand in Ron's to make sure she hadn't imagined what had just happened. "Ron, I cannot believe you just took my advice for me," she said, blushing crimson and giggling.  
  
Ron looked down at the floor. "It's okay if you don't want to," he said with embarrassment, "I mean, I just thought I'd ask, you know. It was worth a try, right? I'll just go, uh, find Harry and Ginny, hmm?"  
  
"Don't go," Hermione protested, taking his other hand and pulling him closer to her, to both her own and his disbelief, "please. You're amazing, Ron, I was just shocked at how perfect that was. I—I'd love to be your girlfriend."  
  
More shocked than he was when Percy almost gave Lucius Malfoy detention, Ron was at a loss for words. As much as he wanted to think that he totally deserved her, it was difficult. Hermione was so smart and pretty, and a great best friend. She was perfect, and he was, well, Ron Weasley, collector of hand-me-downs.  
  
But that was no longer the case. Now he was Ron Weasley, boyfriend of the most amazing girl at Hogwarts. That was good enough for him. Still at a loss for words, he decided to follow Hermione's advice completely. He didn't really dare, but everything had so far gone well.  
  
"Can I kiss you?" he asked, hoping that in spite of all her logic and sensibility she would say yes. It was a difficult decision for the levelheaded witch. On one hand, they were surrounded by people, and he had just asked her out. On the other hand, no one was really looking at them, and she really wanted to kiss him.  
  
"Okay," she said, following her heart over her brain for one of the first times in her life. Ron was very surprised. Even with all of his hoping, he had never expected her to agree. Only a little awkwardly, he leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. Afraid she would slap him if he attempted to snog her, he started to pull away.  
  
His biggest surprise that night so far was the fact that she pulled him back and really snogged him. "Bloody hell," Ron said dazedly when they broke apart, "That was brilliant!"  
  
Hermione smiled shyly as Ron looked at her in wonder. "Wow," he commented, "You're even crazier than I thought." "I'm going to take that as a compliment, I think," she said, laughing, "So thank you."  
  
That very moment, Professor Dumbledore stepped away from his post at the door and tapped Hermione on the shoulder. He had of course seen the whole thing. As usual, he was in the right place at the right time. "Ten points to Gryffindor," he said, chuckling, "I always knew that beneath the books there was a babe just waiting to break through. Ron, you finally got lucky. Have fun, you two."  
  
With that, he walked back to his post at the door, sniggering to himself. "That man is nuts. Completely bonkers," Ron laughed. Hermione agreed, but she did like the way he had referred to her as a babe. That, combined with the fact that she now had Ron as her boyfriend and she had just snogged him, made her feel better than if she had gotten 112% on all of her exams.  
  
"Do you want to dance?" she asked, more confident than ever. Ron nodded. "Okay," he said, "but I should warn you, I'm an awful dancer." Hermione doubted it. He wouldn't have agreed if he had been completely unfortunate at dancing. "Don't worry about it," she said, smiling as she led Ron out to the dance floor.  
  
At the same time, Draco, Harry, and Ginny were making their way over to Hermione and Ron. They, of course, had no idea what had just happened. The going was extremely slow though, because the crowd in the Great Hall but off the dance floor was now unusually large. "What do you say we stop pushing through this crowd for a while and have a few strawberries?" Draco asked, making it more of a demand than a request as he spotted one of his favorite foods at one of the refreshment tables that lined the walls.  
  
"If it's necessary," Harry relented, very tired of Draco and wishing that he and Ginny could be alone and for once not have to worry about their actions affecting everyone around them. "It's necessary," Draco smirked, popping a strawberry into his mouth, "Now while I'm eating, why don't you fill me in on what exactly you have planned."  
  
Ginny shook her head. She had never met anyone more spoiled and arrogant than Draco. It was amazing that he got away with everything he did. It was even more amazing that they were letting him get away with it all, and spending their dance time with him, trying to fix Ron and Hermione up. What had ever possessed her to suggest involving Draco, she didn't know. She did know, though, that Ron and Hermione were very lucky to have friends like them.  
  
"Like I explained before, all you have to do is push Ron's buttons while acting like you don't entirely hate Hermione. Ron will be inspired not only by your criticism, but by the fact that if he waits to ask her out officially, then he has a chance of losing her to you. It's very easy and not at all painful, if you just follow the plan," she said, laying it out as simply as she could for him.  
  
Draco rolled his eyes. "If I were trying to fix them up, I personally would use blackmail. As they are Weasley and Granger, I'm sure they each have plenty of it," he drawled.  
  
"You're not trying to fix them up; we are," Harry said shortly, "And to be honest, I'm tired of wasting time with you. So if you wouldn't mind, stop eating strawberries and stick to the plan."  
  
If Draco hadn't been looking forward to making Ginny and Harry pay him back for this, he would have walked away right then. But he knew he could think of something that would make them squirm more than many curses as payback. Taking one last strawberry, he allowed them to lead him to where they had left Ron and Hermione, standing by the door.  
  
"They're gone!" Ginny exclaimed, looking around the spot with no success. "That's strange," Harry said, "We couldn't have been gone more than ten minutes." Draco glared at them. "If this was some kind of pointless joke, my father will be hearing about it," he spat. Neither Harry nor Ginny was scared in the least.  
  
"If I were you, I'd try the dance floor," Professor Dumbledore said from nearby, eyes twinkling, "You might be surprised at what you find."  
  
Harry, Ginny, and Draco all looked at him in confusion. Considering that the Headmaster was rarely wrong though, the three of them went to look on the crowded dance floor. Not too far away from them, they spotted Hermione and Ron dancing. Harry would have assumed it was on a dare, but Fred and George were nowhere to be seen, and the two of them were dancing a little too closely for a simple challenge.  
  
"I could be wrong, but judging from the looks on both their faces, I don't think my work is needed anymore," Draco commented, catching what he believed to be a lovesick look in Weasley's eyes.  
  
"As much as I want to know what could have happened in the ten minutes we were gone, I think it's only fair not to bother them now that they finally seem to be together," Ginny said, so happy for the two of them.  
  
"We could always ask Professor Dumbledore," Harry suggested, "He knows everything; I'm sure he'd know this." The Headmaster winked at him. "I wouldn't want to spoil their good news," he said briefly.  
  
Ginny smiled at Harry. "Well if the Ron and Hermione problem is all worked out, do you want to do something else?" she asked, thinking that they could finally spend some time alone together. Harry agreed instantly.  
  
"Don't think this means you don't owe me," Draco informed them coolly. It wasn't fair at all, but Harry and Ginny had expected no less from the Slytherin. "I think I hear Pansy calling you, Malfoy," Harry lied, motioning to where he saw Draco's date drinking a Butterbeer on the other side of the Hall.  
  
"Good point. I should make sure we spend a little quality time together, away from my parents," he decided, strolling away, "I wonder if the Astronomy Tower is empty."  
  
Harry took Ginny's hand as soon as Malfoy had walked away. "I'm so glad Ron finally realized that he and Hermione are perfect for each other," he said, happy for his best friend. "Me too," Ginny said, "I'm sure he hated being the only one without a girlfriend, too. Especially with Fred and George snogging Angelina and Alicia every chance they got."  
  
"Hey, speaking of them, I wonder where they went. I haven't seen them since the spell got taken off," Harry realized, tearing his eyes off Ginny to look around for the twins.  
  
"Oh boy," Ginny said, "Neither have I. And I'm not sure I want to know what they're doing." Harry agreed. Fred and George were hilarious, but he wasn't quite sure he wanted to see what they were up too. "If they're planning a prank though, they're going to have some competition," Harry pointed out, "I've never seen Sirius so uncontrollable. I don't know how long he's planning on listening to Lupin for. It's going to be interesting." 


	52. The Night is Young

A/N- triumphant music I have returned. Boogie down, yo. Yes, sorry doesn't begin to cut it, but what's done is done, and what's done happens to be CHAPTER 52, brought to you by me, BeachBum754. And yes, I've been totally inspired by HBP, but as far as I know there will be no spoilers, seeing as this has to take place before then. So, read on and PLEASE REVIEW! I love seeing those review alert emails, so don't hold back (unless you're flaming, in which case, keep it to yourself.) More to come as soon as I get feedback!

Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia carefully made their way back to the Great Hall, with Fred and George each hiding a bottle of rum in case a professor should have happened to walk by.

"You know," Angelina said, unable to help herself noticing how appealing Fred looked with a feigned serious look on his face, trying to hide the rum but not really caring if they were caught, "are you sure you don't want to just take the rum back to the Common Room and keep it for ourselves? I'm sure we could put it to good use…"

She trailed off, leaving Fred to look back at her and catch the end of her licking her lips. George took notice as well, leaving Alicia to laugh at her friend's transparency. She only wished she had had the idea before her, as the boys were clearly trying their hardest not to let themselves imagine what could happen if they did just that.

The two girls watched anxiously as the twins exchanged looks. It was clear from the pained looks they were giving each other that their two loves, their girlfriends and their pranks were battling it out for which got first priority that night. "That sounds fabulous," Fred began as he gave Angelina a winning smile.

"But," George continued for him, looking at Alicia equally fondly, "If we don't pull a prank to remember, then our astounding legacy of kick-ass pranks, outdone only by the Marauders, will be seriously lacking in the blind-date dance aspect, if you know what I mean."

"So you see," Fred jumped in, before George said something else stupid, "we've got a job to do, an example to set. Plus, do you really want to let Snape and Lucius one-up us? That incident with the Too Sexy boxers couldn't have gone better if we had planned it. We ought to give Dumbledore a gift for that one, I'm serious. Let's play this one prank, get Professor Lupin hammered like a nail, and then, assuming we have enough rum left, we'll take it up to the Astronomy Tower and make this even more of a night to remember. Deal?"

Alicia and Angelina nodded, both unable to hold their laughter for more than a minute or two. "You two are so cute," Alicia commented, not at all upset by their choice, and certainly not surprised by it, "Let's go do it."

George's ears perked up when he heard 'do it,' but he was sadly disappointed when Alicia explained amid giggles, "I was talking about the prank, Weasley." Shaking his head in mock regret, he soon grinned and allowed himself to be pushed down the hall by Fred and Alicia, while Angelina waited further down, impatient to get the prank underway. There was just something about those Weasley boys, and it was just the red hair and freckles, that made them so irresistible.

"Can I help you?" Professor Dumbledore asked, halting them at the door to the Great Hall. Angelina, taking her job as 'brains of the operation' seriously, said, "No, we were just coming back after a quick trip to the Common Room," while the other three looked around, trying to appear inconspicuous.

"Of course," Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling once more, "And am I to presume that those rum-bottle sized lumps under the shirts of Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley are the remnants of a turkey dinner, or were you just bringing me a nightcap, Ms. Johnson?"

Fred saw quickly that she was not going to be able to lie her way out of Dumbledore's all-seeing eyes. With barely a moment to think, he jumped in. "Bloody hell! Professor McGonagall's doing a strip tease!" he yelled, causing several heads nearby to turn to where he was pointing, including immediately Professor Dumbledore, who he distinctly heard muttering something about thongs and sherbet lemons.

Without waiting another moment, he, George, Angelina, and Alicia made a run for it into the chaos of the Great Hall while Professor Dumbledore's head was turned. "That was brilliant, Fred, if I do say so myself," George congratulated his brother, patting the lump under his shirt all the while. Fred smirked, looking very pleased with himself, as Dumbledore now seemed too distracted by the idea of McGonagall doing a strip tease to remember what he had just seen.

"Why thank you, dear brother," Fred said graciously, removing the rum from under his shirt and taking a deep bow. Angelina gave him a playful slap upside the head, though, and he was back into action, saying, "The lady speaks the truth. We have a job to do. So where oh where has good old Remmie gone to?"

While they were scanning the Great Hall for Lupin and Sirius, Sirius was scanning the same place for Lucius and Snape. "So, Remmie, how about a glass of champagne?" he asked, pretending not to be serious in hopes that Lupin would know to take him seriously anyway. Lupin shook his head. He had lost count of how many glasses Sirius had had thus far, but he was sure that it was plenty.

"No way," Lupin protested, steering Sirius away from the table, "Why don't we find something less, um, alcoholic to do, hmm?" Pouting, Sirius slipping out of Remus' grasp, and grabbed a champagne glass from the nearby table. "Well if I can't have any, you should at least have some, right?" he asked, pushing the glass into his Lupin's hand and flashing him a winning smile.

Lupin was torn between pouring the glass over his best friend's head and actually letting him drink it. It was impossible to argue with Sirius. He just knew how to work people, and Lupin was always especially workable in his presence. "Alright. I'll have one more glass, and so can you, okay? But this is your last one," he said warningly, giving Sirius a look that showed he meant business.

No sooner had each of them picked up a glass of champagne than Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia appeared right behind them. It had been a struggle getting through the room, thick with people having a good time, and unwilling to move far apart from each other. And it had been even harder to do it inconspicuously, so that in the unlikely event that Dumbledore managed to get past the image they had conjured up for him of McGonagall, he wouldn't notice them in the midst of the Great Hall.

"Sirius and Professor Lupin," George greeted them enthusiastically, "How goes the night?" Lupin smiled at the intrusion, happy for a chance for both he and Sirius to put down their glasses of champagne momentarily and talk.

"Not bad, not bad," Lupin answered, looking around for Fred. It was very rare to find one Weasley twin without the other, so the fact that George seemed to be there all by himself was quite surprising. George was used to that look of surprise, though, and ended it before Professor Lupin had a chance to turn around and find Fred behind him with Angelina and Alicia.

"He's dancing with his giiirlfriend. Fred can't seem to keep his hands off her lately. You'd swear they were…" George stopped short of saying what he had intended to say, not sure how Professor Lupin would take it. Sirius, though, gave him a wink that showed he knew exactly what he was thinking, and fully supported it. "Dammit Remmie, the things I've missed. You try going around as a great bloody dog. See how you like it when the only offers you're getting are from poodles," Sirius said, provoked by George's implications.

Lupin rolled his eyes. He was used to this kind of complaint from Sirius, but he knew better than to take him seriously. Lupin had been Sirius's right hand man for long enough to know that Sirius could have just about any girl he wanted, if only he put a little effort into it. When he accidentally voiced that opinion, though, Sirius denied it vehemently, and George managed to get the two of them into a heated discussion, buying Fred and the girls a bit more time.

"I'd better pour it," Angelina suggested, taking one of the two bottles that Fred was holding and opening it, "I'm not sure I trust you not to spill." Fred pretended to look put out, but he knew that she was right. His prankster reputation had not come from being coordinated, and the rum they had stolen was strong stuff. It was better if Angelina poured it.

"I hope this is the right glass," she said, taking the one she saw closest to Lupin and pouring a liberal amount into his drink. "Should we pour it into a few others nearby, just in case?" Alicia asked, figuring they might as well use up some of the rum. Though there were four of them, she doubted whether they would be able to drink almost two whole bottles later that night, and so she figured it would be better used if they made it foolproof.

Fred nodded eagerly, and with a look of slight hesitation, Angelina poured it into the smattering of champagne glasses on the table around them. "Oops," she exclaimed in a whisper as she made one glass overflow accidentally.

When they had finished, Alicia gave George a wave from behind Professor Lupin and Sirius. "Well, it's been a lovely chat," George said, smiling mischievously as he waved goodbye to the recipient of their prank and went to rejoin his friends, who had moved a slight distance away so as not to arise suspicion. Lupin and Sirius waved back, bewildered at his quick departure.

Picking up his glass of champagne again, more out of polite habit than a particular desire for the drink, Lupin gave Sirius a disbelieving smile before taking a sip. "Don't give me that poodle business, Sirius Black," he said knowingly, "You know perfectly well you could have any girl in the place. Hell, you could probably have any guy in the place too, if you played your cards right. I'm the only lost dog here, mate. Until you get rejected and I get hit on, if you tell that poodle story again I'll…"

He trailed off, realizing that there was nothing he could say that would faze Sirius, and even if he thought of something, he would never follow through on it. "You'll what, Remmie? Sic Snape on me?" Sirius prompted him gleefully. Lupin was again torn, this time between slapping him and breaking down in laughter.

"No," he said, searching for something better, "I'll take away your champagne!" Sirius looked at him wide eyed and took another swig of the bubbly liquid. "You wouldn't dare," he said, feigning fear, "Besides, you're too scared to drink yours; I don't think you could handle mine too."

"You think so, huh Padfoot? I may not be quite the ladies' man you are, but I can take a drink or two as well as the next wizard," Lupin defended himself. Sirius looked at him defiantly. "Then prove it," he said, picking up another glass of champagne and handing it to him. Lupin took it willingly, and to prove his capability, gulped down almost half the glass at once. He immediately began coughing and spluttering.

"Taste this, Sirius, does that taste like champagne to you?" he asked tentatively. Maybe it was just that he hadn't had much to drink for awhile, but he felt as it was hard liquor, and not champagne, that he was drinking. Sirius, on the other hand, was a connoisseur in the matter, so if anyone would know the difference, he would.

Taking the glass, Sirius took a small sip for probably the first time in his life to taste. Lupin was right, there was definitely something other than champagne in there, and he had a suspicion that that something was some strong rum. Though he hadn't been the brightest wizard in his class, he had not set the school detention record for nothing. Sirius knew how to play a prank or two, and he could put two and two together to realize where exactly Fred Weasley had been when they were talking to George.

The champagne had definitely been spiked, but Sirius wasn't about to tell Lupin that. First of all, then he'd never be able to have any more, and secondly, it was high time Lupin had some drunken fun. It would be like old times. Besides, then Lupin would be more willing to help him with whatever crazy prank he decided to play on Lucius Malfoy.

It was a brilliant plan, actually. Lupin was going to be so much fun drunk. He almost wished he had thought of it. But he did have to give credit where credit was due, and he would have to remember to congratulate Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia later. For now, he was just going to have to talk Remmie into drinking more champagne. It was too bad that he seemed to have misplaced his wand, because it would have been a lot easier to do with magic.

Meanwhile, there was plenty of magic going on on the dance floor without wands. "I still can't believe this is really happening," Hermione said, holding tightly to Ron as if she was sure he was going to disappear right out from under her eyes any second, "I don't know whether I should kick you for not asking me out sooner or kiss you for finally taking a hint."

"I would go for the second thing," Ron squeaked, still incredulous that he had somehow ended up with the smartest, most perfect girl at Hogwarts. Under ordinary circumstances, he never would have dared to suggest the kiss over the kick, but the whole thing felt like a dream, and he was inclined to take advantage of it.

Smiling sweetly, Hermione leaned it and did just that. "You're incredible," Ron said, turning crimson as they both came up for air, "It's like one minute you're this brilliant, careful, model student, and then all of a sudden you're like this, erm, goddess or something!"

Hermione giggled and moved closer to Ron. "Dumbledore was right about the babe beneath the books thing. I feel so much freer, like I can finally do all the things I always wanted to do but never could do without magic or daydreaming," she whispered in Ron's ear, making him turn an even deeper shade of red. He was sure that if she didn't stop being so unbelievably sexy, he was going to explode with happiness. He was going to have to remember to ask one of his brothers if love was always this perfect, or if he and Hermione really had something special.

He took a quick look around to see if any of them were nearby to ask, but the only one he saw was Percy, who was sitting with Penny looking very disgruntled. Something told him that Percy was not the one to ask about a romance-related question, so he continued dancing and resolved to wait until later. Percy, however, had not missed Ron's face as he was scanning the room.

"Penny, is that my brother dancing with Hermione Granger?" he asked, looking from where Ron and Hermione were standing on the dance floor to Penny and back, perplexed. Penny did a double take as well. "When did that happen?" she asked, almost jealous of how closely they were dancing.

"Oh, not too long ago," Professor Dumbledore jumped in, having happened to be right behind them at just the right moment. "Professor, sir, I didn't know you were there," Percy said in shock, giving the headmaster the best smile he could muster under the circumstances of being forced to stay in the Great Hall as a chaperone.

"Yes, yes, I tend to get that reaction a lot," Dumbledore smiled, tipping his hat to the two of them, "Incidentally, have either of you seen Professor McGonagall? I've been meaning to have a few words with her."

Penny giggled, sure she knew what he meant by 'a few words.' Percy, unable to shake off his usual concern about his reputation fully, shook his head in as dignified a manner as he could manage. "No, but if we see her, we'll certainly tell her you were looking for her," he assured him. "Good, good, thank you kindly," the professor responded pleasantly, "And if you do see her, tell her I've found some more sherbet lemons, and to meet me at the door."

Percy and Penny promised that they would. "And do you think we might be able to leave the Great Hall soon?" Percy asked, making Penny smile more than she had when she was made Head Girl. Dumbledore nodded noncommittally, "In good time, Mr. Weasley, not to worry. There'll be plenty of time for all sorts of mischief. The night is young yet."


	53. The Astronomy Tower

A/N- I'm so happy that you all haven't given up on me! Thanks for the reviews, you guys rock! And so I have returned for more madness. You keep up the reviews, and I'll do my best with the chapters. So without further ado, chapter 53!

And so the night was young. But unfortunately, this wasn't good enough for Lucius Malfoy. "Snape, I cannot believe you made that useless old man take away everyone's wand," he snapped, pacing back and forth in front of Sevvie, Ally, and Cissa. Cissa patted his shoulder sympathetically, but he seemed to be inconsolable.

Even Ally seemed to feel a little bit bad that Snape had ruined whatever Lucius had had planned that required his wand that night, but Snape felt no remorse. In fact, he bore a familiar smirk as he said, "Where detention fails, a lack of wand certainly does the trick, Lucius. And why is it so important you have your wand anyway? What did you have planned? A romantic rendezvous with Black, perhaps?"

Lip curling in disgust, Lucius gave his long blonde hair a good flip, and turned angrily towards Snape. "Let it suffice to say that when the Headmaster returns my wand, which I am sure he will shortly, you will be the first on my list to be cursed," he sneered, employing the Malfoy evil glare to good use.

"You know, Lucius, you weren't the only one with plans for tonight," Sevvie pointed out, gesturing towards to the sheet toga that he was still wearing. Cissa sniggered, and Ally blushed, but Lucius just seemed more incensed. "Yes, well, had you not gotten all our wands removed, then perhaps we could all have fulfilled our plans for tonight," he said irritably, "Come on, let's go. I've had enough of this greasy man's company."

Not one for standing up to her husband, Cissa followed his lead, waving a sorry goodbye to Snape and Ally as she went. "We'll be back soon, I'm sure," she mouthed, feeling it her duty to let them know that they weren't completely abandoning them, "Now where are we going, Lucius?"

Lucius spun her around and surprised her with a kiss. "First," he said firmly, "We are going to find Professor Dumbledore and demand that he return my wand. I have powerful connections; I'm sure I can get him to waver a little on his extremely rash and unprovoked decision. And then, then we are going to the Astronomy Tower and make a little magic."

Cissa giggled, sure that that was the corniest thing she had ever heard Lucius say in his life. "Lucius, have you been drinking?" she asked suspiciously, sure that something that sweet and cliché had and would never come out of her husband's mouth unprovoked.

"Just a few glasses of champagne," he admitted, giving his hair another loving flip, "but it's not every day I spend the night in this place, and you know, for old time's sake, right Cissy?" That clinched the fact that he had definitely been drinking for Cissa. He never called her Cissy unless he was totally smashed.

Even though she knew he was smashed, though, she couldn't help feeling as charmed as she had when she had first met him, back when they were at Hogwarts themselves. As much as he was a real pain most of the time, and very high-maintenance, it was for sexy moods like these (and his ravishing good looks) that made Cissa love him. "Alright," she said, giggling like a schoolgirl again, "The Astronomy Tower it is."

Unbeknownst to Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy, quite a few other people in the Great Hall were thinking the same thing. "Malfoy had a point about the Astronomy Tower," Harry said shyly to Ginny, loving the feel of her pressing against him as they danced. Ginny raised her eyebrows at Harry's unusual forwardness, but she had to admit she was pleased. It seemed as if Harry had taken a few tips from Fred and George over the course of the evening.

"Are you serious?" she asked, letting herself blush a little as she looked up into Harry's deep green eyes. He nodded and pulled her a little closer. "And now that Ron and Hermione are off in their own little world, we can do whatever we want," he grinned, feeling very free and very lucky.

Ginny rested her head on Harry's chest for a minute, thinking about how lucky she was that he had finally noticed she existed as more than just Ron's little sister. Just knowing that he wanted to be with her was empowering. It made her feel so grown up, and like she didn't have to listen to every warning that came out of her parents' or Percy's mouth. She loved that feeling.

"Then let's go up to the Astronomy Tower before somebody else gets there first," she said, tugging Harry's hand and leading him towards the door. Tingling with anticipation, Harry allowed himself to be pulled along by the fiery redhead. She may have been a year younger than him, but looking at her, nobody could tell.

At the same time, up in the Gryffindor boy's dorm, Oliver and Katie were thinking along similar lines. "That was the best Quidditch I've ever played," Katie said breathlessly, laying back to lean on Oliver, who was sitting up and running a hand through his now extremely tousled hair. "I'll say," Oliver agreed, kissing Katie on the top of the head and wishing he had a mirror to check his hair.

"Don't you feel like we should do something romantic?" Katie asked, looking up at Oliver surprisingly innocently. Oliver cocked his head to one side. "Like play more Quidditch?" he asked hopefully, stroking Katie's hair.

Katie shook her head, but she was smiling. She was used to Oliver's one track mind. "No, like go stargazing or something," she said, getting starry-eyed herself at the idea, "Yeah, let's go look at the stars, up in the Astronomy Tower. What do you think, Oliver?"

Though it wasn't Quidditch, watching the stars with his girlfriend did sound fun. "Alright, sounds good. But you owe me a game of Quidditch, Katie Bell," he said, ruffling her hair before he got up and started trying to make himself presentable. She assured him that she would follow through.

"Oliver, stop with the hair, I swear you worry about it more than I do," Katie said, rolling her eyes at her boyfriend's obsession. Honestly, though, she didn't really mind. It was kind of cute that he always wanted to look good for her.

After reluctantly agreeing to stop for the time being, Oliver took Katie's waiting hand and led her out of the dorm towards the Astronomy Tower. It had been too long since he had been up there. With all the chaos of the courses he was taken, he hardly had the time at night to go up to the place. So he was perfectly happy to go up there with Katie while he had the chance. Maybe he'd even get lucky, and they could play a game of Quidditch while they were up there.

Katie caught that familiar look on his face though, and shook her head, laughing. "Oliver, the world's not all about Quidditch, you know, of either kind," she said good-naturedly. Oliver pretended to be shocked. "Are you positive?" he asked, feigning desperation as she led the way to the Astronomy Tower, "Because those gorgeous Quidditch robes would look even better on the floor."

Unable to stop her heart from racing as Oliver tried his best to seduce her, Katie tried her best not to rethink her decision simply to watch the stars. Somehow, Oliver always managed to convince her that the world really was all about Quidditch, both as a member of the Gryffindor Quidditch team and otherwise. "Oh alright, just once," she relented, letting Oliver kiss her as they fell back on the soft, hay-covered floor of the most famous hangout for lovers at Hogwarts.

Meanwhile, the champagne was disappearing much faster than it had been intended to when it was laid out in preparation for the Spring Ball. It seemed that once Lupin got past the initial overly strong taste of the rum that Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia had used to spike the champagne, he didn't have such a problem drinking it.

"Whoa there, Remmie," Sirius laughed, rather louder than he would have had he not already had several glasses of the bubbly, "How many glasses is that, mate?" Lupin struggled to remember how many glasses he had had previously through the haze that had settled over his eyes.

"Four, maybe? Five?" Lupin suggested vaguely, holding up three fingers and waving them in Sirius's face. "ME TOO!" Sirius said, excited. He clapped Lupin on the back and grinned. "I'm so proud you finally decided to cut loose, Moony. I always knew you were a man after my own heart," he said, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye.

"Hell yeah," Lupin nodded, proud that Sirius was proud, and inexplicably giddy, "Hey, I wonder where Cissa Malfoy went. That was one hell of a snog she gave me when she was trying to make Lucius jealous earlier tonight." He laughed and licked his lips, grabbing Sirius's hand to keep himself from falling over.

Sirius gave his best friend the sadness puppy-dog eyes he could muster, throwing in a sexy pout as well. "What about our Truth or Dare snog?" he asked, sounding as insulted as he could in spite of his slur, "That was hot times, mate, so freakin' sexy. Like, that Parvati who was my supposed to be my soul mate times ten. Like, sexier than James's Quidditch-tousled hair."

Lupin took a bow and ran a hand through Sirius's hair before letting his arm rest on his shoulder. "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?" he asked, a blush spreading over his face. Whether it was from the alcohol or Sirius's comment, or both, was left for Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia, who were listening for their own entertainment just a few feet away, to determine.

"This worked even better than I thought it would," George said quietly, sniggering as he heard Sirius reminiscing about James Potter's notoriously messy hair. Fred, Angelina, and Alicia agreed completely. "Seriously," Angelina commented, raising her eyebrows as Sirius continued to talk excitedly about their Truth or Dare snog session, "In a minute or two we might have to bring out the hoses, or they're going to be all over each other more than Oliver and Katie at Quidditch practice."

"You sound far too excited about that for your own good, missy," Fred noticed, as Angelina and Alicia giggled in anticipation of the event Angelina had predicted, "We may have to pull the hoses out for you two, in fact." Much to Fred's relief, Sirius and Remus did not start a snogfest in the middle of the Great Hall. However, Angelina and Alicia were not disappointed by the two hot older men, either.

"It's not just you, Remmie, it's like a hot tub in here," they heard Sirius say as he too flushed pink, "I say we cool off with a little sprinkler action." Thinking that he could not have come up with a more brilliant idea had he been sober, he reached for his wand to conjure up some sprinklers.

But Professor Dumbledore had complied with Snape's request, and evened the playing field by removing all the wands from the people attending the ball for the remainder of it. When Sirius reached for his wand, all he found was the inside of his pocket, empty except for, for some odd reason, a pair of smelly socks.

"What the…?" Sirius trailed off, pulling the socks out of his pocket and holding them gingerly, as if they were apt to explode, "My wand's gone, and it's been replaced with a pair of socks!" Lupin giggled girlishly, as did Fred when he heard this from a few feet away. "What did you do?" Alicia asked, rolling her eyes.

Fred smirked. "My feet were just begging to be set free," he admitted, looking down to show that he was inexplicably barefoot, "And may I say, what better place to stash my smelly socks than in the pocket of my younger brother's best friend's totally drunk godfather?" The rest of the group looked at him like he was crazy, but he took it in stride. After all, now he didn't have to carry his socks around, and barefoot was the way to be.

Sirius, though, wasn't particularly concerned with the socks. Throwing them over his shoulder, he completely by accident hit Fred squarely in the face, but he didn't notice. Interestingly enough, Sirius wasn't particularly concerned with the absence of his wand, either. Shrugging easily, he said, "Okay, no sprinklers, then, Remmie. I guess we'll just have to strip down, eh?"

"Sounds hot, or should I say cool," Lupin sniggered, pronouncing his drunken approval of Sirius's idea. "Oh yes, very cool," Sirius agreed, unbuttoning his black button down shirt, and watching with interest as Lupin did the same to his silvery grey one.

"We are SO GOOD!" George exclaimed in a whisper as he watched the two of them stripping down, "What a prank, ladies and gents, what a prank." Fred took a bow and Angelina and Alicia both smiled, but the two girls were too engrossed in the stripping of two of the hottest bachelors in the room to be paying much attention.

After a surprisingly long time (apparently rum impaired the removal of clothes sense as well as that of judgment), Sirius and Lupin were standing right next to the champagne, shirts, undershirts, belts, socks, and shoes in a pile on the floor, and now they were just struggling to remove their pants.

"Well I must say that feels soo much better, Remmie," Sirius pronounced once he had thrown his pants down triumphantly onto the pile of their other clothes, "And those are fabulous boxers, by the way." Sirius looked down, sniggering at Lupin's underwear, which was dark blue with white hearts. "Very understated, very you," he continued with a grin, "That blue is definitely your color."

Lupin thanked him by doing a dance that involved a considerable amount of butt-shaking. "Don't worry, though, Padfoot my man, yours are far better," he admitted shamelessly, taking note of Sirius's red silk boxers, which he dimly remember seeing earlier that night, though he couldn't quite remember when.

"Damn right!" Sirius said proudly, discoing over closer to Remus in a dance that accented his sexy butt. Lupin laughed and pretended to slap it. "Kinky," Fred commented to Angelina, who rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

"We have never been part of a better prank," Alicia remarked, making George pretend to pout. "Well she has a point," Angelina backed her up, getting another glance of Lupin and Sirius half-naked.

After a few minutes of watching Sirius and Lupin's drunk, half-naked antics, other people began to notice. "Ooh, check it out," Parvati Patil whispered to Lavender and Seamus, who were drinking Butterbeers on a break from dancing, "He looks so hot shirtless, doesn't he?" Lavender nodded, much to Seamus's dismay. "Always with the older guys. I mean, come on, Lupin's a werewolf, and he's still hotter than me," he said sulkily.

"Pansy, is that Black and Lupin in their boxers over there?" Draco asked, a look of disgust on his face as his eyes were drawn across the Great Hall to where Sirius and Lupin were pretending to dance, "Red silk boxers? Navy with white hearts? What fairies…"

Pansy reluctantly looked away from Draco's cool gray eyes and ice blonde hair to Sirius and Remus. She was not disappointed though; both men were distinctly appealing in their own ways. "Draco darling, don't you have blue boxers with white hearts? And I know you have red silk boxers, I've seen them more than once," she said tentatively, hoping that he wouldn't be angry with her.

Draco was unable to stop a faint flush from coming over his pale face. "Shut up and kiss me," he said, pulling her into a long, passionate snog in a rather successful attempt to distract her from the fact that he owned almost the same boxers as both Black and Lupin. Immediately forgetting about the two drunken Marauders, Pansy returned the snog with pleasure.

"That was amazing," she whispered in his ear, massaging his neck all the while, "Do you want to continue it up in the Astronomy Tower?" Draco arched a perfectly groomed eyebrow suggestively. "Oh, we can continue a lot more than that up in the Astronomy Tower," he said quietly, pulling her away from the crowd in the Great Hall and towards the open door, "Just you wait."

Ordinarily, Dumbledore would have surely been around to overhear their conversation and make a comment, as was his usual style. But he had been strolling over the lengths of the Great Hall, eagerly searching for Professor McGonagall. "Professor McGonagall, at last!" Dumbledore said when he finally caught up with the head of Gryffindor House, dressed most unlike her usual self in a dazzling dress of red crushed velvet.

"You were looking for me, Headmaster?" she asked, uttering a little giggle that would never have escaped her lips in ordinary circumstances. He nodded, almost gravely, but soon broke into a grin capable of lighting up the whole room. "Yes, Professor, I was wondering if you would be interested in enjoying a few more sherbet lemons, in a purely professional way, as everything seems to have calmed down here in the Great Hall," he said in a would-be casual tone.

Minerva McGonagall had never been more surprised in her life. "That sounds, erm, delightful, sir, but wouldn't it be a bit irresponsible to leave the Great Hall without the proper supervision? And also, I thought that you ran out of sherbet lemons in your office?"

Dumbledore smiled pleasantly, and said, "Well, Minerva, since everything appears to be calm, I think that it would be perfectly acceptable to take a short break from our usual responsibilities. And you are correct; I did use up the supply of sherbet lemons I keep in my office. I do, however, have another stash, which, I believe, is hidden somewhere up in the Astronomy Tower."


	54. A Sirius Snogfest

A/N- W00t. I am so proud that I am still going here. I must say, 54 chapters is muy impressive. So, keep the reviews coming, cuz I just love seeing an inbox full of them. And on with the chappie!

"The Astronomy Tower? Oh Albus!" Professor McGonagall said, sounding half-scandalized, half-pleased, "I hardly think it's appropriate, as role models for the students, and…" She trailed off as the Headmaster put a finger to her lips to silence her. He had always thought the Gryffindor Head of House put a little too much emphasis on rules. She was nowhere near as bad as Professor Snape, but once in a while, she could afford to loosen up a bit.

Sherbet lemons seemed to do just that, and what Professor Dumbledore wanted at the moment was a satisfactorily loose Minerva McGonagall (as well as several more sherbet lemons). So Dumbledore simply had to convince her to join him for a leisurely hour in the Astronomy Tower. Besides, maybe that would deter other students from using the room as the love nest it had earned its fame as.

"Well, as a role model for students, Minerva, I think we could set a good example by using the Astronomy Tower for its intended purpose of viewing the heavens," he said seriously, but McGonagall was sure that she saw him wink at her underneath his half-moon spectacles. She was unable to stop herself from blushing at the twinkle in his eye.

Just as she was about to allow herself to get carried away and follow Dumbledore out of the Great Hall, a familiar, yet most unusually revealed, figure caught her eye from across the hall. "Oh my goodness, is that Sirius Black in his undergarments?" she asked incredulously, looking to Dumbledore to make sure that she wasn't hallucinating.

Dumbledore looked over calmly. Upon seeing the dancing figure in the red silk boxers, he said, "Yes, Minerva, I believe it is. And unless my eyes fail me, which they have yet to do, that is Remus Lupin accompanying him in the navy blue boxers. Hmmm. Perhaps we should put a stop to this before we leave the room?"

Now, though, Professor McGonagall seemed to want to skirt her duty. "Well, yes," she agreed, "But if you attempt to stop them, it's probably only going to turn into more trouble. And I do think we should set an example by erm, viewing the heavens, I think you said?" Shaking his head at her inability to be subtle, Dumbledore laughed.

"I'll just be a moment, Professor," he said, and with that he rushed off across the hall to Sirius and Lupin. Oblivious to the approaching Professor Dumbledore, Sirius and Lupin continued to dance shamelessly. By the time Professor Dumbledore managed to get all the way across the hall to them, a crowd of considerable size had gathered around the two old Marauders.

"Excuse me, pardon me," Dumbledore murmured, slipping through a hole between a group of excited-looking third and fourth year girls until he was right in front of Sirius and Remus. It took a moment for them to notice the Headmaster standing right in front of them, but after a moment both wore identical looks of shock, which didn't much make up for their lack of other clothing.

Lupin flushed with embarrassment at their being discovered dancing in their boxers by probably the single most important wizard ever, but Sirius took it in stride. "Professor, care to dance?" he asked over the music, boogying over to Dumbledore, and offering him a hand. Dumbledore brushed it aside, looking amused.

"Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Somehow, I am not as surprised as I should be," he said, giving them time to stop their energetic dancing before he continued talking, "Would you care to explain yourselves?"

Sirius nodded breathlessly once he saw that Lupin clearly wasn't going to do the talking. "We were just feeling the music, Dumbledore. And it was so damn hot in here, and my wand was gone so we couldn't conjure up some sprinklers, so I suggested we strip, and well, here we are!" he said, thinking this to be sufficient explanation.

"And Remus, you as a Professor at Hogwarts, allowed this to occur, and saw fit to take part in it yourself?" Dumbledore asked, trying not to let his amusement show through. Typically, laughing at this kind of thing made it harder to control, as Dumbledore had learned well from when these two pranksters had been at school.

Lupin, having a low tolerance for alcohol as well as not having had it for awhile, was not quite prepared to answer any question, no less one of this nature from Dumbledore. "Er…I'm going to have to agree with Sirius about the feeling the music," he said, managing to keep a slur out of his words, but still not fooling anyone into thinking that he was sober.

"Well then," said Professor Dumbledore seriously, but he was smiling as he said it, "Let me say, Sirius and Remus, that as entertaining as it may be, this sort of behavior is really not suitable for the Great Hall. Especially not since you are supposed to be adults, and as such acting as models for the students here at Hogwarts."

"Well we are, Dumbledore," Sirius said, gesturing to the crowd that was still watching them intently, "We're demonstrating the proper to kick back and party!"

"So I surmised," Dumbledore laughed good-naturedly, "But I am afraid I must ask you to leave the Great Hall. You are welcome to continue this, for lack of better words, show, elsewhere in the castle. It is just that, I am sorry to say, boxers are inappropriate attire for such a large and public area. I'm sure, though, that you will find that the castle provides excellently for such things in other places."

Lupin nodded, smirking a little as he picked up his clothes to leave the Great Hall. Sirius grinned widely as he did the same. "Good advice, Headmaster, good advice," he said, winking at his old teacher before following Lupin out of the Great Hall, happily aware of the hundreds of eyes on them as they left the room, most of them awestruck teenage girls.

"Where to, mate?" Sirius asked when they had gotten a few feet from the Great Hall and realized that they had no destination. Lupin smiled evilly, a look that was unmistakably interpreted as a brilliant plan. "Let's go hang out in the Astronomy Tower!" he exclaimed, very pleased with his idea.

Sirius was very pleased with it too. Immediately, he grabbed Lupin's hand and started pulling him towards the staircase that would lead them to the tall, roomy tower. "Oooh!" exclaimed Peeves, who had been hanging around the stairs just waiting for an opportunity to sing loudly and be generally as annoying as possible.

"Peevsie, my man!" Sirius greeted the poltergeist, unfazed by his presence, unlike most of the student body of Hogwarts would have been. Peeves laughed raucously when he saw the Sirius was still clutching Remmie's hand in his attempt to get him to the Astronomy Tower fast.

"Oooh!" he exclaimed again, this time following up with a song, "Black and Lupin sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g, first comes love, then comes s-" That was all he managed to get out before Sirius went to draw his wand from his pocket. Peeves looked nervous for a moment, but went right back to his obnoxious singing when he realized that Sirius was, of course, wandless for the night.

"So should I go announce your coming up in the Hogwart's Lurve Shack?" Peeves asked, over-exaggerating the words as they poured unstoppably from his mouth, "Cuz you know, people might want to clear out if you two are doing the nasty, right-o?"

Lupin sniggered at this figure of speech, but was just about tired of Peeves' butting in. "Is that the Bloody Baron?" he asked, pointing to a transparent figure that conveniently enough happened to be passing by not too far away, the only one Peeves tended to listen to. "Ah shoot, ruin my fun," Peeves said, heading in the other direction from the Slytherin ghost, "Well, play nice, kiddies!"

"Ah, Peeves," Sirius said, never one to miss an opportunity to reminisce about his golden years at Hogwarts. He was having a blast now too, of course, but nothing would ever top him, James, Remus, and Peter, in top form as the greatest pranksters known to the wizarding world. Nothing could beat the Marauders. "Well, the Astronomy Tower waits, Remmie!"

"Then let's not keep it waiting," Lupin answered, and they continued their run up the stairs. Finally, out of breath and almost panting, Sirius and Lupin reached the top of the stairs and emerged in front of the famed Astronomy Tower. "To another memorable night!" Sirius said drunkenly, raising an imaginary toast. Lupin echoed his words, and then pushed back the curtain that obscured the otherwise open archway to the tower.

"AHHH!" Katie Bell shrieked from the hay-covered floor, where she and Oliver lay, robes half-hanging off and (up until that point) looking very relaxed and romanced. Oliver got up from the floor and tried to make his hair lay flat before turning to face the two intruders. "What the…?" he trailed off, catching sight of his old Professor and Harry's godfather, breathless and in only their boxers, blue with white hearts for the former and red silk for the latter.

"Oh my…" Katie also seemed to lose her voice after uttering the first two words that came to her mind when she got up and found herself face to face with Sirius and Lupin, "Are we… interrupting something?"

There was a moment of tense silence, and then Sirius and Lupin burst into laughter. "We were just dancing!" Sirius tried to explain, but Oliver and Katie looked doubtful. "No, seriously!" Lupin added, seeing their looks of doubt and managing to respond amid laughs, "And Dumbledore kicked us out of the Great Hall because we were in our boxers because we were too hot, so we came up here to continue the party!"

"But the real question is, what were you two doing, hmm?" Sirius asked, making one of his famous subject changes and causing the couple before them to blush profusely. Katie tried to say something, but again, no words would come out. "Quidditch," Oliver said seriously, causing Sirius and Lupin to break into fresh gales of laughter. "Aw, so cute, innit Remmie?" Sirius couldn't resist commenting.

"You two can totally continue on one side, and we'll stick to the other," Lupin suggested agreeably. Katie looked a little anxious about this, but Oliver couldn't resist. "Sounds like a plan," he said, smiling at the two men before leading Katie across the room and sitting down against a bale of hay that could serve as a bench to stargazers and putting his arm around her.

"I'm waiting, Sirius Black," Lupin said jokingly, putting his arm around his best friend in a perfect imitation of Oliver and Katie, "After all that champagne, the least you can do is-" But what the least Sirius could do was, he didn't find out. Before Lupin could get the words out, Sirius clapped a hand over Remus' mouth and listened hard.

"That laugh, I know I know that laugh," he contemplated as he heard a high-pitched giggle from down the hall, followed by a low, cold voice. Lupin listened hard in the direction Sirius was pointing. "Cissa and Lucius, it's gotta be," he said triumphantly, remembering dimly having heard that same high-pitched giggle earlier in the night, when he had had no choice but to be less than five feet away from his 'soul-mate.'

"Oh man, a Malfoy affair in the Astronomy Tower," Sirius said gleefully, "Just like old times. What say we freak 'em out, pull a Truth or Dare?" Lupin laughed, unable to refuse his best friend's idea. It was all for the good of freaking out the Malfoys, right?

When they could hear the steps of Cissa and Lucius drawing closer, Lupin and Sirius embraced and, for the second time that night, started to snog. As usual, they had to ham it up almost immediately, with moving hands and little moans. Fred and George would have been proud to see their display of the magnificent effects of their prank.

Unfortunately, it was Cissa and Lucius who were going to be the recipients of the prank's effects, not the Weasley twins. "What the hell?" Lucius snapped, looking from Cissa to Lupin and Sirius and back, horrified. Sirius and Lupin broke apart at the exclamation, very pleased with themselves for getting a reaction out of the cold blonde.

"Oh, hey Lucius, Cissa. Nice night, innit?" Lupin said good-naturedly. Cissa arched an eyebrow. "Well it was, until…" she trailed off, hoping her husband would finish the thought for her. He could surely express it much more effectively than she. "Until we walked in here ready to have a good time and came across you two in your boxers, snogging up a storm and ruining the atmosphere!" Lucius supplied, shaking his long blonde locks in disgust.

Sirius grinned, infuriating Mr. Malfoy even more. "It's what we do best," he said proudly, leaving it to the Malfoys to determine if he meant ruining the atmosphere or snogging. After seven years at Hogwarts with the Marauders, Lucius decided it was most likely the latter that he had meant.

"Yeah, thanks for that Dare earlier, Lucius, you turned us on to a new trend," Lupin added, knowing it would make Lucius even angrier if he knew that the Dare had not affected them at all, or worse, affected them positively. "Not a problem," he responded through gritted teeth.

"Ugh, and to think I kissed him," Cissa commented, looking at Lupin with distaste, "After where that tongue's been, Lupin, you're going to have a job getting anyone to snog you again." Lupin didn't seem at all disgruntled by her comment, but whether it was because of the alcohol or because he simply didn't care what she said was anyone's guess.

"Ah, don't worry Cissa, I'll do it," Sirius said, giving Lupin another quick snog for good measure. Lupin, though surprised by this ad lib, did not look displeased. In fact, he decided that he really ought to drink champagne more often, because he found he was really enjoying himself in whatever he did.

"I'll never think of the Astronomy Tower in the same way again," Lucius said with the same horrified expression he had worn upon first entering. "Same here," Cissa echoed, sounding very discontented that this was the case.

"But you know, Lucius," she said in a low, lust-filled voice, "I don't think we should let them ruin our evening. It's just Black and Lupin, after all. Let them go at it like dogs on the far side of the room, we can be mature lovers right here." Luckily for them, both Sirius and Lupin managed to hold their sniggers at Cissa's attempt to seduce her husband. But they didn't have such good self-control when it worked.

"Quite right, Cissy," Lucius said, causing the two Marauders to struggle with their breathing when they heard Mrs. Malfoy's nickname from Lucius' mouth. He pointed to the far corner of the Astronomy Tower, opposite the corner Oliver and Katie were now occupying, and said with his usual sneer, "We'll be over there."

"Have a ball," Sirius said pleasantly, giving Cissa a big wink. "Same to you," she said to her cousin, looking pointedly from him to Lupin and smirking. "Oh I will," Sirius promised her, wishing he had his wand to conjure up a ball to prove his point. Unfortunately, he had to content himself with another wink.

With one last flip of his hair, Lucius glared at Sirius and Lupin and, putting his arm around his wife's waist, led her over to the corner he had just pointed out. Judging by the way his hand slid down his wife's back and a bit lower, he was all but over the snogging episode he had just witnessed.

"Well that was fun," Lupin said, getting his balance back after almost staggering to the ground. "I say we do it again, freak out anyone else who decides to come to this shindig," Sirius suggested, a sparkle of mischief in his eyes, "This could be our fabulous prank of the night, yeah? The official welcoming committee to the Astronomy Tower, all boxers and snogging. Whaddya say, Moony my man?"

"I say," Lupin said, pausing to listen to the sound of footsteps that was once again approaching, "that that sounds like a fabulous plan, Padfoot. And while we're at it, let's see if anyone has any more champagne!"

Sirius nodded his complete agreement. "Well, I'm waiting," he said, opening his arms to embrace Lupin. Sniggering, Lupin returned the hug and started the snogging. "Mmm, yeah," Sirius feigned a moan, running his hands through Lupin's hair.

"What the hell? Sirius Black and Professor Lupin," the cool voice of Draco Malfoy drawled, as he and Pansy Parkinson entered the room. "Yes, what the hell? Draco Malfoy," Sirius echoed, breaking apart from Lupin and catching sight of Pansy's definitely indecent, barely there minidress and the look of horror on Draco's face that seemed so familiar to that of Lucius.

"Yes, what the hell, Draco Malfoy?" a voice so similar to the cool voice of the young Slytherin came from a corner where hay seemed to be flying up as if of its own accord, "What the hell are you doing up in the Astronomy Tower, at this hour, with the Parkinson girl?" Lucius Malfoy stood up from where he had just been otherwise occupied on the floor and glared at his son.

"Father?" Draco asked incredulously, the look of horror on his face turning from simply shock at seeing his Professor and the godfather of his worst enemy engaged in a breathless snog to revulsion at the thought of his parents intruding on his area, and worse, the thought of his parents doing the dirty.

"Well Draco, I'm waiting," Lucius spoke quietly, which was scarier that if he had started yelling, "Because I do not enjoy being interrupted. Well? What the hell are you doing?"

Draco, not so quick on his feet when it was his father he was dealing with, was taking his time to think of answer. "I think," Sirius supplied when it was clear that Draco couldn't think of anything to say, "I think, Lucius, that he was planning on doing the same thing you and my dear cousin Cissa are doing. That whole 'mature lovers' thing was what you said, right Cissa?"

Draco was only more irritated by this when he felt his cheeks twinge pink as Sirius said it. "Is this true, Draco?" Cissa asked, prompting him to answer before Lucius forced him to. Draco nodded, then, emboldened by this admittance, added, "Yeah, Pansy and I are perfectly old enough to enjoy full rights to the Astronomy Tower ourselves. And we're going to. You can't stop us."

Lucius' face turned almost crimson, a startling contrast against his normal pale skin. For a moment, everyone involved thought he was going to explode. Sirius was just waiting for the yelling to begin so he could laugh. But they were all shocked, when the first words out of Lucius' mouth were, "Congratulations, Draco! I always knew my brilliant son would be just like his father. You go for it, Draco. I'm so proud! Just like your mother and me, always at it, always defiant."

He paused for breath, giving Sirius opportunity to burst into laughter, leaving Lupin to try to stop him from choking. Draco, meanwhile, was smiling tentatively, torn between happiness that he didn't seem to be in trouble, and again, disgust at the thought of his parents doing it.

"Yes, Draco, I am extremely proud," Lucius continued after Sirius had quieted down slightly, "However. If I ever catch you up here when I am up here again, you will regret the day you were born." Raising his eyebrows questioningly, Draco couldn't help asking, "Why? What are you going to do? Make me snog Black? Because that would just be wrong, you know."

Lucius shook his head regally. "Oh no," he said, the pleasure he took in what he was about to say clearly audible in his voice, "Your mother and I will make you stay and watch us in action." And with that, he pulled Cissa into a kiss and they fell back on the floor, giving Draco a show that he would be hard-pressed to forget.

"I'm out of here," Draco said, his voice a mixture of forced calm and horror as he grabbed Pansy's hand and dashed for the door, much to the drunken delight of Lupin and Sirius.


	55. Dumbledore's Discovery

A/N- Thanks for sticking with me! I am sticking with it, so please review and make me smile! And coming up, Suck and Blow, as suggested by Michellebelle. Minor slash, but it's all in fun, and it's just a joke (unless you want to take it otherwise if you like RL/SB, in which case be my guest because I might be tempted to too), so don't flame. Now, R/R!

"Oh, good job, Black. You and the werewolf just scarred my son for life with your sickening snog," Lucius said as soon as Draco and Pansy had left the room. Lupin rolled his eyes at Lucius' stupidity. "Yup, it was all our fault, I guess," Sirius said, pretending to feel guilty, "His leaving didn't have anything else to do with your practically mauling your wife, I suppose."

Lucius shook his head, giving Sirius the usual look of disgust he reserved only for Gryffindors. "If you wanna know what I think," Lupin began, but Cissa cut him off, saying, "Actually Remus, we'd prefer NOT to know what you think, as you have clearly lost your mind from that champagne."

Lupin ignored her comment, much to Sirius's glee. "Well if you wanna know what I think, I think our fake snog make Draco question his real sexuality," he said, doing an excellent impression of being serious, "So he had to run off before you two doing it ruined his sexy mental images of Sirius and me doing it."

It took all the self-control Lucius Malfoy had, in addition to his wife's hand on his arm, not slap Lupin across the face. If there was one thing that irritated him almost as much as people insinuating his lack of masculinity, it was people doing the same thing to his son, whom he prided as a remarkably good imitation of himself.

But before Lucius could make a retort, the whole group heard the familiar voice of Draco shouting angrily, and the approach of footsteps. "Stupid…effing…poltergeist!" Draco yelled, making a rude gesture at Peeves as he entered the Astronomy Tower again, Pansy on his arm, "Peeves won't let us leave. He sang a stupid song and chased us back in here. And for some reason, I don't have my wand, so I couldn't do anything about it!"

Sirius looked surprised. "Hey, I'm missing my wand too!" he said, sniggering, "Maybe they went off for a wild night together in the broom closet!" Lupin thought this was the funniest thing ever; Draco, however, looked unamused. "You are so drunk, Black," he drawled, shaking his head at Sirius's immaturity.

"And incidentally, everyone is missing their wand tonight, Professor hears-everything-and-won't-shut-up took them all away to appease stupid Sevvie," Lucius explained, sounding much stupider than he had intended to, probably as a result of the champagne. Sirius's eyes widened. The Malfoys and Pansy braced themselves for a stupid comment, and were not disappointed. "That explains a lot," Sirius said, and he and Lupin promptly burst into snickers.

"This is so unfair!" Draco couldn't stop himself from exclaiming as he caught a look at Pansy's dress, which was still resolutely on, and thanks to Peeves, would not be coming off any time soon. Lucius nodded, feeling his son's pain. This of course only made Draco more disgusted, but no one seemed to care.

"Hey, there are four corners, just go over there," Lupin suggested, pointing to a corner not occupied by Oliver and Katie or Lucius and Cissa, "We won't bother you, we've got plenty to entertain us." It seemed like with each passing minute, Draco wore a deeper look of disgust, this time at the thought of what Lupin and Sirius had to entertain themselves. But he had to admit that it wasn't a bad idea, and kind of the only thing he could do, seeing as Peeves had made it his mission not to let people leave the Astronomy Tower.

Giving Pansy a sideways glance, he saw her nod slightly. "Fine. We'll be over there. But Mum and Dad, you better keep whatever you're doing to yourself, I don't want to hear it. And Black and Lupin, if you come within five feet of us, I'll hex you out the window," he said before realizing that he didn't have a wand to enforce the threat with. "Well, I will once I get my wand back," he added. And with that, he stormed off to the vacant corner, Pansy following eagerly behind.

"It's so sexy the way he calls us Black and Lupin, ya know," Sirius sniggered, pretending to be turned on by Draco's tough talk. "No, you know what's sexy?" Lupin asked, a look of drunken enlightenment on his face, "Pretending to do it, and scaring the next person who comes into this room more than we scared Luscious Lucius."

"Moony, you continue to surprise me," Sirius said, eyes widening at his best friend's suggestion, "Just an hour ago you tell me that you don't want to drink champagne, and now here you are trying to seduce me into the most fabulous prank I'd say we've ever pulled. You are my hero, Remmie, my hero."

Drinking in the supposed brilliance of their plan, Sirius and Lupin were quiet for perhaps the first time that night. Oliver and Katie, Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy, and Draco and Pansy could not have enjoyed that minute and a half of silence more. Unfortunately for them, it didn't last long.

"I hear footsteps, Padfoot. High heels on the lady, I reckon. And she's gotta be walkin' with somebody, but I can't hear the guy walk. My money's on Sevvie and his lovely new lady, you think?" Lupin hypothesized, listening carefully to the footsteps that were now fast approaching. Sirius listened too.

"Ha, imagine the look on Snapey's face if he walked in on us like that," Sirius mused happily, "Let's do it, Remmie!" Without waiting for the go-ahead from the now only slightly more mature one, Sirius pounced on him, pushing Lupin down to the ground under him. Shocked but incredibly amused, Lupin started snogging him, and Sirius pretended to struggle to remove his boxers just as the curtain to the Astronomy Tower slid open.

"Sirius Black, don't you dare pull those boxers down another inch! I have already seen quite enough of you tonight, and I'd rather not add your arse to the list, understand! Now get up, right now, and if I find a student under you, you will be out of this school faster than a Firebolt flies!" Sirius heard a voice yell, sounded particularly angry with him. Much to his dismay, it did not sound like Severus Snape, nor did it sound like his 'soul mate' Professor Sinistra.

Deciding, as only Sirius would, that it would be better to ignore whoever it was than try and talk his way out of it, he continued to snog Lupin senseless. "NOW!" the voice screamed, and this time, Sirius recognized the voice. "Professor McGonagall?" Sirius gulped, standing up to find Gryffindor's Head of House standing over him, looking murderous, as just over her shoulder Albus Dumbledore stood, looking politely puzzled, a look that had long served him in hiding an outbreak of sniggering.

"Hello, Minerva," Lupin weakly greeted his colleague, suddenly wishing that he were much more drunk than he now felt. "Remus Lupin! Oh my heavens, this is ridiculous!" Professor McGonagall stammered, clearly shocked beyond reason. "Well, at least it wasn't a student," Dumbledore supplied, wearing a bemused grin that did nothing to aid McGonagall's shock.

"Right," McGonagall admitted faintly, "Um, Headmaster, what in the world are we to do?" Dumbledore patted her on the shoulder. "Professor McGonagall, calm down. It is not as though we are facing Lord Voldemort at the height of his powers. We have simply caught Sirius and Professor Lupin in a compromising situation. I think we should at least let them explain themselves."

Lupin nodded hopefully. Sirius did the same, though he looked slightly cockier and more amused with himself than hopeful. "Well?" Dumbledore prompted them. Lupin seemed too embarrassed to answer, so Sirius took it upon himself to do the job.

"We were trying to pull off the ultimate prank, Headmaster," he said proudly, "And we thought that you and McGonagall were Snape and Sinistra. So the obvious solution seemed to be, since we were up here and all, to freak Snape out by making him think that what wasn't going on, well, was going on. You know what I mean?"

Dumbledore nodded for him to continue, and McGonagall raised her eyebrows. "No, I don't. Go on," she said, wondering if she really did want them to go on. "Well see, I had this brilliant idea to strip down because it was hot in the Great Hall, which worked out because it helped us play a killer prank on Lucius. So then we came up here and freaked out Lucius, and then we freaked out Malfoy, and then you two came up here, and you weren't Snape! But it was still a kick-ass prank."

"Well I would expect as much from you, Sirius. But Remus? What in the world made you go along with this?" McGonagall asked, finding it hard to believe that, though Sirius and Lupin were best friends, that Lupin would go along such a ludicrous prank. "I…um…" Lupin struggled to explain what had made him to what he did, and found that he wasn't quite sure.

"He…well he…and I…" Sirius began, then paused. He could have snitched on Fred and George, because he had figured out when Lupin had had him taste the champagne that they had spiked it. But that would be like treason, snitching on two fabulous pranksters after his own heart. Besides, he didn't want to make it look like Lupin had been drinking a lot, or like he didn't do anything to stop him. So he did the only other thing he could think to do under the circumstances.

"The fact of the matter is," Sirius began, a roguish smirk already playing his lips, "Remmie and I were just so incredibly attracted to each other that we couldn't take it anymore and being in our boxers already, we decided there was nothing else to do but have hot, passionate, wild sex on this well-loved Astronomy Tower floor and satisfy our long-suppressed urges for each other. And here we are."

"WHAT?" asked the shocked voice of Harry Potter from the floor, and he and Ginny looked up at raven-haired prankster and their DADA professor. They had been on their way into the Astronomy Tower for a rendezvous of their own when they had heard McGonagall yelling and stopped short of the door. But since then, they had been pressed against the curtain listening, and had fallen right through out of sheer surprise when they had heard Sirius's story.

"I couldn't have said it any better, Potter. WHAT?" McGonagall echoed, looking thoroughly scandalized now. Dumbledore was doing his best to put on a stern and disapproving look, but he couldn't help laughing at Sirius's outrageous explanation. Remus looked at Sirius questioningly. "Yes Sirius, what are you on about?" he asked, sounding not quite, but almost as shocked as Harry and McGonagall.

"Ah, don't act so innocent, Remmie, we've been caught. That's right everyone, we're actually sober and hot for each other!" Sirius yelled, sniggering. McGonagall, conservative and strict, seemed speechless. Ginny was more red than Harry had ever seen even Ron. Her cheeks were a perfect match for her flaming red hair. Dumbledore still seemed unfazed, with a twinkle in his eye. Harry, though embarrassed, was not beyond words.

"You're kidding right?" he asked his godfather, meeting his glittering eyes and starting to snigger himself. Sirius shook his head, barely able to keep a straight face. "No, I'm Sirius," he grinned, using what was probably his most overused joke.

"Well, either he's serious or they're both seriously drunk," Professor Dumbledore acknowledged, speaking for the first time with a mischievous shine in his eyes all too reminiscent of the one Sirius was wearing, "But I was under the impression that Remus was too responsible to let himself get drunk, or so he assured me upon taking back his job. Care to fill me in, Remus?"

Before Lupin could say anything, Sirius whispered in his ear that Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia had spiked the punch. It was only fair to give him the option of telling the truth about what had made him come up to the Astronomy Tower. But Sirius knew Remmie well enough to know that he wouldn't snitch on the Weasley twins. He had never told on him and James through all their pranks, and he wouldn't turn in two pranksters like themselves.

Taking a big gulp of air and trying to give himself the nerve to say something, Lupin did what he knew was right. "Well look at the man, Headmaster! If you knew him like I knew him, you wouldn't be able to keep your hands off him either!" He immediately wished he hadn't covered for everyone as his face changed color to match Ginny's.

"Sirius, is this the explanation for those noises I heard from your room when I was staying with you all over the summer?" Harry asked tentatively, amazed and amused by this declaration of love (or lust, or complete BS, he hadn't made up his mind as to which he thought it was yet). "Oh, that," Sirius snickered, shooting Lupin a look, "You weren't supposed to hear those, mate. I always knew I was useless at Silencing Charms. But, no, Harry, those weren't anything to do with this. You're, erm, too young for that story just now, I think."

"OKAY THEN!" Professor McGonagall said, no longer able to contain herself, "That is quite enough! I am going back to the Great Hall, with the hope that there is some sanity left in this castle!" Shooting Sirius and Lupin an appalled look, she marched out of the room, muttering about how some people never change. "Oh dear, I better go after her. Carry on!" Dumbledore smiled, following Professor McGonagall out of the room.

Once Sirius determined that the two older professors were a safe distance down the hall, he turned to Lupin and winked. Then, seeing the looks of confusion still on Harry's and Ginny's faces, he explained, "Just kidding, mates. Best prank ever, you think? Even I didn't see it coming!"

Harry nodded uncertainly, still not sure what to make of Sirius and Lupin. He couldn't help thinking that they were awfully close as far as best friends went. Then again, so were he and Ron, and he wasn't snogging him on off hours. But judging from the way Sirius was doubled over with laughter, and even Professor Lupin was sniggering away, it really had been an unplanned and fabulous prank. Even so, the silence was awkward to break.

"So, anyone up for a game of Suck and Blow?" Ginny asked in a well-done attempt to break the silence. "Hell yes!" Draco shouted from where he and Pansy had been snogging the corner. Amazed at how well her suggestion had gone over, if even Draco was volunteering, Ginny pulled an Ace of Hearts out of her bra, leaving Harry to look shocked and impressed.

She, Harry, Sirius, Lupin, Draco, Pansy, and even Oliver, Katie, Lucius and Cissa formed a circle in the middle of the room. It was a lot easier to have everyone together in the Astronomy Tower, rather than each couple trying to keep their various activities to themselves, or out in the open, as seemed to be the case with Sirius and Lupin. It was going to be an interesting game.


	56. Suck and Blow

A/N- Welcome to another chapter of the one and only Blind Date Harry Potter Style! Coming up next chapter is a continuation of what's going on here, plus some Ron/Hermione action! R/R because reviews rock my socks!

"So Ginny, tell me, how did you happen to have an Ace of Hearts in your bra?" Harry asked, his voice dropping to almost a whisper as he said the last word. Ginny shrugged. "Coincidence," she suggested, not particularly wanting to mention that she had only just learned about Suck and Blow yesterday or the day before from Angelina, Alicia, and Katie at an impromptu Quidditch practice. It had been Katie's idea for her to keep a card in her bra and try and get Harry to play, because at least in her experience it often led to better things. She hadn't bargained on the crowd in the Astronomy Tower, though.

While Harry and Ginny were talking, Sirius had taken the liberty of arranging everyone into a circle. When he was finished, the result was: Pansy, Draco, Harry, Ginny, Sirius, Lupin, Cissa, Lucius, Oliver, Katie. "Yes, I am an evil genius," Sirius smirked, taking a bow and sitting down in between Lupin and Ginny.

Draco rolled his eyes. He had always found Sirius Black a little too cocky for his own good, and also a little too much competition as far as sexiness went. The difference was that Sirius's arrogance was all in fun, where Draco honestly felt that as a Malfoy he was just that much better than everyone else. "Could you _be_ any more annoying?" he drawled, but there was not enough malice in his voice to draw even a flicker of shame from the Marauder.

"Probably, I wouldn't ask," Lupin warned him, sober enough to know that Sirius could, and would, be more annoying if provoked. Sirius nodded. Lupin was, of course, right. Draco shook his head, still wondering if there had been truth to Sirius's shocking revelation about his lust for Lupin. He hoped not. He had already been scarred enough that night.

"Are we going to play, or should Cissa and I go back to our corner?" Lucius asked impatiently, eyeing Ginny Weasley with distaste. As much as he wanted to play Suck and Blow, he did not quite relish the thought of sharing the stage with a blood traitor such as Ginny. "Alright, let's get started then," Ginny said calmly. Ignoring the icy glare the blonde was shooting her, she sucked the card to her lips and passed it easily to Sirius. When the three Gryffindor Chasers had told her about the game, they had not neglected to teach her some technique, and she was pretty damn good.

Sirius, on the other hand, was not so good. He had had more champagne than Remmie, in addition to having a real susceptibility for getting and then staying drunk. Seeing as he tended to act drunk even when he was sober, it didn't really matter. But this tendency didn't exactly help him in a game like this.

"Ah shoot, I dropped it," he said as the card slipped from his lips before Lupin could take it from him. "That means you have to kiss Professor Lupin," Ginny explained, even though Sirius was of course well-versed in the ways of Suck and Blow. Lucius Malfoy rolled his eyes and glared at Sirius. "Exactly what we need, more of Black and Lupin sucking each other's face," he remarked, sure that this would not be the last time he saw the two of them snogging.

"Like Remmie said, we can't keep our hands off each other," Sirius admitted, grinning as he and Lupin had what had to be their tenth snog of the night. Harry and Ginny looked as disgusted as they had the first time. Pansy actually looked somewhat interested, much to Draco's dismay. "Yeah, okay, I could snog some other guy too if I wanted," he said, not enjoying sharing the spotlight with two sexy old Gryffindors, "Let's get on with the game."

"Fine," Sirius sniggered, removing his tongue from Lupin's mouth and handing him the Ace of Hearts, "You better not mess this one up, Remmie, who knows where Cissa's mouth has been tonight." Lupin raised his eyebrows at his best friend in a visible attempt to show the circle he was sure he knew where Cissa's mouth had been, and didn't want any part of it.

Luckily for him, he passed the card to Cissa without a hitch, and she did the same to Lucius. Lucius had a little more trouble with Oliver, who looked so shocked at being up close and personal with Lucius that the icy blonde almost laughed and sent the card flying across the room. The thought of having to snog the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, though, let him keep a straight face and pass the card off to Oliver successfully.

Oliver, though, had less success with Katie. "Dammit!" he exclaimed as the card dropped from his lips before it met Katie's. Harry was pretty sure that his disappointment was only half-hearted, though, and that he had really just wanted another snog from Katie. He got what he wanted, then, when Katie pulled him in with an intense kiss that looked like it was meant for a situation much more private than this.

Harry couldn't help noticing that Ginny was watching the kiss intently. He wondered if she was trying to pick up tips. Not that she needed them, but the littlest Weasley had been getting an awful lot of advice from Angelina, Alicia, and Katie recently. That was the only problem with being the only girl in a family with six older brothers and an extremely over-protective mother, and of course, a Muggle-loving dad who didn't know the first thing about Ginny's romantic interests.

Harry wasn't supposed to know this, of course, but Katie had let it slip to Oliver, who had 'accidentally' told Harry after Quidditch practice once. He couldn't say he minded, though, considering whatever Ginny was learning was working pretty well as far as making him want her went. Not that he was stupid enough to try anything more than a good snog here or there. She was Ron's sister, after all.

While Harry had been musing over Ginny, the card had made its way from Katie to Pansy to Draco, and it was now Harry's turn to take the card. He immediately resented Sirius's placing him next to Malfoy. He had no desire to be that close to Draco Malfoy's face, period. He only hoped that neither of them dropped the card trying to pass it.

For that round, at least, he got his wish, and was able to suck the card from Draco without a problem (other than the look of disgust he got from Draco when their faces were almost touching). Harry was also able to pass the card to Ginny successfully, although he wished that he could have cheated just to taste those strawberry-colored lips again.

The next failure to pass the card came, not surprisingly, with Sirius. Ginny was perfectly competent at the game, but Sirius seemed to be struggling with the concept of _not_ dropping the card. "Argh!" he yelled when he was unable to take it from Ginny, and it fell to the floor.

"Sirius, you really aren't very good at this game," Oliver commented while Sirius was laughing at his most recent failure. Sirius nodded like it was common knowledge. "I know it," he said, shaking his head exasperatedly, "I'm excellent at sucking and blowing, but I can't make it through a damn round of Suck and Blow. Go figure."

"Sirius, you have to kiss her now," Lupin reminded him, obviously very entertained by his comment. "Oh yeah!" Sirius said, having momentarily forgotten. Ginny blushed, and Harry eyed his godfather suspiciously. "Don't get carried away now," he warned him, sweetly protective of his newfound source of happiness, "She's my girlfriend, remember that."

"Harry's right," Lupin agreed, giving Sirius a look that clearly said don't do anything stupid. Lucius sneered. "You just don't want him kissing anyone other than you," he said coolly, leaving Lupin to laugh to himself while Sirius leaned in and kissed Ginny. Harry looked in a distinctly less good mood when they broke apart a minute later, but he had nothing to worry about. From his godfather's wink he could tell that he wasn't now, nor would he ever be, trying to steal Ginny from him.

"Sirius, you have to pass the card to Lupin now," Ginny reminded him. It seemed like he always needed reminding. He definitely had a short attention span. "Oh right!" he said, and promptly dropped it before Lupin even had a chance to get it. Lucius Malfoy had been right about not having seen the last of Sirius and Remus snogging. "You are so bad at this," Remmie shook his head at Sirius's inability to suck and blow the card. It was so funny.

But when Lupin attempted to get Cissa to take the card, it seemed that Sirius's incompetence at the game was rubbing off on him. "Shoot," he muttered, giving her a quick kiss, "Sorry, won't happen again." Cissa nodded, but she didn't look too upset, having already kissed him once this evening.

Lucius, on the other hand, looked extremely angry. "What? It's not like he did anything crazy," Sirius assured him, trying not to laugh and make Lucius even more furious. Unfortunately, anything to do with Sirius Black tended to make Lucius more furious. "Sick. That is sick," he said, looking horrified, "Now if I kiss my own wife, it's like I'm kissing…effing…Sirius!"

"Whoa, you're effing Sirius?" Oliver asked. No one was sure whether he was trying to make Lucius mad, or just missing the point. "NO," Lucius said through gritted teeth, "But Sirius has been snogging Lupin all night, and now Lupin snogged Cissa, so if I snog Cissa, it'll practically be like I'm snogging Sirius!"

While Sirius was finding this particularly amusing, Draco made a great suggestion, "Why don't you just not snog her then?" Lucius looked put out. "Why don't you just shut up?" he retorted, unable to think of a better comeback.

Luckily, Cissa passed Ginny's Ace of Hearts to Lucius without a problem. Lucius, though, wasn't so lucky while passing to Oliver. "Great, just what I need. I feel like Black and Lupin," he said before he quickly snogged Gryffindor's pretty-boy Quidditch Captain.

Oliver looked at him seriously when they broke apart. "Lucius. Can I call you Lucius? Well, Lucius, you don't put enough tongue into it when you're snogging another man. I mean, don't feel bad, you probably haven't done it in awhile, but you have to be more intense, you know what I mean?"

If Lucius looked mad before, that was nothing compared to the fury etched on his face upon hearing Oliver Wood give him advice on kissing other men. "I'll have you know that I am excellent at snogging! No matter who I'm snogging! Just ask Sn— I mean—forget it! Just pass the stupid card," he relented, seeing that no matter what he said, he was going to look like an idiot.

After the episode with Lucius and Oliver, though, the Ace of Hearts made it safely from Oliver to Katie to Pansy, and then to Draco. But as Draco was passing it to Harry, he was unable to hold back a hiccup, and the card fluttered to the floor. Hard as it was to believe, Harry, who had faced more dangers and triumphed than everyone else in the room combined, couldn't catch the card.

"Ouch. I feel for ya, Harry," Sirius consoled him, doing his very best not to laugh at the disgusted looks on both Harry's and Draco's faces, "And mini-Malfoy, you were right. You too can snog some other guy." Draco glared at Sirius. The man couldn't remember to pass the card when it was his turn, but he could remember something Draco had said fifteen minutes ago.

Draco looked at his dad. From his eyes it was clear that he was silently asking, "Do I have to?" Lucius nodded, though he too looked horrified at the idea of his son kissing a Gryffindor, or worse, a Gryffindor boy. But he would have been more horrified if his son came off as a pansy in front of two of his worst enemies from when he was at Hogwarts.

"Pucker up, Potter," Draco drawled reluctantly. Harry rolled his eyes, and Draco put his hand on his jaw and gave him what was, disturbingly enough, one of the better snogs he had had in his life. "Let's never talk about this again, right Potter? And don't tell me you enjoyed it," Draco added, "Because it was the worst snog I ever had in my life."

Anyone who had been looking could have seen that Draco was downright lying, and he had actually enjoyed the kiss quite a bit. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that it was Potter, a Gryffindor, and a boy, he would have gone in for a second. Luckily, no one was looking, and since he certainly wasn't going to tell anyone, no one had to know.

"Don't worry Malfoy, it was my worst snog too," Harry agreed, though he too was, to his horror, lying. Sirius and Lupin exchanged pointed looks, and Harry was sure there was a story he didn't want to hear just waiting to be told. "Okay, let's get on with the game," he said, and picked up the Ace of Hearts from the floor. "Aw but Harry, I have the best story to tell!" Sirius exclaimed, only to have Lupin clap a hand over his mouth, and Harry purposely miss in his attempt to pass the card to Ginny.

The way he grabbed her and started kissing her, it seemed as if his life depended on her. She was his oxygen, and he had to be in her mouth to breathe. "Whoa there, tiger," Sirius sniggered, very obviously proud that his godson seemed to have picked up some of his technique, "Let's give them a little space, all, I don't think they'll be surfacing any time soon."

"If only Weasley could see his sister now. Not so innocent, is she, getting more action than he's got in his life," Draco sneered, moving a few steps back from the happily snogging couple. Harry would have defended his best friend, but he was honestly too engrossed in the kiss he was involved in then, and trying to forget the one he had just experienced, to care.

It was a shame Harry hadn't stopped to answer Malfoy, because just as he was on top of Ginny and things were really getting hot, Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia stumbled into the Astronomy Tower, a near-empty bottle of rum in Fred's hand, and a glazed look in each of their eyes.

"H'lo, all," George slurred, swaying a little where he stood, "Harry Potter, good to see you having a ball, mate." He and Fred did a double take though, when they saw just what Harry was doing, and who he was having a ball with. It was too perfect to be planned when the twins said, in unison, "_What the hell are you two doing_?"


	57. Sleeping Beauty

A/N- Guess who's back…back again and again and again…Chapter 55 has cometh! Warm chocolately goodness be here. Review please? And also, I did a tribute to Dumbledore poem like I did a tribute to Sirius. It's called A Phoenix Song. Please read that and review also? You know you wanna…

A/N- P.S. Sorry this chapter if this chapter is a little weird. I hope its okay. The next one will be better though, more Spin the Bottle and such.

"Fred? George? Oh man, I'm so sorry," Harry said, jumping off the stunned-looking Ginny. Fred and George seemed to be trying to decide whether to murder Harry or give him a pat on the back. "Damn right you are," Fred retorted, "What the hell were you thinking, mate? Ginny is just a sweet, innocent little girl, and there you are corrupting her like she was freakin' Pansy Parkinson!"

"Hey!" Pansy exclaimed, pouting. "Shut up, I want to hear Potter get what's coming to him," Draco said, giving her a disdainful look. Turning away from her sexy red minidress to Harry with surprising ease, he waited to see if Fred and George were going to beat up the Boy Who Lived.

Before the twins got a chance to even think about it, though, Ginny piped in, "Fred, George, shut up! I'm perfectly old enough to have a boyfriend, and I can do what I want. Besides, nobody's better than Harry, and you know it! So either go away and leave me alone, or stop bothering me about being a sweet, innocent little girl!"

"Ah, fine," George shrugged, taking another swig of rum, "We'll stay, if you insist." Sirius looked excited at the prospect of more people joining their game. "Cool, we're playing Suck and Blow. I called assigning seats though. And by the way, nice job spiking the champagne. You two are men after my own heart. Now give me the rest of that rum, I think you've had enough. Besides, you're underage," he added, taking the bottle out of where it now rested in George's hand and taking a long swig.

Lupin almost snorted. "_They've_ had enough? Sirius, you've had more to drink than everyone in the castle combined? Give me that!" he shook his head at Sirius's immaturity, and snatched the bottle out of his hand. Sirius looked shocked the Lupin had had the guts to take the bottle away from him. "Aw, but Remmie…" he began, but Lupin cut him off.

"Don't you _Aw but Remmie_ me. You. Have. Had. Enough," he said seriously, putting the bottle down next to him in the hay. Sirius dove to grab it, but missed, and before he could turn around to pick it up, Draco snatched it off the ground. "Hey, thanks," he said, and he chugged down the remainder of the bottle.

"So, back to the game?" the blonde suggested as the room started swimming before his eyes. Everyone agreed, and Sirius started arranging them back into a circle. Just as he started sitting down himself, two more people showed up. "Don't mind us," Professor Dumbledore smiled, eyes twinkling, "Just came by to grab some sherbet lemons that I believe I left up here. I seem to have used up the other supply I left in Filch's closet."

"Oh heavens, this isn't Spin the Bottle, is it?" Professor McGonagall asked while Dumbledore retraced his steps to find the sherbet lemons, seeing the circle and remembering the game she had played as a schoolgirl. Ginny was brave enough to answer, having already faced the embarrassment of being caught snogging Harry by two of her brothers. "No Professor, this is a game called Suck and Blow," she explained, giggling at the sound of the name of the game.

"Though now that you mention it," Sirius smirked, "Spin the Bottle is not a bad idea. You guys wanna play that instead?" Some people looked skeptical, particularly Lupin and Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy, but most of the others seemed to think it was a good enough idea. "I say we go for it," Draco said, a hint of a slur in his voice.

"Then it's settled," Sirius said, taking charge (it seemed that he was always taking charge, but as no one stopped him, he never saw fit to stop himself), "Hey, Dumbledore, you and McGonagall want to join us?"

He had just been kidding, sure that the two older professors would turn down a request to play such a silly game. But Dumbledore was always full of surprises, and McGonagall seemed to be going along with whatever Dumbledore was doing that night. So when Dumbledore said, "We'd love to," Sirius was left with no choice but to make room for them in the circle.

"Great," Lucius muttered under his breath, "Before I only had the possibility of kissing my wife or that Quidditch freak. Now I could kiss the whole damn circle." Unfortunately for him, Sirius heard his muttering. "That's just how I like it," Sirius said, grinning and sniggering, "The more the merrier, if you know what I mean. Right Remmie?"

Lucius wrinkled his nose at Black's comments, and Lupin laughed at his friend, looking amused. "Let's get to it then," Remmie said, figuring the sooner they started the game, the less time Sirius would have to make himself look stupid. Or so it was in theory.

"Here, we can use the rum bottle," Draco suggested, picking it up from where he had deposited it after draining its contents before. He put it in the middle of the circle, which was considerably larger than it had been before, as it now contained Pansy, Draco, Harry, Ginny, Sirius, Lupin, Cissa, Lucius, Oliver, Katie, Alicia, Angelina, Fred, George, Professor Dumbledore, and Professor McGonagall.

"I wanna go first!" Sirius said, grabbing the rum bottle and giving it a good spin. "If it lands on Lupin," Lucius said irritably, "I'm quitting. I have seen them snog quite enough tonight." Fortunately, the bottle was not facing Remus when it stopped. Unfortunately, it was facing him.

"Oh no way," he said, eyeing Sirius warily, "No way. There is no way I'm snogging him." Sirius pretended to look hurt, but he honestly didn't want to kiss a Malfoy any more than Lucius wanted to kiss him. "You have to," Dumbledore chimed in, "It's the rules."

"If you insist," Sirius sniggered, and he ran over to Lucius and gave him a big kiss. A few seconds later, he broke away and stuck out his tongue. "Gross," he said, returning to his seat. "Lupin, I pity you for having to kiss this man," Lucius retorted, swishing his long blonde hair around his head to try and make himself seem more secure.

"Who's next?" Sirius asked offering the bottle around. No one seemed very keen to take it after what had just happened. "I'll go," Professor Dumbledore finally spoke up, eyes twinkling as he took the bottle from Sirius's hand and gave it a spin.

But the rum bottle wasn't the only thing that was spinning. Down in the Great Hall, Ron's and Hermione's heads were spinning from all their dancing, and how perfect everything seemed to be. "You know, Hermione, I was afraid you liked Harry there for a long time," Ron said, finally voicing something that had been bothering him for a long, "Why'd you pick me and not him? 'Cause I reckon you could have had him if you'd wanted to, before Ginny got to him."

Hermione looked honestly shocked at Ron's question. "First of all, Ron, I don't think I could have had him, even had I wanted him. But I don't want him. I never wanted him. I always wanted you; you were just too big of a prat to notice," she said, giggling.

"Really?" Ron asked incredulously. Having spent much of his time at Hogwarts wishing that he were Harry instead of himself, he was never so happy as when he heard Hermione say that. Hermione nodded earnestly. "Really, Ron. I promise," she said, looking up into his warm brown eyes.

Ron still looked a little skeptical. "Then why'd you hug Harry so much?" he asked, thinking it was better to get everything off his chest now and not have to deal with it later. Hermione laughed. "I hug all my friends, Ron!" she exclaimed, "But my more than friends, I snog."

And then, looking shocked at her own daring, she leaned in and gave him a kiss that topped even the one she had given him earlier, when he had first asked her out. "Bloody hell, Hermione," Ron said when they came up for air, "Bloody hell." Hermione grinned, very proud of herself. "Be quiet and kiss me, Ron Weasley," she said, and they went right back to their snog.

They were perfectly happy to be on the dance floor, snogging like crazy and in their own little world. Unfortunately, Professor Snape tended to make it his mission to ruin such perfect happiness as Ron and Hermione were experiencing.

"My, my, what have we here," Snape sneered, tapping Ron and Hermione each on the shoulder. Somehow, the man managed to look intimidating, even wearing a toga. Neither Ron nor Hermione had ever turned as red as when they broke apart to find their bitter Potions Master standing over them, an evil glare on his face to rival even Lucius Malfoy's.

"We were just…practicing Charms?" Hermione suggested lamely, looking to Ron to make up a better story. "What she means, Professor, sir," Ron gulped, "is that she accidentally cast a charm on me that made my lips stick together, and then, she was trying to get them unstuck by her tongue, because she remembered reading somewhere that that was the only like, Anti-Charm. Yup. That was it."

Snape looked slightly amused, but more like he wanted to curse the two of them for having anywhere near a good time. "Well. Well, I wouldn't have expected this sort of behavior from either of you," he continued evilly, "Weasley because I was pretty sure he'd be forever a virgin, and you, Miss Granger, I didn't think you had it in you. But you two together? I must say, just the thought is extremely entertaining."

Hermione looked appalled at this sort of talk coming from a teacher, and Ron looked highly affronted that Professor Snape thought he'd remain forever a virgin. "Well I suppose it makes sense, with Weasley's father such a Muggle-loving fool, and Miss Granger the classic Mudblood, right?"

Hermione looked ready to slap him when he said this, but Ron didn't have anywhere near as much self control. "Oh yeah? Well…well…" the redhead stammered. Unable to think of a comeback, he didn't the only thing he could think of to do. He reached up, bitch-slapped his Professor, grabbed Hermione's hand and ran as fast as he could out of the Great Hall.

"Oh Ron, that was so sweet," Hermione smiled, giving him a hug. "Well, I'm not going to let anyone insult my girlfriend like that," Ron grinned back, "Besides, I don't really like the idea of being a virgin forever. I wouldn't want to end up a slimy, greasy git like Snape."

"Well, thanks," she said, laughing, "And don't worry Ron, you won't end up like Snape. I wouldn't let you be a virgin forever." Ron's eyes widened. He had never thought he would get a girl like Hermione, and he had never thought he'd get a snog like the one he'd just received. But it was even more of a shock to hear Hermione, the classic good girl, top of the class, top of everything, say something like she had just said.

"Really?" he asked, eager to confirm that she wasn't just kidding. "Really," she said firmly. And with that, she grabbed his hand and they ran up to Gryffindor Tower, past the common room, and up to Harry and Ron's dormitory.

Before either of them knew what was happening, Ron was kissing Hermione onto his bed, or Hermione was kissing Ron onto his bed, but somehow or other, they ended up kissing on Ron's bed. As if the circumstances were just beyond their control, things only escalated from there. Ron's hands were running through Hermione's hair as if of their own accord, and Hermione was running her hands over Ron's back.

"Ron, I'm a little tired…it's late after all, past midnight. Do you think we should slow down a little?" Hermione asked when they stopped for a moment to breathe. She was loving being the bad girl, and certainly loving Ron, but she was still herself. "Yeah, yeah sure," Ron nodded, not really caring what she said, still unable to believe what was happening, "Um, Hermione, I'll be right back, okay?"

She nodded, and he ran out into the common room. Checking briefly to make sure no one was around, he started jumping up and down in a sort of victory dance. "Calm down Weasley," Seamus Finnegan said, poking his head out from where he and Lavender were snogging behind a couch.

"Right, sorry," Ron sniggered, too excited to be embarrassed. He felt so good and free. It was like all his life, he had been waiting for this moment, and now it was finally about to happen. After hearing about it countless times from all his brothers, especially Bill and the twins, now he too would finally get to experience the sort of magic that wands are no use for. Ron Weasley was finally going to become a man. Unfortunately, by the time he ran back to his dormitory, the woman who was supposed to help him make this magic was fast asleep.

"Shoot," he said under his breath when he caught sight of Hermione lying on his bed, exhausted by the late night and the activities it had held for her. Even as he was disappointed about missing his big chance, he couldn't help thinking that Hermione looked beautiful asleep.

Deciding that there would be plenty of other opportunities for them to prove Professor Snape wrong, he gently lifted her off his bed and put her down on Neville's, which was deserted for the time being. That way, when she woke up, he figured she wouldn't think that anything bad had happened. Neville, of course, would be in for a surprise when he returned to the dorm, but Ron decided he could sleep for awhile, and cross that bridge when he came to it.


	58. Spin the Bottle

A/N- What's that I hear? Chapter 58? Yes, I'm still going! It's like the Energizer Bunny or…this is too much fun. Let's have a party when I get to chapter 60. Anyway, enter here but beware of excessive Spin the Bottle nonsense. Review if you please?

A/N- To the anonymous reviewer who said that Penny Clearwater is in Ravenclaw and she went to the wrong place to get dressed up, I know she should have gone there, I promise, she just went with the Gryffindors so that Angelina, Alicia, and Katie could help her get ready. Also, to Dazee Sagittarius, I suck at ages, so just pretend like it all makes sense?

A/N- Also, sorry it took awhile for me to update, my computer crashed and it was sad. R/R!

Dumbledore was apparently stronger than he looked, because the bottle was spinning an unnaturally long time. Finally, though, it stopped. It was pointing, unmistakably, towards Professor McGonagall. "That's a relief," Draco whispered to Pansy, "Imagine one of us having to kiss that old freak."

"I'd rather not," Professor Dumbledore responded, much to Draco's surprise, "Minerva, come here and let me give you a good old-fashioned snog." Blushing, Professor McGonagall leaned over and kissed the Headmaster. And kissed the Headmaster. And they didn't stop. Apparently, all the sexual tension that had been building up between them throughout the night was finally being released through, as Dumbledore had put it, a good old-fashioned snog.

"Somebody stop them," Sirius sniggered, "This is getting ridiculous. Harry, you do it, you're Dumbledore's favorite favorite." Harry wrinkled his nose at the idea of breaking the two professors apart, but he tended to listen to whatever Sirius said, often much more than he should.

"Fine," he whined, and he went over, pulled Dumbledore and McGonagall apart by the hair, and sat back down. Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling again. "Thank you Harry; I needed that," he smiled, patting his snogging partner's hand before putting the bottle in the middle of the circle.

To everyone's surprise, Draco stepped forward to take it. "I'll go," he said, looking hopefully at Pansy, and then against his will stealing a peek at Harry. But when he spun the bottle, it didn't land on either of them. It landed on Ginny Weasley.

The redhead's mouth dropped open in shock. So did Harry's, but his eyes showed more suspicion and anger than shock. "Watch yourself, Malfoy," he muttered under his breath as Draco made his way over to Ginny. He had to exercise all his self-control not to punch Malfoy in the face as he wrapped his arms around Ginny's neck and kissed her with what seemed like a lot of passion.

Harry's eyes were screwed up as though he was in pain the entire time. It would have been bad enough to have Malfoy snog Ginny based purely on the fact that he and Draco hated each other. But having just snogged the boy himself, he knew that, somehow or other, he was an incredible kisser. And he did not exactly relish the thought of Ginny kissing someone who he knew for a fact was a better kisser than he was.

When they broke apart, Draco was panting, and Ginny looked very much the same as Harry had: a mixture of horror and awe. "Not bad for a blood traitor," Draco smirked, thinking that the littlest Weasley had none of the awkwardness and incompetence that the others seemed to possess in great quantities. Ginny too was shocked at Draco's amazing kissing ability. If only he wasn't such a jerk, he would probably be the school Sex God.

"Okay, I feel like I'm being shown up here. I think I'll go next," Oliver said, snatching up the bottle and giving it a spin. To his disappointment, it didn't land on Katie Bell as he had hoped. It didn't even land on Fred or George's girlfriends. It didn't even land on Fred and George! Who it did land on was Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin slut.

"Eww, I don't want to kiss him, he's a Gryffindor," she said, looking at Draco disgustedly. Draco rolled his eyes. "Trust me, you get off easy, babe. I've kissed two Gryffindors already tonight, and one of them was Potter." Pansy nodded, slightly affronted that Draco wasn't pitying her immensely, but she got over it quickly. Oliver was, after all, a great kisser.

"Pleasure doing business with you," he said when the snog was over. Neither one of them looked too grossed out, but Oliver couldn't help wondering where else that sexy pout of Pansy's had been. She had one of the worst reputations at Hogwarts. She may have been a good kisser, but Oliver was glad that he was with Katie and not her.

"I nominate Fred Weasley to go next," he said after a moment's pause, and he handed the bottle to Fred without waiting for his consent. Easy-going and always up for an embarrassing situation, Fred gave the bottle a good spin. "You've gotta be kidding me!" Sirius sniggered, his eyes following the tip of the rum bottle all the way to its tip, which was pointing directly at George Weasley.

"Oh, come on, that's just wrong," Lucius muttered, looking annoyed, "And yet, just what I would expect from a family like the Weasleys." Fred gave him a murderous look. "Excuse me, Mr. Malfoy, but Weasleys happen to rock," he said, laughing, and he moved over to give his twin a snog.

"Gross!" Ginny exclaimed, wrinkling her nose at the sight of two of her brothers kissing. Angelina and Alicia exchanged a look, but whether they were turned on or grossed out, no one was quite sure. "Mooney, have I mentioned lately how much I love these two," Sirius grinned, looking over at Fred and George, "It's hilarious how much they remind me of me. And man, that snog reminded me so much of the time…"

But before Sirius could say exactly what time it reminded him of, Lupin covered his mouth. "I'll go," he said, spinning the bottle in an attempt to distract Sirius from finishing his story. It worked easily. And, to the exasperation if everyone in the room, the bottle landed on Sirius.

"We're gettin' to be old pros at this, huh Remmie?" Sirius said, laughing. The rest of the circle, though, was not so amused. "This had better be the last time," Lucius said, glaring at the two Marauders as though one look from him would reduce them to dust. "I'm sure it will be," Lupin said seriously, though a chuckle was on the verge of escaping his lips.

"Well," Professor Dumbledore said, "Give it a go then, boys, and then we'll let someone else have a turn." Surprised and a little scared that the Headmaster seemed to be so in favor of their kissing, Sirius and Remus turned to each other and snogged once more. As they continued to snog, the rest of the people in circle tried to immerse their eyes in the hay floor in an unsuccessful attempt to distract themselves. But their irritation at the kiss was nothing compared to the look of utter shock on Severus Snape's face when he opened the door and found two of his least favorite people in the world snogging up a storm.

"Sevvie! What the heck are _you _doing at Hogwarts hottest love nest?" Sirius asked, letting his lips leave Lupin's when he caught a glimpse of Snape out of the corner of his eye. Snape eyed him, looking revolted. "Better question, Black," he said coolly, "What are you and Lupin doing snogging the hell out of each other in Hogwarts…err… the Astronomy Tower?"

But his eyes fell on the empty rum bottle and he knew exactly what they were up to. "Oh please. Spin the Bottle? How old are you, twelve?" he asked disdainfully. Professor Dumbledore gave Snape an affronted look. "Spin the Bottle, Professor Snape, is a game for all ages," he said pleasantly, "I, for example, am much older than twelve, and yet here I am taking part in this delightful diversion myself."

Professor Snape shook his head at the Headmaster's foolishness. "Delightful," he repeated sullenly, and turned to leave. "Hold up!" Sirius called out, "You never told us why you came up here!"

"That's because it's none of your business, Black," he snarled, obviously in a very bad mood, "But for the record, I was looking for Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger. I had reason to believe that they were about to do something in the manner of an extremely stupid sexual act, and unfortunately, I felt the compelling urge to stop them."

"Ah, you're just jealous," Sirius sniggered, giving Lupin a wink, "Since we all know you're still a virgin, after all." Snape gave him an icy stare. "I'll have you know, Black, that I am most certainly not jealous. My hatred for Ms. Granger comes close to my hatred for Potter, which is succeeded only by my hatred for you and James. And also…I'm not a virgin."

"Where do I rank in your hate list?" Lupin chipped in, noticing that his name was conspicuously missing. Snape ignored him, leaving Lupin to conclude that he was up there, but not quite in a league with Sirius. "Wait a second…" George Weasley said, a look of revelation dawning on his face, "Ron…and Hermione…extremely stupid sexual act…awww, my little brother's gonna be a man! I'm so proud of him!"

"Eww, that's disgusting," Ginny said, not enjoying the thought of her brother being made a man, by Hermione or otherwise. "We oughta go congratulate him!" Fred said, grinning widely. George, of course, completely agreed. Harry, however, looked alarmed. "I'm not sure Hermione's up for that kind of thing," he said thoughtfully, thinking that Hermione was certainly not the type of girl who would take something like that lightly.

"Why, is Potter jealous?" Draco joined the conversation, giving Harry a falsely knowing look, "Was Granger your backup if Ginny moved on to bigger and better things?" Harry glared at him, hoping that Ginny would be smarter than to let that idea enter her head, since it was not the case at all.

Before he could open his mouth to make a comeback, though, Ginny got up and slapped Draco across the face. "You're just jealous, Malfoy, because I get to kiss Harry whenever I want, and the one kiss you two had turned you on," she said cleverly. Draco was so taken aback the he couldn't even make a comeback.

"Don't you dare make insinuations about my son," Lucius said silkily, looking as if he would have been cursing everything in sight had he had his wand. Professor Dumbledore was suddenly very glad that he had decided to remove everyone's wand to appease Snape. "He doesn't need to insinuate; he's obviously a pansy!" Sirius commented before Lupin could stop him from getting involved.

"He's a pansy? Look at yourself! You just got through kissing Lupin!" Cissa exclaimed, jumping in to defend her son against the cousin she was less than fond of. Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Hey, you've kissed Lupin too tonight, so it's not like I'm the only one, Cissa," he pointed out, aware that it didn't really help his case, but always up for stating the obvious. "Wait a second," Oliver Wood broke in suddenly, "Did Snape say he's not a virgin?"

All eyes turned to face Snape, who was suddenly looking very uncomfortable. "You did say that, Snivelly," Sirius agreed, looking very close to hysterical laughter, "So were you lying, or are you going to tell us who the lucky lady…man…er, thing?...was?" Snape opted not to say anything. He had no desire to reveal such information about his personal life, especially not to this crowd.

"I guess he was lying," Harry said bravely, his hatred for Snape, fueled more than usual by Snape's mention of how much he'd hated Harry's dad, winning over his common sense. Snape glared at Harry, then Sirius, then Oliver, who had brought it up in the first place. "I am _not_ lying," he said forcefully.

"Well then who was it?" Sirius asked again, unable to keep his mouth shut. Resigning himself to the fact that they would never stop asking until he told them, he mumbled the name very quietly under his breath. "What was that, Sev?" Sirius pressed him, unable to make out the name that was so garbled in Snape's attempt to hide who it had been.

Snape sighed. It was clear that he had no choice but to say it. "Narcissa Malfoy," he said bitterly, bracing himself for the verbal tirade he was sure was on its way.


	59. Pink Boxers & a Pensieve

A/N- Party on with chapter 59, coming soon to a computer near you. Have I mentioned lately that I love reviews? And that they make my day? Now don't you want to make my day and R/R?

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, SNAPE?" Lucius exploded, evil glare full force and blonde hair swishing angrily, "CISSA, WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT?" Cissa cowered at the anger radiating from her husband.

Even Snape looked a little afraid. He was instantly sorry he had tried to deny their accusations that he was a virgin. But at least now they couldn't make fun of him for never having done it. "I'm talking about," he said quietly, "That I'm not a virgin. And your wife is the reason for that. Well, part of the reason, anyway."

"Okay, let me rephrase my question," Lucius said, all of his effort seeming to go to keeping himself calm now, "What. the hell. are you talking about? Because to me, this is all coming out of the blue here. Anybody want to back me up on that?"

Professor Dumbledore had been just sitting back and watching up to this point, satisfied to see the entertainment rather than to provide it. But he did so love making fun of Severus Snape…in a good-natured way, of course. And he was always up for something that would entertain the students.

"I agree, Lucius," he said, chuckling, 'It did come as rather a surprise. Perhaps Professor Snape would like to enlighten us as to exactly what happened. Maybe it's not what we think? Maybe it is? There is a way to find out, of course, what truly happened. Might I suggest we dip into the innermost memories of our dear Potions Master?"

Everyone in the room looked at him, a little confused. "Headmaster, if you are suggesting that you read my mind, I am highly offended," Snape snarled, "And other than that, I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"The Pensieve," Professor Dumbledore said simply, "If you put your memory inside, we can all jump in and have a look around. I'm sure that would be a more painless way for you to enlighten Lucius as to what happened, would it not?" Snape looked at the Headmaster extremely skeptically. It would be painless in the sense that he wouldn't have to describe what happened, but worse because everyone would see what had actually happened.

Of course, when he tried to convince himself that it had happened otherwise than it had, it was a great story. Narcissa Malfoy said "I want you more than Lucius," and he himself said "I couldn't agree more," and then they had great sex in the dungeons. But unfortunately for him, that wasn't remotely how it had happened, and no one would believe him if he tried to say it was.

"Fine. Let's do this Pensieve crap and get it over with," he agreed, to the shock of most of the people in the room, "Oh but well, it looks like we don't have a Pensieve up here, I guess we can't do it." Dumbledore shook his head and made a sweeping gesture with his arm, and a Pensieve seemed to appear out of thin air.

"Oh, well I guess you're just too cool for your own rules," Snape said, recalling that Dumbledore had said he would take away everyone's wands. But the old professor shook his head good-naturedly. "No, no, it is simply that, being an experienced wizard, also known in some parts as an old man, I am well acquainted with the tricks of the trade."

Snape decided not to grace him with an answer, and allowed Dumbledore to extract the memory from him, since he did not have a wand on him and therefore could not do it himself. "Well, in we go," Dumbledore smiled, and all seventeen people in the room touched the swirling substance inside the Pensieve and dove headlong into what was undoubtedly going to be a very disturbing memory.

"Professor Snape, would you like to narrate this memory, or shall I?" Dumbledore inquired, a look of amusement clearly etched on his face. "Go right ahead," Snape responded, teeth clenched. He was already humiliated, and nothing had even happened yet. All of a sudden, though, a Severus Snape sixteen years old came into view. "Sexy hair," George Weasley noted, making Professor Snape fume. His hair then looked exactly as it did now: long, black, and greasy.

"This is boring," Fred followed up his brother's comment, "You're just sitting in a chair, you're not even doing anything." At that moment, he caught sight of where Professor Snape's hand was. So did Sirius, and he couldn't resist commenting, "Oh come on, this isn't going to turn R rated yet, is it? Sevvie, tell me you're not feeling yourself up down there, please?"

Snape shook his head in as dignified a manner as he could manage under the circumstances. "No, I'm playing with my wand," he said, ignoring the sniggers that erupted from the entire crowd, "My wand, you morons, the one I cast spells with. I was trying to decide who to curse first, and how best to go about it. People were being very mean to me."

Lucius rolled his eyes. "I wonder why," he said sarcastically, giving Snape another glare for good measure. "Oh look, he's getting up!" Ginny pointed out before Mr. Malfoy could say anything else. The group followed Snape closely as he walked out of the Slytherin common room where he had been sitting, along a corridor, and out to the grounds. It was a beautiful sunny day, yet surprisingly few people were outside enjoying the sunshine.

"You know, we should really be inside studying for our Transfiguration test," they heard a teenage Remus Lupin say from where he was sitting with the other Marauders on the side of the lake, not too far away from where the teenage Snape was standing. "Are you kidding," a young Sirius Black laughed, "Study? Studying is always a waste of time, especially on a gorgeous day like today. So what are we going to do today, Jamesy?"

Harry's breath caught in his throat as the man Sirius had just addressed came into focus. Even though it was not the first time he had seen his dad, it still sent shivers down his spine to see the man who looked so much like him that, with the exception of his eyes, they could be mistaken for each other. "Your dad has the sexiest hair I've ever seen, Harry," Oliver said, noticing the Quidditch-tousled look that James Potter had been famous for.

Harry gave him a confused look, but was saved the trouble of responding by the Marauders continuing to talk, and teenage Snape continuing to listen. "I dunno," James said, obviously thinking, "We could go try to get Lily to go to Hogsmeade with me, or…" Suddenly, his eyes lit up, a brilliant plan forming in his head. "Or," he repeated, nodding satisfactorily, "We could go harass Snivellus about his continuing streak as Hogwarts virgin extraordinaire."

"Extraordinaire?" Peter Pettigrew reiterated, impressed as usual by anything and everything James said or did, "Ooh James, have you been taking French?" Teenage Sirius sniggered at Peter's tendency to worship James. Adult Sirius did the same. Apparently he hadn't changed much over the years.

"French kissing, maybe," James said in a heartbeat. The awed look on Peter's face did not fade away. Sirius sniggered, and Lupin winced. "Hell, I could teach a class in French kissing," Sirius commented, winking at the other three boys. Lupin shook his head. Sometimes he wondered why he was friends with such troublemakers. Then he remembered how entertaining they could be. "Well I could teach a class in French, mes amis, but that doesn't mean I should," he said sensibly. Sirius's ears perked up at Lupin's French. He loved it when his best friend did that.

"I still love it when you speak French, Remmie," the adult Sirius said, grinning. Adult Lupin laughed. "Bon. J'espère que tu l'aime toujours, mon chien," he said, causing Lucius to snort. He had no appreciation for romance, which included the romance languages. "Is anything going to happen, or did Dumbledore take the wrong memory from you just so he could satisfy his sick Marauder-filled fantasies?" Lucius drawled, not remotely interested in the conversations of the people who had been at school and remained now his worst enemies.

Snape was on the verge of slapping Lucius for being so obnoxious when something finally happened in his memory. "I'm right here," young Snape said quietly, approaching the Marauders looking like a vampire who had stepped into the sun by accident, "Do you think I can't hear every word you're saying?"

"Well actually, it may shock you, but we don't care," Sirius snarled back at him. He hated Snape more than just about anything in the world. "In fact, it's better that way. Now you know just what we think about your sex life…or lack of one, Snivellus."

The tension between the two of them was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. "Alright, alright," Lupin cut in, trying to break the ice before one of them tried to curse the other, "We were just kidding, Severus, no hard feelings." Snape shook his head. "Well you'd know a lot about hard feelings, Lupin," he shot back, "Considering you're hard every time Sirius is around you."

"Well at least I get hard!" Lupin yelled at him, then he realized what he was saying, "Wait! I mean…I mean…" He trailed off, unable to think of anything to say to come back from what he had just said. Luckily, James broke in to defend his friend. "What he means is, go eff yourself, Snape," he said harshly, "since you're the only one who'll do you!"

"Shut up, Potter!" Snape spat, but his eyes were, surprisingly, glistening, "Just because you can have anyone you want…I mean, you're just jealous of Black and Lupin…I mean, dammit, I will prove you wrong!"

James rolled his eyes, unfazed by Snape's ranting. Sirius too seemed unfazed. "Whatever Snapie, you do that. But don't come back crying to us when Lucius is too busy brushing his hair to make you a man," the raven-haired boy retorted. "I'll prove you wrong!" Snape repeated, and he ran off to the castle looking mutinous.

The group that was watching was out of breath by the time teenage Snape finally stopped running when he reached the Slytherin common room. Luckily for him, it appeared to be deserted. "Damn Potter and Black and being a virgin!" he shouted, trying to let off steam so he didn't curse the ears off the next person he saw.

"Did you say Black?" Narcissa Malfoy said, surfacing from behind a chair, "What has that stupid boy done now? My cousin is so immature. I'm so sorry, Severus. Is there anything I can do?" Snape was not comforted by her apology, but he couldn't stop himself from thinking that there was in fact something that she could do.

"If you're sorry," he said thoughtfully, "There is one thing you could do. I think maybe they'd leave me alone if I was…you know…not a virgin." The teenage Cissa's eyes widened in shock. "Well," she repeated, "Lucius has been sort of blowing me off lately. And I do hate my cousin, and the other Marauders, come to think of it, with a passion. Besides, I saw your boxers once when I was in your dorm with Lucius, and Sevvie, it takes a real man to wear pink. What the hell, let's do it."

"Really?" Snape asked incredulously. He was sure that Potter or Black was going to pop out of nowhere and say 'gotcha!' but they didn't. Cissa Malfoy was serious. "Alright, let's go," he said, a slight flush of color rising on his normally pale and waxy skin. Together they ran off to Snape's dorm, which was miraculously empty. The group of spectators followed, Lucius looking increasingly angry, Snape more and more embarrassed.

"So this is what you do when I ignore you for ten minutes?" the adult Lucius said angrily, shaking his head at his wife. Cissa was still trying her best not to say anything. It was almost as embarrassing a memory for her as it was for Snape. "Pity sex?" she suggested weakly, trying to ignore the sniggering of the people around her.

Everyone stopped sniggering and started staring, though, when up in the dorm, young Snape and Cissa started taking off their clothes. Not a minute had gone by before Snape had stripped to a pair of pink boxers, and Cissa was wearing just a lacy black bra and underwear.

"Okay, I think we've all seen enough," Dumbledore jumped in, noticing the wandering eyes of several of the men in the crowd. And with that, the seventeen people found themselves back in the Astronomy Tower. "Wow, Mrs. Malfoy, you look _hot_ in your underwear," Oliver Wood said, seeing Draco's mother in a whole new light.

"Wow, thanks, that means so much to me," she drawled, trying to sound indifferent but actually pleased by the comment. "Sevvie, I had no idea you had a pink boxer fetish," Sirius commented after a minute, despite Lupin's attempts to stop him from making the situation worse.

But instead of Snape making a retort, Lucius took it upon himself to respond. "I don't want to hear a word out of you," he said angrily, eyes flashing, "It's your fault Snape slept with my wife in the first place!" Snape nodded, happy for anything that would take the focus and the blame off him and put it on someone else, preferably someone he hated, like Sirius.

"Yup, because I was too damn sexy, right?" Sirius pretended to have a hard time admitting, "You just couldn't take me and James and Remmie sitting there like the sex gods we are, so you had to go make yourself feel better with the first willing chick you found…that being my slutty cousin, apparently."

Cissa glared at him, but was far too used to him and his annoying insults to take him seriously. Snape, on the other hand, had never really gotten used to Sirius. He still found him just as horrible as he had the first time he had met him.

"Well that's it," Snape said, sounding on the verge of screaming, "I have had enough. I am going back to my room and going to bed. Dumbledore, I don't care if you want me to chaperone; Lucius, I don't care if you want to murder me; Black, I don't care if you and Lupin want to go speak French and f. I'm not a virgin, and you know what? I don't give a damn about Weasley screwing Granger! I shouldn't have come up here. Bloody idiots!"

And with that, Snape stormed from the room. "Ouch," Sirius said, apparently unable to keep his mouth shut for even a minute, "Somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed." Lupin slapped him lightly across the face. "Man, you don't know when to keep your mouth shut," he said, but he was laughing.

"You are both ridiculous," Lucius said angrily, "As if I didn't have enough reason to hate you before, now I come to find out that it's your fault my wife had sex with Snape! Cissa…I'm better than him in bed, right?" A reluctant smile spread across Cissa's face. "No comparison," she said proudly, "He had no technique."

A minute later Lupin spoke. "Do you think we should do something about Ron and Hermione?" he asked tentatively, "Severus may be horrible, but he did have a point about feeling compelled to stop them from making a mistake."

Harry nodded his agreement. "Yeah," he said, "chances are Hermione wouldn't appreciate it if she woke up and found out that she was suddenly not a virgin. I'm sure they're in my dorm, since boys aren't allowed in the girls dorms anyway. I guess we should go stop them. I hope we're not too late. Memory-surfing did take awhile."

"Well, if we're too late, we can always congratulate them on finally taking the plunge," Sirius sniggered, leading Lupin, Harry, Fred, George, and Ginny out of the Astronomy Tower and towards the Gryffindor boys dormitories.


	60. More Fluff Than Cotton Candy

A/N- That's right, chapter SIXTY has arrived! Party like it's :checks calendar: August 22, 2005 (well what can I say, it's just not New Years)! Alright, go get some food and party on as the madness continues. And then, make my day and review. More chapters soon to come! Review, review, review!

"Do you think they did it?" Ginny asked, thinking anxiously of the state Hermione would be in the next day if she had done something so huge. Harry shook his head. "She wouldn't. She's much too sensible for that," he said confidently.

Rolling his eyes at Harry's naïveté, Fred explained, "That's the point! Hermione probably hates being thought of as so sensible. She probably did it just to get away from her know-it-all image!" This time it was Lupin who shook his head. "I don't think so…she loved being the smartest witch in her year," he pointed out, but he also thought Fred had a point.

"Well I bet she did it," Sirius said, grinning, "Who would turn down an opportunity like that? Besides, Ron probably knows how to work her like a charm by now. I bet he convinced her like _that_." He snapped his fingers to illustrate the amount of time he thought it had taken Ron to convince her. "Sirius, not everyone is you," Lupin tried unsuccessfully to explain, "_Some _people have some decency."

"I have some decency," Sirius retorted, "The decency to have a good time and not miss a perfectly good opportunity for a shag. It bums people out, you know, when you throw away an easy chance." "Besides," George added, "Ron's been watching Fred, Bill, and me have fabulous, shag-tastic relationships for ages. I can't see him passing up the opportunity to try and match us."

"You guys are crazy," Ginny giggled. She still blushed whenever a shag was mentioned. It was especially funny to hear Sirius say it. "But I think Harry's probably right. Hermione wouldn't do something like that lightly. I mean, she and Ron have liked each other for ages, but they only just got together tonight. It seems unrealistic."

Sirius seemed to be having trouble not vocalizing his opinions on the joys of shagging, but he was trying his hardest by not commenting on what Ginny had said. This was mainly inspired by the fact that Lupin was giving him a very stern look, but it was an improvement all the same.

"Alright, well here we are," Harry said when they reached the door to his dorm, "Who wants to go in first?" Fred, George, and Ginny all shook their heads fervently when he asked this. "Nasty," Fred said, "Ron's our brother. If he's actually doing it, I do _not_ want to see it. That's like walking in on Mum and Dad…just wrong."

"I'll do it!" Sirius said willingly, despite the warning look he received from his best friend. "Alright, but quietly, right?" Lupin pressed him, thinking how awkward he would feel in Ron's situation if he was caught in the act. Sirius nodded his accord, and turned the doorknob as quietly as he could and tiptoed inside. Ron was leaning over Hermione, giving her a kiss while she slept the night away.

"AHHH!" he screamed upon catching sight of Sirius. "AHHH!" Sirius screamed when he heard Ron scream. "SIRIUS! What are you doing!" Lupin yelled from outside, and he, Fred, George, Harry, and Ginny came barging into the room. Ron screamed again. "Bloody hell! What are you all doing here?" he asked, voice rising to a squeak on the last word.

"Better question," Sirius said quickly, "What were you doing leaning over Hermione while she slept?" Ron's face immediately turned scarlet. There was no way he could tell them that he had been giving her a sweet, romantic kiss, not with Fred, George, and Sirius in the room. But he certainly couldn't make up a story about how they had been shagging, not with Harry, Ginny, and Lupin in the room. He was in a real mess. He mentally cursed Professor Snape before turning to the group now standing in his dormitory.

"I…" he began, hastily but unsuccessfully trying to think of something to say, "I…I have to go to the bathroom. And shower. For a long time. Because I got dirty. Yeah. See you." And Ron ran as fast as he could out the door to the baths that adjourned their dorm. Quickly, he shut the door.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he decided a shower would be a good way to calm himself down, so he turned on the water in one of the showers and took off his clothes. He was shocked when he realized that his Chudley Cannons boxers were conspicuously missing, and Hermione's red thong had taken their place. Shrugging, he dropped the thong on top of his other clothes and got into the shower just the same.

"Git," Fred commented when Ron disappeared into the bathroom. "Agreed," George agreed, shaking his head at their brother's stupidity. "But the real question is, did they do it?" Sirius asked, proving his excellent ability to focus on only one thing at a time. "The real question is, don't you think we should leave them alone?" Lupin asked, thinking of the panic attack that Hermione would have if she woke up to see them there.

Sirius shook his head. "Nah. That's no fun. I vote that Harry goes in and has a heart to heart with Ron and then reports back what he hears," he suggested, giving his godson an appealing smiling. Harry, though, was not so easily seduced.

"Are you kidding?" he asked, evidently doubting his godfather's sanity, "Ron's in there, taking a shower. Not that I mind showering with him…I mean, not that I enjoy it either…Just, I don't think I should barge in on him. Oh alright!" He couldn't help giving in when Sirius gave him the puppy dog pout that he had long ago perfected on Lupin.

Quietly, he opened the door to the bathroom, and closed it behind him. Sirius, Fred, George, Ginny, and even Lupin had their ears pressed to the door in hopes of hearing the conversation that was about to occur. "Ron? Are you okay?" Harry asked, catching sight of the pile of clothes on the floor and wincing when he saw the red thong.

"Harry? What are you doing here, mate? You better not be here to spy on me, or I'll tell Ginny you-know-what," Ron said threateningly. Harry sighed. He wasn't really in the mood for a shower, but he knew that otherwise, Ron would never believe that he wasn't there to spy on him. "I'm here to take a shower. I was up in the Astronomy Tower with a bunch of people and I got really dirty, you know. Don't mind me," he said, and he threw his clothes down next to Ron and got into another shower.

"So everybody else left?" Ron asked. Harry grunted, which Ron took to mean yes, and Harry took to mean he wasn't really lying, because he hadn't really said anything. "So what happened, exactly?" Harry asked in what he hoped was a casual, best friend sort of way. Though he really sounded uptight and up to something, Ron was not in tune with tones and didn't notice.

"Well Professor Snape said he had thought that I'd be a virgin forever, and Hermione was insulted at everything he was saying so she sort of grabbed me and pulled me up here on an impulse. But then I guess she realized she was in over her head and I left to do a victory dance 'cause I was excited and when I came back she was asleep. So I put her on Neville's bed so I could go to sleep since it's late, but then she was so beautiful, you know, so I was giving her a kiss goodnight and you all walked in," Ron said, the words pouring out of his mouth before he could stop them,

"And now I don't know what to do when everyone asks. Sirius is so cool, and Fred and George would think I was a bloody moron if they knew I didn't shag Hermione when I got the chance. But I can't lie and say I did, because Hermione would absolutely—SIRIUS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Ron broke off and looked horrified at Sirius, whose dark, soft hair was now spread over the hard bathroom floor where he had fallen in the process of trying to hear better by putting all his weight on the door. "Hey Ron. Harry," Sirius said calmly, standing up and brushing himself off as if strange men fell into the Gryffindor boys bathrooms on a regular basis, "I fancied myself a shower, what do you say I join you?"

Before either of the two spellbound boys could answer, Lupin barged into the bathroom as well. "Sirius, if you want a shower, you can take it in my room. I think Ron's been bothered enough tonight," he said nicely, while behind the door Fred and George exchanged knowing looks. "Fine Remmie, but just know that you're a party pooper," Sirius said, and he grabbed Lupin by the arm and walked out of the bathroom.

"Harry, I'll talk to you later. Ron, my apologies on bursting your bubble, call me when congratulations are in order. Fred and George, I love you guys, you rock. Oh and Ginny, Harry's my godson, do us all a favor and shag him sooner rather than later," Sirius managed to get out before Lupin dragged him out of the room while both of them sniggered.

"That man was the best thing that ever happened to Hogwarts," Fred said, cracking up at Sirius's words. Harry cocked his head and gave Fred a confused look. "I thought Dumbledore was the best thing that ever happened to Hogwarts," he said proudly.

George smiled good-naturedly. "I believe what my brother means is, that man is the best drunk shagaholic prankster that ever happened to Hogwarts. Besides, he's far sexier than Dumbledore," he pointed out, giving Harry a wink.

Harry eyed him skeptically. "Crap, I'm naked," he said suddenly, and he grabbed a towel to wrap around himself. Luckily, Ron had already done so. "Well, I think our work here is done," Fred said, grinning at Harry, Ron, and Ginny, "George and I will be next door, savoring the memories of the evening, i.e. listening to Oliver bore us with Quidditch talks and possibly getting a few hours of sleep. Oh and Ginny, you better get to your dorm and get to bed missy. You need your beauty sleep like Mione over there."

Ginny sighed as they walked out the door, but she knew they were right. It would be best to get a few hours of sleep before morning (well, sunrise, since it was already technically morning). "Ron, just so you know, I think that was really sweet what you did for Hermione," she said, smiling, "You two make a great couple."

Ron gave her a half-smile. He didn't really want to talk about what had happened, but at least she wasn't making fun of him. Then the youngest redhead turned to Harry. "Goodnight Harry," she said, walking over to give him a long kiss despite the fact that he was wearing only a towel, "I'll see you both later."

Once Ginny had left, Harry and Ron turned to each other and laughed. The whole thing was rather funny once everyone was gone. "We oughta put some clothes on, mate," Harry suggested, and he and Ron tossed their towels on the floor and replaced them with boxers.

"You know you're right, Hermione does look beautiful," Harry said as he walked over to his bed and got a good look of the innocent brunette fast asleep on Neville's bed. Ron gave him a suspicious look. "Hands off, you've got Ginny already," he said warningly.

Harry laughed at Ron's distrust. "Don't worry," he said roguishly, "You heard Sirius. Ginny's going to shag me sooner rather than later. That's a pretty good deal if you ask me. I'll stick with it. Hermione's all yours, Ron."

"I'm all what?" Hermione said fuzzily, half-sitting up in bed and rubbing her eyes, "Ron? Harry? Oh! What happened!" Harry decided it would be best to let Ron handle this by himself, and got into his bed and pulled the curtains shut. Ron, meanwhile, walked over to Hermione and sat down next to her.

"Nothing Hermione, I promise. You fell asleep so I moved you over to Neville's bed so you wouldn't worry. Everything's okay. But erm, you should probably go back to your room before everyone thinks something did happen," he said, feeling extremely proud of himself for being so mature.

"You're right," Hermione said, standing up a little shakily from having just been asleep, "Thanks Ron. You've been wonderful tonight. And just so you know, I still won't let Professor Snape be right about you remaining a virgin forever. And also…if everyone had to think I did something like that, you're the only one I'd want them to think I did it with."

It took Ron a minute to process what she had just said, as it was a little confusing. When he did, he gave her a hug and a quick, sweet kiss. "G'night," he said, walking her to the door. "Goodnight Ron," Hermione said, squeezing his hand before she darted out the door towards her dorm.

"That was more fluff than a cotton candy," Harry said, opening the curtains as Ron got into his own bed. Ron laughed at how wonderfully accurate Harry was. "G'night Ron," Harry said, laying down and turning out the lights. "G'night Harry," Ron answered, stifling a yawn, "Remind me to get my boxers back from Hermione in the morning."


	61. Bed Time

A/N- READ THIS—IT'S NOT OVER! Silly fanficcers, you forgot to read my author's note thingamabob. I repeat, it's not over yet. In fact, it's not over 'til it's over, which will be when I write "the end" at the bottom of the page. Which will (sadly) be soon :cries: but NOT YET! In fact, here is chapter 61! Anyone want to be on what chapter number I'll get up to? Hehe, read on! And by the way, I will do a morning after chapter, so even when the night is over, the story won't quite be over yet.

While Harry, Sirius, Lupin, Ginny, Fred, and George were investigating Ron and Hermione's escapades, and Professor Snape stormed off to do who knows what, Pansy, Draco, Cissa, Lucius, Oliver, Katie, Angelina, Alicia, Professor Dumbledore, and Professor McGonagall remained up in the Astronomy Tower. "Professor Snape, mother?" Draco repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time to everyone else in the room, "What would ever provoke you to do something so…disgusting?"

"Well I hate Sirius Black, and I hated his stupid friends as well, so it seemed only right to do the only thing I could to make them leave Severus alone. Of course, it didn't work so well, but I did try. But not to worry, your father has managed to completely overshadow that less than wonderful experience through his shagging expertise," Cissa said, leaving Draco with an unpleasant mental picture in his head.

"Thank you, but I've had enough. I really don't need anymore unpleasant mental pictures," he said, thinking of all the appalling things he had witnessed that night. Lucius sniggered at his son's dilemma, but he knew exactly how he felt. The image of Sirius and Remus snogging was now probably permanently impressed in his brain.

Draco was tempted to tell his father that he had no right to laugh, having actually had to kiss Sirius that night, but knew that he would suffer more abuse than just words if he even came close. With that in mind, he decided it would be better if he just left.

"I'm going to bed. I've simply had enough," he said decisively, "I'll see you all (unfortunately) in the morning." And with that, he walked out of the Astronomy Tower. "See you!" Pansy called to the group remaining, and she followed Draco out, apparently unable to spend more than five seconds at any place he wasn't.

"I never thought I'd say it," Angelina said, eyes widening, "But I think Draco Malfoy had the right idea. Wanna turn in, Alicia? Maybe we'll run into Fred and George in the common room." Alicia agreed, and the two of them started to walk out. "Hey, wait for me!" Katie exclaimed, jumping up to join them, leaving Oliver no choice but to follow the three girls back to the Gryffindor dorms.

"Well that's that then," Lucius said, seeing that everyone but Dumbledore and McGonagall had now left, "Cissa, shall we?" Cissa nodded, but suddenly remembered that they weren't sharing a room. She was sharing with Ally Sinistra, and Lucius was, unfortunately, sharing with Snape, who would undoubtedly not be pleased to see him.

Lucius seemed to realize this at the same time as his wife. "Sevvie knows what's good for him. He'll just have to apologize, that's all," he said, and he grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the room. He didn't want to have to spend any longer than he had to with that fool of a Headmaster.

The Headmaster, however, had no problem with this mentality. He didn't particularly enjoy the company of Lucius Malfoy either. "Well Minerva, we appear to be alone," Dumbledore said finally, after a minute of silence following the departure of the Malfoys had passed.

Professor McGonagall blushed. "Yes, I suppose we do," she said, looking around the now deserted Astronomy Tower, "So…should we, erm, return to our rooms?" Professor Dumbledore chuckled and stroked his beard. "There's hardly a point, my dear Professor," he said thoughtfully, "We may as well remain up here until morning…as a sort of Astronomy Tower guard, I should think."

"You do have a point, Albus," McGonagall replied, noticing the ever-present twinkle in his eyes, "And we wouldn't want to skirt our duties, of course." Dumbledore nodded vehemently. "Quite right," he said pleasantly, "I see we see eye to eye." McGonagall was the one to nod this time. "Yes, we do," she said, looking deep into Dumbledore's magical eyes and imagining all the things they could do in the Astronomy Tower before it came time for breakfast.

Meanwhile, Sirius and Lupin were making their way back to Lupin's room, where Sirius was, of course, staying the night. "Hey Remmie, I totally forgot we're just wearing boxers, did you?" he asked, looking down in surprise to see only his red silk boxers. Lupin's eyebrows seemed poised to jump off his head when he looked down to see just his navy boxers with the white hearts.

"Why didn't somebody tell us to put some clothes on!" he asked, shocked that they had gotten through the entire Astronomy Tower affair without having put on their clothes. Naturally, Sirius had an answer to that question. "Well, we were obviously too stunningly sexy for them to want us to cover up," he said, proud of coming up with such a good reason.

Lupin laughed. Sirius never failed to keep him entertained. But he had never managed to figure out how the man never seemed to lose any energy. Here it was, considerably past midnight, and Sirius was still completely wound up. "So Remmie, whatcha wanna do now?" he asked when they finally reached Lupin's quarters and stepped inside.

"Sleep, Sirius," he said, shaking his head at his best friend once again, "I want to sleep! Do you have any idea what time it is, or are you just immune to the effects of a lack of adrenaline?"

Sirius grinned broadly. "No, I know exactly what time it is, Moony! Time to PARRRTY!" he said, a hint of a smirk on his flawless face. Lupin rolled his eyes. He loved Sirius, really he did, but sometimes the man didn't know when to stop. "No, it's time to sleep," he said, trying to make his point gently. Unfortunately, gently didn't seem to work well on Sirius, who completely ignored him and began to dance around the room in his boxers.

Sighing, Lupin decided there was only one way to make his point. "Go to bed, Sirius!" he shouted, pushing Sirius onto the bed, where he sat stunned for a minute. "Very kinky, Moony," he said, sniggering uncontrollably now, "I like it when you go all dominating on me."

Remus couldn't help laughing this time. "Go to sleep, Padfoot," he said, still laughing as he got into his bed. "Fine," Sirius relented, getting into the bed that had been put in on his account still sniggering at the thought of his last remark, "But I'm telling you, you're missing out on a whole lot of Sirius fun."

"Only at four o'clock in the morning is a Sirius/serious joke funny," Lupin said, laughing again while he turned out the lights. Sirius nodded his understanding. Jokes involving his name did tend to get very overdone very fast. "You know what else is funny at four o'clock in the morning?" he asked, unable to stop himself from talking. Unfortunately for him, Lupin tended to fall asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, and was not awake to hear Sirius say, "Me!" and continue to snigger until he finally fell asleep.

Down in the dungeons, though, Snape and Lucius were not having quite so pleasant a time. "I still can't believe you shagged my wife," Lucius said as he stripped down to his boxers and brushing his long blonde hair lovingly. Snape glared at him. Shagging Narcissa Malfoy because the Marauders had made fun of him was not one of his prouder memories, and he wished that Lucius would just let it go.

"I still can't believe you won't shut up about it," Snape said, happily putting on one of his several pairs of black boxers and throwing his sheet toga on the ground. "I'll shut up when you apologize," Lucius drawled calmly. "I'll apologize when you shut up!" Snape retorted irritably. "I'll shut up when you apologize!" Lucius shouted. "I'll apologize when you shut up!" Snape shouted back.

"Ah screw it," Lucius said finally. He was satisfactorily reassured by his wife's comments that he didn't care all that much about something that had happened so long ago. He was confident that he was much better than Snape was anyway. "Alright," Snape said, jumping on the opportunity to forget about it, "Goodnight Lucius."

"Goodnight Severus," Lucius said. It sounded like a rather condescending tone to Snape, but he decided it was best not to mention that. He didn't want to get into another yelling match with the king of evil glares. 

Meanwhile, Ally Sinistra and Cissa were getting ready for bed as well, talking about the events of the evening. "So how was the rest of your night?" Cissa asked politely as she changed into a pink tank top that added a slight bit of color to her pale skin, and a matching pair of pink underwear. Ally smiled. Cissa was always perfectly nice; she didn't know how she had ended up with someone as unpleasant as Lucius Malfoy.

"Quite good, actually," she answered, "I had an excellent time with Severus before we were interrupted. And once he left to go 'stop some Gryffindors from having a good time' or whatever he said, I had a nice time remaining at the dance as a chaperone. It was pretty entertaining actually. Hagrid started the whole crowd doing the Electric Slide at one point; you should have seen it!"

Cissa laughed. The idea of Hagrid doing the Electric Slide was almost too funny to imagine. "How was your night, Cissy?" Ally returned the question graciously. "Good," the blonde replied, "Good. I played some interesting games up in the Astronomy Tower. Suck and Blow, Spin the Bottle…oh, I saw Sirius Black and Remus Lupin snogging; that was interesting. It was definitely an interesting night all around."

Both women climbed into bed when Cissa had finished talking. Cissa was about to turn off the lights when a thought occurred to her. "Hey, did you and Sevvie actually do it?" she asked curiously. Ally Sinistra gave her a look that plainly said no.

"We were about to," she said, a hint of disappointment in her voice, "But then, you know, the Headmaster summoned us to the Great Hall, and we missed our chance to actually do it. It's a shame, too, because he seemed like he'd have been really sexy." Cissa shook her head, giggling. "Don't worry," she said as she turned out the lights, "You didn't miss much."


	62. The Morning After

A/N- IT'S NOT OVER YET! Chapter 62 is here! Unbelievable, isn't it? That's a whole lot of chapters. In MSWord, this story is like over 200 pages. That's a lot. Now READ and REVIEW, and without further ado, The Morning After!

A/N- P.S. If you can guess who took the pictures, I'll give you a prize. Okay, maybe not a prize, but I'll give you credit! So review and send in your guesses! At least one more chapter is to come! It's not over yet! R/R!

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. "Remmie, who the heck sets an alarm clock for the morning after a crazy-ass dance?" Sirius asked, squinting to locate the evil metal box that was Remus Lupin's alarm clock. "Sorry Sirius, it's not like I set it on purpose; I just had it set," Lupin explained, hastily reaching out to shut off his alarm, which read 7:30am.

"Yeah, well have some compassion, man, my head is killing me," Sirius replied. He couldn't have cared less whether Remus had done it on purpose or not; his head was pounding, and the light that was now streaming in through the windows of Lupin's room was certainly not helping things. Beautiful as the day was, Sirius did not appreciate it. That was because Sirius Black, not surprisingly after everything he had drank last night, was now falling victim to a killer hangover. And there was no question that he was not the only one.

But much to Sirius's dismay, Lupin was not one of the many. "How are you not dying?" he asked the shockingly chipper man who had gotten out of bed and was now putting on a pair of jeans and navy blue t-shirt, "You had more to drink last night than you probably ever had in your life? Are you like, immune to hangovers or something?"

Lupin shrugged. It could have been true if it was possible to be immune to something like a hangover, because he felt perfectly fine, and eager to get on with the day. "I dunno Sirius, but why don't you get out of bed and put some clothes on. It's going to be breakfast at eight, and personally, I'm starved," he said, pulling back his curtains to let in even more light, and throwing back Sirius's covers to further entice him into getting out of bed.

"Here, have some chocolate," Lupin suggested, grabbing a piece from the stash that he kept in his desk at all times, "It's the universal cure-all, after all." Remembering the many times he had been too hung over to go to class back when he was at school, and when Lupin had given him chocolate to bring him back to his usual bouncy self, Sirius had to think that his best friend might have a point.

Eating the chocolate, he felt instantly better, though the light was still a little painful on his eyes. "Today feels like a rock n' roll kind of day," Sirius decided, grabbing a pair of white boxers with records all over them, and pulling a pair of faded and torn jeans over them. Paired with a tight but not too tight Queen t-shirt, he guaranteed himself the position of sexiest guy at Hogwarts.

Down in the dungeons, though, someone else was doing his best to vie for that same spot. "What color boxers should I wear, Sev?" Lucius asked, holding up a few pairs as choices. Snape looked at them, and couldn't help noticing the Too Sexy pair among them. Instantly the look on his face went from 'I cannot believe I made it through last night' to 'I cannot believe I didn't kill Lucius Malfoy last night.'

He didn't voice this opinion, however, as he noticed that all the wands had been returned to their owners overnight, and didn't want a curse from Lucius to begin his morning. "What the hell does it matter?" he responded instead, getting a distinct feeling of déjà vu. Rolling his eyes at Snape's moodiness, Lucius picked out a pair of black ones with silver stars, and didn't bother to ask the Potions Master about the rest of his outfit. He was sure he would shape up at breakfast.

Meanwhile, up in the Gryffindor boy's dorm, spirits were much higher. "That was the best bloody dance ever," Seamus said to no one in particular as he got out of bed and threw on some clothes. Both Harry and Ron looked a little confused, not having seen Seamus last night when they went to bed. They figured he must have arrived somewhere between 4:30 and 7:00 that morning.

"So Ron, did you and Hermione finally do it?" the Irish boy asked, turning to look at Ron, who was rummaging in his trunk for a new pair of boxers and other additionally necessary clothes. Ron shook his head, but he didn't look too disappointed. He had come out of the evening with a new girlfriend/snogging partner, and that was more than enough for him.

"Eh, can't say I can say the same for me and Lavender," Seamus grinned, "What about you and Ginny, Harry?" Harry, who had already gotten dressed, smiled innocently. "Do what?" he asked, feigning obliviousness. Seamus laughed excitedly, and Ron's head shot up from where it had been bending over his trunk. "Harry, if you went and…Harry, she's my…Harry!" he said, catching the look on his best friend's face that showed he was clearly just leading them on, "Don't scare me like that, mate!"

"Hey, has anyone seen Neville?" Dean asked suddenly, noting that their fifth roommate was still missing from his bed. The other three boys had not. "Maybe he went down to breakfast early," Harry suggested, perplexed. "That must be it," Ron agreed, finally locating a clean shirt and putting it on, "Let's go find out."

Everyone seemed to be on the same schedule as far as breakfast went, because the entrance to the Great Hall was jam-packed as Harry, Ron, Seamus, and Dean tried to get in. "What's the hold-up?" Seamus called out, but his voice was hardly audible over the buzz that was coming from around the doors.

Almost instantly the magically magnified voice of Professor Dumbledore could be heard over all the ruckus. "If I could have your attention please, breakfast is now being served. I would appreciate it greatly if everyone could move into the Great Hall for a delicious, nutritious meal. I assure you, the pictures will still be there when you leave, and you may look at them in more detail then. Thank you for your attention," he said.

Professor Dumbledore had the impressive ability to command a certain amount of respect from everyone, and so it was not entirely surprising that the crowd in front of the doors began to move slowly towards their House tables, allowing Harry and Ron, who had lost Seamus and Dean in the crowd, to move closer to the doors, which appeared to be covered from top to bottom in pictures.

"Bloody hell!" Ron exclaimed as soon as they were close enough to see what had been causing all the commotion. The pictures Dumbledore had mentioned that were covering the doors were various extremely candid snapshots taken throughout the dance. Who had taken them was anyone's guess, as they seemed to cover just about everything worth covering that had occurred.

"Bloody hell," Ron said again, his face turning scarlet as he spoke, "Is that me?" Harry nodded, doing his very best not to laugh. It was a picture of Ron with his hand about as high up as it could go on Hermione's thigh, face as red as his hair, looking a combination of terrified and turned on.

The look on his face was so entertaining that Harry was about to laugh when he caught sight of a picture of himself kissing Draco Malfoy, and looking like he rather enjoyed it. "Effing Suck and Blow!" the normally cool voice of said Malfoy said somewhat squeakily from behind him, pushing Harry aside and trying to rip the picture from the wall. Unfortunately for him, it had been magically sealed to the wall.

"Move aside, son," Lucius said, stepping up behind his son to look at the picture that was embarrassing him so much. He wrinkled his delicate nose, noticing the unmistakable signs of enjoyment that Harry and Draco seemed to be experiencing in the picture.

"Disgraceful," he started to say, but the word caught in his throat when he caught sight of a picture of himself holding his Too Sexy boxers lovingly. His first thought was embarrassment, but then he noticed how perfectly his long blonde hair fell on his shoulders. "Hey, I look _good_," he said, very pleased with himself, and he strolled into the Great Hall.

Snape, who had been behind him the whole way, remained at the door, eyes glued to two prominently placed pictures. One of these showed him attempting to eat a grape off of Ally Sinistra's chest during Truth or Dare. Unfortunately for him, the grape was barely visible in the photo. The other was of him wearing his sheet-toga, glaring at Sirius but looking not very intimidating.

"Detention, Potter," he said when he noticed Harry watching for his reaction out of the corner of his eye. Harry's mouth dropped open. "What'd I do?" he asked, annoyed with getting yet another detention from his least favorite professor for no reason at all. "Excuse me Potter, but an explanation is not required. Don't make me make it two detentions," he said before turning on his heel and walking into the Great Hall to take his usual seat with the other professors.

When he arrived at the staff table, though, he found his seat already occupied. "Sirius Black, get the hell out of my chair!" he yelled, and he whipped his wand out of his pocket, sending Sirius flying all the way back to the doors of the Great Hall. "Was that really necessary, Snape?" Lupin asked, eyeing the greasy man with distaste.

Snape nodded matter-of-factly. "You might want to join him. It's only fitting that you see some of those pictures," he said mysteriously, leaving Lupin, who hadn't been able to look at the photos through the crowd he had come in with, to run off to join Sirius at the door.

When he saw the pictures that Snape had been referring to, Lupin couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. Sirius, of course, had already made his decision, and was almost doubled over in laughter. Right in the middle of one of the doors was a row of pictures of Sirius and Lupin in some very compromising positions.

The first was of the two snogging in Truth or Dare. Then there was one of Lupin giving Sirius a piggyback down to the kitchens when he was drunk. There was Lupin pulling Sirius into the water in the Prefect's Bathroom. And there was the two of them dancing in their boxers in the Great Hall. And of course, there were pictures of the several snogs they had shared for shock value up in the Astronomy Tower.

"Wow," Sirius said, eyes wide as he looked from the pictures to Lupin and back, "That is some fine camera handiwork." Lupin couldn't help laughing then. Sirius had a point; whoever had taken the pictures had done an excellent job of capturing some particularly 'intimate' moments they had shared.

"Sirius! Professor Lupin! Have you seen Ron and Harry?" Hermione asked, practically tumbling down the stairs. She had accidentally gotten up late, and Parvati and Lavender had neglected to wake her up. "The question is, have you seen these pictures?" Sirius asked, gesturing towards the doors.

Hermione looked up at doors, looking half-scandalized, half-impressed. Then she caught sight of a picture that was not really very embarrassing at all, but just of her, sound asleep on Ron's bed, looking adorably exhausted. "I thought I heard a flash!" she muttered under her breath, then looked up at the two men who were still taking in all the photos on the wall, "So have you seen Harry and Ron?"

"They're over there talking to Ginny, I think," Professor Lupin told her, scanning the Great Hall and catching sight of the unmistakable red hair of Ron Weasley next to the untidy black hair that reminded Remus and Sirius so distinctly of James Potter.

Hermione thanked them and ran over to the two boys. "Did you guys see the pictures?" she asked anxiously, interrupting Ginny mid-sentence. All three of them nodded. "Yeah, I especially loved the one of me reaching into my bra for the Ace of Hearts. That's some incredibly timed photography right there," she said, shaking her head in admiration.

"Yeah?" Hermione said, making it more of a question than a statement, "Well I think I know who took the pictures."


	63. A Night to Remember

A/N- AHHH! It's…it's…it's CHAPTER 63! It's been sooo much fun writing this story, and I can't believe this is the last chapter. I know, I know, say it isn't so! But it's the best place to end it, unfortunately, and I wouldn't want to carry it on and have it lose its appeal. But never fear! I assure you I'll be back with more stories soon (maybe, maybe a sequel, you never know). So read on, one last time, and pretty please, **REVIEW**!

Another A/N- (cue speech music) I'd also like to thank everyone who reviewed, every review makes my day :grins: so **thanks a million** ;:gets kicked offstage for bordering on an bigheaded writer:;

Read this A/N too please!- Eventually, I don't know if it'll be sooner or later, I want to post another superfic like this 63 chapter baby here. Maybe not quite that long, but I'll do my best. So anyway, ;:takes a deep breath and hopes readers won't think she's really that bigheaded;: if you want to be alerted if I post a new story, **put your email in your review and I'll send you all an email if/when I get a new story up**.

This is the last A/N, I swear- Just wanted to say thanks again, and um ;:starts crying cuz I'm gonna miss writing this and all you guys:; I love you guys! I'll miss you! Okay, now enough of me being sappy, on with the story!

"Oh I bet I know," Ron said, looking from Hermione to Harry and back, "I bet it was that camera-toting prat Colin Creevey. You know, the one who's obsessed with Harry?" Hermione giggled at Ron's choice words to describe the president of the Harry Potter fan club. "No Ron," she said gently, "I seriously doubt it was Colin. I'm pretty sure the only one he wants to take pictures of is Harry."

Harry snorted at the mention of Colin. He was extremely annoying, and extremely obsessed. "Wait a minute…Fred and George?" Harry asked, remembering that it had been their idea to have a blind date show in the first place. Besides, taking secret pictures and then posting them definitely seemed like something that the two of them would do. Ron nodded eagerly next to Harry. Fred and George seemed like very likely candidates. But Hermione shook her head. She didn't think it was them.

"Oh! I bet it was Hagrid," Ginny suggested, to the amusement of everyone around them. "Hagrid's bloody huge!" Dean commented, saving Hermione the trouble, "How would he be able to hide from us all _and _take pictures?"

"Well then it had to be Sirius or Lupin," George suggested, joining their conversation from a few seats away. "Wasn't us," Sirius grinned, walking by with Remus at just the right time, "We just saw the fabulous pictures the mystery photographer took of us. Sexy, and I'd be proud to be the one who'd done it, but trust me, you've got the wrong guys."

"Well then who is it, Hermione?" Harry asked, annoyed that he wasn't able to figure it out. "Who's missing?" she replied coyly, leaving everyone within hearing distance to look around and see who wasn't there.

While everyone was looking around to see who had taken the pictures, Professor Dumbledore stood up, a bemused smile on his face. "If I could have your attention—" he began, but was cut off by Ron suddenly yelling, "Neville! It was Neville! He was missing all night, and he's not here this morning either!"

"Control yourself, Mr. Weasley," Professor Dumbledore chuckled, "I'm sure I know what you are accusing Mr. Longbottom of, and I assure you, I will address that issue in good time. But if I may have everyone's attention, please, I would like to say a few words."

It was an acknowledgment to Dumbledore's greatness that, despite the murderous looks on the faces several members of Slytherin house, he was able to make the whole Great Hall fall silent within a minute. Unfortunately, having it remain silent while Sirius was in the room was more of a challenge.

"Who took the pictures? Who took the pictures?" he asked eagerly, earning an evil glare from Snape, who was sitting on the other side of Professor Lupin, "Oh, and while you're at it, Professor, I think I left my clothes down in the Great Hall last night, do you happen to have them with you?"

Dumbledore sighed good-naturedly. "I had a house-elf return them to Professor Lupin's room for you. Now, if I could get on with my announcement?" he asked pleasantly, and Sirius finally fell silent as well.

"Well," the Headmaster began, "I would like to thank everyone who participated in Blind Date for a hilariously entertaining show. I watched it back myself early this morning, and found it most enjoyable. I also appreciate that _most of you_ were on your best behavior at the Spring Ball last night."

"Oh! Oh! I wasn't!" Colin yelled proudly, giving Cho a wink to remind her of their snogging in the Prefect's Bathroom. Dumbledore silenced him with a finger, while many of the students in the Great Hall looked at him angrily. They were so used to seeing Colin with a camera that it seemed only natural that he should have been the one to have taken the pictures.

"Hey! I didn't do it!" Colin exclaimed nervously, "Look! There's a picture of me taking a picture of Harry! I can't take two pictures at once! At least not if I'm in one of them!" The angry eyes of the room seemed to fade away. Annoying as he was, Colin had a point.

"Colin speaks the truth," Professor Dumbledore said seriously, though he couldn't help sniggering at the earnestness with which Colin explained the situation, "But before I announce who the real photographer was, I would like to voice my astonishment at how fast rumors travel around here. For example, the outrageous idea that I myself took the pictures disguised as a cleverly hidden mop. But no, it was not I who took the photographs."

"Then who was it?" Sirius asked, and the question was echoed around the hall. "The photographer was none other than—," Professor Dumbledore began, but was interrupted by Ron, who was so proud that he had figured out the mystery that he shouted, "NEVILLE!" at the top of his lungs. Professor Dumbledore paused for a moment to laugh, and the rest of the Great Hall took this opportunity to join Ron in shouting Neville's name.

"No," Dumbledore said when the noise died down a bit, "It was not Mr. Longbottom. The photographer was none other than one of Hogwarts own alumni, the sexy co-host of Blind Date, who you all thought went home after the Blind Date show but you thought wrong, BILL WEASLEY! Come on down!"

Grinning proudly at his part in the madness, Bill Weasley jogged over to where Professor Dumbledore was standing at the staff table and took a bow. "I'd like to take this opportunity to say thanks to whoever supplied alcohol and raging hormones to this lot," Bill said, pumping his fist in the air and giving Sirius a run for his money as sexiest guy in the room, "Because those are some seriously incriminating pictures, if I do say so myself."

"BILL!" Ron exclaimed, outraged that his own brother had been the one to take such an embarrassing photo of him during Truth or Dare. "I wouldn't push it, Ronnie, I have a whole roll of undeveloped film," the oldest Weasley brother smirked, winking. Ron shut up instantly, and turned away from Bill to put his arm around Hermione, who was seriously annoyed that she had been wrong about who had been taking the pictures.

"Wait. If Bill was the one taking the pictures, then where has Neville got to? I didn't see him all night, and he's not here this morning, either!" Harry asked, confused. At that moment, Hagrid walked into the Great Hall, carrying a very frightened-looking Neville.

"Ye lookin' fer this bloke?" Hagrid asked, giving a little snigger as he set Neville down on the floor next to the Gryffindor table, "I found him hiding in me pumpkin patch all last night. Said he was right afraid to leave, so I let 'im stay fer tea this mornin'. Said summat about a group o' Hufflepuffs wantin' some lovin' from Longbottom?"

All eyes turned to the Hufflepuff table, where Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, and several other Hufflepuff girls who had blushed when Neville had come in were sitting. They each gave Neville a cute little wave, exchanged embarrassed but fluttered looks, and went back to eating their breakfast.

"Don't let them fool you, guys," Neville voice rose about two octaves as he tried to explain his trauma from last night to Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the rest of the Gryffindors sitting around them, "Seriously…they only look sweet and innocent. I'm afraid I'm never going to be the same again…I'm scarred for life, I tell you!"

"You're not the only one," Harry said, thinking of his Suck and Blow experience with Draco Malfoy, "You missed a lot while you were out in that pumpkin patch. I think a lot of people are going to be scarred for life after last night."

That was the general consensus around the hall. Lucius Malfoy kept looking from Cissa to Snape and shaking his head. Draco had already vowed to himself to be extra harsh to Harry to make up for their little snog the night before. Cho had decided never to go within ten feet of Colin Creevey ever again.

Snape, of course, had burned his pink boxers, while Ron had hidden Hermione's red thong at the bottom of his trunk for safekeeping. Meanwhile, Lupin couldn't manage to look at Sirius without getting a little bit turned on, though he couldn't quite remember why.

"Personally, I think it was a night to remember," Fred said, very pleased with his and George's efforts. His twin nodded fervently, in complete agreement. Professor Dumbledore too inclined his head on the matter, and shot Professor McGonagall a meaningful smile as he did so.

"To a night to remember!" Sirius said, sniggering as he raised his glass of orange juice in a toast, "Now, what say we do it again next year?"

THE END --- Blind Date Harry Potter Style ---by BeachBum754 --- 4/26/03-8/30/05 --- THE END


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